Don t like social gatherings? Have you always been the one who avoids family get together? If your answer is affirmative, then you are probably suffering from Avoidant personality disorder.  Avoidant personality disorder is a psychological condition wherein, one feels extremely shy. Becoming overly sensitive to rejection and developing feelings of inadequacy are common signs of this disorder. This disorder can lead to problems in your work life and relationships. 

Symptoms
With APD, the commonly surfacing symptoms would include disapproval and disregard of situations and people, rejection and embarrassment. It generally gets very difficult for the one to get acquainted with new people and form intimate relationships. One generally ends up misinterpreting people s comments and criticism thus, feeling angry and frustrated all the more. 

Causes
The exact cause of APD has not been established yet. It is believed that environmental and genetic factors play a role in this disorder. People who are inherently shy and reserved are usually prone to developing this psychological anomaly. 

How do you treat APD?
In order to treat APD, you can opt for the following modes of treatment:

Psychotherapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy is a treatment option for APD wherein, the doctor counsels on how to change one s thinking patterns and thought process, thus, influencing his/her actions.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy: Psychodynamic therapy involves you becoming aware of the unconscious thoughts. It helps you figure out how your past experiences frame your behavior. Your past emotional pains can be resolved with this technique so that you can move ahead with your life. 
Medications: Anti-depressant medications used to treat depression and anxiety can be used to treat APD.

Prefer Social Isolation - Can it be a Sign of Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Addiction not only includes physical things we consume, such as drugs or alcohol, but also includes virtually anything, such abstract things as gambling to seemingly harmless products, such as chocolate, etc. In other words, addiction may refer to a substance dependence (e. G. Drug addiction) or behavioral addiction (e. G. Gambling addiction).

Causes

There is a link between the repeated uses of an addictive substance and how the human brain experience pleasure, its use has a nice reward, leading to further and more frequent use. The addictive substance, be it nicotine, alcohol or some drug actually causes physical changes in some nerve cells in the brain. After a while, the user of the potentially addictive substance does not get the same pleasure and has to increase the dose, as his/her body's tolerance to it increases. Eventually, the user no longer experiences pleasure from the substance and takes it simply to prevent withdrawal symptoms taking the substance just makes them feel normal. When tolerance increases, the risk of addiction is much greater.

Signs and symptoms

A person starts to show symptoms when a person takes the substance, such as nicotine, alcohol etc. And has given a serious attempt to stop, but is unable to do so because of the withdrawal symptoms. The body of an addict will go in withdrawal state when once the level of the substance abused is below a certain level. When a person goes in withdrawal state it will show signs, such as craving, bouts of moodiness, bad temper, poor focus, extreme temperament, poor focus, continuous feeling of depression, emptiness, frustration, anger, bitterness and resentment. Apart from these the addict will also display symptoms such as increased appetite, insomnia, constipation, and diarrhea. Withdrawal caused by some substances can also trigger signs like violence, seizures, hallucination, sweating and trembling, etc. However, the addiction continues despite health problem awareness. An addicted person commonly feels they need their drug in order to deal with their problems.

Investigation of addiction

Blood test is advised to determine whether the substance is still in the blood (whether the substance has been taken recently). Dsm criteria for substance dependence that is a patient diagnosed with substance dependence (an addiction) must meet criteria laid out in the dsm (diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), a manual published by the american psychiatric association.

What you can do?

Acknowledge the problem and consult for help from an expert. Family members must be supportive in creating a congenial environment for the addicted person.

Role of homeopathy in management of addiction

The first step for the addicted person is to acknowledge that there is a substance dependency problem (addiction problem). The next step is to get help. In most of the world there are several support groups and professional services available. Treatment options for addiction depend on several factors, including what type of substance it is and how it affects the patients. Typically, treatment includes a combination of inpatient and outpatient programs, counselling (psychotherapy), self-help groups, pairing with individual sponsors, and medication.

Talking of medication, homoeopathy definitely has a major role to play in the de-addiction journey of a'patient. Over the years it has been seen that homeopathy has produced tremendous results in such cases. People have approached for quitting alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc. And majority of them have been wonderfully helped by homoeopathy. Those who haven't achieved desirable results have either lacked willingness or conviction on their own part, or have had a non-congenial and non-co-operative environment at home and work place. For any de-addiction plan to be successful for a patient these 2 factors are the most important. A willing person with a co-operative and supportive environment is much more receptive and responsive to the medical treatment.

