Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

Stuttering is a type of speech disorder wherein, a person speaks slower than normal. It is quite  common in the age group of 3 to 8. The relationship between stress and stuttering has been pondered over for decades now. A lot of people seem to believe that stress and stuttering are co-related. On the contrary, recent studies show that stress is more of a consequence rather than a cause of stuttering. If you take the first theory into consideration, then according to that, children would be the greatest victims of anxiety and stress. But it is seen that the level of stress increases proportionately with the increase in age.

Social anxiety in teenagers increases due to stuttering, when they come across individuals who can speak in a normal pace. This in turn can crush their self confidence and lead them to isolate themselves from social groups and people in general. Hence, it is important to deal with stuttering in the early ages or as and when it occurs. 

Sometimes stuttering can develop due to physical or mental trauma.  Most people with stuttering do not seek therapy for it because they might not think of it to be too severe. Little do they realise that a simple process of speech therapy can help them overcome this disability and rejuvenate their level of self-confidence.

It has also come to light, that people with relapse in stuttering post therapy has shown a three-fold increase in anxiety levels than normal. Hence we cannot ignore the strong relationship between stress and stuttering. So from the above evidence, it is safe to conclude that social anxiety or stress develops as a result of chronic stuttering.

How to deal with stress related to stuttering?

Seeking help is a great start to tackle your disability. If your stuttering is prominent enough to warrant therapy, you must seek professional help for the same. You must also learn to control your anxiety by dismissing any anxious thought or make sincere efforts in controlling physical anxiety.

You can also try to increase your social skills by participating in events, such as public speaking that can reduce your stress levels and make yourself more confident about yourself. One must also remember that a person is defined by what he does rather than what he says. So never let a minor disability come in the way of your self worth!

Stress and Stuttering - How to Deal with It?

Drinking too much alcohol has its effects and these are manifested morning after, called as a hangover. Although it affects different people differently, anxiety, dizziness, headache, sensitivity, fatigue and accelerated heart beat are common symptoms.

Here are 5 easy ways to get rid of hangover-

1) Hydrate: Since alcohol causes dehydration, it becomes imperative to drink lots of water to rehydrate your body. It dilutes the toxins left in your body. You can also add electrolyte replenishing sports drinks. Avoid Tea/Coffee or other dehydrating beverages.

2) Go Lemons: Lemons help in reducing effects such as dizziness, muscle pain, sensitivity to light and sound. It also rebalances the body by controlling the blood sugar level and adjusting the pH level. Add Honey helps counter the side effects too.

3) Have Tomato Juice:  Tomato Juice contains fructose, a type of sugar that supplements elimination of alcohol from the body quickly. Tomato is rich in mineral, vitamins and enzymes that help the body in recovering.

4) Eat Banana:  excessive drinking makes you lose lots of potassium. Having bananas replenishes potassium quickly and also restores other electrolytes. Bananas calm the stomach and boost your energy levels.

5) Have Toast &amp; Egg: Having few slices of toast with an egg can help in more ways than one. The carbohydrates in toast reverse the depletion. Carbon in the burnt part of the toast acts like a filter by removing impurities. Egg provides cysteine that breaks alcohol down and reduces toxins in the body.

Click on consult privately to ask me any follow-up questions on this.

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Overcome Hangovers - 5 Best Ways


7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

There are few things I hear over and over again from students:

How they are studying for so many in a day
How they do not have even time for anything else in their life due to study pressure
How they are sleep deprived
How much they are stressed
And finally, afterall the sacrifices and hard work, their exam performance is not what they expect.
Here are few tips to study smart, improve your grades and yet have a life!
We all know that 2 hours of focused study will be much more productive than 4 hours of distracted study. And, the good news is that concentration is a mental skill that you can develop and improve. There are two ways to improve your concentration:

First, work on raising your brain's natural ability to concentrate or in other words, learn to increase your attention span.
Second, adjust the environment around you to make concentrating easier.
Improving your concentration takes a little time and effort, but it is worth it. In my personal experience with students, I have seen noticeable improvement in relatively short time.

