Do you have someone who is passive-aggressive in your life? Perhaps your parents, your siblings, your partner or your friends? It can be difficult to handle such a person. When two people, who are having a healthy relationship with each other are angry with each other, they show anger, they say that they are upset, they discuss things and sort things out. There are so many different ways to express anger. But when it comes to a person with passive-aggressive behaviour, it is not going to be the same when they are angry. This is basically a way to express anger indirectly, as they are unable to or uncomfortable to express their feelings and anger openly.

They need help, and it is you who will be able to help them get out of this pain or anger. Here are six steps to changing someone's passive-aggressive behaviour:

When there is an argument going on between both of you or when one of you is angry, do not say something or do something negative. This will make them shut down completely and they will never open up. It may also happen that the situation gets worse. So, take some time and calm down.
Do not go for any guesswork. You are trying to help someone to get over his/her passive-aggressive behaviour. You need to know what they actually feel. So, ask them how they feel and if they have anything to say about it. This can help them open up.
Brainstorming can be one of the best steps. Yes, if you think that you often argue on some common point, then you need to come up with a solution for it first. Ask for their opinion, make a list of all the points and try to make it as detailed as possible.
Check out the pros and cons of your opinions. When you are done with brainstorming, you need to consider each opinion or decision you made in order to make sure that both of you are comfortable with it.
Choose a win-win situation. In other words, pick up those solutions which make both of you happy.
Execute your opinion or plan and evaluate if it is working for you. If plan A does not work for you, then you can still consider the other options that you left behind to draft a plan B.
Communication is very important and when you are able to communicate well, you will be able to get what you actually need. You should start to think that your feelings are valid and learn to enjoy how good it feels when others value your feelings. Open up and talk!

Passive Aggressive Nature - 6 Things You Can Do To Help!

A bad habit could range from smoking or drinking to knuckle breaking or nail biting. A bad habit is one that causes or is likely to cause you or the others in your life, harm. Here are eight steps that can help you break your bad habit:

Try to understand your habit: The most important thing to break a bad habit is to know it first. In case that some habit is hurting you then you certainly need to let go of it. You initially need to set your mind about bringing an end to that habit. It is also important to understand how this habit of yours is hurting you or the ones around you.
Change your thinking: Even when we get to know we have some unfortunate habit, more often than not we are not prepared to separate it since we have practised that habit since a long time and it is by all accounts intense to break that one. We have to change our reasoning about the habit and take a look at it in negative viewpoints since a thing having negative perspectives will be simpler to quit.
Begin small: In case that you have a negative behaviour pattern since quite a while then go slow to break it down in light of the fact that a bad habit is hard to separate at once. Try not to attempt to do everything at once since you would not have the capacity to do as such.
Make tiny improvements: Try not to make extreme improvements to your habit since it is your habit and it will some way or another takes its time to break. Rather make little improvements with the goal that it will not aggravate you and soon you will encounter a noteworthy change in your behaviour and afterwards you will separate the habit totally on a more lasting basis.
Change your environment: A few habits are built because of the environment we live in. The steady surrounding makes us construct that habit in a manner that it gets stronger day by day. So in case that you understand that some negative behaviour patterns have overtaken your life and are not going down, attempt to change your surroundings.
Keep a check: Simply going ahead to bring an end to any habit will not give you appropriate results. Keeping a survey helps you in checking on how much of your bad habit you have defeated and how far you are from breaking it completely.
Reward yourself: Offer yourself a reward each time you see that you have stopped behaving in a certain way, or practising a certain habit. This goes a long way in motivating the individual to strive towards that end goal of breaking the habit completely.

Want to Break a Bad Habit - 7 Steps You Must Follow!

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder characterized by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image and behaviour. This often results in impulsive actions and problems in relationships and at work. You may experience intense episodes of various emotions like anger, depression and anxiety that may last for a few hours to a few days.

