Marriages very well might be bonds made in heaven, but for all practical reasons, they remain enacted on earth. When two different people meet, it s the union of two different mind-cultures too. It contains two diverse goals, two different habits of living, dissimilar aspirations & overall different priorities, that needs to be fused to restart a new common journey.

"To know themselves in order to discover the other  is the key here. Most relationships will get strained at some time, resulting in a failure to function optimally and produce self-reinforcing, maladaptive patterns. These patterns may be called "negative interaction cycles".

There are many possible reasons for this, including insecure attachment, ego, arrogance, jealousy, anger, greed, poor communication/understanding or problem-solving, ill health, third parties and so on. Changes in situations like financial state, physical health, and the influence of other family members can have a profound influence on the conduct, responses, and actions of the individuals in a relationship. Marriages require the maximum efforts from both the individuals.

Given the growing concept of individualism and personal independence, people fail to put in or sometimes understand the requirement of working towards their marriage, leaving them searching for an escape route as soon as the going gets tough. Marital issues may lead to major individual psychological problems with each partner trying to hurt the other emotionally as the relationship gets bitter.

Consequently, divorce rates in this country have shown a considerable increase in the past decade. This article should help you figure out some of the ways to save and improve the bond that is marriage while keeping the importance of individualism and personal space in mind-

Teamwork: It is essential for both the individuals to work towards their marriage and show equal commitment. With only one person trying to build a better relationship while the other one shows minimal effort and goes astray reduces the sense of belongingness; eventually leading to estrangement.

Take Responsibility: Apologize when it s your mistake and take responsibility for your actions, instead of going around in a continuous loop of the blame game.

Keep the Spark Alive: Take out time for each other whenever possible. A simple date night once in a while or a weekend getaway with undivided attention to the partner helps to keep the romance alive in long term relationships which more often than not fades away with time, without effort from the partners.

Appreciate: Appreciating the partner s efforts are probably the most important factor in any marriage. It avoids the individual feeling as though he/she has been taken for granted; which is the root cause of most marital problems.

Therapy: Marital therapy is usually beneficial when people are unable to deal with their differences within the marriage. Through marital counselling, you can make thoughtful decisions about rebuilding and strengthening your relationship or going your separate ways. The therapist can help with many specific issues, including communication problems, sexual difficulties, conflicts about child rearing, intrusion from extended family, substance abuse, anger, and infidelity.

Marriage counselling might also be helpful in cases of domestic abuse. In a collectivist society like ours, family therapy is usually used because the families of both partners play a major role in their lives. Family therapy is a type of psychological counselling (psychotherapy) that can help family members improve communication and resolve conflicts.

Marriage - How To Strengthen It?

Most Practical Tips for Controlling Everyday Stress

We generally use the word 'stress' when we feel that everything becomes too much to handle - we are overloaded and wonder whether we can cope with the pressures placed upon us. Nowadays stress is a normal part of life. Almost everyone has some sort of stress. Constantly reacting to stressful situations without making adjustments to counter the effects, threatens our health and well-being.

There are steps you can help you managing day to day stressful conditions and take to feel better.

Be realistic: If you feel overwhelmed by some activities (yours and/or your family's), learn to say NO! Eliminate an activity that is not absolutely necessary. You may be taking on more responsibility than you can or should handle. If you meet resistance, give reasons why you're making the changes. Be willing to listen to other's suggestions and be ready to compromise.

Shed the 'superman/superwoman' urge: No one is perfect, so don't expect perfection from yourself or others. Ask yourself, 'What really needs to be done?' How much can I do? Is the deadline realistic? What adjustments can I make?' Don't hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Take one thing at a time: For people under tension or stress, their day-to-day workload can sometimes seem unbearable. The best way to cope with this feeling of being overwhelmed is to take one task at a time. Make a list of things you need to get done and start with one task. Once you accomplish that task, choose the next one. The positive feeling of 'checking off' tasks is very satisfying. It will motivate you to keep going.

Share your feelings: A conversation with a friend lets you know that you are not the only one having a bad day. Stay in touch with friends and family. Ask them how they have dealt with a similar situation that may be 'stressing you out.' Let them provide love, support and guidance. Don't try to cope alone.

Be flexible: If you find you're meeting constant opposition in either your personal or professional life, rethink your position or strategy. Arguing only intensifies stressful feelings. Make allowances for other's opinions and be prepared to compromise. If you are willing to be accommodating, others may meet you halfway. Not only will you reduce your stress, you may find better solutions to your problems. Go easy with criticism. You may expect too much of yourself and others. Try not to feel frustrated, disappointed or even 'trapped' when another person criticises you.

