Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Alcoholism is a severe problem, which can make a person's life miserable and also make the society detest him. The aim of treatment for alcoholism is abstinence or staying away from alcohol use. The treatment of alcoholism can only begin when an alcoholic accepts the problem and realizes that he must get rid of the habit for his own good and the good of his loved ones.

There are three main stages in the treatment of alcoholism:

1. Detoxification: Detoxification is the first step required after a person stops using alcohol. The detox phase may include seizures, hallucinations and delirium tremens. The patient must be kept under proper observation.
2. Rehabilitation: This step includes proper counseling and medications to provide the person with skills and motivation to remain sober. This can be done by making him an inpatient or outpatient, depending on the condition of the patient.
3. Maintaining sobriety: This is the most important step where a person's self-will is tested. He needs to stay away from alcohol after getting out of rehabilitation for which he requires support. Meetings conducted by the Alcoholic Anonymous should be attended regularly by a recovering alcoholic.

For people in the early stage of alcoholism, discontinuing alcohol may cause several withdrawal symptoms such as poor sleep and anxiety. For long term alcoholics, severe withdrawal symptoms are experienced, which include shaking of the body, spasms, hallucinations and panic.

Medication
Several medicines may be required in the recovery period of an alcoholic.
Anti-anxiety medicines such as benzodiazepines are used for treating withdrawal symptoms like poor sleep. The medicines are usually used in the detoxification period. After this phase, they are discontinued.
For maintaining sobriety and to abstain from alcohol, several medicines are given to recovering alcoholics. A drug known as disulfiram is used after the completion of the detox period. This medicine reacts with alcohol metabolism and causes a person to vomit, become confused, have blurry vision and experience difficulties in breathing after consuming alcohol.

A medicine called naltrexone may be used for reducing alcohol craving. It can be prescribed even when a person drinks. It is given in the form of an injection. Antidepressants are also given to patients to reduce anxiety and depression.

Other ways to deal with alcoholism
Several other instructions must be strictly followed by a recovering alcoholic to avoid relapse. They are as follows:
1. People and places related to drinking should be avoided, and a person should make new nonalcoholic friends.
2. Support groups and AA meeting must be attended regularly for motivation.
3. Dependence on alcohol should be eliminated by starting different activities and getting involved in things.

Alcoholism is a severe problem, which may lead to death in case of extremities. Alcoholism can ruin a person's life, and proper measures must be taken to eliminate alcoholism.

Ways to Deal With Alcoholism

Reducing, limiting or stopping the intake of alcohol can be a bumpy road. Impossible as it may seem, it is possible to recover from alcoholism with proper care and support. Recovery being a gradual process, denial often plays a spoilsport. The first step is to accept that alcohol abuse is occurring and take the necessary steps to remedy it. 

Here is a list of a few steps that psychologists suggest can get rid of alcoholism:

Doing a cost-benefit analysis: The first thing a psychologist suggest is to do a cost-benefit analysis. For instance, the benefits of drinking could be having fun, a possible way to relax, forgetting about the problem at hand etc. On the other hand, the benefits of not drinking could be a better state of physical and mental well-being, improving relationships, having more time and energy to lead a healthy life etc. Similarly, the cost of drinking could be problems in relationships, depression, anxiousness, poor performance at work etc. The cost of not drinking, on the other hand, could be finding other solutions to deal with problems, losing drinking buddies, taking up more responsibilities etc.
Setting goals: The next step is to set goals pertaining to giving up alcohol for good. It is important to be realistic while doing this. The goal should be specific and precise in nature. For instance, the goal could be writing the date of quitting alcohol in a personal diary or something such as drinking a certain amount of alcohol during weekdays and weekends etc. It is important to announce or share the goal with dear ones. It helps to reduce temptations and avoid bad influences.
Cutting back drinking or quitting at one go: The next step is to work towards the goal. Once the goal is set, it must be adhered to. Keeping a personal diary to measure everyday drinking goes a long way in quantifying and ultimately limiting it. Instead of going out and drinking with buddies, drinking at home could help curb alcohol intake. Drinking slowly is also helpful when trying to quit alcohol.
Get sober safely: While some people can give up drinking over-night, some need medical and psychological assistance to quit. Either way, it makes sense to seek expert advice while quitting alcohol. Suddenly quitting alcohol can result in withdrawal symptoms. Nausea, headache, anxiety, sweating, shaking, elevated heartbeat etc. are some of the withdrawal symptoms. It is possible to counter these symptoms medically.
Change in lifestyle: While the body gets used to an absence of alcohol, it is necessary that certain lifestyle changes are made. For instance, daily exercise, building a good support network, developing a new interest, eating healthy food, meditation etc. helps a person to quickly get used to life without alcohol.

De- Addiction - 5 Things Your Psychiatrist Will Suggest!

Is there anybody you know who uses internet excessively in a day, like for playing video games, visiting porn sites, for online shopping, using Facebook or visiting different chatting sites again and again? Is his or her excessive internet usage interfering with daily life, interpersonal relationships, work, school, etc.? If the answer is yes, then maybe he or she is suffering from internet addiction.