The commonest attacking area for any addictive substance is the central nervous system (cns). The substance inhibits the release of neurotransmitters, which are responsible for carrying nerve impulses. Once these neurotransmitters are inhibited in their normal functioning, a person develops delayed nervous responses and irregular nerve impulses leading to addiction. It is a vicious circle. So, as the centre of attack is the cns, a medical system that boosts and strengthens the cns would automatically prove beneficial in such dreadful cases. Homoeopathy is that very medical science! the homoeopathic medicines are absorbed through the nerve root endings of the tongue and directly hit the cns. There are some very powerful homoeopathic medicines, which have the ability to shake up the cns and work in a normal manner as it is used to be. These homoeopathic medicines, thus have the ability to develop control and also the power to abstain from the substance in later stages of the treatment.

But the first and foremost attempt is made to manage the withdrawal symptoms. It is the fear of the withdrawal symptoms only that a patient may lose conviction and confidence in him and give in to the indulgence once again. This is where the role of family and friends also comes in. When the struggle of 1 man becomes fight for the whole team; chances are very high of coming out victorious. There are brilliant medicines in homoeopathic science, which can help the person in managing and fighting with the withdrawal symptoms with ease. Medicines like nux vomica, kali phos, arsenic album, coffea cruda, aconite, gelsemium, argentum nitricum, ipecac, acid sulphurosum, caladium, daphna indica, quercus, etc. Have proved to be extremely effective in helping a person wean off completely of the addictive substances.

Mind the mind

Over the past two issues, we took up the burning problem of addiction as a mental illness, explored its, nature and probable causes that go into the making of an addict. The current issue is aimed at spreading awareness about the available evidence based psychological treatments for de-addiction.

1. Psychotherapy: also called as'talk therapy, is aimed at helping the patient to understand the link between their thoughts, feelings and behaviour so that the maladaptive ones can be replaced with more adaptive and productive processes. Interventions in terms of cognitive behaviour therapy (cbt), motivation enhancement therapy (met) and behaviour therapy are efficient in the treatment of addiction behaviour.

2. Craving control: use of certain medicines and behavioural techniques can help a person deal with the intense feelings of craving when it seems too much to bear. It gives a sense of greater control to the person over the substance, which in turn motivates him/her to stay away from using the substance. Many people report that they tend to continue the abuse the substance since they are unable to handle the period of intense craving, which can come all of a sudden.

3. Relapse prevention: arguably it is the most important component of de-addiction program. Leaving the substance is not that hard, but staying away from it is the most difficult part as reported by many patients with addiction. To ensure that the person stays clean and healthy without the substance, they are taught some techniques like asking for help whenever they feel the need to do the substance or staying away from potentially, dangerous situations, like going to party where alcohol is available. With therapy, the individual gains more confidence in his/her own abilities rather than depending on the substance for facing life situations. In addition to this, they also start enjoying their life without the substance. Both the patient and his/her family play an important part in this process hence they are educated about it and are advised regarding appropriate ways of ensuring sobriety for the patient.

4. Alcoholics anonymous (aa): it is a self-hellp group in which ex-alcoholics come together and share their experiences, for instance how they got into drinking, how it affected their life and now how they are maintaining their sobriety. These are mostly weekly sessions and have been found to be very effective in supporting the recovery of alcoholics to stay motivated and be clean without the use of alcohol. Similar to aa, there is na (narcotics anonymous for drug addicts) and al-anon (for the family members and friends of problem drinkers).

5. Yoga and exercise: a healthy daily routine with yoga or regular exercise promotes feelings of general well-being and ensures healthy mind and body. It detoxifies the body faster and even helps in recovering from the damage caused due to excessive substance use.

6. Social skill training: an important aspect for being away from drugs/alcohol is the ability to say no to such offers from others. Assertive behaviour, healthy communication pattern and good problem solving ability are skills that are taught to assist the person to stay healthy without feeling the need to take the substance.