Diagnosis of BPD
If you experience the following 10 symptoms for a long time or if they have had a huge impact on your daily life, you may say that you are suffering from BPD:

Feeling of being abandoned. You feel that people may abandon you and are constantly worried about that. You would do anything to stop it.
Frequent mood swings. You experience intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days. E.g. You suddenly start feeling low and depressed after feeling very happy and confident for a while.
Lack of identity. You don t know who you are and do not have a strong sense of your being.
Unable to sustain relationships. You find it very hard to retain relationships and make new ones.
You feel empty from within all the time.
Make impulsive decisions and show sudden reactions. You do things to harm yourself like binge eating, drug abuse or driving dangerously.
You inflict pain on yourself or have suicidal feelings.
You have anger issues which are very difficult to control.
You get paranoid or dissociate when you re stressed.
You experience all your emotions very intensely be it anger, happiness or sadness.
Self-Care - How can you help yourself?
If you start feeling overwhelmed, focus on one feeling at a time. It will help channelize your energy and thoughts into finding a solution for that emotion. Different therapies help different people at different times. You are the best judge to decide what benefits you the most.

Follow these tips to get through the various emotions that you may experience.

When you are angry and frustrated
Rip a newspaper
Hit a pillow
Listen to your favourite music
Go for a walk or do some vigorous exercise
When you are depressed and lonely
Wrap yourself in a blanket and watch your favourite movie or TV show.
Write all the negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear the paper.
Use positive affirmations to comfort yourself.
Cuddle a pillow/pet/soft toy
When you are tensed and anxious 
Try to shift your focus to something else like music, yoga or meditation.
Take a deep breath, use relaxation techniques and focus on your breaths.
Take a warm bath to help soothe your mood.
When you want to harm yourself
Rub ice over the parts where you want to hurt yourself.
Take a cold-water bath to cool yourself.



Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Tips To Help You Diagnose The Problem!

6 Easy ways to not let your anger get the better of you

Although a natural emotion, anger needs to be managed at all times so that it doesn’t get out of control and cause problems in your life. Whether at home, work or in your relationships, uncontrolled anger can affect your general life quality. However, controlling your anger comes with the benefit of improving your overall health, while reducing stress levels. 

Here are some of the ways that you could learn to gain control on your temper:

1. Practice deep breathing
Instead of allowing your anger to get out of control, every time you start feeling angry, get down to practicing some simple breathing techniques to calm your tense body and mind. Here’s what you should do when enraged:
- Take slow, but deep breaths to counteract the stress reaction that usually accompanies anger
- Slowly repeat a calming word or phrase, which could be “relax”, “take it easy” or “I am in control of my anger”
- Work on your muscles by tightening and then relaxing them

2. Count from 1 to 100 or 100 to 1
Counting numbers can prevent you from flying off the handle. It takes your mind away from the cause of your anger and prevents you from mulling over the situation. The act of counting also provides you with the time to delay the impulsive behaviour that often follows the emotion. You can even make this more effective by breathing in slowly and deeply whenever you start on a 
new number. 

3. Focus on the present
Whenever you’re angry, don’t look back at the past. By doing so, you may end up bringing past grievances into your present situation, while holding others responsible for feeling how and what you feel. Instead focus your attention on what you can do in the present to work out the issue. 

4. Relax tight muscles
Another tip that can help you to cool down fast is a gentle massage of the areas of tension, which are usually the shoulders, neck and scalp. For the shoulders, simply rotate them to relax tight muscles. To release the tension that gets built up in your neck and head region, perform a simple scalp massage to improve blood circulation and consequently, relax your mind. 

5. Listen to music
Listening to music can soothe frayed nerves and calm you down. It works by helping you to sieve through the feelings of anger and disappointment in a constructive manner.  

6. Change of situation
Taking yourself away from the source of anger, whether it’s the place or the person concerned, is an anger management skill that you can use to calm yourself. To do this, you can either close your eyes and transport yourself to a quiet and peaceful place or simply walk away to let your anger fizzle out. 



6 Doable Ways to Control Your ANGER and Not Let it Control You!

Many people enjoy having alcohol on the weekends after long working hours and hectic weekdays. There are many people who consume alcohol to deal with stress or simply because they enjoy it. But consuming alcohol very often, especially every day can lead to many health issues. Medical experts call alcohol a toxin that affects each and every organ of the consumer s body and disturb its processing. The individual s body has to go through the recovery process every time after its consumption. Giving up alcohol is not easy, especially for the people who tend to consume it every day. Almost everyone is aware of how alcohol affects our mind and body but not everyone is aware of what happens when they give it up only if for a month or even lessen their consumption.

What Happens to Body When You Stop Drinking Alcohol?

One might not believe how fast his/ her system improves when he/ she stops drinking. They can actually see and feel the changes in their life pattern.

Quitting alcohol helps in losing weight as the body can now focus on burning other extra calories.

