5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Knowing premature ejaculation - part 3: management and techniques (non-medical methods)

As shared in part 1and 2 of this series, because of premature ejaculation (pe), both the partners may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 
Remember there is not a single magical drug or medicine in the chemist shop which can solve your problem overnight especially if you have chronic pe. Before seeking any medical treatment for pe, it is appropriate to consider the varied options for solving this issue. These include counseling with a sexual therapist, non- medical treatments like various exercises/ techniques and medical treatments including both modern and alternative medicine.

A. Counseling from an expert - sexual therapist or sexual medicine practitioner:
It is well understood that sex is in the mind. However, repeated pe/ failures can lead to lot of stress and disappointments. Anxiety due to pe itself is a big issue and can lead to recurrence of pe.
Reassurance from sexual therapist / counselor that pe is not a disease and can be easily treatable is relaxing for men who are facing this problem. So please share your detailed history and sexual habits with the expert. This may help the expert to guide you well.

B. Behavioral changes:

Some basic things may also help you to deal with the problem. 

1. Some men attempt to treat themselves for premature ejaculation by distracting themselves by thinking nonsexual thoughts (such as naming cricket players and records) to avoid getting excited too fast when approaching their partners. This helps them to focus their attention away from the sexual stimulation.

2. It is also suggested to men that they should relieve themselves of the sexual tension by ejaculating with self masturbation 1-2 hours before attempting sexual intercourse with their partner.

3. Using condoms is known to help in premature ejaculation in some men by decreasing sensation.

4. Women on top position usually helps to delay orgasm in men

 
C. Exercises &amp; techniques:

There are several exercise and techniques you can try sitting in your home.

1. The" stop and start" method:
This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self until he feels like he is about to reach orgasm. Then he needs to stop the stimulation for about 20-30 seconds and then start it again. Repeat this pattern until the man wants to ejaculate. This can be continued for 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
2. The" squeeze" method:
 This technique involves sexually stimulating the man by self or by his partner until he recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. At that point, the man or his partner gently squeezes the end of the penis (where the glans penis meets the shaft) for at least 15 seconds. Stop sexual stimulation for about 60 seconds, and then start it again. The person or couple may repeat this pattern for at least 10-15 minutes. At the end of say, 10th or 15th minute, continue stimulation until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculates.
3. Practice breathing exercises 

Deep breathing can greatly help in controlling the arousal and tension that cause early ejaculation. Men must avoid shallow breathing as it can trigger premature ejaculation. Instead, what you should do is spend 5 seconds taking in a long deep breath; then hold it for 3 seconds and then exhale for the next 5 seconds. If you can do this for 5 minutes in the bedroom without pause then you can control premature ejaculation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 3: Management and Techniques (Non-medical methods)

6 Unexpectedly easy ways to give your sex life a whole new dimension

New Year is a good the time for new beginnings. At times our sex lives needs to be revived too. After a few years together, a couple’s sex life may begin to stagnate. A boring sex life can negatively impact your relationship as well. But by employing some very easy tricks in the bedroom, you can bring back the passion and add spark to your life. 
Can’t figure out where to start? Here are 6 tips and tricks to help you out. 

1. Be spontaneous: One of the main reasons a couple’s sex life dwindles is because they fall into a routine. Whether it’s the position you choose, or the sequence of events- right from foreplay to the actual intercourse- every couple has their own set routine. Break this monotony and try out new positions that can greatly enhance your pleasure. Also, try having sex somewhere else in the house that you haven’t before to spice things up.

2. Don’t be shy: Sex is one of the most intimate acts you can share with someone. However, sometimes you may find yourself being unable to open up to your partner about what gets you in the mood. This can make sex an unfulfilling experience. Try telling your partner what you’d like him/her to do. You might end up discovering that both of you share a common fantasy you hadn’t spoken about before.

3. Explore all erogenous zones: There are a lot of erogenous zones on a man and woman’s body. Take your time and get to know every single one of them. If you don’t know where they are, explore your partner’s body and see what turns him/her on and where. This is a great exercise that also sets the foundation for more fulfilling sex in the future. 

4. Experiment with your lingerie: Clothes can be a turn on or a turn off depending on what you wear. Try experimenting with your lingerie. A host of options are available out there for both men and women. These days you can even buy edible lingerie on leading online shopping sites. Choose bright shades like red, as they’ve been proven to increase arousal.

5. Play around with sex toys: Introducing sex toys in your bedroom can prove to be very stimulating as well as exciting for both you and your partner. Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes, for both men and women. You can take your pick from vibrators and vibrating rings, handcuffs, etc; even lubricants and gels can be used to enhance pleasure and make sex more exciting.

6. Shave your pubic hair: Another way to give your sex life a whole new dimension, shaving off your pubic hair can increase the sensitivity in your genitals making sex a more pleasurable experience. Besides, for many shaved genitals have a visual appeal and cause intense arousal, which is very important when it comes to having a satisfying sex life. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

6 Easy Ways to Give Your Sex Life a New Dimension in 2016

Resuming sex post pregnancy can take some time as the woman has to go through the initial phase of vaginal soreness and perpetual exhaustion before she can think of having sex. Whether a woman gives birth vaginally or through cesarian section, her body will require time to heal itself; and it is advisable to have intercourse six weeks after childbirth. 

Here are some of the common sex problems post-pregnancy.

1) An eager partner - Your partner might be ready for sexual intercourse but you are not. Even if it is six weeks after giving birth, when the wound inside has mostly healed and perhaps you're not sore anymore, you still may not want to have sex. This is because the hormones in your body are drastically changing, and the uterus is gradually shrinking and your episiotomy wound is progressively healing. In such situations, one should take it slow. Cuddling, kissing and spooning are some of the ways closeness can be fostered.

2) Delicate and tender breasts - Breasts may become sore, heavy and leaky due to nursing your baby. And it is natural that after breastfeeding the whole day, one may want them to be left alone at night. Wearing a nursing top or a tank top during sex is advised. Nursing your baby right before sex can also help as your breasts won't be as full and achy.

3) Sex won't feel the same - It is natural that after delivering a baby, sex won't feel exactly the same. This is because the vaginal muscles would be temporarily stretched out. And there is a chance of temporary soreness and inflammation within the vagina. Kegel exercises may help to get back on track.

So, in case you're a woman and felt strange about not being up for sex post your pregnancy, there's absolutely nothing to be stressed about. And men, if you are reading this tip, your woman needs you to understand her even more after her becoming a mother; so, treat her with utmost care.



3 Things You Need to Know about Post-Pregnancy Sex

5 Common Causes Of Male Infertility

Till some time ago, male fertility wasn't paid much attention to, in our country. But, with changing times and increasing awareness, much is being discussed about male fertility. For couples trying to go family way, it is important to know how male fertility works. For a woman to get pregnant (assuming everything is fine within her body), the following things must occur in the male partner’s body: 
a. Healthy sperms
b. Sperm must get carried in delicate tubes to mix with the semen right before ejaculation.
c. Good sperm count
d. Movement and function of the sperm should be normal.
If any of the above are not happening as should be, it could indicate male infertility. Some of the reasons for male infertility could be:
1) Infections - Infections can interfere with the sperm health of an individual.
2) Varicocele - This happens when the veins which drain the testicles develop a swelling in them. This leads to reduced sperm count and fewer moving sperm. This can be treated and it is possible to improve the result with the help of assisted reproductive techniques like vitro fertilization.
3) Inflamed Testicles - Certain infections are known to interfere with the sperm health and production. These infections include STDs, prostatitis and inflamed testicles due to mumps. Few infections can lead to permanent testicular damage.
4) Inherited Disorder - Infertility can result from inherited disorders like Klinefelter’s syndrome where instead of being born with one X and one Y chromosomes, some males are born with two X and one Y chromosomes. Disorders in the testicles can also be the cause of male infertility.
5) Sexual Issues - Erectile Dysfunction pain during intercourse, premature ejaculation and such can also be the reasons for male infertility.
It is best to consult a doctor to understand the exact cause behind your problem.



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5 Common Causes Of Male Infertility

People who have healthy sex life are not only happier but also healthier than those who don't. Here are 9 health benefits you never knew sex can provide -

1) Rocking Immune System: Regular sex ensures higher levels of what defends your body against germs, viruses, and other intruders.

2) Lowers Blood Pressure: One landmark study found that sexual intercourse specifically (not masturbation) lowered systolic blood pressure.

3) Great Exercise: Sex is a really great form of exercise. It is a muscular exercise that burns calories and increases your heart rate.

4) Lowers Heart Attack Risk: Great sex life is good for your heart. It not just raises your heart rate, sex helps keep your estrogen and testosterone levels in balance.

5) Reduces Pain: Getting an orgasm can block pain. Vaginal stimulation can block chronic back and leg pain, and can reduce menstrual cramps, arthritic pain, and in some cases even headache.

6) Improves Sleep:  People usually dose of quickly after sex and tend to get a sound sleep.

7) Relieves Stress: Sexual arousal releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain's pleasure and reward system. Sex and intimacy relieve you of stress and boost your self-esteem and happiness too.

8)  Reduces Risk Of Prostate Cancer: A study, published in the Journal of the American Medical Association revealed that men who ejaculated frequently (at least 21 times a month) were less likely to get prostate cancer.

9) Helps Women's Bladder Control: Incontinence, a problem that affects about 30% of women at some point in their lives is helped with a regular sex. Good sex is like a workout for their pelvic floor muscles. An orgasm causes contractions in those muscles thus strengthening them

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Having Sex - 9 Health Benefits

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