One of the simplest, yet very powerful principles of staying healthy is'one day at a time! instead of making any long-term plans for staying sober, which might seem over-whelming and extremely difficult, just plan for that very day and decide to be clean without the substance.

Addiction: Signs and Symptoms

While we all know substance abuse is a social issue and learning that a loved one is affected by the problem can be nearly heart-breaking. It is definitely not something that can be easily accepted. At the same time, the affected individual needs all your love and attention and more importantly support to get through the situation. It is important to not show anger or frustration at the person but to empathize and help them get out of the situation. 

Read on to know some of the ways in which you can play an active role in supporting your loved one under such circumstances. This involves both of you coping with the situation at hand, as well as helping the person come out of the abuse. 

Educate yourself: When you are trying to help a person, you should know in detail about the substance that was being used and its ill effects. This gives you greater credibility, unlike the person who got carried with the happy feeling it gave and got into abuse. 
Ensure safety: This is both for the affected individual and yourself. With the required substance not being available, the person could look at harming either self or others, especially ones who are trying to get them out of the abuse. Though the intent is to help, they are looked at as people who are depriving the feel-good feeling produced by the substance, which is no longer easily available. Therefore, ensure safety. 
Talk openly: In the beginning, be a good listener. Once you get their confidence, make them understand that the entire situation is making you upset and perhaps angry or frustrated too. Get them to focus on your proposal of getting out of the habit together. If they are willing then this can ensure greater success in quitting the habit. Get to understand how exactly the habit developed including the people responsible for it, the circumstances leading to it, and the various chemicals that were used. The duration and frequency are also important. Tell them it is okay and that you will both get out of it with each other s support. 
Participate in therapy sessions: Individual counseling will work effectively for the primary client, but it is also important for family members to get involved. The counselor also would need support beyond the few counseling hours for completely getting rid of an individual s habit. Therapy can help you learn how to manage the issues back at home. 
Find your  me-time : With all that is going on, you will need some time for yourself to just be. Eat well, stick to your workouts, sleep well, keep your friends, and make time for your hobbies. These will ensure you are in good shape to support the affected individual. It is not possible for you to help another person when you are not in great shape yourself.

Substance Abuse - How Should You Cope With Someone Going Through It?

In the modern day lifestyle, it is extremely difficult to be stress free. Even a tiny situation like losing your pen to a something like meeting a deadline at work can cause stress. Stress acts like a catalyst to different diseases like high cholesterol, hypertension, cardiac diseases, etc. You cannot avoid stress, but what you can do is help yourself fight it; and you can actually fight stress with the help of food as well. Here are a few food items which will help you with your fight against stress:

1. Chocolate: Chocolate is one of the best stress busters. It contains magnesium, phenyl ethyl amine and carbohydrates, all of which help lift your spirits. Chocolate helps in the reduction of stress hormones, helping you to relax.

2. Coffee: Coffee helps your brain signal the production of BDNF (a brain derived protein), which helps to keep your brain cells healthy. A low level of BDNF can cause a lot of stress and depression. Coffee triggers many neurotransmitters, which control your mood changes; so may be a cup or two of coffee will help your to be chirpier.

3. Green leafy vegetables: All green leafy vegetables like spinach contain a high quantity of magnesium. Magnesium prevents headaches and fatigue, which in turn reduces stress.

4. Black Tea: Black tea can relieve you of stress, quicker than any other food item. Black tea reduces the amount of cortisol, a hormone which causes stress, and gives you a feeling of calmness.

5. Milk: Milk contains calcium, which is known to ease anxiety and control sudden mood swings related to PMS or post menstrual stress.

6. Bananas: Bananas have a huge content of dopamine, which is a natural chemical that works towards boosting your mood. This is the same chemical released in your body after a session of working out. Bananas also have a lot of potassium and B group vitamins which work towards soothing your nervous system and a lot of magnesium which brings in positivity to your mood.

7. Almonds: Almonds are rich in vitamin E and group B vitamins, which will help you to be more resilient when you are depressed or anxious.

So if you are stressed out, pop in a few almonds or have a cup of tea, and release your stress.