Drinking hinders one s sleeping pattern. Alcohol drops the production of melatonin hormone, responsible for controlling the sleep pattern, which affects the quality of one s sleep and escalates the production of adenosine in the body. This disturbance in the chemical production within the body affects the sleeping pattern. The alcohol consumer may suddenly wake up in the night or feel sleepy at work. Giving up alcohol helps one get better sleep making their days more productive and restful.

The liver is responsible to clean the toxins out of the body, including alcohol. Drinking alcohol affects the liver severely over time. It can cause many liver issues such as fatty liver disease, liver inflammation, cirrhosis, and liver failure. Intake of alcohol can disturb the digestive system as well by overproducing the gastric acid and damaging the gastrointestinal tract. Giving up on alcohol can improve digestion and organ functions.

Alcohol leads to diuresis (increased urine production). Consumption of alcohol drop the level of Antidiuretic Hormone (ADH) that leads to the increased urine production and less water holding capacity in the body. This can eventually lead to kidney ailments, even its failure. This causes dehydration. When a person quits or decreases the amount of alcohol, his/her body restores the level of ADH to its natural level and the kidneys resume to function in its natural state. This helps the body retain hydration that improves the overall health, including the proper pumping of blood and better kidney function.

Drinking alcohol on a regular basis affects the immune system, making the body more prone to diseases. It can also cause inflammation in the body that can lead to many other health problems. Quitting alcohol can decrease and reverse inflammation and thus improves and strengthens the complete immune system. How One Can Quit Drinking Alcohol? It is not easy for an individual to quit drinking alcohol but a sincere effort is highly desirable.

The very first step towards quitting alcohol is to know that it is unhealthy and can lead to various health issues and even death.

One should then know the benefits of quitting alcohol consumption.

Next step requires determination to reduce the alcohol consumption in unusual quantity, reducing the days of drinking, avoiding parties, and gathering that includes alcohol and to follow upon these processes sincerely.

Another important step is to reduce and avoid interaction with friends and people who consume alcohol, at least till one has not taken a commendable control over his/her drinking habit.

One should not feel ashamed of taking the decision of quitting alcohol and should not hide the fact from his/her friends and family so that they could not force him/her for a drink.

One can go to the rehabilitation centers if it is difficult for him/her to control his/her drinking habits.
Takeaway

Alcohol might help people deal with stress but it also makes them feel more fatigued and affects their overall health. Quitting alcohol is not easy for someone who is habitual of consuming it every other day. However, stopping its consumption even for a small time period can have visible health improvements. One can quit alcohol by reducing its intake over a week or month but if he/she finds it difficult to have control over their desire for consuming alcohol. He/She can also take help from doctors and medical experts who work in the areas of helping people trying to quit alcohol. One should not assume that once he/she gets the taste and habit of alcohol, it is impossible to quit. It is nothing but all about their will power and effort in the desired direction.

Giving Up Alcohol For Just A Month Has Amazing benefits!

Borderline personality disorder (bpd) is a mental illness. A patient suffering from bpd maintains unstable relationships with other people, shows inappropriate emotional reactions and possesses suicidal or self-harm tendencies. It is purely a personality disorder caused due to multiple factors. Patients suffering from bpd may find it difficult to stay alone. They fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life.

It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with bpd.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

The signs of suffering from bpd are listed below:

Intense and frantic effort to avoid abandonment or loneliness
Unstable relationships with people and changing the attitude towards them drastically. It can change from being in immense love with each other to intense hatred.
Developing paranoid thoughts and having dissociative feelings-the patient often lacks the feeling of self and suffers from identity crisis.
Suicidal feelings and attempts
Tendency to cause self harm or destruction by drug abuse, driving irresponsibly or be having unprotected sex
Reflecting intense depression
Chronic boredom
Sudden anger and hostility
Causes for borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder can be caused due to multiple reasons. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.

Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for bpd. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis.

There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose bpd. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Treatment.

The treatment of bpd involves three steps- psychotherapy, medications and support from peer and family. Dialectical behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are used in treating the patient. There are no specific medicines to cure identity crisis, boredom and loneliness. However, other symptoms like mood swings, depression and anxiety can be treated with anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Antipsychotic drugs are also helpful to a certain extent. In extreme cases, hospitalization may be needed.

A Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

Don't wait any longer, manage your Relationship Counsellor online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Relationship Counsellor - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES