MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATION
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction – at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments  and misunderstandings  can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive – leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants. 
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson. 

 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution. 
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. 

We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don’t matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

SOME EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES TO HOLD EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS:
1. INITIAL AGREEMENT: The other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn’t mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes its important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes its ok to “lose” individually in order to “win” together in the end.
2. EMPATHY: Sometimes putting yourself  in the other persons shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,” I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate”. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. ASK QUESTIONS: When you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested to resolve the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory  questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. “Is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem”?
4. USING “I” STATEMENTS: Take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, “I feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.” This statement is much more effective than saying, “You have made me feel very upset.” 
5. COMPLIMENTS: Find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, “I genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.” 

A RATIONAL APPROACH TO RESOLVING CONFLICTS:
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts. 
1. Identify the Problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use “I” statements and avoid blame. 
2. Come Up With Several Possible Solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim toward quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate These Alternative Solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise. 
4. Decide on the Best Solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution. 
5. Implement the Solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down. 
6. Continue to Evaluate the Solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually. 

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity in personality and working styles may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences can bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may overtime sour the relationship and make living or working together difficult. You also need to look out for an emotionally or physically abusive relationship, which is based on power differential rather than respect and trust. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable “goodbye” or "agree to disagree".























Ready to Quit? Then Expect this!

Withdrawal Symptoms: Be aware that the withdrawal symptoms may begin as soon as four hours after the last cigarette, generally peak in intensity at three to five days, and disappear after two weeks. Withdrawal

Symptoms can be

Physical like Headache, tingling in the hands and feet, sweating, gastro-intestinal (cramps, nausea) and/or Mental like tension, craving, anxiety to withdrawal, feelings of dependency, temper tantrums, irritability, intense needs, , insomnia, mental confusion, strong emotional and mental responses like feelings of being an infant.

Plan to Quit:

Before you plan to quit, ask a few questions to yourself like,

Do I really want to stop smoking?
What is holding me back?
What are the Real problems/excuses?
Do I accept that there is no miracle cure?
  Be clear about your reason &amp; readiness to stop.
  Draw up an action plan.
  Set a date and stick to it.
  Plan what you will do instead of smoking.
  Give up completely.
  Don t allow even a quick puff.
  Make quitting number one priority.
  Particularly in the first crucial week.
  Plan it with your friends, agree to support each other and make a pact not to let each other down.
  Make sure all cigs are destroyed.
  Get rid of all smoking reminders.
  Stay away from people who smoke.
  Keep busy.
  Pamper yourself.
  Decide what you are going to do with the saved money and put it aside.
  Try to avoid danger areas.
  Find activities that focus the hands and mind but are not taxing or fattening: computer games, solitaire, sewing, crossword puzzles, etc.
  Set quitting goals on a day to day basis and reward yourself when they are met.
  Think repeatedly about the advantages of quitting.
  Do deep breathing exercises.

Intense Cravings:

When the cravings become uncontrollable, try these 5 D s
  Delay
  Deep breathing
  Decide
  Drink water
  Do something else

Pharmacological Agents:

Your physician can prescribe you one of the following treatment options to help you quit.

Nicotine replacement in the form of Nicotine patches, gums.
Medication like Bupropione hydrochloride (Zyban) and Verenicline,(Champix)
Always Remember: MOTIVATION IS THE ONLY KEY TO SUCCESS !

Quitting Smoking - Know Everything About It!

If you are a heavy drinker and consume excess alcohol, you may face severe consequences related to short-term and long-term health. Alcohol has several negative impacts and affects on your heart. Although occasional drinking does not cause much harm, excess drinking may lead to many heart complications. There are chances of the development of cardiovascular diseases in an alcoholic person.
Alcohol affects the heart in several ways. Binge drinkers are more prone to face these complications. A person who drinks alcohol regularly, drinks very fast and drinks much more than the recommended consumption limit during a single session is called a binge drinker.

Here the ways in which alcohol affects your heart:

Alcohol weakens the heart muscles: Heavy drinking for a long span of time tends to weaken the heart muscles. A condition known alcoholic cardiomyopathy may be caused. When the heart gets weakened, proper contraction gets disrupted and the heart is unable to pump sufficient amount of blood. Due to this, a person may experience certain symptoms such as tiredness, irregular heart rhythm, shortness of breath and swelling of the feet and legs. This can also lead to a heart failure.
Alcohol affects your heart beat rate: Binge drinking and regular drinking over a long period of time may affect the rate of the heart beat or how quickly the heart beats. Alcohol may cause the heart to beat too fast, and irregular beating is observed. This is a condition known as arrhythmias, which may have grave consequences on your health. If you are not a regular drinker but drink too much in a day, you could face this condition.
Alcohol can lead to high blood pressure and also cause a stroke: Binge drinking leads to increased blood pressure, also known as hypertension. The blood vessels become stiff, and this causes the pressure to rise in the arteries and veins. Heavy consumption of alcohol may also trigger several stress hormones to be released, which cause a constriction in the blood vessels. This leads to increased blood pressure. Hypertension may lead to a heart attack or stroke.
In order to reduce the negative impacts of alcohol on your heart and overall health, you must practice drinking in moderation. You must not drink more than fourteen units of alcohol in a single week. Consume these fourteen units in three to four parts instead of consuming it all at once. You should give gaps and avoid regular drinking.

Alcohol - How It Affects Your Health?

Anxiety is a very normal emotion, which gives rise to feelings of nervousness every now and then. An anxiety disorder is a serious medical condition in which people experience a high degree of distress and mental trauma, which causes difficulties in leading a normal life. People suffering from this medical condition experience high levels of anxiety and nervousness almost all the time. Here are the symptoms that indicate you're suffering from anxiety disorder.

