Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Suffering from depression - Avoid these

Depression is a psychological condition that can drain your hope, energy and drive. The things that you once rejoiced might not be pleasurable anymore. Meanwhile, overcoming depression isn't quick or easy and it is recommended that you opt for counselling or professional support to help you through. At the same time, you need to avoid these practices, which tend to increase the intensity of depressive symptoms.

These are the things you should avoid while suffering from depression.

1. Avoid Staying Alone: When you are depressed, you might not feel pleasure in things you used to enjoy earlier. This might result in social isolation, making you lonelier and more depressed than ever. But living in social situations, meeting people will actually help you. It can take off your mind from the feelings of depression and while meeting people might not seem as enjoyable as it did before, it can certainly help in overcoming the feelings of loneliness.

2. Avoid NOT Seeking Help: Most of the people are unable to differentiate between sadness and depression. But if you are someone who has been feeling intensely sad for no reason, then you are probably depressed. So, don't avoid seeking help. Approach a therapist, even online if you want more confidentiality and privacy. A counsellor can actually help in overcoming the feeling of depression.

3. Avoid White Foods: Processed foods or white foods are simple carbohydrates that can actually lead to insulin dumping and trigger the process of depression. The surge of insulin will initially make you feel happier, but once that's surge goes down, you will begin to feel depressed again. This will even trigger hunger and particular cravings, which in turn affect depression symptoms negatively.

4. Products with Aspartame: Aspartame can lower the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that's associated with mood. Therefore, eating aspartame can increase the intensity of your depression symptoms, may result in insomnia as well.



Do You Feel DEPRESSED Often? Stay Away from These 4 Things!

3 Things You Did Not Know You Should See a Psychologist For


Most people consider seeing a psychologist an act of weakness or embarrassment. Therefore, they never think that their prolonged periods of stress, anxiety, grief and conflict could be a sign that they need professional help. They fail to understand that psychotherapy is nothing but a strategy to relieve stress and make life easier to live and that often, it does not require you to get stuck amidst expensive treatments or prolonged medication and consultation sessions.
Here are 3 times when you did not know but you needed to see a psychologist.

1. You feel intense emotions
It is common for everybody to feel angry or sad at times in their life but if you feel these emotions too intensely, frequently and for prolonged durations, it may be the right time for you to see a psychologist. If your emotions overpower you to such an extent that your ability to function is impaired, it is a sure shot sign that you need professional attention. Also, if your anxiety levels are so high that you immediately imagine the worst case scenarios associated with any challenging situation that comes your way, you should not delay your visit to the psychologist because it may lead to panic attacks and paralysis.


2. You cannot stop thinking about the trauma that you had faced sometime in your life
If you are too grieved with the pain of death, loss of job, fear of accident etc. that you once faced in your life and there is no way how you think that you can get over it, you should seek immediate help from a psychologist. You may think that these feelings are natural and that you cannot do anything about them but in reality, it is not so. In fact, if left untreated, these conditions can lead you to a lifestyle where daily functioning is impaired. So if your trauma is too hard for you to handle, consider visiting a psychotherapist to prevent further damage.


3. You fall ill too quickly and headaches are a persistent problem
Being emotionally upset can affect your body in more ways than you think. So every time when you fall ill, the cause may not always be a physical medical condition. Stress and anxiety can lead to chronic illnesses like frequent stomach ache, reduced sexual drive, frequent cold, severe neck pain etc. So if you fall ill too quickly and the reasons for your illness are far beyond the comprehension of the general practitioner, it is high time that you consider visiting a psychologist.




3 Things You Did Not Know You Should See a Psychologist For

When it comes to the brain, simple yet easy to make juices can make a lot of difference. These juices not only improve your memory, but are of great help to the cognitive functions as well. While green tea is a known component of increased brain function, there are other drinks too, which can charge your brain over the long term if consumed daily:

Beet juice: Apart from being a nutritional powerhouse, beet juice is a great source of nitric acid. The latter helps with blood flow in the body. A smooth blood flow, on the other hand, helps the brain in functioning properly. A study has found that people who consume beet juice have an increased circulation in the white matter resulting from an increased brain activity. This juice is sweet in taste and can be consumed every alternate day.
Berry Smoothies: Acai is a fruit which has a South African origin and hits the top of the list when it comes to brain assisting food. It increases the flow of the blood and dilates the blood vessels. However, this is extremely expensive. Berries also have a similar effect on the brain, but they are less powerful in nature. What can be done is to mix a little ingredient of Acai in frozen berries juice and drink the same every day. Frozen berries retain the freshness and the nutritional benefits. This drink will improvise your brain and increase blood flow in the body.
Pomegranate juice: Pomegranate is a great antioxidant and it very aptly limits the free radicals from damaging the brain cells. Antioxidants are also credited with increased blood flow and protection of the heart. A healthy cardiovascular system is synonymous to an increased brain function. What is surprising is the fact that Pomegranate has more antioxidant content compared to red wine and green tea. Pomegranate juice can be consumed daily during the morning or afternoon.
Carrot juice: Carrot is known for its healthy components that are beneficial for the eyes. Recent studies have revealed that they are great for the brain too. Like other colored vegetables, they are a great source of antioxidant and have a high content of beta-carotene. Carrot juice can reduce the inflammation of the brain cells and improve memory. Carrot juice is not at all bitter and the same can be consumed every alternate day after your meal.
Cocoa: A Harvard study revealed that two cups of cocoa on a daily basis greatly helps a person in improving memory. Cocoa contains flavanols that keep the blood pressure normal and relaxes the blood vessel linings. Cocoa is also known to be a great antioxidant agent that limits the free radical to affect the brain cells. Cocoa should not be overloaded with sugar and should be consumed hot before starting your day.

5 Super Brain Drinks that Boost Your Memory

We all have those days when we seem to have hit an all time low. We feel bad, sad, mad, and there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. However, this is a temporary, passing phase for most of us. But for people with depression, this is not the case.

Chronic depression, which is more common in women than men, can arise due to different reasons. Major life changes, marital issues, relationship issues, financial problems, chronic medical problems, death of loved ones, life stressors, weather changes, etc. can lead to depression.

This leads to prolonged periods of sadness, feeling of emptiness, loss of interest in activities which were normally pleasurable, irritability, sleeplessness, loss of appetite, weight gain, worthless and hopeless feeling, and feeling of doom. This can result in dejection, social withdrawal, poor performance at work/school, and an overall declining quality of life.

In most cases, there is usually a past, unpleasant experience which leads to depression. This could be different for different people, depending on their tolerance. While some may go into depression over minor relationship issues, for others, it could be as severe as sexual abuse in the past.

Ayurveda recognizes  sadhaka agni  as a fire that helps a person to digest trauma. People with a strong sadhaka agni have a higher tolerance and take more time to get depressed compared to people who have a weak fire in them.

The following are some simple changes that can be very useful in overcoming depression.

Meditate for about 20 minutes every day.
Realize and practice detachment. Most people with depression have a loss of something they were closely attached to. Realizing that nothing in life is permanent and letting it go will play a major role in feeling better.
Get a sound, restful sleep. Stick to a routine by going to bed and getting up at the same time every day.
Walk out in the sun and get a good dose of sunlight. Add exercise to sun exposure to feel elated and upbeat about life in general.
Exercises such as yoga, walking, and cycling also are useful in improving overall balance and health. A healthy and fitter body definitely leaves one in a better mood.
Eat healthy food. Avoid packaged, canned, and processed food. Include a lot of nuts and seeds in your diet, be it roasted or soaked.
Try mood uplifting food items like black pepper, dry ginger, turmeric, amla, cloves, and cardamom.
Herbs like ashwagandha, shatavari, brahmi are highly useful in curing depression. They also treat fluid balance, govern energy and creativity in the body, improve metabolism, and clear toxins.
Ayurveda believes in not just making one feel better, but improving his/her overall well-being by getting to the root of the issue.

Depression - 8 Steps To Help You Get Rid Of It!

Is depression eating you up from within? are you facing severe emotional meltdown? emotional disturbances can ruin your life and this is why you have to look for the best preventive ways. You can have a consultation with any counsellor so that you can share your problems. Your counsellor will definitely help you to get some potential way out. 

Best ways for preventing emotional meltdown:

 Detecting the signs: the actual signs of emotional meltdown need to be detected and then only you can get rid of the same. Both your facial expressions and behavioural changes are to be observed carefully as these will help you to detect the signs. If you are remaining silent for most of the times, then there is something going on in your mind for sure. 
 Early intervention: you should rely on your intuition or sixth sense so that you can sense the troubles you are going to face. You should have a good observation power so that you can sense things easily. Remain quiet and calm so that you can take the right decisions. 
 Living well: you need to choose a completely healthy way of living, otherwise you will never get freedom from emotional troubles. Do not think much about past incidents, rather you should look forward so that you can go ahead. You should develop only positive mentality in order to discharge your duties in a perfect manner. Remain happy and keep everybody happy and then only you will be able to get the actual essence of life. Healthy eating and good habits are also needed so that your life can become more lively and refreshing. 
 Have proper communication: if you think that your friends or family members are pretty reliable, then you can openly communicate with them. This would help you to get mental relief and relaxation. If you open up your emotions and share them with anybody, then you will feel relaxed and your mind will be calm at all times. 
 Have counselling: it is not always possible to share all your secrets with your loved ones and this is the reason you have to look for the most reliable option. You can go for thorough counselling, and this can help you to get rid of depressing thoughts and other mental troubles. In this case, you have to look for the best counsellor in your locality so that you can disclose all your hidden secrets.

How to Prevent an Emotional Meltdown?

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