Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

The chronic disorder that causes recurrent and unprovoked seizures is referred to as Epilepsy. A seizure is an impulsive and unexpected rush of activity in the brain. The reasons for the cause of epilepsy include head trauma, high fever, low blood sugar, and alcohol withdrawal. It is a neurological disorder and more than 3 million people in the United States have been affected by epilepsy. The chronic disorder is common not only in adults but even in young children and it has been observed that it occurs more in males. The disorder can merely be controlled by the use of various strategies as there is no cure for it till date.

Causes of epilepsy
Any illness that disturbs the usual form of neuron activity can lead to seizures. There are many possible causes of epilepsy. The 2 main types of seizures include partial/focal seizure and generalized seizure. The partial seizure would affect only one part of the brain. It is difficult to identify mild seizures. Further, stronger seizures are known to cause uncontrollable muscle twitches and spasms. At the time of a strong seizure, a patient can lose his consciousness. On the other hand, generalized seizures affect both parts (cerebral hemispheres) of the brain so their onset is not easily identifiable. Types of generalized seizures include tonic-clonic, absence or atonic etc. The other important fact is that epilepsy progresses because of imbalance of neurotransmitters which are nerve-signaling chemicals and also due to an abnormality in the brain wiring.

Drugs used to treat epileptic seizures
Anticonvulsant drugs are mainly used to treat epileptic seizures. The type of treatment provided to patients mainly depends on factors like severity and frequency of the seizures. The other factors that are also taken into consideration for the type of treatment provided include medical history, overall health and the age of a person. A patient can feel better with a seizure medication, an implant that works on the nerves, a special diet, and surgery.
To control epileptic seizures medications are the best option and to treat the brain disorder the right medication needs to be used. There are nearly 20 drugs available that are used for treating different types of epileptic seizures. The doctors provide medication only after proper review of the patient s medical history and their lifestyle. Some of the medications that are made include the use of antiepileptic drugs and anti-seizure drugs. The faulty signaling of the brain is suppressed with these medications.

Important precautions you must take

It is very important that the medication is taken as directed by the doctor. The main reason behind the use of these drugs is that they reduce the number of seizures and there are no side-effects. 
Care should be taken that the drugs provided to the children to treat epilepsy are FDA approved and are safe for use by children. 
The epilepsy drugs that can be taken for partial seizures include carbamazepine, phenytoin, valproic acid, valproate, and brivaracetam.
Natural treatments can also be made use of for epilepsy as at times medications do not work well on some patients. Acupuncture, use of natural herbs and vitamins can also be used for treating the brain disorder.

Epilepsy - Things You Must Take Care Of!

Over 60 million people around the world suffer from epilepsy. This can be described as a brain disorder that causes seizures. However, it is important to note that seizures are not synonymous with epilepsy. A patient may be diagnosed with epilepsy only if there have two or more seizures that are unrelated to other medical conditions. Here are five facts you should know about epilepsy.

An epileptic person can have many different types of seizures.
Seizures are caused by abnormal electrical activity in the brain cells. There are many different types of seizures. Seizures can make a person make abnormal movements, make him or her stare into space, make him or her unable to speak or make them shake vigorously and fall to the ground. Some seizures are easy to identify while others may go unnoticed.

Epilepsy can be caused by many factors
There are a number of factors that can cause epilepsy. The most common amongst them are - deprivation of oxygen at the time of birth, brain infections, head injuries, stroke, neurological diseases, tumors and genetic disorders. Infections can also cause epilepsy. In some cases, the actual cause may be difficult to identify.

A healthy diet, protecting the head from trauma (by wearing a helmet) and exercising can help prevent epilepsy. Expectant mothers should also follow a healthy prenatal plan.

The effect of epilepsy is much more in women as compared to men
Both men and women are susceptible to epilepsy. However, epilepsy can be harder to manage in women. This is because of their hormone structure. Pregnancy can also make epilepsy hard to manage and the seizures could also affect the baby. Thus, it is essential for pregnant mothers with epilepsy to take extra precautions and follow their doctor s advice strictly.

Epilepsy can be treated
Though epilepsy cannot be cured, there are many ways of treating epilepsy. The best form of treatment depends on the patient s medical history and neurological exams. Medication to stop seizures is the most common form of treatment. A special diet may also be prescribed along with this. In some cases, surgery may also be advised. Nerve stimulation may also be used to treat this condition.

