Anger is good. It protects you. But intense, uncontrolled anger may destroy valuable relationships. Anger is a result of anxiety and fear. When we assume that our expectations will not be met, we become anxious. When we feel unsure about our own capabilities we become anxious. This anxiety creates fear. Anxiety comes from our beliefs. All beliefs can be modified.

Anger has lots of energy. Avoid arguments/confrontations when you are very angry. When you are very angry you are likely to use rough language which may damage your relations and you are likely to behave impulsively. All this you might regret later on. Following are a few techniques which will help you to manage your anger in difficult situations :

Sit down and have a glass of water, slowly. This will help you to calm down a little.
Avoid or go away from that room or situation. Tell the people concerned, that you are angry and would like to discuss it some other time.
Deep breathing exercises help a lot. Close your eyes, take 10 deep breaths, turn your attention towards your body. See what is happening to your body. Tell your body muscles to relax. If your heart is beating fast, if you are breathing fast, continue deep breathing, till it normalises.
Now understand what is making you angry. Understand your own anxiety and fear related to the issue.
Let the other person know how you are  feeling . Start your statements, I feel hurt/insulted/let down/neglected etc. when you do this , instead of saying  You hurt/neglect me . When you express your feeling in this manner, the other person does not feel blamed, which makes the other person more receptive.
Focus on the current issue, don t bring in past situations.
Tell the other person, what you want or expect, instead of telling what you do not want. E.G. Instead of saying  I don t want you to go out now , say  I would like you to stay at home today .
Listen carefully what the other person wants to tell you. Give others a chance to voice their opinions.
Make an eye contact and be firm but polite while communicating your point of view.
Understand everyone s responsibility in the situation. Try to see, what is your share in the problematic situation? Work on that.
Understand what change you want.
Have realistic expectations from others and also from yourself.

Anger Management - 12 Tips To Help You!

No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

Drug addiction is one of the social menaces and in most people, what starts off as a result of peer pressure and trying to be cool ends up affecting lives significantly. It is not just social, but also affects financial, physical, emotional, and social well-being. The small periods of happiness given by the drug is followed by months and years of torment.

The National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA) has identified that drug addiction causes chemical and structural changes in the brain, leading to dangerous and self-destructive behaviours. The brain s response to stimulus like pleasure, joy, happiness, and pain are altered with constant drug abuse. For instance, the neurotransmitter called dopamine, which makes one feel good, is usually produced by the brain in small amounts. However, drugs increase this level to 2 to 10 times more, making the person feel extremely high and happy. Since the body is unable to reach the highest level of happiness on its own, the dependency on these drugs to feel good increases.

Repeated use of the drugs leads to increased dependency, wherein the brain refuses to feel good without reaching those high levels of dopamine. The issue is mostly seen in teenagers and young adults but can be seen in any age group.

October 2 is recognised as National Anti-Drug Addiction Day and nationwide campaigns and drives are done to help people overcome addiction. One of the main reasons a drive this size is required is because of the social stigma attached to the problem. Most families shun away from recognising it as a problem that can be easily treated, and so the affected person is sucked deeper into the problem.

Overcoming addiction: One of the main success factors for treating addiction is for the affected person to recognise that he or she is addicted and needs to get rid of the problem.

    There are national toll-free helplines that are set up, which can guide through the whole program. This way, if required, anonymity is maintained and support for overcoming addiction is increased.
    It involves a group effort involving the affected person, family and friends, medical and clinical personnel, and counsellors in some cases.
    Cognitive behavioural therapy: The person is made conscious of the change in behaviour and the way drugs affect it. Healthier patterns to be happy and joyful are discussed.
    In most cases, the underlying reason for reaching out to drugs needs to be addressed also to prevent relapse.
    Group therapies where the person makes friends who have faced similar issues and overcome the problem. This increases their accountability and commitment to getting rid of the problem.

Drug abuse is a national social menace and needs more free admittance and management.

National Anti-Drug Addiction Day - Overcoming Addiction

What is schizophrenia?
We all know it as a debilitating mental illness that plagues people across the globe. Schizophrenic patients often feel like they are being overtaken by situations and events that are beyond their control. They may complain of seeing people who are not there or hearing voices where there are none. This happens because the neurotransmitters in the brain of the patient do not function appropriately. There are various types, causes and symptoms of this disease. Read up to know more.

Symptoms: psychotic symptoms like delusion are common in patients suffering from this disease. Also, the patient may be severely blunted in the emotional sense, and may bear a lost look and wear a feeling of loss or absence at all times. The thought process or cognition of the patient may also suffer in such cases. Poor concentration and lack of coordination are some symptoms of this kind of suffering. Hallucinations and distorted thought processes also characterise the patient to a great extent. The patient may also display certain typical symptoms like social withdrawal, extreme apathy, and lack of motivation. The patient will also be in an emotionally numb state once the delusions have lessened.

