HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Shankhpushpi is a perennial herb. It is considered to be one of the most wonderful gifts of nature to mankind. It is a type of morning glory that belongs to the Convolvulaceae plant family. Its scientific name is Convolvulus Pluricaulis. The flowers are blue, pink or white in color, and are about 2mm   5mm in size. They grow in rocky and sandy areas under xerophytic conditions and is mostly found in areas of Bihar and Punjab in India. It is also seen in the deserts of the Sahara.

Importance: Shankhpushpi is a very important herb of Ayurveda due to its therapeutic benefits. It mainly takes care of the nerves by supporting and promoting healthy brain and mind. It enhances brain power, improves memory and concentration and the ability to recall. When combined with other herbs, the formulation created is used for treating conditions, such as schizophrenia, depression, epilepsy and aggressive behavior disorders.

Parts Used: Shankhpushpi is often used as a paste, powder and tonic for different formulations. The parts that are used for these formulations are the leaves, flowers, stem, roots, seeds and ashes.

The Shankhpushpi plant has lots of health benefits 

Shankhpushpi syrup is very good for brain development of children. It is effective if children take it regularly for three months. It improves their memory, learning, grasping power and intelligence. It should be given to them along with Bramhi, Sharkara, Nimbu Satva and water
It rejuvenates the nervous function by promoting memory and concentration
It helps in relieving stress and has the ability to calm a mind
It supports the flow of blood in the brain
It treats fatigue, nervous debility and low energy level
A tonic made from Shankhpushpi works as a psychostimulant and tranquilizer
Shankhpushpi tonic is often used to treat hypotensive syndromes
It improves the balance and vitiation in kapha-vata-pitta doshas
It works as antioxidant and antacid
The herbal extract possesses spermatogenic properties, so it is used to treat cases of sperm debility
It can treat urinary system ailments
It is important to keep in mind that to get the best results, one has to use the best quality herbs in the right quantity. Shankhpushpi is a wonderful remedy for a number of problems, however, no herb should be taken without consulting an Ayurveda practitioner. In case of a concern or query consult an expert & get answers!

Shankhpushpi - 11 Most Important Reasons To Consume It!

What is avoidant personality disorder?

Feelings of inadequacy for long durations and being extremely sensitive to what others think of you is a disorder called avoidant personality disorder symptom. Such feelings of inadequacy in turn push the person to become isolated from the society and the person avoids people, work, and other activities. Social and occupational functioning is affected as the person is extremely sensitive and has very low self-esteem. Symptoms of avoidant personality disorder are:

1. Avoiding social interactions: people suffering from this disorder avoid almost all sorts of interpersonal contact since they lie with the fear of rejection, disapproval and criticism.

2. Avoiding risks: they avoid taking personal risks or being involved in activities which seem new, because they fear that they will embarrass themselves.

3. Socially unplugged: they are not willing to get involved with individuals unless they are absolutely certain of being liked by the person.

4. Preoccupied with negative perception: the idea of being criticized or rejected in social functions is so deep within their psyche that they are often preoccupied with only this thought in their minds.

5. Inferiority complex: people suffering from avoidant personality disorder consider themselves as good for nothing, unappealing, and inferior to everyone else.

6. Avoid intimacy: they are always reluctant to get into intimate relationships because they feel that they will be shamed and ridiculed. Because of such fears, they let go of relationships where they would have been genuinely cherished too.

The only treatment possible for this disorder is psychotherapy. While some people opt for long term therapy, most people usually visit a psychotherapist only when they feel overwhelmed with their fear and emotions.

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6 Signs of Avoidant Personality Disorder, 2nd Most Common Psychiatric Disorder

Anger is an ordinary and is an expressed reaction to an attack, perceived danger or fear. It has been very useful in our struggle for survival. The brain distinguishes the danger and the body is provoked and energized to respond with battle or fight. Once in a while, obviously, it gets out of hand. A few people, unmistakably, see dangers where there are none or where the risk is negligible. Their bodies get provoked improperly. They could use some assistance in understanding the signs that trigger their reactions and discover approaches to improve control.

Health problems: There are some individuals who encounter so much anger that they cannot control their drive to strike out at other people. This is isolated and separated from the issue of alcohol and medication misuse. It is imperative to recall that in case that you are a person who effectively gets angry and has outbursts, you can hurt your health.

Aerobics: Many of us are aware of the advantageous impacts that workout has on one s well-being and health. Various studies exhibit that every day exercise, particularly a program that includes aerobic exercise, can counteract or lessen feelings of anger or depression. Aerobic exercises, much like cardio activities, such as running, brisk walking, swimming and bike riding gets a person out of breath while expanding the pulse and heart rate.