A. Ideas for daily concentration boosting habits include

Mindfulness meditation: Many studies confirm that 20 minutes of meditation or more per day improves concentration and attention span. Mindfulness meditation, where one focuses on one's breathing,  is one of the simplest way of meditation. Start with ten minutes in the morning and ten minutes before bed. To begin with you may try a guided meditation. One can easily find audios for guided meditation online.
Proper sleep: I am sorry to say this. Pulling all nighters will not help with your grade. Unless you are getting sufficient restful sleep, you are not going to be as mentally focused as you could be to study as well as answer questions in exams.
Food for your Brain: The more you use certain skills, the more they are reinforced in the brain. So it makes sense that playing concentration games and games that require you to focus will improve your concentration ability. You need to be consistent in this. Play for about 10 to 20 minutes each day. Have fun, and get the benefits but remember not to spend more than 20 minutes a day. Your goal is to improve your concentration and not just keep scoring higher in the game! Try Lumosity and use only free version this will help you restrict your daily play time to 20 minutes and have maximum benefit.
Eat healthier: Your brain needs the proper nutrients to allow you to focus. Eat more vegetables and fruits and avoid consumption of junk food as much as possible. Instead, you could keep some nuts such as walnuts, almond or peanuts as in between munches. Lot of research has now proven that sugar is very harmful for our health. Reduce sugar and refined white flour in your diet as much as you could.  
Exercise: It is helpful in both reducing stress and increasing energy and focus. At least 20 minutes a day would go a long way. Going for a short jog of 20 minutes will make next 4 to 5 hours of study very efficient.
B. Optimize your mental state & environment

In addition to building the habits described above into your daily routine; also adjust your environment and your current mental state to improve your concentration when studying.

Create a study space: Your brain loves routine. Create a place where all you do is study. An obvious choice is a secluded desk of some kind, but the trick is to make sure you only study in that spot. Studying in bed is a bad habit, for example, because your body is trained to want to sleep once you get into bed.
Remove distractions: Turn off the ringer on your phone and take other steps to prevent interruptions. Don't study with the television on or with radio playing. Some studies have shown that soft instrumental music (no vocals) can help improve your concentration.
Reduce background noises: If you have to study or work in an environment where it is too loud (classroom or open space) or too quiet (such as at home or at a library) you can get easily distracted by outside influences. With the right amount of background noise you can actually block out distractions and enhance your creative thinking.
Use timer: Set a time limit when you need to study new material. For example, let's say you want to read one chapter in a book (and remember it). Decide in advance that you can have 45 minutes to read the chapter, and 15 minutes to review it. Set a timer to keep yourself honest, then pace yourself to keep within the allotted time.
Stay motivated: If you see studying as burden, it's hard to concentrate. One way to stay motivated is to set up a reward system. Tell yourself you have to earn that hour of watching your favorite show later in the evening by first completing 2-3 hours of intense studying. That way, even if the material is dry, you have the reward to look forward to.
Take breaks: Take a break every two hours. Your mental energy will begin to decline after a long period of study. So every two hours or so, take a ten-minutes break. Walk around, eat a light snack, or just stare at the wall to relax your mind.
Concentrating is the first step to learning anything new. It only makes sense that if you improve your concentration, your memory will improve also.

How an expert can help?
If you want to get individualized expert opinion about how you are studying currently and what ways you can improve; you can always consult the expert. Once he/she knows what your current study methods are, they will be able to give you specific tips to improve upon. Most likely once you incorporate those tips you will be spending less time studying and your grades will improve. That's what is studying smarter and not harder means!!

Ways to Study Smarter   Not Harder!

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder which develops due to a terrifying traumatic incident. Traumatic events like violent personal assaults, man-made disasters, accidents, military combat etc. can trigger PTSD. 

What are the symptoms of PTSD?
People with PTSD mostly re-experience the whole incident repeatedly in the form of flashback episodes and nightmares. This happens more when they are exposed to the events or objects which are reminiscent of the trauma. The other symptoms are emotional numbness, sleep disturbances, depression, anxiety and irritability leading to outbursts of anger on others. People with PTSD feel intense guilt mostly. Anniversaries of such an event can also trigger symptoms of PTSD. When these symptoms last for more than a month, the person is diagnosed with PTSD.

Who will most likely develop PTSD?
You do not need to be in the military to suffer from PTSD. People who have suffered child abuse during school, who have had traumatic experiences are more likely to develop the condition. Other factors that may cause PTSD are still under research.

When does PTSD occur?
PTSD can occur at any age, given the intensity and frequency of symptoms. The symptoms typically are seen within 3 months post a traumatic event, although it may not begin until next year. Once the PTSD symptoms appear, the severity and duration of the illness may vary.

What are the treatments available for PTSD?
Cognitive-behavioral therapy, group therapy, and exposure therapy have been very effective in treating PTSD where the patient gradually and repeatedly relives the frightening experience under controlled surroundings which helps him/her work through the trauma. Medicines also help ease associated symptoms such as depression and anxiety.

Do other illnesses accompany PTSD?
PTSD can present with many associated conditions like depression, alcohol or substance abuse, anxiety disorder etc. Certain symptoms like headaches, gastrointestinal ailments, immune system issues, dizziness, chest pain or discomfort in other parts of the body are common. To treat PTSD entirely, it is necessary to take these symptoms into consideration as well.

PTSD is a difficult condition to deal with. If you or someone you know happens to suffer from PTSD, the first thing is to seek help. Having PTSD does not make you weak. All you need is a little help and support from your family and friends, to make you feel better. Happy Mind, Healthy You!

5 Interesting Facts About Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!

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