Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.

Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

Are you prone to slipped disc problem? + the ideal way to treat it

A slipped disc, also known as a prolapsed disc or herniated disc, is the term given to the phenomenon that occurs when a cartilaginous disc found between the vertebrae in the spine becomes slightly displaced or protrudes, thereby pressing on the nerves in the adjacent areas and causing back pain.
This happens when the soft inner part of the disc, known as nucleus pulposus, bulges out through a weakness in the exterior part of the disc. A prolapsed disc usually occurs in the lower region of the spine and can be of varying sizes. There might even be the development of inflammation around the disc in some cases.

Who is likely to get affected?
Most cases of herniated disc occur in patients between the ages of 30 and 50. The number of men affected is twice as many as the number of women.
Although the root cause of this problem is not yet known, there are a number of factors that may trigger it. These factors include working at a job that requires a lot of lifting, an occupation that involves remaining in a seated position for a long time, weight-bearing sports, obesity, smoking habits and increasing age.

Effective ways of treating the problem
The different methods that are commonly used to treat the problem are:
Medications
There are many different kinds of medicines that are effective in providing relief. These include painkillers, muscles relaxants, anti-inflammatory pills, etc.

Spinal injections
A number of spinal injections are used to treat slipped discs. The injection is done at the opening where the inflamed nerve roots are found and reduces pain, swelling and irritation in the area.

Radiofrequency ablation
This procedure makes use of an electrical current produced by radio waves to reduced pain and sensitivity in the affected area.

Ozone discectomy
As opposed to the surgical removal of the prolapsed disc, this new process makes use of an ozone-oxygen mixture that is injected into the spine to treat the problem. Many international studies have proved its superiority to traditional methods and surgeries.

Those affected by this problem are advised to keep exercising and continuing with their everyday activities as best as possible.



Why You Can Get a Slipped Disc Problem?

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.

How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.

Persistent feelings of emptiness

Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
Splurging money on gambling
Leaving a good job suddenly
A tendency to indulge in drugs
Binge eating
Reckless driving
Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result
Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are

Genetics
Abnormalities in the brain
Childhood incidents which were stressful
Personality traits which have worsened
If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them.

Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Manifests In Your Life?

There are many people, especially teenagers, who are affected by eating disorders. Eating is important in life, but your life is not all about eating alone. Eating disorders can affect your health and your relationships also. This is a mental illness, in fact, a serious mental illness, but it can definitely be treated. People of any age or sex can be affected by this health issue. It is important to identify it at an early stage and treat it.
Well, there is no clear answer to what the actual cause of eating disorders is. Some recent studies say that it is a range of psychological and biological factors that result in an eating disorder.

Let s have a look at five interesting facts about eating disorder
FACT #1 Affected people look healthy:
People with eating disorders may look healthy and fit, but when you observe them closely, you will understand that they are extremely sick and need help. Anxiety, loneliness, depression and anger are some mental conditions which you may not be able to see unless you observe them closely.

FACT #2 Eating disorders are of three types:
Eating disorders are classified basically into three types. The first one is called Anorexia Nervosa, which is the fear of becoming fat. The second one is Bulimia Nervosa. This refers to the habit of binge eating followed by self-induced vomit. The last one is the Binge Eating disorder where people eat uncontrollably in just one sitting.

FACT #3 It is a not women disorder:
Eating disorders are seen mostly in women, but this is not a problem faced by just women. Both men and women may be affected by eating disorders. It is common for men and women to feel some kind of pressure when they see unwanted changes in their body shape and size. That can cause eating disorders.

FACT #4 It disturbs the normal life:
The impact of eating disorders can be seen in all aspects of your life like problems in your relationship, problems with your family and friends, your colleagues, your education, your workplace and such similar aspects. Your thoughts and emotions regarding your food and weight issues are going to be constant in case you suffer from eating disorders.

FACT #5 It can be life threatening:
Eating disorders can lead to suicide. Every year, there are a lot of deaths reported due to eating disorders. Out of so many different kinds of eating disorders, Anorexia Nervosa is the most life threatening. The death rate due to this kind of eating disorder is 12 times higher than the other kinds. People between the age group 15 to 24 attempt suicide.

Eating disorders can be treated and you need to talk to a specialist if you really want to get out of it. Your one step can save your life.

Eating Disorder - 5 Facts About It!

The first question when you greet somebody is 'how are you' and this often refers to our state of well-being. While most answers would be great, awesome or good, we usually think of how we are doing physically. While some of us may talk about physical conditions (say things like feverish, have a cold, etc.), not many would think of talking about mental health conditions. However, mental health is very important for overall well-being. 

Can you think of someone who is severely depressed or anxious all the time and have a good physical health? Chances are very bleak, and if you consider the overall health as a mix of mental and physical balance, this is not possible. Read on to understand how important mental health is and why you should start paying more attention to it.

Improved physical health: If someone is in a stressed state, it is obvious that they would not be able to do the activities they enjoy. Being affected mentally also leads to reduced immunity and sleep disturbances, making the person prone to infections and other disorders. Stress is one of the main risk factors for chronic medical conditions like heart disease and diabetes.
Improved prognosis: Most often, doctors focus on treating the physical aspects of a person s health. However, with recent emphasis on mental health, more and more doctors are looking at wholesome measures to improve a person s health. Results show that when a person s mental health is also addressed, the physical ailments respond very well.
Improved productivity: People with unattended mental health disorders often resort to absence from work and/or school, can have financial instability, be homeless and can fall repeatedly. Being mentally healthy provides overall changed perspective of life and therefore improves productivity.
Improved personal relationships: Children of people affected with mental illness are prone to neglect, abuse, rejection, and behavioural issues. There is also social isolation, which may lead into adulthood, and these children may also have emotional health problems. Others in the close circle including spouses, siblings, parents, close friends and colleagues would be clearly affected by a person who is mentally unhealthy.
Social effects: These people are highly prone to social crimes like rape, murder, theft, violence, etc. They may not be able to afford their treatment and/or resort to these crimes to assert themselves.
Improved quality of life: Life expectancy is higher in people who are mentally healthy. Even with mild symptoms of anxiety and depression, this is reduced, and the chances of a happier, healthier life are reduced.
Whatever the effect, mental health needs to be addressed as equally as we do physical problems, using medications, counselling, or lifestyle changes.

Mental Health - 6 Reasons Why You Should Take it Seriously!

Don't wait any longer, manage your Psychiatrist online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Psychiatrist - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES