Do you know that all the facts you know and have heard regarding post traumatic stress disorder are not true? Post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD is a mental health condition, which occurs because of a certain traumatic past event, witnessed or experienced by an affected patient. As there are several myths about this condition, it is important for you to get your facts right regarding PTSD.

Myth: Post traumatic stress disorder only affects war veterans.
Fact: Even though PTSD is common among war veterans, the condition is capable of affecting any person. It is expected that almost 70% people of the world gets exposed to some kind of traumatic event during their lifetime, and almost 20% of them end up with this mental condition. The victims of physical abuse and sexual harassment are very likely to develop PTSD. Women are more likely to experience this condition on the basis of traumatic experiences such as rape, beatings, and interpersonal violence.

Myth: People should be able to move on in life after facing a traumatic event. Those who cannot get over and cope are weak people.
Fact: Many people who experience a traumatic event of extreme intensity go through periods of adjustment after the situation. Most people become capable of getting back to normal life after some time of therapy and treatment. However, the stress which is caused due to the trauma gravely affects a person s emotional, mental, and physical well-being. Prolonger trauma is capable of disrupting and altering a person s brain chemistry. The views, perceptions, and thinking patterns of many people change after a traumatic event. This results in PTSD.

Myth: People develop PTSD right after experiencing a traumatic life event.
Fact: The symptoms of PTSD start developing within three months of experiencing an extremely traumatic situation, but they also might not show or appear before several months, or even years in some cases. The symptoms are likely to be experienced for several years after the traumatic event. In some cases, the symptoms may subside or leave, only to reoccur again at a later stage in life. This is common in the case of victims who have experienced extreme situations of child abuse in the past.

Many people do not recognize that they are suffering from PTSD. This is because they may not relate the current symptoms they experience with the past traumatic event. In cases of domestic violence, a victim may fail to realize that his or her prolonged abuse exposure is harmful.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Myths & Facts About It!

We have a tendency to be our own worst critics. This affects your self-esteem that in turn affects how you live your life. Self-esteem can be defined as how a person feels about himself or herself and his or her abilities. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your self-esteem.

Make the right comparisons: It is human nature to judge yourself in comparison to other factors. However, comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. While one person may be great at outdoor sports, art may be another s strong suit. Find your own strengths. If you must compare, make a comparison on how you have progressed. If you like writing, look at how your style has evolved. Similarly, if you like a sport, look at the improvements you have made.
Set realistic goals: Whether its weight loss or career, it is important to set realistic and attainable goals. This should never be set in relation to another person. For example, setting a goal to get a promotion faster than your friend is a bad goal. Instead, set a timeline by when you want to reach the next step of your career. Ensure that these goals are realistic. You may have peers who have turned entrepreneurs but if you know that you do not have the necessary financial backing available, setting a goal to start up your own company may not be a good idea. Instead, if you do want to set up your own firm set a goal for the amount of money you need to put aside.
Focus on things you can control: There are some things we can control and others that we cannot. Do not focus on the latter. For example, you have little control over the education you received as a child. However, you do have control over the training and education you want to receive now. If you feel that you need to learn something more, take steps towards it. Merely saying that you did not go to a top school will not help.
Celebrate the small Stuff: Even small victories need to be celebrated. For a socially conscious person, simply going out for a cup of coffee with someone else is a victory. Similarly, booking online tickets could be a victory for a technologically challenged person. Celebrate these small things in life and you will soon be celebrating more things than dwelling on things you feel bad about.

Self Esteem - Ways You Can Enhance It!

Cell phones have become a compulsory device for our times, as they give us access to voice and data services in almost every part of the world. Hazardous effects of cell phones are significant because they are kept on our bodies, in our pockets, or held in our hands. In a recent publication, it was seen that 56% of children between the ages of 10 13 have a smartphone. Also, it is seen that 25% of children between the ages of 2 and 5 have a smartphone. School-grade students today beg for smartphones more than even new dresses or shoes.

Effect of Using Mobile Phones on Speech and Communication

In today s era, children using handheld devices are more likely to have delays in expressive speech. These children start talking much later than their peers. Since the cell phone does not respond back to their communication, children cannot develop a communication channel with it. Soon, they get accustomed to using signs and symbols for things rather than asking for the same. They just get used to the mechanical model of handling cell phones by following few simple steps. In human beings, speech is mastered gradually and progressively. If the child skips on the fundamentals of speech, which requires constant repetition of letters, consonants, syllables, and words, his speech tends to get delayed.

As per famous research conducted in Toronto, it was found that with every 30 minutes of screen time, the risk of delayed speech increased by 49%. Usually, infants should be able to communicate in sentences between three and four words, by the age of 2-3 years. However, those who spent the most time on handheld devices were found to struggle with communication skills. As per another popular study conducted in the UK, electronic gadgets may be blamed for 70% rise in speech problems in 6 years. Another famous study conducted in University College London found that screen time also had an impact on sleep of infants, which affected their brains.

