If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?


7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

Personality refers to the enduring and habitual patterns of behaviour, cognition, emotion, motivation and ways of relating to others. In simpler terms, it's the persona we have for the world to see and interact with. If these patterns or ways of relating with others become nonadaptive or pathological, a personality disorder develops.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is such a disorder of personality that causes mood swings, self-esteem issues, impulsive behavior and recurrent self-harm behaviour. It is very difficult to lead a normal life with these varied psychological issues.

The symptoms begin to appear from early childhood but they take a serious form only when one reaches adulthood. Issues with behavior and emotion are difficult to treat, people suffering from this illness should be willing to spend a lot of time and be dedicated towards his/her recovery. Through treatments and therapies, they do make significant improvements over time.

Causes

The exact cause of borderline personality disorder is not known but various reasons have been hypothesised as possible aetiology. Neuro-chemical disturbance in the brain, genetic vulnerability, some kind of childhood trauma like abandonment, death, neglect and/ or sexual abuse are probable causes of the disease. Prolonged and chronic stress/ anxiety may also lead to triggering of BPD symptomatology in vulnerable individuals later in life.

Symptoms

Prolonged dysthymia/ sadness
Feeling lonely/ misfit
Emotional dysregulation or Frequent mood swings
Significant interpersonal issues
Self-Injurious behaviour like making cuts in skin, burning, pricking etc

These symptoms are warning signs of borderline personality disorder and should be paid attention to:

Abandonment issue - People suffering from BPD have serious abandonment issues. They have an intense fear that they would be left alone and often act out to restrict their love ones from leaving. Sometimes their strategy is to not get too close to protect themselves from being left alone, so they appear aloof.
Disturbed self-image - People have self-esteem issues, they sometimes love or hate themselves or see themselves as evil. They have unclear goals, views, beliefs and often end up changing their friends, lovers, jobs, sexual identity frequently.
Dysfunctional relationships - It is very difficult to maintain a normal relationship for people with personality disorder. They tend to have quick short-lived relationships and get put off very easily which leads to a lot of heartbreak.
Suicidal tendencies and frequent self-harm behaviour like cutting skin using blades/ sharp objects are common.

Drugs and alcohol abuse, eating disorders and sexual promiscuity are other forms of self-destructive behaviour commonly encountered in this population. Extreme aggression, delusions, transitional Psychotic states are other possible symptoms of BPD.

Love and support from family and friends are crucial for patients suffering from this disease. Prolonged counseling sessions, therapies and the effort to break away from the chronic gloomy thoughts will definitely lead one to a better life.

All about Borderline Personality Disorder

Take a deep breath and relax! - a piece of advice given by yogis thousands of years ago. 

Modern-day life is not deprived of anxiety, trauma, mental stress, and depression in spite of the success in technological advancement that has made our life so much easier. Every aspect of life can be easily done with the majority of present-day inventions, yet mental peace is almost an obsolete element. This is because of the fast-paced stressful life that we lead.

Individuals are engrossed in the race of life rather than taking out time for self-counseling, contemplation, or just plain relaxing. Cutting out all the bustle and cacophony, people need to spend some time in contemplation and such an act is considered as meditation. It can not only solve issues relating to mind, but can also be a remedy for many health ailments as well.

Understanding Meditation

Meditation is a type of mind-body medicine. Meditation can produce a deep state of relaxation in mind. The act has been practiced for thousands of years. Today, meditation is practiced for stress reduction and relaxation.

During meditation, you focus your attention and eliminate the stream of perplexed thoughts that may be causing stress in your mind. This practice may result in enhanced physical and emotional well-being.

Improves heart and muscle functioning: When an individual is anxious or tensed, there is a release of cortisol and lactic acid which increases the levels of stress. The metabolism of the body is affected by these secretions. Cortisol is almost like a semi hormone that is vital for controlling metabolism. Meditation decreases the release of these chemicals and hence increase the functionality of heart and muscles.
Improves healing and cognition: According to extensive studies in human development and neuroscience, meditation has been proven to have clear effects on human brain and thus improve the wholesome functionality of the body. Also, it maneuvers our logical and cognitive skills. It is beneficial both mentally and physically by stimulating the brain to generate waves that bring it to the alpha state. This condition of the mind allows cell healing.
Other health benefits: Meditation helps you to reduce high blood pressure, elevated levels of blood lactate, and lessen panic attacks. It reduces any pain related to tension like ulcers, headaches, muscle, and insomnia. It also improves the immune system increasing your energy levels as well.
Mood booster: Meditation helps combat depression or mood swings as it helps secretion of serotonin that enhances our mood and thus works as an activity that elevates our mood. It is extremely beneficial for women to tackle Pre-Menstrual Syndrome and Menopausal mood swings.
Calms your mind: Meditation helps you to concentrate your focus on a single perception or experience, a no-thought stage, which is often detoxifying for the mind to unleash into an absolute state of rest. This is essential as it enables the body and mind to synchronize together to unravel and unwind. This state calms you from within, helps you to think about whatever problem is bothering you from a deeper elemental level and to a rational out the stretch. Your analytical perspective broadens and decisions made after that can never be wrong as it is propelled by a mature heart and a settled brain. It enriches you spiritually.
Meditation has an overall psychosomatic effect. Meditation can combat numerous problems. All you have to do is maintain the consistency.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

How Meditation Can Solve All Your Problems?