Causes: so what causes schizophrenia, really? while no tests or conclusive examinations exist to pin point the exact diagnosis or cause of the disease, there are many factors that can contribute to the development and progression of the same. Hereditary factors play up in many cases while chemical imbalances in the brain also lead to this condition. The serotonin levels and the functioning of the neurotransmitters are the most significant causes of this disease, in such cases. Excessive abuse of drugs like lsd and cannabis can also contribute to this condition, while family relations and a dysfunctional environment can also lead to this disease.

Types: there are many different kinds of schizophrenia. One of them is paranoid schizophrenia, which makes the patient highly suspicious. Disorganised schizophrenia can lead to incoherence in speech and thought. Catatonic schizophrenia can cause social withdrawal while residual schizophrenia can lead to a complete lack of motivation. Finally, schizoaffective disorder can lead to major mood swings.

The various kinds of schizophrenia are characterised by varying degrees of mood swings, depression, paranoia and delusional thinking. The progression of the disease can be checked with the help of cognitive behavioural therapy, which can help in reprogramming the brain of the patient to a great degree. Rehabilitation programs as well as case management can help in the long run. But the key here is to recognise the symptoms early on and get the treatment or counselling started to reduce the symptoms and their spread.

Schizophrenia: Types, Causes and Symptoms

In the modern day lifestyle, it is extremely difficult to be stress free. Even a tiny situation like losing your pen to a something like meeting a deadline at work can cause stress. Stress acts like a catalyst to different diseases like high cholesterol, hypertension, cardiac diseases, etc. You cannot avoid stress, but what you can do is help yourself fight it; and you can actually fight stress with the help of food as well. Here are a few food items which will help you with your fight against stress:

1. Chocolate: Chocolate is one of the best stress busters. It contains magnesium, phenyl ethyl amine and carbohydrates, all of which help lift your spirits. Chocolate helps in the reduction of stress hormones, helping you to relax.

2. Coffee: Coffee helps your brain signal the production of BDNF (a brain derived protein), which helps to keep your brain cells healthy. A low level of BDNF can cause a lot of stress and depression. Coffee triggers many neurotransmitters, which control your mood changes; so may be a cup or two of coffee will help your to be chirpier.

3. Green leafy vegetables: All green leafy vegetables like spinach contain a high quantity of magnesium. Magnesium prevents headaches and fatigue, which in turn reduces stress.

4. Black Tea: Black tea can relieve you of stress, quicker than any other food item. Black tea reduces the amount of cortisol, a hormone which causes stress, and gives you a feeling of calmness.

5. Milk: Milk contains calcium, which is known to ease anxiety and control sudden mood swings related to PMS or post menstrual stress.

6. Bananas: Bananas have a huge content of dopamine, which is a natural chemical that works towards boosting your mood. This is the same chemical released in your body after a session of working out. Bananas also have a lot of potassium and B group vitamins which work towards soothing your nervous system and a lot of magnesium which brings in positivity to your mood.

7. Almonds: Almonds are rich in vitamin E and group B vitamins, which will help you to be more resilient when you are depressed or anxious.

So if you are stressed out, pop in a few almonds or have a cup of tea, and release your stress.

7 Foods That Fight Stress

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an abnormal condition of the mind that develops when a person is exposed to certain traumatic events in life such as accidents, sexual assault or warfare.

The major symptoms of PTSD are:

Reliving the traumatic experience over and over again; this leads to severe and long-term mental distress.
Recurring dreams about the events.
Provocation of traumatic thoughts by the slightest event that causes distress to the individual.
Avoiding memories and thoughts that might remind them of the event.
Developing a negative view of themselves and the world.
Developing social or specific phobias.
Treatment

Medication and antidepressants: Medicines such as paroxetine, sertraline and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) help the individual address insomnia related problems that occur due to PTSD and suppress nightmares.
Psychotherapy: This form of therapy is used to cure both mental health conditions (such as obsessive compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression) as well as emotional problems that result from PTSD. Skilled mental health experts are needed for this form of treatment to be administered. They would listen to each individual patiently and provide effective strategies to give solutions to the problems. Some of these therapies are:
Cognitive Behavioural therapy: This therapy enables the individual to adapt to changes and recognize thought patterns which lead to irrational and negative behaviour and actions.
Exposure therapy: This therapy causes the affected individual to first become anxious by exposing him/her to the traumatic memories, situations and objects by simulating them. The therapy helps the person to overcome his/her fears and become comfortable in the same environment that had previously caused fear and anxiety.
Group therapy: This popular and effective form of therapy allows the individual to share his/her feelings, fears and thoughts with a group of people who have themselves experienced similar trauma in their lives. Sharing such experiences helps reduces stress levels.
Some Self-Help and Coping Tips include:

Avoiding situations that cause PTSD can worsen the condition. Hence, the individual should try to embrace and face such situations boldly.
PTSD can result in loss of motivation and stress. Try utilizing your time in socialising, indulging in certain or even exercising for that matter.
Taking some time out to relax and having fun is very important. This calms the body and mind, thereby improving one s mood.

PTSD - 6 Major Signs + Treatment

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