Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

5 reasons your partner doesn't want to have sex anymore

There are innumerable explanations as to why couples in long-term relationships find themselves in situations when either one of the partner's starts avoiding sex for a reason the other cannot comprehend.

The explanation for your partner's behaviour may be due to an underlying medical issue or various emotional or psychological factors. Following are a few reasons why your partner does not want to have sex anymore:

1. Physical factors: your partner might be experiencing a loss of libido due to physical ailments, particularly ones pertaining to the endocrine and circulatory systems. Disorders such as diabetes, hypothyroidism, heart complications to name a few, affect the hormone levels in the body, which leads to the lack of sexual drive.

2. Psychological factors: Many mental and emotional factors also affect libido in both men and women. Stress and depression, which often cause sleep deprivation, are two of the biggest causes of unwillingness to have sex. Talk to your partner about what the root of the problem is and ascertain what is creating stress and triggering depression. Communication and counselling are the main ways of dealing with such a situation.

3. Excessive masturbation: If a person watches too much pornography and consequently indulges in masturbation frequently, sexual function is automatically lowered when it comes to performing during intercourse. If your partner masturbates too much, simply ask that the practice needs to be put an end to.

4. Lack of affection: When there is a lack of warmth and affection between partners, the desire to engage in sexual intercourse is automatically diminished. Communicate with your companion to determine ways in which you can rekindle love and passion in the relationship.

5. Addiction to narcotics: If your partner has developed an addiction to certain narcotics, such as nicotine, morphine and various anti-depressants that reduce sex drive, it could be the reason for not wanting to have sex.

The reasons for developing an aversion to sex are often extremely subjective and complex. Open and honest communications between partners may unravel the problem but in many cases, therapy and medical assistance provides the solution.



5 Reasons Your Partner Doesn't Want to Have Sex Anymore

8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life - Sex is probably the most important part of a relationship along with compatibility, trust and comfort. To make your relationship stronger and deeper, happiness in sex life is crucial. It must be the part of your life that you always look forward to and that brings the two of you together irrespective of the way your days go.

Follow these simple protocol to make for a happy sex life and therefore a happy life.

1) Believe you are sexy - Stop undermining yourself. You are sexy, accept it. And believe that your partner gets turned on by you. When you believe that your partner finds you sexy, you will be more interested in sex and so will your partner be.

2) Believe in the little gestures - Sex is not always awesome while you are in the act. The build up through the day can be made with the simplest of actions. A meaningful touch on the breakfast table, a mid-day text saying you miss him and an intimate evening message, or simply holding hands while shopping for grocery, all add up to build the connection between both of you.

3) Focus on the positive - Tell your partner what he does that you like. The kiss on the nape or how their breathe on your skin makes your senses tingle ? tell that. When your partner knows what you like, your bedroom experiments can take interesting turns. Always help your partner focus gently to what gives you pleasure.

4) Make time for sex - When new in a relationship, couples tend to have more sex and the frequency diminishes once they are comfortable in the situation. Avoid this; sex should be in your priority list at all times. Sex indeed should be a natural event. However, our lifestyles don't permit it. Also, there are too many distractions. If you need to schedule sex, it's okay. The idea is to indulge in it. You both have your needs and they should be fulfilled, right?

5) Fantasize - One great way to keep the passion alive is to share your fantasies. Doesn't matter how dirty it is, don't worry about what your partner will think. Far from judging, you yourself might realize something new about your partner. Chances are, that you might love the fantasies you both talk about.

6) Take it easy -  In real life, it is okay to not be perfect, to stop to catch breath and be real. To be happy with your sex life doesn't mean having spectacular sex every time. More than how you perform, it is how the experience was for both of you. Enjoy the process, it is for real.

7) Be responsive - Respond, even if you are not in the mood. Don't shun your partner because you are not in the mood. But if one of you wants to have sex, pushing them away is not a good idea. And if you still don't want to go ahead, explain that it's not them, but the time and plan to connect some time in near future.

8) Be willing to have sex - If you would rather watch tv all day rather than have sex and then do it nevertheless just because your partner initiated it, they would know. Never make your partner feel that you are having sex out of obligation. This is a mood killer and a guarantee for low satisfaction derived. Make sex an enjoyable affair, think what all you like and show them to your partner. 

If you have any further questions on sexual health, ask me by clicking on 'Consult'.

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Having Better Sex - 8 Steps to a Happier Sex Life

8 Exciting Benefits Of Morning Sex

Men love morning sex. A man's body is such that he wakes up ready for sex, psychologically (and, physically) ready for sex, but has to go about his morning chores. Women, on the other hand, wake up to face the day with upcoming days errands on their mind. They need time to warm up for sex. But it is all in the head. While the male partner prefers to snuggle and have a round of morning sex, the female prefers to start the day by getting out of the bed.

The following benefits might change your opinion about the same.