Muscle relaxation: Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate on straining and unwinding specific muscle groups in your body, so that it can divert you from your sentiments of anger. Moreover, it is great for mitigating nervousness and pressure, which can likewise ease angry emotions. This activity additionally attempts to help you rest when your emotions are running high. Concentrate on a specific muscle group, for example, the muscles in one hand. While breathing in profoundly and gradually, crush the muscles as hard as you can and keep up that pressure for five seconds. For instance, straining your hand muscles would include shaping a tight clench hand. Concentrate on that gathering of muscles and make an effort not to unintentionally tense the surrounding muscles.

30 minutes: There is a lot to be gained even from a 30 minute routine at the gym, in the recreation center or at home. If you have any sort of medical condition, or if you are not sure about the condition of your health, you must consult your doctor. When you get medicinal freedom for activities, it helps arranging and using a work out timetable of no less than thrice each week.

All things considered, you do not have anything to lose except excess weight, depression and now, perhaps even anger. Along these lines, in case that you need to better deal with your anger as it emerges, a great workout might be the correct approach.

How Workout is the Best Way to Get Over Your Anger?

When you get a compliment'smart thinking or you are intelligent or that was intelligent of you, you definitely feel good. These comments fill us with confidence, admiration and pride and we want it to happen to us again and again. But owing to a busy schedule and long working hours it might not be possible. Having said this, it does not mean that a person cannot stay intelligent throughout. This can be easily achieved by regular meditation. Regular meditation and yoga helps the mind to be more reflective and efficient.

Here are reasons how yoga and meditation lead to an intellectual learning and growth:

 Utilizes the brain: almost everyone uses one half of their brain more and this leads to imbalance. Meditation is believed to sync the left and the right hemispheres, thereby allowing neural connection and great processing power. When logical left and creative right brains start working in harmony, then solving problems becomes easy; and it also increases creativity, deep thinking comes to be known of and concentration and focus magnifies. Highly successful people usually display whole brain synchronization.
 Functional capabilities of brain enhance due to meditation: research backs it that meditation increases the gray matter thickness of the brain regions, thus making the brain smarter, bigger and faster. This is very similar to doing physical exercise which makes the muscles denser and stronger. The increase in functional capabilities of brain is based on the concept of neuroplasticity, which states that our intelligence is not based on genetics and there are some things which can be done to improve the way our brain works. Meditation is a good brain enhancer with an ability to increase intelligence.
 Beneficial brainwave patterns can be seen: meditation can help to guide the brainwaves into beneficial frequencies. The frequencies: alpha, theta and delta when guided can show case a myriad of benefits including idea generation, creativity, cognitive functioning, and intellectual capacity. Meditation helps to transform these beneficial states of mind and help boost the iq.
 Develops intuition and insights: these are generally obtained through listening and developing to the inner voice. Thus meditation forms to be the basic key to tap these latent abilities. The intelligence can be mapped through tests and quizzes and is valuable at each level to stimulate insights and creativity. As per some people, inner intelligence, is considered to be the most important and best success in the world. Successful people including steve jobs have stated that their super revolutionary ideas and business acumen came through their intuition.
 Meditation helps in improving both short and long term memory: the key memory areas hippocampus and frontal lobe show increase in activity during meditation. By stimulating these areas, the short and long term memories are improved.

Can Yoga Improve Your IQ?

Don t like social gatherings? Have you always been the one who avoids family get together? If your answer is affirmative, then you are probably suffering from Avoidant personality disorder.  Avoidant personality disorder is a psychological condition wherein, one feels extremely shy. Becoming overly sensitive to rejection and developing feelings of inadequacy are common signs of this disorder. This disorder can lead to problems in your work life and relationships. 

Symptoms
With APD, the commonly surfacing symptoms would include disapproval and disregard of situations and people, rejection and embarrassment. It generally gets very difficult for the one to get acquainted with new people and form intimate relationships. One generally ends up misinterpreting people s comments and criticism thus, feeling angry and frustrated all the more. 

Causes
The exact cause of APD has not been established yet. It is believed that environmental and genetic factors play a role in this disorder. People who are inherently shy and reserved are usually prone to developing this psychological anomaly. 

How do you treat APD?
In order to treat APD, you can opt for the following modes of treatment:

Psychotherapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy is a treatment option for APD wherein, the doctor counsels on how to change one s thinking patterns and thought process, thus, influencing his/her actions.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy: Psychodynamic therapy involves you becoming aware of the unconscious thoughts. It helps you figure out how your past experiences frame your behavior. Your past emotional pains can be resolved with this technique so that you can move ahead with your life. 
Medications: Anti-depressant medications used to treat depression and anxiety can be used to treat APD.

Prefer Social Isolation - Can it be a Sign of Avoidant Personality Disorder?

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