Reducing, limiting or stopping the intake of alcohol can be a bumpy road. Impossible as it may seem, it is possible to recover from alcoholism with proper care and support. Recovery being a gradual process, denial often plays a spoilsport. The first step is to accept that alcohol abuse is occurring and take the necessary steps to remedy it. 

Here is a list of a few steps that psychologists suggest can get rid of alcoholism:

Doing a cost-benefit analysis: The first thing a psychologist suggest is to do a cost-benefit analysis. For instance, the benefits of drinking could be having fun, a possible way to relax, forgetting about the problem at hand etc. On the other hand, the benefits of not drinking could be a better state of physical and mental well-being, improving relationships, having more time and energy to lead a healthy life etc. Similarly, the cost of drinking could be problems in relationships, depression, anxiousness, poor performance at work etc. The cost of not drinking, on the other hand, could be finding other solutions to deal with problems, losing drinking buddies, taking up more responsibilities etc.
Setting goals: The next step is to set goals pertaining to giving up alcohol for good. It is important to be realistic while doing this. The goal should be specific and precise in nature. For instance, the goal could be writing the date of quitting alcohol in a personal diary or something such as drinking a certain amount of alcohol during weekdays and weekends etc. It is important to announce or share the goal with dear ones. It helps to reduce temptations and avoid bad influences.
Cutting back drinking or quitting at one go: The next step is to work towards the goal. Once the goal is set, it must be adhered to. Keeping a personal diary to measure everyday drinking goes a long way in quantifying and ultimately limiting it. Instead of going out and drinking with buddies, drinking at home could help curb alcohol intake. Drinking slowly is also helpful when trying to quit alcohol.
Get sober safely: While some people can give up drinking over-night, some need medical and psychological assistance to quit. Either way, it makes sense to seek expert advice while quitting alcohol. Suddenly quitting alcohol can result in withdrawal symptoms. Nausea, headache, anxiety, sweating, shaking, elevated heartbeat etc. are some of the withdrawal symptoms. It is possible to counter these symptoms medically.
Change in lifestyle: While the body gets used to an absence of alcohol, it is necessary that certain lifestyle changes are made. For instance, daily exercise, building a good support network, developing a new interest, eating healthy food, meditation etc. helps a person to quickly get used to life without alcohol.

De- Addiction - 5 Things Your Psychiatrist Will Suggest!

Neurological disorders are an enigmatic bunch. There are various ongoing researches to identify the exact cause and how to treat them. While some argue that schizophrenia is a chronic brain disorder, others do not agree with it and debate that the origin is yet to be identified and the factors which produce it are yet to be identified.

Factors supporting it to be a brain disease are listed below.

Scan images (MRI and PET scans) of people who have had schizophrenia are different and have a reduced volume of grey matter, especially in the frontal and temporal lobes. In some people, this loss could be as high as 25%. Serial images have shown that the loss begins in the outer (parietal) region and gradually spreads to the rest of the brain. There is a strong correlation between the extent of this grey matter loss and the severity of the symptoms more the loss, worse the symptoms. Severe symptoms include hearing voices, psychotic thoughts, delusions, hallucinations and severe depression. This grey matter reduction does not depend on whether the person has undergone treatment or not for the condition. 

The counter argument is that grey matter loss is not seen in patients with schizophrenia alone. A number of neurological disorders, including normal ageing, manifest as grey matter loss on the scan images. Also, another consoling news is that this grey matter loss is completely reversible.

The way neurotransmitters respond to stimuli in people with schizophrenia is also slightly different. There are two variations to this debate: that schizophrenia is caused by excessive amounts of dopamine or increased sensitivity to dopamine. There are two proofs for this hypothesis first, dopamine suppressants are useful as antipsychotic drugs and secondly drugs which produce the same effect as dopamine can cause hallucinations similar to those seen in schizophrenics. There could be other neurotransmitters involved too, but the dopamine connection is more strongly established.

The electrical activity of the brain as seen in EEG is very different and abnormal in schizophrenic people. This reduced brain activity is another indication of the fact that schizophrenia is another brain disorder. There is also a strong genetic component to schizophrenia. Family history correlation is also very strong. The correlation extends to the point that where there is a neurologic disorder in the first-degree relatives, the chances of developing schizophrenia is increased.

There are specific genes, mutations of which are also attributed to schizophrenia. While the risk factors are in place (as mentioned above), the environmental conditions (brain infections, head trauma, family/social stressors and toxins can all lead to the manifestation of the symptoms. With medications and support therapy, both prevention and symptom management are possible.

Schizophrenia - Is It Really a Brain Disease?

5 awesome Bill Gates personality traits you can help your child pick up

Do you want to know what makes Bill Gates not just a mega-successful businessman but also a great human being? Well apart from outstanding business chops and an IQ of 160 of course. It is his attitude to life in general. If you want to see your child touch the peak of success personally and professionally, the apple of your eye should have certain integral personality traits. Here’s how you can effectively imbibe them in him/her. And there’s no better day to get started than today, the Microsoft founder’s Birthday!

1. Make your child a fighter.
We’ve often heard Bill Gates exhorting people to not give up despite the odds against them. “Life is not fair, get used to it” is his golden mantra. When your child seems down and beaten, always be there to support and encourage him, just like Gates’ parents were there to nurture his dream of computer programming from their club’s funds.