Epilepsy is not contagious
Anyone can suffer from epilepsy but it cannot be transferred from one person to another. Thus, if you see someone having a stroke, you must immediately try to help them without worrying about your own health.

Epilepsy - 5 Common Facts About It!

If you are living with bipolar disorder then you will need a combination of skills to successfully combat each day of your life. Educating yourself about the disorder is the first step, however, there are certain tips that can come in handy on numerous occasions. 

Here are 5 tips that will really help you out:

Educate yourself about the disorder: The first thing you need to do is educate yourself about the details of bipolar disorder. Find out about the symptoms, read about the causes and the diagnosis procedure and ultimately find out everything about the treatment. Your doctor will provide you all the information and suggest you all the required treatment procedures. However, don t try to self-diagnose and self-treat your disorder without an expert opinion.
Stay connected with your friends and loved ones: Isolation is not the best way to handle bipolar disorder. The more you isolate yourself the higher the risk of mood swings. This lack of connection will lead to depression and that should be avoided at all cost. So try to be as connected to the world as possible. Talk to your family members, hangout with your friends, spend time with people around you; and you will feel a lot better.
Track the symptoms: Keep a daily log of your moods, thoughts and behaviors. This is a fantastic way to track the symptoms of the disorder. This will be revealing in the end, as when you present them before the doctor, he/she will be able to easily diagnose your condition. Try to keep track of particular incidents that may trigger any stress and change in behavior and log the mood episodes that you may have experienced pertaining to those triggers.
Employ coping mechanisms: It is not always possible to call on your doctor or counselor, so try to develop your own coping mechanism with the help of your doctor or counselor. Your mood episodes are going to be spontaneous so the coping mechanisms should be kept in mind. It can be anything that induces calmness in you such as staying connected, happy thoughts, music and any other healthy habits that captures your interest and engages you in something else.
Create a crisis plan: Create a contact list that will include the people, serially, who should be contacted in case of an emergency or a crisis attack. If you feel like you are experiencing any symptoms then contact them for help. When you are out of control, you will not have much time, so it is also advised to keep emergency numbers on speed dial to get yourself hospitalized without any time loss. Add your loved ones to the emergency contact list.


Suffering from Bipolar Disorder - 5 Things That Can Really Help!

The activity of delaying or putting off something is known as procrastination. Even the best individuals battle with it consistently. However, some people accomplish something that the majority of us do not- they push past it. They do not permit it to influence their work. They develop brilliant and beneficial techniques to break past mental obstructions and remain productive. Here are a few ways with which you can beat procrastination:

Try to start: Starting something can be very difficult. However, in case that you can get over that part, you will have some level of energy. Even your brain will probably goad you to continue dealing with the task. This happens because of a mental phenomenon called the Zeigarnik impact. It says that unfinished tasks will probably stay in your memory. This is exactly why planned things and to-do lists consistently appear in your mind until you finish them.
Separate huge tasks into smaller assignments: Enormous tasks can frighten you, so you put them off. By taking that huge task and separating it into smaller assignments, you can decrease your burden make a start. This could include concentrating on one part of the research to begin with.
Ask yourself  why? : It is easier to inspire yourself to accomplish something you value. In case you are attempting to complete something, why not spend a couple of minutes asking yourself precisely why you need to do it and why it is so important to you. Weighing out the positives and negatives of the task and its benefits for you, can make you decide and perform better.
Attempt to take a break: For those who procrastinate out of having worked too much, it does not mean you have to complete the task at once. This is known as the "sunk cost bias." The "sunk cost bias" influences players, speculators, and even a procrastinator. They feel that the task will need to be completed now and cannot be completed in the future. In some cases, a task simply does not mean you have to work on it more and more after hours.
Go easy on yourself: To beat procrastination, you should be strict with yourself. However, that is not what science says. In case that you have procrastinated till now, you will probably begin on time going ahead. You need to show yourself some sympathy for your previous laziness instead of thrashing yourself about it.
Self-control is an important quality many successful individuals have. Having self-control permits you to carefully understand why you are procrastinating and can likewise, work towards it. When you understand why you are doing so, it will be easier for you to make a plan to beat it. This will allow you to see the underlying cause of your problem as well.

Procrastination - 5 Ways You Can Beat It!

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