Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

Do you believe that the world is a hostile place and you are a victim? Are you the one who often doubts his or her abilities? If so, you might be showing signs of low self-esteem. Interestingly, self-esteem has nothing do with your actual ability or talent. Your looks, weight or skills are not responsible for your low self esteem. It largely depends upon the fact that how you value yourself.

It has been observed in most cases that self-esteem is often affected by a number of reasons, including ill-health, unpleasant memories from the past, and termination of relationships. Low self-esteem is generally marked in survivors of physical or sexual abuse, victims of racial discrimination or people who have had a traumatic past life.

If you don t pay attention towards this issue, you might end up developing certain serious mental disorders. Low self-esteem is also the root cause behind the occurrence of mental disorders like borderline personality disorder, depression, etc. However, there is nothing to worry about it. There are certain simple things that are useful in building up your self-esteem.

Here s all that you need to do to start believing in yourself and be confident about your capabilities:

1. Remember your strong points: Make three separate lists of your strengths; achievements and your qualities that you admire. Take help from your friends, parents and other well-wishers for preparing these lists. These lists will help you in understanding your abilities and goodness. You will be able to believe in your strengths. You must read through these lists at least once daily.

2. Be positive: Optimism and a positive approach towards life are the key to success. Your self-esteem is influenced by the fact that how you look at life. Life is not a bed of roses. It is unavoidable that you will have to face critical situations or problems in life. But, what is important is to face them with courage and a faith in your own abilities. Be positive and stop developing negative thoughts about yourself. Get rid of thoughts like  I am a loser ;  I can t get rid of this problem ; etc.

3. Take care of your body: Your outward appearance sometimes works wonders in lifting up your inner-self and spirits. Keep yourself clean, trim your beard or hairs; cut your nails; don t forget to floss your teeth and maintain overall personal hygiene to develop a feeling of goodness.

4. Sleep well: A good night s sleep is essential for boosting up your self - esteem.

5. Eat right: A balanced diet is a key to good health. Eating the right food in the right way keeps your mental and physical health all right. Include minerals and vitamins in your regular meals. Avoid distractions like television or radio while taking meals.

6. Exercise: Regular workouts keep you away from mental-ill health.

7. Be cool and comfortable first: When it comes to your dressing, try to put on attires that you can carry well. Wear stuffs that you love the most.

How to Build your Self Esteem?

When you get a compliment'smart thinking or you are intelligent or that was intelligent of you, you definitely feel good. These comments fill us with confidence, admiration and pride and we want it to happen to us again and again. But owing to a busy schedule and long working hours it might not be possible. Having said this, it does not mean that a person cannot stay intelligent throughout. This can be easily achieved by regular meditation. Regular meditation and yoga helps the mind to be more reflective and efficient.

Here are reasons how yoga and meditation lead to an intellectual learning and growth:

 Utilizes the brain: almost everyone uses one half of their brain more and this leads to imbalance. Meditation is believed to sync the left and the right hemispheres, thereby allowing neural connection and great processing power. When logical left and creative right brains start working in harmony, then solving problems becomes easy; and it also increases creativity, deep thinking comes to be known of and concentration and focus magnifies. Highly successful people usually display whole brain synchronization.
 Functional capabilities of brain enhance due to meditation: research backs it that meditation increases the gray matter thickness of the brain regions, thus making the brain smarter, bigger and faster. This is very similar to doing physical exercise which makes the muscles denser and stronger. The increase in functional capabilities of brain is based on the concept of neuroplasticity, which states that our intelligence is not based on genetics and there are some things which can be done to improve the way our brain works. Meditation is a good brain enhancer with an ability to increase intelligence.
 Beneficial brainwave patterns can be seen: meditation can help to guide the brainwaves into beneficial frequencies. The frequencies: alpha, theta and delta when guided can show case a myriad of benefits including idea generation, creativity, cognitive functioning, and intellectual capacity. Meditation helps to transform these beneficial states of mind and help boost the iq.
 Develops intuition and insights: these are generally obtained through listening and developing to the inner voice. Thus meditation forms to be the basic key to tap these latent abilities. The intelligence can be mapped through tests and quizzes and is valuable at each level to stimulate insights and creativity. As per some people, inner intelligence, is considered to be the most important and best success in the world. Successful people including steve jobs have stated that their super revolutionary ideas and business acumen came through their intuition.
 Meditation helps in improving both short and long term memory: the key memory areas hippocampus and frontal lobe show increase in activity during meditation. By stimulating these areas, the short and long term memories are improved.

Can Yoga Improve Your IQ?

3 Things You Did Not Know You Should See a Psychologist For


Most people consider seeing a psychologist an act of weakness or embarrassment. Therefore, they never think that their prolonged periods of stress, anxiety, grief and conflict could be a sign that they need professional help. They fail to understand that psychotherapy is nothing but a strategy to relieve stress and make life easier to live and that often, it does not require you to get stuck amidst expensive treatments or prolonged medication and consultation sessions.
Here are 3 times when you did not know but you needed to see a psychologist.

1. You feel intense emotions
It is common for everybody to feel angry or sad at times in their life but if you feel these emotions too intensely, frequently and for prolonged durations, it may be the right time for you to see a psychologist. If your emotions overpower you to such an extent that your ability to function is impaired, it is a sure shot sign that you need professional attention. Also, if your anxiety levels are so high that you immediately imagine the worst case scenarios associated with any challenging situation that comes your way, you should not delay your visit to the psychologist because it may lead to panic attacks and paralysis.


2. You cannot stop thinking about the trauma that you had faced sometime in your life
If you are too grieved with the pain of death, loss of job, fear of accident etc. that you once faced in your life and there is no way how you think that you can get over it, you should seek immediate help from a psychologist. You may think that these feelings are natural and that you cannot do anything about them but in reality, it is not so. In fact, if left untreated, these conditions can lead you to a lifestyle where daily functioning is impaired. So if your trauma is too hard for you to handle, consider visiting a psychotherapist to prevent further damage.


3. You fall ill too quickly and headaches are a persistent problem
Being emotionally upset can affect your body in more ways than you think. So every time when you fall ill, the cause may not always be a physical medical condition. Stress and anxiety can lead to chronic illnesses like frequent stomach ache, reduced sexual drive, frequent cold, severe neck pain etc. So if you fall ill too quickly and the reasons for your illness are far beyond the comprehension of the general practitioner, it is high time that you consider visiting a psychologist.




3 Things You Did Not Know You Should See a Psychologist For

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

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