Hobbies: Take a break from your worries by doing something you enjoy. Whether it's gardening or painting, schedule time to indulge your interest. Exercise: Regular exercise is a popular way to relieve stress. Twenty to thirty minutes of physical activity benefits both the body and the mind. Meditate: Just ten to twenty minutes of quiet reflection may bring relief from chronic stress as well as increase your tolerance to it.

Take Herbal Supplement: Herbs like Brahmi, Ashwagandha, Mandukparni, Shankhpuspi, Kaunch are very helpful in managing stress. These herbs work on the brain and help relax you which ultimately empowers you to manage your stressful conditions easily. There are many herbal supplements available in the market that can help you.

Consult the Doctor: If your stress level doesn't seem to improve with above tips, it may require more attention and consultation with an Expert.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Most Practical Ways of Controlling Everyday STRESS

If you are a heavy drinker and you are having problems with your sex life, they are likely to be caused because of your alcohol consumption. Sex and alcohol are not considered to be a good mixture. Although a small amount of alcohol is harmless, moderate to heavy drinking can hamper your sex life in several ways. Moreover, alcohol is very dangerous for pregnant women.

Alcohol can lead to sexual problems and issues in both men and women. It can also make them behave in a different and unusual manner, which may lead them into having sex with people who are unsuitable. It makes people take unnecessary risks and many get infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Unwanted pregnancy after having sex is a common aspect in today s world. Alcohol also makes people likely to be victims of sexual attacks.

The bad effects of alcohol on your sex life
There are several bad effects of alcohol which take a toll on your sexual life. They are as follows:

Alcohol may make people more likely to engross in sexual activity with the wrong person. Getting pregnant, catching infections and embarking in affairs which lead to the breakup of many marriages are common effects of alcohol. Alcohol is a primary reason for the demand of the emergency contraceptive or morning after pill, all over the world.
Alcohol fuddles up people's brain and many of them forget to take proper contraceptive precautions before having sex.
Alcohol is very harmful for unborn babies in pregnant women. It may cause brain damage to the baby. You should consume alcohol as less as possible during pregnancy and totally avoid it during the first three months of pregnancy.
Alcohol accounts for being a major cause of erectile dysfunction or impotence in men. Alcohol may increase your sexual desire, but it reduces your performance.
Men who are heavy drinkers may develop a permanent case of brewer s droop. Loss of sexual interest is also likely.
Excessive alcohol may lead to diminished or reduced libido in women as well. It is yet to be proven whether alcohol causes any other sexual complications in women.
If you are facing problems with excessive alcohol consumption and it is affecting your sex life, you need to take some steps. It is recommended to consult an alcohol counsellor or join the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group.

Alcohol - 6 Reasons It Is Bad For Your Sex Life!

When you hear the word  schizophrenia , the first thing that comes to mind are those serial killers shown on the TV or you call it split personality. But that is not the true meaning of it. It is not split personality or some kind of violent illness. Schizophrenia is a severe chronic mental illness which makes it difficult to differentiate between what is real and what is false.

As this is a mental illness, you will not be able to see any changes physically. You need to understand the symptoms of schizophrenia in order to know if a person is suffering from this problem. There are different kinds of symptoms that are used for diagnosing schizophrenia, but they all differ from person to person. Also, the symptoms that you see now, may not be seen later as the disease progresses. There are different types of schizophrenia and each has different symptoms.

Here is a list of the different types of schizophrenia and the most predominant and significant symptoms of each type.

Paranoid Schizophrenia: People suffering from paranoid schizophrenia are characterized by strong auditory hallucinations and of being persecuted. However, they are very normal and function normally. But they are not ready to discuss their feelings openly and the symptoms are not observable. Other symptoms include anger, hostility and disorganized speech.
Disorganized Schizophrenia: As the name suggests, people with disorganized schizophrenia exhibit disorganized thoughts. Delusions and hallucination may not be seen in this type of schizophrenia. The behavior of the affected person is quite disorganized or it is difficult to understand what they are saying. In fact, some emotions exhibited by the affected person are hard to understand or they are not at all relevant to the current situation. Their daily routine and activities will also be affected.
Catatonic Schizophrenia: People with catatonic schizophrenia are characterized by increased or decreased movement. This symptom actually varies from person to person. Some people stay at a place for a long time without any kind of movement and some people keep moving for hours and do not stop. They do not speak for hours and sometimes they keep repeating the same thing over and over again. This has to be treated immediately as they will not be able to manage even their daily routine with this kind of behavior.
Undifferentiated Schizophrenia: Undifferentiated schizophrenia is a condition where the symptoms do not fall into any of the above three types. You will also be able to observe hallucinations, delusions, anger, disorganized speech or catatonic behavior.
Residual Schizophrenia: As the name suggests, it is the residue of schizophrenia behavior, but it is less severe as compared to the past. Delusions, hallucination and disorganized speech may still be present but compared to the past, the patient would be doing better. 