7 Foods That Fight Stress

5 awesome Bill Gates personality traits you can help your child pick up

Do you want to know what makes Bill Gates not just a mega-successful businessman but also a great human being? Well apart from outstanding business chops and an IQ of 160 of course. It is his attitude to life in general. If you want to see your child touch the peak of success personally and professionally, the apple of your eye should have certain integral personality traits. Here’s how you can effectively imbibe them in him/her. And there’s no better day to get started than today, the Microsoft founder’s Birthday!

1. Make your child a fighter.
We’ve often heard Bill Gates exhorting people to not give up despite the odds against them. “Life is not fair, get used to it” is his golden mantra. When your child seems down and beaten, always be there to support and encourage him, just like Gates’ parents were there to nurture his dream of computer programming from their club’s funds.

2. Inculcate traits of sensitivity and warmth.
A life lesson Gates champions is that of giving back to the society through his notable charitable endeavours such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. So how do you teach your child to realise his dream in this highly competitive world without losing his compassion? The answer is simple; encourage your child to perform small, daily acts of kindness like donating part of his pocket money, helping an elderly to cross the road or feeding the poor.

3. ‘No’ to shortcuts. ‘yes’ to patience and honesty.
Bill Gates is a strong believer of hard work. He’ll tell you that you need to work hard to realise your dream with shortcuts being a no-go. If your child is tempted to indulge in shortcuts, do not hesitate to gently admonish him. To be patient and honest consistently is hard even for us adults. Nevertheless, make yourself a role model for your child.

4. Stay humble.
One of the reasons behind the immense success of Microsoft’s founder is that he sees great opportunities even in the smallest and lowliest of work. “Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity” He’s famously been quoted time and again. If you want your child to climb the ladders of success like this monumental man encourage him to get his hands dirty. You could begin with getting him to help out in household chores to get your point across.

5. Learn to learn from your mistakes.
The man of wisdom strongly advises to teach your child to learn from his mistakes. Whenever your child does something wrong, give him some time and space to understand his mistakes so that the lessons learnt remain with him for life. If the lesson turns out to be positive then the mistake made was worth it. In time, your little tyke will no longer depend on you or others to correct his mistakes. We’ll be looking at a self-sufficient person in his own right.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.


Happy Birthday, Bill Gates! Top 5 Gates’ personality traits your child can pick up

Anger is an emotion found in every human being. There is nothing wrong with being angry. However, if it gets out of hand there might be serious consequences. Knowing a few things about anger management might help the next time you are struggling to manage anger. 

The Wrong Approach
Before knowing, what are the right things to do, it is necessary to know what doesn t work well. This will give a better insight on anger management. 

Often, we think suppressing anger might be the right thing to do. But, it is not. Trying not to react to a situation and keeping it under wraps, might affect your health and can even be the root cause of heart disease. However, suppressing it often lessens the intensity of the anger.
Just like suppressing it is not a good idea, venting it out completely is not the right approach as well. Venting might help you to cool down faster later on, but initially, it might hurt the other person and also have a negative impact on health. Venting anger occasionally will also make the person aggressive in nature.
Thinking or using words like always, never, should/shouldn t, must/mustn t do not usually help. Thinking about  he should never talk to me like that  or  they are always being unfair to me , brings about negativity and doesn t help in calming down.
The Right Approach

Counting to 10, the age old approach to anger management often helps in cooling down and giving a clear perspective. When we are angry, we end up saying and doing things we don t mean to. Counting gives us some time and helps us calm down a bit.
Breathe slowly when you are angry, say experts.  Instead of talking or reacting to the situation, just breathe in and out slowly. When you breathe out more, your body will calm down and make you relax.
Talk to someone who understands you when you are angry. Instead of venting out or suppressing it, talk it out with a friend or a family member. Tell them your feelings and why you are angry. This will help you a lot in relaxing. It works as a counselling session.
To manage anger, in the long run, one should always lead a healthy lifestyle. It means not just having a healthy diet, but also having proper sleep, not being stressed about anything, doing exercise, etc. 
Doing something creative often takes your mind away from angry feelings. Join a dance class, an art workshop, start keeping a journal, it will definitely help in the long run.
Leave the place immediately for few moments and drink water slowly when angry. Don't prolong the anger, come back and start conversation normally.

Anger Management - What Works and What Doesn't

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