As per the opinion of education leaders and speech specialists, many children are deprived of conversation with their family since they spend a lot of time on electronic devices. The noise and activity on a screen can distract a small child and cause a disconnect between them and their parents. Screen time is slowly replacing parent-child interactions which are critical for healthy development.

How to address this issue?

The best way to teach language to children is by interacting with them, talking with them, using different vocabulary, playing with them, being creative, and pointing things out to them. However, if you feel that owing to negligence your child already has issues with his speech and communication, then visiting a professional speech therapist and counselor can make a huge difference.

Effects Of Using Mobile Phones On Speech & Communication!

5 awesome Bill Gates personality traits you can help your child pick up

Do you want to know what makes Bill Gates not just a mega-successful businessman but also a great human being? Well apart from outstanding business chops and an IQ of 160 of course. It is his attitude to life in general. If you want to see your child touch the peak of success personally and professionally, the apple of your eye should have certain integral personality traits. Here’s how you can effectively imbibe them in him/her. And there’s no better day to get started than today, the Microsoft founder’s Birthday!

1. Make your child a fighter.
We’ve often heard Bill Gates exhorting people to not give up despite the odds against them. “Life is not fair, get used to it” is his golden mantra. When your child seems down and beaten, always be there to support and encourage him, just like Gates’ parents were there to nurture his dream of computer programming from their club’s funds.

2. Inculcate traits of sensitivity and warmth.
A life lesson Gates champions is that of giving back to the society through his notable charitable endeavours such as the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. So how do you teach your child to realise his dream in this highly competitive world without losing his compassion? The answer is simple; encourage your child to perform small, daily acts of kindness like donating part of his pocket money, helping an elderly to cross the road or feeding the poor.

3. ‘No’ to shortcuts. ‘yes’ to patience and honesty.
Bill Gates is a strong believer of hard work. He’ll tell you that you need to work hard to realise your dream with shortcuts being a no-go. If your child is tempted to indulge in shortcuts, do not hesitate to gently admonish him. To be patient and honest consistently is hard even for us adults. Nevertheless, make yourself a role model for your child.

4. Stay humble.
One of the reasons behind the immense success of Microsoft’s founder is that he sees great opportunities even in the smallest and lowliest of work. “Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity” He’s famously been quoted time and again. If you want your child to climb the ladders of success like this monumental man encourage him to get his hands dirty. You could begin with getting him to help out in household chores to get your point across.

5. Learn to learn from your mistakes.
The man of wisdom strongly advises to teach your child to learn from his mistakes. Whenever your child does something wrong, give him some time and space to understand his mistakes so that the lessons learnt remain with him for life. If the lesson turns out to be positive then the mistake made was worth it. In time, your little tyke will no longer depend on you or others to correct his mistakes. We’ll be looking at a self-sufficient person in his own right.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.


Happy Birthday, Bill Gates! Top 5 Gates’ personality traits your child can pick up

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after one has been in an accident or has faced an event that has left a scar in their memory. The accidental trauma overpowers you with sentiments of misery and weakness, which in turn can trigger PTSD. Here are a few ways in which you can get over the trauma.

Tip 1: Get moving

Exercise can help your nervous system relax and be unstuck on the trauma by discharging endorphins.
Rhythmic exercises that use both your arms and legs, instead of concentrating on your trauma, can help you divert your mind. Eg. walking, running, swimming etc.
Exercises like mountain climbing, boxing, weight lifting, or combative training can make it simpler to concentrate on your body developments and make you stronger.
Plan to exercise for 30 minutes every day or if it is less demanding, three sets of 10-minute workouts are also good.
Tip 2: Self manage your nervous system

Discovering that you can change your arousal framework and quiet yourself down can specifically question the feeling of vulnerability, which is a typical symptom of PTSD.
Careful breathing is a fast approach to calm yourself down. Take 60 breaths, centering your concentration.
Similar to how particular sights, actions or smells can transport you back to the traumatic event, so can sensory information rapidly calm you down. The key is to locate the sensory information that works for you.
Reconnecting to uncomfortable feelings and emotions without getting to be overpowered by them can have a positive effect on your brain to adjust your state of mind.
Tip 3: Connect with others
Once the reflex has been activated, face-to-face association with people who make you feel protected and safe is the fastest and the best method for bringing your nervous system into its right place. The kind backing of others can be important to your recovery. Search for someone you can converse with for a long period of time, somebody who will hear you out without judging you or constantly being occupied. That individual might be your better half, a relative, a companion, or an expert advisor.

Tip 4: Make healthy life changes

The side effects of PTSD can be difficult for your body. So it is important to deal with yourself and build up a healthy lifestyle.
Take out some time to relax. For example, meditation, deep breathing, back rub, or yoga can initiate the body's relaxation reaction and get rid of the side effects of PTSD.
Stay away from liquor and medications. When you are dealing with troublesome feelings and traumatic memories, you might want to opt for elf-cure with liquor or medications. Eat a healthy diet. Begin your day with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with adjusted nutritious meals for the entire the day.
Get enough rest. Lack of sleep leads to outrage, irritation and grumpiness. Sleep for at least seven to nine hours each day.

Accident Trauma - How To Get Over It?

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