In the modern day lifestyle, it is extremely difficult to be stress free. Even a tiny situation like losing your pen to a something like meeting a deadline at work can cause stress. Stress acts like a catalyst to different diseases like high cholesterol, hypertension, cardiac diseases, etc. You cannot avoid stress, but what you can do is help yourself fight it; and you can actually fight stress with the help of food as well. Here are a few food items which will help you with your fight against stress:

1. Chocolate: Chocolate is one of the best stress busters. It contains magnesium, phenyl ethyl amine and carbohydrates, all of which help lift your spirits. Chocolate helps in the reduction of stress hormones, helping you to relax.

2. Coffee: Coffee helps your brain signal the production of BDNF (a brain derived protein), which helps to keep your brain cells healthy. A low level of BDNF can cause a lot of stress and depression. Coffee triggers many neurotransmitters, which control your mood changes; so may be a cup or two of coffee will help your to be chirpier.

3. Green leafy vegetables: All green leafy vegetables like spinach contain a high quantity of magnesium. Magnesium prevents headaches and fatigue, which in turn reduces stress.

4. Black Tea: Black tea can relieve you of stress, quicker than any other food item. Black tea reduces the amount of cortisol, a hormone which causes stress, and gives you a feeling of calmness.

5. Milk: Milk contains calcium, which is known to ease anxiety and control sudden mood swings related to PMS or post menstrual stress.

6. Bananas: Bananas have a huge content of dopamine, which is a natural chemical that works towards boosting your mood. This is the same chemical released in your body after a session of working out. Bananas also have a lot of potassium and B group vitamins which work towards soothing your nervous system and a lot of magnesium which brings in positivity to your mood.

7. Almonds: Almonds are rich in vitamin E and group B vitamins, which will help you to be more resilient when you are depressed or anxious.

So if you are stressed out, pop in a few almonds or have a cup of tea, and release your stress.

7 Foods That Fight Stress


7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is an anxiety disorder, which can be indicated through obsession, having pervasive thoughts or thoughts, which may upset you, having certain compulsions, and practicing certain rituals, which may help to control or manage your obsessions. It is a disorder, which cannot be cured, but can be controlled with the help of treatment. Mostly, OCD is considered to be a lifelong disorder. It often circulates around the fear of germs or sickness and around keeping order and maintaining patterns. A person suffering from OCD can often be extremely annoying. Hence here are a few tips you can use to deal with OCD:

1. Understand OCD: The first step towards dealing with OCD is to know what you have to deal with. Gather as much information as you can about OCD and also read up about how you can overcome it. You need to know the symptoms of OCD so you can identify the disorder. Almost everyone suffers from OCD at one point of their lives. Hence, it is extremely important to understand OCD in order to treat it.

2. Work with your compulsions: Do not get petrified about your compulsions if you are planning to overcome your OCD, instead work with them. Try not to encourage their development. If you are worrying about whether you have switched of the lights, try and develop a mental picture of you doing it. If you are able to get a clear picture, then you have, otherwise you can go and switch it off. Another option is to maintain a list where you tick off the activity once you have done it so that you don't have to worry about it later on. 

3. Maintain a journal: Maintaining a journal will help you curb your fears and negative thoughts. Write down all your obsessive thought and reflect on how they are affecting you and whether they are worth your worry or time. Gradually you will see that you are able to control these thoughts and will be able to push away any negativity which comes along with them.

4. Remind yourself about the good in you: Make this your regular practice. Do not undermine yourself, instead make yourself feel good. This will help you to get over the fact that you have done something wrong in your daily activities (like not turning the gas off when you actually have) and that wrong is going to harm people.

Chronic OCD will require therapy and medical assistance. Hence if you are able to detect the signs at an early level and are able to adopt the above measures to control it, then going to a doctor might not be necessary.

Tips to Deal With Ocd

Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

We have a tendency to be our own worst critics. This affects your self-esteem that in turn affects how you live your life. Self-esteem can be defined as how a person feels about himself or herself and his or her abilities. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your self-esteem.

Make the right comparisons: It is human nature to judge yourself in comparison to other factors. However, comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. While one person may be great at outdoor sports, art may be another s strong suit. Find your own strengths. If you must compare, make a comparison on how you have progressed. If you like writing, look at how your style has evolved. Similarly, if you like a sport, look at the improvements you have made.
Set realistic goals: Whether its weight loss or career, it is important to set realistic and attainable goals. This should never be set in relation to another person. For example, setting a goal to get a promotion faster than your friend is a bad goal. Instead, set a timeline by when you want to reach the next step of your career. Ensure that these goals are realistic. You may have peers who have turned entrepreneurs but if you know that you do not have the necessary financial backing available, setting a goal to start up your own company may not be a good idea. Instead, if you do want to set up your own firm set a goal for the amount of money you need to put aside.
Focus on things you can control: There are some things we can control and others that we cannot. Do not focus on the latter. For example, you have little control over the education you received as a child. However, you do have control over the training and education you want to receive now. If you feel that you need to learn something more, take steps towards it. Merely saying that you did not go to a top school will not help.
Celebrate the small Stuff: Even small victories need to be celebrated. For a socially conscious person, simply going out for a cup of coffee with someone else is a victory. Similarly, booking online tickets could be a victory for a technologically challenged person. Celebrate these small things in life and you will soon be celebrating more things than dwelling on things you feel bad about.

Self Esteem - Ways You Can Enhance It!

Grief is a complex emotion that may give you side effects like guilt and make you struggle as you try to get through your everyday life. It is usually caused by some loss in life which may have to do with relationships, work or any other reason like a chronic physical ailment or disability. Complicated grief disorder is a condition where the extreme level of grief impairs a person and how he or she behaves in his or her daily life. It can have a debilitating effect and make a person helpless when it comes to dealing with everyday functions. It may continue for more than six months after the loss, and may even lead to depression and anxiety, among other complications.

Let us cast a glance of how this may be dealt with.

Psychotherapy: Cognitive-behavioral therapy and other forms of therapy can often help people who are suffering from this form of prolonged grief. With this kind of therapy, a patient can actually find an outlet to discuss the various emotions that the bereavement has brought on, and how he or she is not able to cope. The therapist, in this case, is usually a psychiatrist or a psychologist, who can then help in reprogramming the attitude of the patient so as to curb the grief and move on with life by embracing daily functions.
Group Therapy: In many cases, group therapy may also work. It is a natural human tendency to be grateful for what we have when we get to hear of higher and greater adversities. And when we see people suffering from those adversities actually taking steps to get over it, we can also get hugely motivated to do the same with our own lives. This is why group therapy is a powerful mechanism that many doctors and psychiatrists recommend for dealing with complicated grief therapy. This does not even need to be a formal therapy session. It can even be a club or a get together of people who have been through a similar problem.
Medication: In some extreme cases, the patients may be prescribed some antidepressants as well as beta blockers that can put their emotions right until they can deal with them in a better manner. Such medicines also help in numbing that part of the brain so that the patient may function in a more normal manner. Yet, care must be taken that the patient does not get addicted to such kind of medication.
Change of Focus: Travelling or picking up a new hobby can also have a positive effect on the person suffering from this condition. It can help in triggering the production of dormant hormones in a more normal way so that the patient may function in a more normal way, without the debilitating grief.


How To Deal With Complicated Grief Disorder?

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