
7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Saif and Kareena show you how to bridge the age gap perfectly in relationships

There?s a lot to learn from the love story of the 10th nawab of Pataudi, Saif Ali Khan, and the Bollywood actress, Kareena Kapoor. Despite the 13 year age gap between them, the two have a very strong and mature relationship. So what keeps the two sticking together through thick and thin? here?s how saif and Kareena have bridged the age gap to emerge as a powerful couple.

1. They know that age is just a number

For saif and kareena the 13-year difference is not an issue. They know that what matters, in the end, is not how old you are but the kind of personality you have. Both saif and kareena have a mature personality, and they gel perfectly well with each other. This is the reason why they are able to connect and maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

2. They care about each other?s family

Kareena has a very strong relationship with Sharmila Tagore, Saif?s mother. Not only that, Kareena has also made sure she is on good terms with saif?s children from his previous marriage as well. Accepting each other?s family and past is a very important step in making a relationship work. Not only that, their families act as a support group for them, which helps them going on despite the difference of years between them.

3. They share common interests

Another thing that makes their relationship work is the fact that they share several common interests, which help them in coming closer and making their bond stronger. Saif and Kareena often go on trips together, attend cricket matches together and make it a point to go out for regular romantic dinner dates.

4. They respect each others? views 

Nothing could be more important in a relationship than respecting each other?s decisions. The pataudi family tradition had women changing to Islam after marriage, with even Sharmila Tagore converting after her marriage. However, Kareena did not want to, and Saif fully supported her decision. Even their marriage ceremony was a mishmash of their differing religions. So, if you want your relationship to work, be very open and accepting of each other?s differences and views.


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Saif and Kareena Show How to Bridge the Age Gap Perfectly in Relationships

Get off the mobile and go outside - Are these words being heard more commonly nowadays, than at any other point in time in life? The answer could be frighteningly real as humanity has just stepped in one of the newest forms of a psychiatric disorder. What's worse is that the medical world is divided whether if this should be considered as a disease and separate field to be dedicated to it or simply pass it off as a generation growth that the future has to embrace. 

Let us look a little deeper about the disorder and the serious nature that it weans.

What is internet & phone addiction?
Only recently did Internet addition and phone addition become part of the diagnostic and statistical manual of the mental disorder - Meaning that internet addiction is now effectively considered a psychiatric disorder and there are chances of identifying and treating it using medically approved means. As the name suggests, internet addiction and phone addiction means that the person is using his creative and designated time on the medium when he is no longer required to. Simply put it becomes an obsessive habit on the part of the person to look into the phone and use the internet as a routine activity. Long-term addiction can lead to many psychological factors such as withdrawal symptoms, depression, and general loss of awareness about the surroundings. For most people, the syndrome can be an underlying factor of an even more severe health condition that the person is trying to mask by whiling away his time with the internet and the mobile. Across the people who get affected by it, the common traits are the internet gaming and social media.

The addiction in today s world:
The velocity of the disorder is yet to take on the world. As of now only two countries- South Korea and China have identified the disorder as a disease and treatments are administered. Europe and United States have just categorized it as a disorder and research is being done on it. The general treatment plan that exists now aims to understand the patient first. The psychiatric treatment tries to successfully make a minor bridge between the user and his addiction. From practicing different time of using the internet to suggesting new schedules and goals, the person can be slowly be eased backed into the society. The purpose of the psychiatric treatment is not to block the internet/ mobile usage completely but to limit them. A person is educated to get his satisfaction in other forms like relations ships, outdoor activities than to depend on the internet. Apart from it some depression reducing drugs can also be had at the insistence of the psychiatrist.

Medical Possibilities
Professors argue that Internet addiction and mobile addiction is not exactly a disease. It simply determines an underlying medical condition of a person that needs more treatment. Though still in its early stages the medical world has made it clear that its contribution towards these mental addictions would increase by massive miles within the turn of the decade.

Internet & Phone Addiction - Can It Be A Sign Of A Medical Condition?

Asperger's Syndrome or Asperger's Disorder is a neurotypical condition that affects the development of the child the effects of which continue into adulthood. This condition typically shows up as difficulties faced by the patient when it comes to social interactions as well as other nonverbal means of communication. It should not be confused with autism as the patient has no speech and cognitive development delay. 

Asperger's syndrome can show up as restricted and repetitive patterns in the behaviour of the patient. It lies at the higher end of the autism spectrum and the signs are usually less obvious. Here are a few ways with which you can effectively deal with someone who is suffering from this disorder.

1. Routine: The patient suffering from this condition will need a certain kind of stability as it is very difficult to predict what will happen in the near future or to even plan for it. The best way to tackle this scenario is with the help of a proper routine that can help the patient achieve some kind of control over the situation surrounding him or her so that he or she is better equipped and more capable of handling normal functioning and social situations as well.

2. Information: It is also a good idea to help these patients in looking at and in processing information. While normal people may easily be able to discard insignificant or unimportant information, the brain of the patient suffering from asperger's syndrome does not allow him or her to do so. In many cases, the patient is not able to filter the important and the unimportant information. This can debilitate many functions. So, it is important to be present to help the patient in making decisions and processing information that is actually relevant to his or her functioning.