Anger is an ordinary and is an expressed reaction to an attack, perceived danger or fear. It has been very useful in our struggle for survival. The brain distinguishes the danger and the body is provoked and energized to respond with battle or fight. Once in a while, obviously, it gets out of hand. A few people, unmistakably, see dangers where there are none or where the risk is negligible. Their bodies get provoked improperly. They could use some assistance in understanding the signs that trigger their reactions and discover approaches to improve control.

Health problems: There are some individuals who encounter so much anger that they cannot control their drive to strike out at other people. This is isolated and separated from the issue of alcohol and medication misuse. It is imperative to recall that in case that you are a person who effectively gets angry and has outbursts, you can hurt your health.

Aerobics: Many of us are aware of the advantageous impacts that workout has on one s well-being and health. Various studies exhibit that every day exercise, particularly a program that includes aerobic exercise, can counteract or lessen feelings of anger or depression. Aerobic exercises, much like cardio activities, such as running, brisk walking, swimming and bike riding gets a person out of breath while expanding the pulse and heart rate.

Muscle relaxation: Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate on straining and unwinding specific muscle groups in your body, so that it can divert you from your sentiments of anger. Moreover, it is great for mitigating nervousness and pressure, which can likewise ease angry emotions. This activity additionally attempts to help you rest when your emotions are running high. Concentrate on a specific muscle group, for example, the muscles in one hand. While breathing in profoundly and gradually, crush the muscles as hard as you can and keep up that pressure for five seconds. For instance, straining your hand muscles would include shaping a tight clench hand. Concentrate on that gathering of muscles and make an effort not to unintentionally tense the surrounding muscles.

30 minutes: There is a lot to be gained even from a 30 minute routine at the gym, in the recreation center or at home. If you have any sort of medical condition, or if you are not sure about the condition of your health, you must consult your doctor. When you get medicinal freedom for activities, it helps arranging and using a work out timetable of no less than thrice each week.

All things considered, you do not have anything to lose except excess weight, depression and now, perhaps even anger. Along these lines, in case that you need to better deal with your anger as it emerges, a great workout might be the correct approach.

How Workout is the Best Way to Get Over Your Anger?

What is avoidant personality disorder?

Feelings of inadequacy for long durations and being extremely sensitive to what others think of you is a disorder called avoidant personality disorder symptom. Such feelings of inadequacy in turn push the person to become isolated from the society and the person avoids people, work, and other activities. Social and occupational functioning is affected as the person is extremely sensitive and has very low self-esteem. Symptoms of avoidant personality disorder are:

1. Avoiding social interactions: people suffering from this disorder avoid almost all sorts of interpersonal contact since they lie with the fear of rejection, disapproval and criticism.

2. Avoiding risks: they avoid taking personal risks or being involved in activities which seem new, because they fear that they will embarrass themselves.

3. Socially unplugged: they are not willing to get involved with individuals unless they are absolutely certain of being liked by the person.

4. Preoccupied with negative perception: the idea of being criticized or rejected in social functions is so deep within their psyche that they are often preoccupied with only this thought in their minds.

5. Inferiority complex: people suffering from avoidant personality disorder consider themselves as good for nothing, unappealing, and inferior to everyone else.

6. Avoid intimacy: they are always reluctant to get into intimate relationships because they feel that they will be shamed and ridiculed. Because of such fears, they let go of relationships where they would have been genuinely cherished too.

The only treatment possible for this disorder is psychotherapy. While some people opt for long term therapy, most people usually visit a psychotherapist only when they feel overwhelmed with their fear and emotions.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on'consult.

From lybrate: if you found this tip useful, please thank the doctor by clicking on the heart icon below. Also, spread good health by sharing this tip with your loved ones over whatsapp, facebook and other media.

6 Signs of Avoidant Personality Disorder, 2nd Most Common Psychiatric Disorder

Don't wait any longer, manage your Personality Disorder online with a Lybrate doctor today

Consult for Personality Disorder - Online and Easy!

FilterClear All

COMMON SPECIALITIES

COMMON ISSUES