Internet addiction is a growing social issue which is being debated worldwide. Internet has become an inseparable part of our daily living. Problematic use of internet can lead us to various mental and physical problems. Surveys in the United States and Europe have indicated alarming prevalence rates between 1.5 and8.2percentages respectively.There are some criteria to classify and diagnose internet addiction disorder. 

The following 5 criteria are required to diagnose internet addiction:

The individual remain preoccupied with the internet (thinks about previous online activity or anticipate next online session)

Needs to use internet with increased amounts of time in order to achieve satisfaction.

Has made unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop internet use.

Is restless, moody, depressed, or irritable when attempting to cut down or stop internet use.

Has stayed online longer than originally intended.

Additionally, at least one of the following must be present:

Risked the loss of a significant relationship, job, educational or career opportunity because of the internet.

Lying to conceal the extent of involvement with the internet.

Use internet as a way of escaping from problems or of relieving a dysphoric mood (like; feelings of helplessness, guilt, anxiety, depression)

There are different models available to explain the causal factor of internet addiction disorder. A comprehensive model of the development and maintenance of internet addiction by Winkler & Dorsing which takes into account socio-cultural factors, biological vulnerabilities like genetic factors, abnormalities in neurochemical processes, psychological predispositions and specific attributes of the internet to explain excessive engagement in internet activities.

Apart from the above discussed points, there are two significant psychological issues commonly seen in this group; one is a strong tendency to escape from the reality is there among internet addicts. These individuals find difficulty in facing the real world may be due to certain conflict issues which evoke stress and anxiety in them. Involvement with technology and internet becomes a way out to get rid of the discomfort. Another psychological issue is the tendency to control the environment. Humans have a tendency to get a control over everything and it is a fact that we can't control other persons and situations. Internet addicts are involved in this compulsive behaviour may be because it is easy to get a control of technology and internet than the real world which is more threatening for them.

Impact of problematic usage of internet on social relationships has become alarming nowadays. The habit of surfing the internet continuously can be destructive indirectly. Even it has been seen that people drift away to the point that he/she cannot interact with people. Constant preoccupation with internet is damaging one s social skills. People are losing touch with their life and their self-identity. Nowadays people don t take effort to establish face to face conversations, as many easy ways are available over internet, like chat messengers, email, etc. The constant effects of addiction to internet can lead an individual to such situations that involve various mental and behavioural problems like. Depression, anxiety, substance abuse, etc. The absence of social interaction also can lead to various physical effects on individual s brain chemistry and the general physical health.

There has been lots of debate on which treatment modality is effective for the treatment of Internet Addiction Disorder. In many cases, multimodal treatments have been employed. It has been seen that there are lots of underlying psychological problems found in internet addicts, like anxiety, depression, etc. In such cases medications are also considered to be effective.

Apart from pharmacological interventions, different psychotherapeutic models are found to be very helpful in treating internet addiction like cognitive therapy, behaviour therapy, art therapy, family therapy, skill building training, etc. Studies have found cognitive behavioural therapy, in particular, is very effective and can bring better outcome among this group.

Internet Addiction - A Thriving Issue!

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

Neurological disorders are an enigmatic bunch. There are various ongoing researches to identify the exact cause and how to treat them. While some argue that schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder, others do not agree with it and debate that the origin is yet to be identified and the factors which produce it are yet to be identified.

Factors supporting it to be a brain disease are listed below.

Scan images (MRI and PET scans) of people who have had schizophrenia are different and have a reduced volume of grey matter, especially in the frontal and temporal lobes. In some people, this loss could be as high as 25%. Serial images have shown that the loss begins in the outer (parietal) region and gradually spreads to the rest of the brain. There is a strong correlation between the extent of this grey matter loss and the severity of the symptoms more the loss, worse the symptoms. Severe symptoms include hearing voices, psychotic thoughts, delusions, hallucinations and severe depression. This grey matter reduction does not depend on whether the person has undergone treatment or not for the condition. 

The counter argument is that grey matter loss is not seen in patients with schizophrenia alone. A number of neurological disorders, including normal ageing, manifest as grey matter loss on the scan images. Also, another consoling news is that this grey matter loss is completely reversible.

The way neurotransmitters respond to stimuli in people with schizophrenia is also slightly different. There are two variations to this debate: that schizophrenia is caused by excessive amounts of dopamine or increased sensitivity to dopamine. There are two proofs for this hypothesis first, dopamine suppressants are useful as antipsychotic drugs and secondly drugs which produce the same effect as dopamine can cause hallucinations similar to those seen in schizophrenics. There could be other neurotransmitters involved too, but the dopamine connection is more strongly established.

The electrical activity of the brain as seen in EEG is very different and abnormal in schizophrenic people. This reduced brain activity is another indication of the fact that schizophrenia is another brain disorder. There is also a strong genetic component to schizophrenia. Family history correlation is also very strong. The correlation extends to the point that where there is a neurologic disorder in the first-degree relatives, the chances of developing schizophrenia is increased.

There are specific genes, mutations of which are also attributed to schizophrenia. While the risk factors are in place (as mentioned above), the environmental conditions (brain infections, head trauma, family/social stressors and toxins can all lead to the manifestation of the symptoms. With medications and support therapy, both prevention and symptom management are possible.

Schizophrenia - Is It Really a Brain Disease?

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