Schizophrenia - 5 Types & Their Signs!

Bipolar disorder is also known as maniac depression. This usually sets in low and high moods in a person along with change in energy and sleep.
People with bipolar disorder tend to have periodical changes; sometimes they are over happy and other times they might feel sad, depressed and hopeless. Between these changes they are normal. The highs and lows are considered as extreme poles of moods, thus the name bipolar disorder.
Manic term is used when a person with bipolar disorder is highly excited and feels confident. Also, feelings of irritability and recklessness along with irrationality might occur. Some people with mania might have a hallucination that is they see and hear things that are not there, along with delusions. 
The term hypomania is used to describe mild symptoms of mania, in which a person does not have hallucinations and delusions and the symptoms do not interfere with their daily life. Similarly, the term depressive is used to describe a person's time when they feel depressed or sad. 
Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
The highs and lows in a bipolar disorder do not follow any set pattern. One might feel manic or depressed for hours or days or weeks, months and even years together before they actually switch to a happy mood. The severity depends from person to person and also changes with time by becoming less or more severe.
Symptoms of mania or the high are extreme excitement, change from being happy to angry and irritable along with restlessness, speech is rapid with low concentration, less sleep and increased energy, high se drive, grand plans, alcohol and drug abuse and impulsiveness.
Symptoms of low or depressive phase are lethargy, worthlessness, feeling of sadness and hopelessness, lowered concentration, irritability, loss of sleep or excessive sleeping, loss of appetite and suicidal tendencies.
Diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder:
In case someone exhibits symptoms of bipolar disorder, then talking to a psychiatrist or a doctor helps. Doctors ask questions related to the mental illness and the associated concerns. Diagnosis is basically recognizing the symptoms of the person, whether they are due to some underlying cause or mood swings because of excessive alcohol. The symptoms have to be noted and the duration for which they last along with the severity should all be noted. The most obvious symptoms are that of lows and highs in mood and changes in behavior, energy, sleep and thoughts.
Consulting a doctor or talking to family and friends helps to differentiate the symptoms of bipolar disorder from unipolar disorder.
Treatment:
Medicines which involve mood stabilizers such as lamotrigine, valproate, lithium, carbamazepine and antipsychotics such as olanzapine, quetiapine should be taken. Psychotherapy is also recommended.

Bipolar Disorder - What It Means

The feeling of instability is the crux of borderline personality disorder. This condition usually begins in early adulthood and is worst at its onset. As a person ages, borderline personality disorder usually improves and becomes easier to handle. For a person with borderline personality disorder, everything from their relationships to their moods, thinking and behaviour is unstable and constantly changing. This can be frightening but thankfully, this condition can be treated.

As with any other personality disorder or health issue, the earlier a condition is diagnosed, the easier it is to treat. Hence, it is important to understand the signs and symptoms of this disorder. This disease manifests itself in different ways in each person but some symptoms are commonly experienced. These include:

Fear of abandonment: No one likes to be alone, but people suffering from borderline personality disorder are terrified of being abandoned. Even something as simple as being stood up at a meeting, can make such a person extremely anxious. It can also lead to relationship problems by making the person seem clingy and jealous about their partner.
Unstable relationships: For a person suffering from this disorder, relationships are either perfect or failures. Hence their relationships are extremely passionate but very short lived and they often feel disappointed by their partners.
Unstable self-image: People suffering from this disorder may feel very confident one day and feel the opposite on the next. Though everyone has shifting views of their identity form time to time, for people suffering from this personality disorder, theses shifts are extreme. It can often lead to frequent changes in jobs, friend circles, relationships, goals and values. It can also cause changes in their understanding of sexual orientation.
Impulsive behaviour: People who display self-destructing and attention seeking behaviour may suffer from this condition. This disorder has been often associated with alcoholism, drug abuse and recklessness.
Suicidal behavior: People suffering from this disorder may often be associated with behaviour that physically harms them. They are also capable of following through on suicidal threats.
Mood swings: Extreme fluctuations in emotions and moods are a common experience or people suffering from borderline personality disorder. These mood swings usually start only a few minutes of a few hours unlike depression and other anxiety disorders.
Suspicion about everyone around: Borderline personality disorder can make a person struggle with suspicious thoughts about everyone around them and make them paranoid. They often feel out of touch with reality and can feel spaced out when under stress.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Signs and Symptoms!

Don't wait any longer, manage your Psychologist online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Psychologist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES