For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

The brain is not a stagnant realm fed with a granted quota of intelligence and memory at birth. It is always in a state of flux. Exercising your brain in various ways accelerates its ability to perform better. It is in your hands to have a sharper take on situations and occurrences. Playing games that require brainstorming, solving quizzes, crosswords or playing chess makes you feel rejuvenated and tired at the same time; the reason being activated brain cells. A healthy brain will affect your life decisions positively and you probably will think rightly before you leap.

Tips to exercise those brain cells:

Meditate and calm your mind: Ten minutes of meditation each day can help you get over anxiety. When your mind is at peace you think out pros and cons with enhanced insight. This composure reflects in each of your actions. Meditation demands your brain to be quiet when it is accustomed to work; you therefore have greater control over it.
Music can improve your brain abilities: Music is the best antidote for a sloppy brain. Music excites the neurons healing a bruised memory. It gifts you with clarity of thought. Apart from listening to music one must try to play a musical instrument. Teaching yourself things puts your mind through a strict regimen of constructive activities.
Take out time to learn a new language: We are paralyzed the minute our brain gives up. Due to several external and internal reasons each one of us is likely to suffer from cognitive disorders on being subjected to extreme pressure or shock. Trying to learn a new language motivate your brain cells to have a wider vocabulary, which further restricts your chances of brain damage.  
Mental mathematics could better your intelligence: Calculators, computers and phones are ridding us of our ability to compute individual data. Computation and consolidation of data helps your mind to work faster with precision. So, you now know those lessons on mental mathematics in childhood were actually the key to a well rounded brain. 
Think of something novel: The more the number of neurons the merrier is your brain. Take pains to direct your mind on a novel track. Thinking beyond what is given and expected helps your brain grow new neurons. It builds up your creativity letting you discover more of your capabilities.

5 Tips To Help You Exercise Your Brain!

Schizophrenia is a very serious psychological disorder which influences how a person feels, thinks, acts and reacts. A patient suffering from schizophrenia may experience issues recognising what is real and what is nonexistent; might be lethargic or unresponsive, and may experience issues communicating ordinary feelings in social situations.

The reason for schizophrenia is still hazy. A few theories and speculations about the reason for this disorder include genes (hereditary qualities), biology of the body (the unevenness in the brain s functioning); or persistent viral infections and immune disorders. Some of the problems faced by schizophrenics are as follows:

Delusions: People may feel that somebody is keeping an eye on him or her, or that they are somebody well known and famous.
Development and movement problems: These include behaving in a strange manner, pacing around, posturing or shaking forward and backwards for no reason.
Thought issue: Jumping from one topic to another in an unreasonable manner is also one of the symptoms or challenges of this condition. People may make up their own particular words or sounds.
Hallucinating: Seeing, smelling, tasting, hearing or feeling something that does not generally exist. The most widely recognised symptom is listening to nonexistent voices that give orders or commands to the patients.
Absence of feelings and emotions: An irregular feeling or expression may be experienced. For instance, crying at a joke when a typical reaction would be to laugh at it.
Despite these, some of the other very common problems faced by schizophrenic patients are as follows:

Social withdrawal from family and friends
Problems affecting in the ordinary exercises of life, for example, at work or school
Poor hygiene and lack of cleanliness
Mental shock
Loss of proper sentence formation
Issues deciding
Overlooking or losing things
Issues understanding ordinary sights, sounds, and sentiments.
Moving rapidly starting with one thought then onto the next.
Pacing and strolling in circles
Unreasonable written work, yet without any meaning.
A person with schizophrenia is twice as likely to end up diabetic or experience the ill effects of the chronic obstructive pneumonia disease (COPD) than the general population. Individuals with schizophrenia regularly commit the normal error of attempting to overlook the sickness thinking that it does not exist.

Schizophrenia has crushed a considerable amount of lives throughout the years. The indications of schizophrenia can be exceptionally scary and unnerving. There are different treatment techniques that one can access to improve the lives of the people who experience the ill effects of schizophrenia. Treatment of schizophrenia has, however essentially enhanced throughout the years, and there is no motivation to trust that it will not keep on doing so. In case that you or someone close to you has schizophrenia, look for treatment in light of the fact that your odds of recovery are good and your odds of change are great.

Schizophrenia - Common Problems Faced By A Person Suffering From It!

For human beings, the body is considered the temple, one that they strive to keep fit and in shape. In fact, the plethora of ailments, which people complain of suffering from, almost always deal with their physical health. In this over engagement to restore the physical health, the well being of the mental health is never considered. However truth remains that the health of the mind is equally if not more important and must be given its share of priority. With the growing age and times, depression has emerged as a gnawing problem, one that is plaguing individuals indiscriminately and one that must be eradicated as soon as possible. 
Some of the ways to combat this fatal ailment are: 

1. Exercises 
Everyday a bit of exercise not only keeps the body fit and healthy, but also goes a long way in easing and calming the mind. You need not indulge in strenuous exercises, but must make it a conscientious habit to work out a bit daily.

2. Talk to people
Though depression makes one inexorably quiet and silent, the first thing that is prescribed as a remedial measure is talk to people. Engaging in conversations with people, telling them what exactly is troubling you are proven ways to combat depression.

3. Meditate 
There is no better way to treat mental ailment than meditating.  When you suffer from depression, your body undergoes severe conflict. Meditating not only calms the mind, but also soothes away the worries.

4. Develop a support system
Depression is almost always followed by an unfathomable sense of loneliness. Talking to others does help, but at the same time try to develop a support system. Find an individual, be it parents, relatives or friends and confide in him or her. Not sharing what you are going through is never a solution and only exacerbates the fatality of the situation.

5. Change the daily routine
Monotony is never exciting and it is only time, before the humdrum of life gets to you. Changing the daily routine and incorporating something new and exciting go a long way in recuperating you from the mental dullness and fatigue.

Tips to Combat Depression

The skin is an elastic organ (yes, it is an organ!), but only to a certain extent. It has a limit to which it can accommodate the underlying tissues. With the increase in bulk, for example, puberty, pregnancy, muscle mass building or surgical implants, the skin is made to stretch beyond its limits. What happens is this stretch causes the skin to stretch too, and these stretch marks or striae become an unpleasant thing that needs to be hidden. 

Dressing needs to be changed so that they are not showing. Dermatologists see a big demand for getting rid of these marks too. There have been conventional, time-tested methods which help in getting rid of these. However, with newer advancements in dermatology, the platelet rich plasma is being widely used for getting rid of these stretch marks.

Why stretch marks? 

In any of the scenarios above, the stretch marks appear because there is a lack of underlying supportive tissue when it is stretched out. There is a lack of collagen and connective tissue, causing stretch marks. These are most evident in fat collecting areas like breasts, abdomen, thighs, upper arms, etc.

What is platelet-rich plasma or PRP? 

The blood is composed of a liquid portion known as plasma, which contains three main types of cells i.e. white blood cells, red blood cells, and platelets. The white blood cells are the ones responsible for fighting infections. The red cells give blood its color and also are responsible for carrying nutrients to the various organs. The platelets are tiny fragments of cells which help in blood clotting. Platelets are also rich in what are called totipotent cells, which can grow into any type of cells. When the body is affected, due to injury, infection, trauma, etc., these get concentrated in the affected area and are produced in large numbers to help in the recovery of the particular affected area.

Technique: 

The area to be treated is isolated and prepared. Blood is centrifuged to remove other cells and obtain platelet rich plasma. This RPR is injected into the underlying layers of the skin. This induces the release of growth factors into the connective tissue space. Collagen is produced over a period of time, which causes the skin to become taut and lose the stretch marks. The injection can be repeated if required on the topmost layer. It can also be mixed with thrombin to form a gel, which is then used similarly. Using it both in the underlying and superficial layers helps in completely getting rid of the marks.

Studies have shown a reduction in both the depth and size of the stretch marks and some might require two to three repeat injections.


Stretch Marks - How PRP Therapy Can Help You?

While most of us consume alcohol on a social basis, or during certain special and momentous events of our life, there are some people who may be classified as heavy drinkers. There is a certain alcohol limit as per the sex, age and climate that a person can have on a daily basis. When a person overshoots that limit on a daily basis and that too by a large margin, he or she may be known as a heavy drinker. 

If you fall in this heavy drinking category, then you may want to go through the following tips in order to bring down and curb your habit so that you can drink in moderation, without causing undue problems for your mental and physical health.

Use bitters: Using bitters, especially digestive bitters, with your drinks can help in bringing down the amount of alcohol that you consume in one go. This can also help your body in digesting the alcohol in a better manner so that you do not wake up with a hangover. Also, the use of digestive bitters can help in detoxification of the liver and prevent it from getting coated with toxins released by alcohol.
Water: It is a well-known fact that one must stay hydrated while drinking so that he/she does not get carried away and drink too much. You can easily have a glass of water between each drink so that you keep the buzz at a stable level rather than letting it get to your head, to a point where you start to ask for even more alcohol. Moreover, before a big party or event, it is best to first have plenty of water so that you do not end up going overboard.
Cleansing juices: The latest diet and fitness fad includes a dose of juices churned from various kinds of fruit and vegetables. You can also try this cleansing juice menu every time you feel like reaching out for a drink. This will help you in keeping things in perspective and then drinking moderately, if and when the need arises.
Set a drink deadline: If you want to cut back on your drinks significantly, then one of the best things to do is to set yourself a drink deadline. As per this deadline, you will set a number where you will stop. For instance, once you have reached 2 to 3 drinks, you will automatically stop so that you do not binge.
Find a support group: It is best to find a support group of friends or even an alcoholic anonymous group so that you can share your experiences and find motivation at the same time. This is especially important for those going through withdrawal symptoms.

Are You A Heavy Drinker? 5 Tips to Help You Drink in Moderation!

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