1. Excessive worry - This condition persists if you worry about the day to day activities a bit too much on a regular basis. It is identified when you start taking too much stress about very petty things, which tends to affect you in an adverse manner. A noticeable sign of excessive worry can be too much fatigue.

2. Sleep problems - Problems falling asleep at the right time and problems in maintaining a sound sleep are two signs that indicate you have an anxiety disorder.

3. Irrational fears - This symptom is not generalized; instead, it is specific and subjective in relation to a particular thing or situation. The fears that are experienced under this category are sudden and unexpected in nature and there is no fixed rationale behind these fears.

4. Muscle tension - Muscle discomfort and pain is one of the leading physiological causes of an anxiety disorder. The pain felt is chronic and pervasive, and is very common among people facing situations of anxiety. If you are exposed to constant periods of anxiety, you will experience fatigue, muscle pains and unwillingness to work.

5. Chronic indigestion - Problems related to the digestive system are also a sign of anxiety disorder. In this case, you may face constant digestive problems accompanied by a common disorder called IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). IBS refers to an anxiety situation in the digestive tract, which is characterized by stomach aches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea.

Apart from the above-mentioned symptoms, other symptoms of an anxiety disorder include stage fright, self- consciousness, panic attacks, memory flashbacks, perfectionism, compulsive behaviors, self- doubt, and such others.



How to know if you have an anxiety disorder?

When it comes to the brain and IQ, is bigger better? Does size really matter? Is there really a connection between the size of your brain and intelligence? With the help of findings by neurologists and scientists, we seek to find out!

Ailments and the brain: Scientists have found that children with autism have a brain that has grown in a disproportionate manner in the very first year of their life. This prevents the child from making connection in a normal manner. On the other hand, children and adolescents who suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or ADHD show sign of having a much smaller brain size. Many scientists have shown that the size of the brain shrinks as we age and this does not have any visible effect on our cognitive abilities.
It s all relative: The size of the brain does not really have a bearing on the way a person s cognition gets shaped. Even large mammals like elephants and whales are finally hunted and tamed by humans who have smaller brains in comparison. The brain is made up of billions of neurons, which need to function properly. It may be seen that scientists consider the brain mass in relation with the rest of the body so as to speculate about the cognitive abilities of the person. Why is this required? Large animals need a well functioning and proportionate brain size to control and run their organs with proper cognition for satisfactory results, which is what we humans seem to have done.
Neanderthal brain: Historically, the earliest man or the Neanderthals are said to have had larger brains than we do. These people are believed to have brains that are at least 10% larger than the brains that we have in our modern times. The shape of their brain was different too. They were also heavily muscled people which had a bearing on the size and shape of the brain and bodies as well as the lean tissue within the brain. They also survived very successfully for a period of over 200,000 years, which obviously points to some form of elevated cognition, as per many scientists.
Animals: While animals with small brains like lizards and reptiles do not perform too well on IQ tests, the animals with bigger brains like elephants and dolphins perform much better. But the medium sized brain of monkeys, lemurs and other animals are said to perform in the best manner. The correlation between the body size and the brain does not seem to hold good here, as per various researches.
So the verdict as per medical science and research stands divided!

Brain Size and Intelligence - Are the Two Related?

Are you aware of the schizophrenia and the adverse effects it inflicts on a person? Schizophrenia is a chronic and extremely severe mental disorder that affects how a person thinks, behaves, and feels. Schizophrenia patients seem like they are not aware of reality. The condition requires lifelong treatment, even after the symptoms leave. There are various types of treatments, which are used for schizophrenic patients. The treatment is usually guided by an experienced psychiatrist. 

The various modes of treatments are as follows:
Medications: Medications are very important for the treatment of schizophrenia, and antipsychotic drugs are most commonly used. They help in managing the symptoms by affecting dopamine. Treatment using antipsychotic drugs aims at managing the symptoms effectively. Antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs are also used for treatment. Several weeks are required for these medicines to show results. Most of the medications used for schizophrenia treatment are associated with severe side effects and are thus avoided by many people. The patient s cooperation with treatment determines the choice of drug.

First generation antipsychotics: These medicines are associated with adverse neurological side effects, such as the possibility of developing tardive dyskinesia, which is an irreversible movement disorder.
Second generation antipsychotics: These medicines are preferred because of the lower risk of adverse side effects on the body than first generation medicines.
Psychological interventions: When the patient s psychosis decreases, psychological and psychosocial interventions are required. They include the following:

Individual therapy: Psychotherapy is important for normalizing a patient s regular thought patterns. Learning about ways to deal with stress, and identifying warning signs can help patients manage their condition better.
Social skills training: This aims at improving a schizophrenic person s social interactions, communication and his/her ability to take part in daily activities.
Family therapy: Family therapy is important for educating the families of schizophrenic patients about the disorder, and let them know about the ways to deal with it.
Vocational rehabilitation and supported employments: Most people with schizophrenia need some kind of daily living support. Programs are offered by several communities and self-help groups for helping schizophrenic people with housing, jobs, crisis situations. With proper treatment, most schizophrenic people manage to deal with their symptoms and illness.

Hospitalization: During emergency or crisis periods of extreme symptoms, a patient may need to be hospitalized to get proper nutrition, basic hygiene, sufficient sleep, and safety.
Electroconvulsive therapy or ECT is carried out for schizophrenic patients who do not respond to drug treatment. This therapy is also beneficial for patients who have got depression. It is recommended for you to consult a doctor on experiencing any symptom of schizophrenia.


Schizophrenia - Different Modes Of Treatment That Are Followed!

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