2. Inculcate traits of sensitivity and warmth.
A life lesson Gates champions is that of giving back to the society through his notable charitable endeavours such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. So how do you teach your child to realise his dream in this highly competitive world without losing his compassion? The answer is simple; encourage your child to perform small, daily acts of kindness like donating part of his pocket money, helping an elderly to cross the road or feeding the poor.

3. ‘No’ to shortcuts. ‘yes’ to patience and honesty.
Bill Gates is a strong believer of hard work. He’ll tell you that you need to work hard to realise your dream with shortcuts being a no-go. If your child is tempted to indulge in shortcuts, do not hesitate to gently admonish him. To be patient and honest consistently is hard even for us adults. Nevertheless, make yourself a role model for your child.

4. Stay humble.
One of the reasons behind the immense success of Microsoft’s founder is that he sees great opportunities even in the smallest and lowliest of work. “Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity” He’s famously been quoted time and again. If you want your child to climb the ladders of success like this monumental man encourage him to get his hands dirty. You could begin with getting him to help out in household chores to get your point across.

5. Learn to learn from your mistakes.
The man of wisdom strongly advises to teach your child to learn from his mistakes. Whenever your child does something wrong, give him some time and space to understand his mistakes so that the lessons learnt remain with him for life. If the lesson turns out to be positive then the mistake made was worth it. In time, your little tyke will no longer depend on you or others to correct his mistakes. We’ll be looking at a self-sufficient person in his own right.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.


Happy Birthday, Bill Gates! Top 5 Gates’ personality traits your child can pick up

Anger is an emotion found in every human being. There is nothing wrong with being angry. However, if it gets out of hand there might be serious consequences. Knowing a few things about anger management might help the next time you are struggling to manage anger. 

The Wrong Approach
Before knowing, what are the right things to do, it is necessary to know what doesn t work well. This will give a better insight on anger management. 

Often, we think suppressing anger might be the right thing to do. But, it is not. Trying not to react to a situation and keeping it under wraps, might affect your health and can even be the root cause of heart disease. However, suppressing it often lessens the intensity of the anger.
Just like suppressing it is not a good idea, venting it out completely is not the right approach as well. Venting might help you to cool down faster later on, but initially, it might hurt the other person and also have a negative impact on health. Venting anger occasionally will also make the person aggressive in nature.
Thinking or using words like always, never, should/shouldn t, must/mustn t do not usually help. Thinking about  he should never talk to me like that  or  they are always being unfair to me , brings about negativity and doesn t help in calming down.
The Right Approach

Counting to 10, the age old approach to anger management often helps in cooling down and giving a clear perspective. When we are angry, we end up saying and doing things we don t mean to. Counting gives us some time and helps us calm down a bit.
Breathe slowly when you are angry, say experts.  Instead of talking or reacting to the situation, just breathe in and out slowly. When you breathe out more, your body will calm down and make you relax.
Talk to someone who understands you when you are angry. Instead of venting out or suppressing it, talk it out with a friend or a family member. Tell them your feelings and why you are angry. This will help you a lot in relaxing. It works as a counselling session.
To manage anger, in the long run, one should always lead a healthy lifestyle. It means not just having a healthy diet, but also having proper sleep, not being stressed about anything, doing exercise, etc. 
Doing something creative often takes your mind away from angry feelings. Join a dance class, an art workshop, start keeping a journal, it will definitely help in the long run.
Leave the place immediately for few moments and drink water slowly when angry. Don't prolong the anger, come back and start conversation normally.

Anger Management - What Works and What Doesn't

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

From Lybrate: If you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over WhatsApp, Facebook and other media.

Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

You might think, as a parent, that if you behave strictly then your child will become well-behaved. But research and studies have shown that the opposite happens. Strict parenting leads to children who behave worse than others and they suffer from low self-esteem.

Some other reasons why being strict is harmful:

Never learning self-regulation: Responsibility and self-discipline have to be learned by the children themselves. When you put harsh limits on them, they never learn self-regulation. If they think the limits don t sound too harsh, they will learn to accept them. But the limits placed on them should never be controlling. If this happens, children see themselves as being controlled and no one enjoys being controlled.
Instilling fear: If you are being authoritarian (parenting in which there are high demands and low sympathy) instead of empathetic, then your children will become scared of you. You are instilling the power of fear in them. This triggers a vicious chain of events. When you yell, they will yell as well.
Anger and depression: Authoritarian parenting often leads to children believing a part of them is unacceptable. They feel that their parents would not understand. It makes them susceptible to anger management issues and depression.
Blindly obeying those in power: Children raised up in strict households start thinking power is always right. They learn to obey blindly. This makes them vulnerable to peer pressure. They also never learn to take responsibility for their actions.
Rebelling: Children tend to be angrier and become rebellious when they have strict parents. The need to break free and not conform to the non-empathetic limits that forces them to act out. They might even nurture thoughts about leaving home and running away.
Lying: Strict parenting creates excellent liars. Children learn to lie when they are in trouble. They think lies will placate their parents and they can get away with anything.
Damage to parent-child relationship: If you are strict and you don t change your authoritarian ways, then it damages your relationship with your children. Natural empathy is lacking in strict parents. You don t understand your child, and your child doesn t feel like sharing their lives with you. It creates a divide between the parent and child. Children never quite get over this as they grow older.

Being a Strict Parent Can be Harmful for Your Kids - 7 Reasons Prove it

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