Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

If you are a heavy drinker and you are having problems with your sex life, they are likely to be caused because of your alcohol consumption. Sex and alcohol are not considered to be a good mixture. Although a small amount of alcohol is harmless, moderate to heavy drinking can hamper your sex life in several ways. Moreover, alcohol is very dangerous for pregnant women.

Alcohol can lead to sexual problems and issues in both men and women. It can also make them behave in a different and unusual manner, which may lead them into having sex with people who are unsuitable. It makes people take unnecessary risks and many get infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Unwanted pregnancy after having sex is a common aspect in today s world. Alcohol also makes people likely to be victims of sexual attacks.

The bad effects of alcohol on your sex life
There are several bad effects of alcohol which take a toll on your sexual life. They are as follows:

Alcohol may make people more likely to engross in sexual activity with the wrong person. Getting pregnant, catching infections and embarking in affairs which lead to the breakup of many marriages are common effects of alcohol. Alcohol is a primary reason for the demand of the emergency contraceptive or morning after pill, all over the world.
Alcohol fuddles up people's brain and many of them forget to take proper contraceptive precautions before having sex.
Alcohol is very harmful for unborn babies in pregnant women. It may cause brain damage to the baby. You should consume alcohol as less as possible during pregnancy and totally avoid it during the first three months of pregnancy.
Alcohol accounts for being a major cause of erectile dysfunction or impotence in men. Alcohol may increase your sexual desire, but it reduces your performance.
Men who are heavy drinkers may develop a permanent case of brewer s droop. Loss of sexual interest is also likely.
Excessive alcohol may lead to diminished or reduced libido in women as well. It is yet to be proven whether alcohol causes any other sexual complications in women.
If you are facing problems with excessive alcohol consumption and it is affecting your sex life, you need to take some steps. It is recommended to consult an alcohol counsellor or join the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group.

Alcohol - 6 Reasons It Is Bad For Your Sex Life!

PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder is a confusion that develops in a few people who have encountered a shocking, unnerving, or dangerous event. It is natural to be scared during and after a traumatic event. Fear triggers numerous brief and instant changes in the body to protect us from the threat or to stay away from it. Here are a few myths and facts about PTSD:

Myth 1: Everyone who has been through a life threatening event will develop PTSD.
Fact: In reality, a great many people who are exposed to such events will not get PTSD in most of the cases, and a lot of them see a decrease in the symptoms gradually over the months or even days. The number of individuals who may be diagnosed after an event that can result in PTSD ranges from under ten percent of people after twelve months of exposure to general trauma. Where as, thirty seven percent of the individuals are exposed to deliberate trauma.

Myth 2: People who are weak, get PTSD.
Fact: It is not clear why a few people get PTSD and others do not. Women are twice as prone to be determined to have it than men are, however, women will probably have numerous mental issues since they will probably look for help, and accordingly get an analysis. Individuals who are presented to interpersonal injury, for example, rape or fighting, will probably have more pronounced PTSD symptoms than survivors of mishaps, accidents or natural disasters.

Myth 3: After a specific measure of time, one should be over the trauma.
Fact: Depending on the nature of the trauma, it might stick around. Furthermore, in some cases, a person may seem to get over it. However, something triggers the recollections and they get tormented by symptoms again. Additionally, as individuals age, the movement that keeps the long-term memory far away from the brain, starts to diminish, exposing the person with seasoned recollections.

Myth 4: The trauma was such a long time ago that it is past the point where it is possible to recover from the trauma.
Fact: The good news is that it is never past the point where it is possible to address your shock or trauma. In fact, most of the patients are middle-aged child sexual abuse survivors. There is a great deal of reasons that somebody would hold back from getting treatment, yet the decades isolating them from their trauma are not an obstruction by any means.

Myth 5: I should have the capacity to handle this myself.
Fact: Frequently it takes more strength to get help than to battle alone, especially for specific events. Cases of individuals who might be particularly hesitant to connect include men who have been conditioned by the society to not express sentiments or show helpless. Marginalised people have a more troublesome time looking for somebody who can relate to them. 

Myths and Facts About PTSD!

When the vocal cords suffer from the accumulation of non-cancerous and abnormal growth, these are known as vocal cord lesions. These lesions usually cause a variety of voice and speech related problems. These are also known as singer s nodules and nodes, which may be caused by pressure, stress and stretching of the vocal cords. Women between the age of 20 to 50 are more prone to this condition. Here is everything you need to know about the types, causes and treatment of these lesions.

Types: There are three kinds of vocal cord lesions, that is nodules, polyps and cysts. A vocal cord polyps may be caused on one side of the vocal cords and may also lead to many disturbances in one s voice. Another type of vocal cord lesions includes a mass of tissue that may manifest in the sac or membranes around the vocal cord. This cyst can be on the surface of the vocal cord or in the ligaments of the vocal cord. This may require surgical removal as well as voice therapy thereafter. Nodules are the third type of lesion that may form in the vocal folds. These are basically calluses that may disappear once the pressure and overuse of the vocal cords diminish.

Causes: These lesions are usually benign or non-cancerous growths that may be caused due to a variety of reasons. Screaming and overuse of vocal cords are few of the most common reasons for the eruption of such lesions. The heavy use of one s voice can cause quite a bit of trauma to the vocal cords and may lead to problems including lesions and disturbances in one s voice. Conditions like reflux and allergic reactions may also cause vocal cord lesions as a side effect.

Symptoms: From hoarseness to pain, there are a number of symptoms caused by this condition. A low pitch and difficulty while speaking are also some of the common symptoms of this condition. Patients suffering from the growth of such lesions will also find themselves making an effort in order to speak normally and to be heard. Constant throat clearing may be required as well.

Treatment: Besides giving your voice a rest and gargling warm saline water with salt, one can also have the condition checked by the doctor so as to ascertain whether or not it is a serious lesion that may require surgical removal and voice therapy. The doctor will usually prescribe medicines in order to deal with any underlying conditions that may have caused the lesions, including allergic reactions, reflux, sinusitis and other such ailments. One will also have to stop smoking so that there is less chemical pressure on the vocal cord. Finally, one will have to go through voice therapy for more serious lesions.

Vocal Cord Lesions - Causes + Treatment

Anger is among the gamut of emotions we exhibit as a reaction to a situation, and it is a'normal' emotion too as long as it is kept under control. Some people have the propensity to explode when pushed to the extreme. They keep swallowing their emotions until they can finally do it no more, and erupt like a volcano. Others dealing with extreme anger are like a ticking time bomb. You'll never know what you unwittingly say or do can trigger an explosion. In either case, anger that cannot be controlled comes with a physical reaction.

Your heart beats faster preparing you for both action and reaction. Your breathing quickens. You may clench your fist, tighten your shoulders and go into a defensive position. The problem arises out of the fact that it is almost impossible to feel anger and empathy at the same time. An angry person is seldom sensitive to the well being of his victim, and hence may lash out verbally and sometimes physically. Such things done in the heat of the moment mostly leaves us with regrets. So here are a few ways to deal with extreme anger.


	Acknowledge it: the first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channeled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying'you are wrong to react like this, you can say'i understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation'
	Recognize the signs: once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 10 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end.
	Find ways to let it go: not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time.


If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.


How To Control Extreme Anger

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