1) Makes You Happier - Beginning your day with sex keeps you happier through the day, and hence healthier
2) Creates Bonding - Couples will be more connected throughout the day, even as they go about with their own work, at different locations. There’ll be a smile on their faces.
3) Enhances Immunity - It makes you upbeat and helps build a stronger immune system.
4) For Skin And Hair Health - Might come as a surprise, but it also improves the quality of your nails, skin and hair, and lessens your chances of catching a cold.
5) Improves Blood Circulation - Being a form of physical exercise which helps dilate the blood vessels and facilitate smoother blood circulation, lessening the risk of heart attack or stroke.
6) Rejuvenates You - Beginning the day with a session of lovemaking ensures you are alert and active as you feel rejuvenated.
7) Lessens Pain - Morning sex is also said to help reduce migraine and pain from arthritis.
8) Burns Your Calories - You burn around 300 calories even before your day has officially begun.


If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

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 8 Reasons 'Morning Sex' Is The Best Start Of The Day

Does watching porn together help you have a better sex life?

It is often said that the couples who do most day-to-day activities together are more committed towards each other. But does the same stand true when it comes to watching sexual content or pornography? Well, research certainly seems to indicate that, with a whopping 96% couples watch pornography together. Here are some pros and cons of viewing porn with your partner.

PROs-

1.  It may help you both in discovering your sexual preferences
It is important for both you and your partner to be on the same page when it comes to discovering your sexuality and figuring out each other’s sexual preferences. Just like adolescent sex education, pornography too educates you about the mechanics of sexual play. It is a useful tool that brings out the kinky side in you and makes you more open to discussions on things that pique your curiosity in the bedroom. As and when you see such visual imagery, it may appeal to you enough to try it out with your partner. Discuss such desires with your partner. This may help you in discovering what really turns you and your partner on.

2. It may help you in maintaining sexual fidelity in your relationship
Watching porn together with your partner can potentially increase the intensity of physical attraction between the two of you.This, as a result, leads to greater gratification for both of you, and if you are sexually satisfied by your partner, you are less likely to look for pleasure outside your relationship. Also, it is way healthier to indulge in it as a team rather than discovering your partner watching porn alone.

3. It may help both of you to pick up newer positions
Porn has the ability to expose you to new and exciting positions you never knew. About 58% of couples who viewed pornography claimed that the shared activity had a positive effect on their sex lives. New moves and unique positions are known to spice up sex lives. Men can surprise their women (or vice versa) with an exotic move or two. Porn may also help in decreasing shyness and in opening up your minds so that you can pick up and practice new moves.

CONs-

Although porn viewing may consist of potential benefits, it may also affect your relationship adversely. When watched in excess, porn may cause certain problems in your relationship, which are-

1. It might set up wrong expectations in reality
Porn movies give you a warped view of what beauty is. It may cause you to have unrealistically higher expectations from your partner, whereas the reality may not match your imaginative hopes and standards. As a result, it may also lead to frustration, aggression and infidelity.

2. It may lead to pornography addiction
 The visual and physical appeal of porn may impact a person’s mental or social well-being. Increased porn viewing may hint at a person’s social isolation, loss of interest in career and other activities etc. It may also make you highly dependent on it, as it allows immediate sexual gratification. As a result the usage may go out of control and relate directly to compulsive behaviour.

3. It may affect your sexual drive and libido
Making love to your partner in real-life may become a foreign concept, as porn can decrease your physical drive with the possibility of making you sexually lazy. Porn may also have certain side effects including probable loss of libido and even difficulty in lasting longer. It may also make regular intercourse seem boring as it may not have the same sensual and visual appeal as pornography.
After realising its various pros and cons if you want to use porn, it is advisable to not use it as replacement but as an accessory for better sexual well-being.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Does Watching Porn Together Really Help You Have a Better Sex Life?

When Should You Use Viagra?

Viagra is a very common drug prescribed for treating erectile dysfunction. It works by enhancing the flow of blood to the penis during sexual intercourse to bring about erection. Viagra actually contains the active ingredient Sildenafil Citrate which is a selective inhibitor of Cyclic Guanosine Monophosphate (cGMP)-specific phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5).

This drug works efficiently with sexual stimulation. Erectile dysfunction is very common among older men whose sexual function tends to fall after they reach their 50s. But these days even younger men in their 30's and 40's are experiencing an increased incidence of erectile dysfunction.

Doctors can even recommend the drug to both younger and elder men who suffer from erection problems.

Solidification of the arteries, the blood vessels that supply blood to the penis, can occur during the teen years. The problem then develops by the time they reach the age of 20-30 years and more, hindering their ability to get and maintain an erection. Men suffering from diabetes and facing the problem of Erectile dysfunction can be assisted by this drug.

The drug should be ideally taken an hour before the sexual intercourse.

On the other hand, you can also take Viagra half an hour to 4 hours before the sexual intercourse. You don't require having food in order to take the drug. But you need to keep in mind that if you take it after a meal high in fats, it can take a little bit longer for you to experience its effects.

Most importantly, the misuse of Viagra should be avoided. It should be taken only under medical supervision. The drug doesn't have the power to help you ejaculate easily if you suffer from problems related to orgasm or even enhance your sexual appetite. It does not enhance sexual timing, so should not be used to treat premature ejaculation. Men also shouldn't expect the drug to take the erections to unexpected heights.

Word of Caution:

One should never take the drug for recreational purposes. One can end up suffering from minor erectile dysfunction due such abuse.



When Should You Use Viagra?

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