3. Learning: One of the most crucial things to remember with the Asperger's patient is that they tend to understand and process things when they have a visual presentation rather than being told verbally. So showing them things practically in the proper manner is the right way to help them learn and process situations in a correct way. This will prevent them from doing things in the same old way even when their brains tell them that it will lead to wrong results.

4. Physical Abilities: Poor motor skills as well as lack of proper organisation skills are traits that usually characterise these patients. It is important to make them aware of this during games and activities that require management as well as use of social skills. For example, football and other such activities can be introduced in the routine. This will promote interaction with the team in order to play and enjoy the game.

How to Deal With a Patient Suffering From Asperger's Syndrome?

Chronic health disorders like schizophrenia affect not only the patient, but also the life of their care givers. Though schizophrenia can be treated to improve the patient's quality of life, it cannot be cured. Hence, it falls on the care giver's shoulders to watch out for symptoms of this disease and manage the person and their disorder. What should one do in such a case?

1. Educate yourself: the first step towards looking after a person with schizophrenia is to know the symptoms of the disease. With treatment, these may become better or worse so if you notice any change in the symptoms, bring it to your doctors notice at once.

2. Reduce stress: your goal as a schizophrenic person's caregiver should be to give them a calm environment and boost their confidence. Stress has a negative effect on all people and in schizophrenics this effect is much worse. Hence reduce stress and create an effective support system and structured environment for your loved one.

3. Do not ask the patient to change'his reality: when a person is suffering from schizophrenia, you should not force them to change their behaviour and reality, in order to adjust in the society at large. You should rather support the patient to accept his reality, to be at peace, since there is a very strong genetic component involved in its aetiology. Also, it is important that, both the patient and the family in particular should opt for regular counselling sessions.

4. Regular exercise: schizophrenics need not be cooped up in the house all day. Encourage the patient to go outside and exercise regularly. Exercise reduces stress and produces endorphins that make a person feel energized and happy. This should be complemented by a healthy diet. Minimize the amount of carbs and sugar intake and increase the amounts of omega 3 fatty acids in the patient's diet.

5. Join a support group: joining a support group is a very good idea for both the patient and the caregiver. For the patient, this provides a form of social interaction and for the caregiver is a platform to meet people with similar first hand experiences

6. Encourage treatment: convincing a schizophrenic person to seek treatment can be quite challenging. Suggest treating symptoms of the disorder such as insomnia and lack of energy rather than the disease itself to make the patient feel more comfortable. Give the patient options to choose from to make them feel more in control of the situation.

7. Monitor medication: once the treatment has started, ensure that the patient sticks to the prescription. Maintain a regular schedule by using weekly pill boxes and alarms. Also keep an eye on the possible side effects of these medicines. Ensure that your doctor has a complete list of medicines that the patient takes so that there is no chance of medicines interacting negatively with each other.

8. Prepare for crisis situations: it is always a good idea to have an emergency plan in place. Keep emergency contact details of all the doctors and therapists at hand along with the address and phone number of the closest hospital. Share your situation with friends and family so that in case of an emergency, they can be relied upon to take care of your children and other dependants.

Living with Schizophrenia

Most people will give you a blatant No. And they are quite right to do so. But if you have been a habitual offender who can't unwind without their drink, pregnancy is going to be a big problem. So does the rule stand in all cases? What if you drank when you didn't know you were pregnant yet? What if you had a light drink here and there, will it literally spell disaster? Let's find out.

Contradictory advice everywhere: Most doctors will advice you to stay away completely from alcohol as soon as that first positive emerges in your test. Others may give you a little leeway and let you have an occasional drink. There are friends who'll confess to have cheated during their pregnancy and snuck in a beer or two and say that their kids turned out just fine. There are other friends will scorn on you for even thinking such a thing. Same goes for your relatives. Like all things in pregnancy, random advice will just not work.

How much can you drink? Let's assume that you are confident nothing will happen and want to be adventurous and give it a cautious try. Danish researchers have some good news for you. Some studies have shown that low to moderate consumption of alcohol does not harm the baby. In fact, in 2012, Danish researchers released a highly publicized study that found no major problems in children below 5 years whose mothers had consumed 1- 8 alcoholic drinks a week during pregnancy.

Unfortunately, not all research is made equal. With pregnancy, each mother, each child and progression of each pregnancy is different. It really has to be on a case by case basis and nothing can be taken on face value. Most people will still advise you to completely go off alcohol as there is 'no safe' amount during pregnancy. Some women have a larger quantity of the enzyme that breaks down alcohol. If a woman with lower levels of this enzyme drinks alcohol, it is more likely to harm her unborn child as the alcohol will remain in her bloodstream longer.

How alcohol can affect your child?

A number of disorders that can affect your child when in the womb and even after because of alcohol consumption. These disorders are collectively called 'Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder'. It is characterized by increased risk in miscarriage and stillbirth. It can also result in the baby having low birth weight and increase problems with learning, speech, attention span, language and hyperactivity. Alcohol consumption may also affect girl child and a baby boy differently. While both may turn out to have aggressive and delinquent behaviour, girls are more likely to develop mental health problems too.

If you are unable to give up on alcohol, you need to immediately get professional help to overcome your addiction. Also note that the term 'non-alcoholic' beverage is misleading as they can contain trace amounts of it. Consult a doctor today on which drinks are safe for you.

Alcohol in Pregnancy: Is it Safe?

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