
A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

Smoking and its effect on tooth

Smoking is a phenomenon where the smoke emanated from a burning substance, usually tobacco, is inhaled. Smoking is a major cause for multiple diseases such as lung cancer, mouth cancer, blood pressure disorders etc.

Smoking tends to limit the capabilities of the immune system and this makes it easier for various diseases to affect the body. Smoking can lead to problems in the teeth where the gum tissues that attach the bone with the teeth are affected. This may cause the blood flow to the gums to be impaired and affect the functioning of the teeth.

The changes that the teeth undergo due to smoking are -

1. It may increase teeth sensitivity.
2. Smoking causes the teeth to be pulled away from the gums.
3. It can result in swollen and bleeding gums.
4. It may cause pain while chewing food.
5. Bone loss around the jawline occurs in smokers.
6. It can result in stained teeth and bad breath.

Disorders related to the teeth caused by smoking

There are various disorders of the teeth which are directly linked to smoking, they are -

-Mouth cancer - in this condition tumors are formed in the mouth
-It can cause plaque to accumulate in the teeth
-It may cause gum disease that can result in tooth loss
-It may interfere with healing period of any dental treatment
-It reduces the success rates of teeth implants
-Sweeteners present in the tobacco can also cause tooth decay

The effects of smoking on the tooth can be minimized by avoiding smoking altogether. Apart from that, following proper dental hygiene such regular brushing and flossing of the teeth will keep the teeth healthy. Avoiding smoking also reduces chances of lesion leukoplakia (white patches near teeth and gums).




Smoking and Its Effect on Teeth

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after one has been in an accident or has faced an event that has left a scar in their memory. The accidental trauma overpowers you with sentiments of misery and weakness, which in turn can trigger PTSD. Here are a few ways in which you can get over the trauma.

Tip 1: Get moving

Exercise can help your nervous system relax and be unstuck on the trauma by discharging endorphins.
Rhythmic exercises that use both your arms and legs, instead of concentrating on your trauma, can help you divert your mind. Eg. walking, running, swimming etc.
Exercises like mountain climbing, boxing, weight lifting, or combative training can make it simpler to concentrate on your body developments and make you stronger.
Plan to exercise for 30 minutes every day or if it is less demanding, three sets of 10-minute workouts are also good.
Tip 2: Self manage your nervous system

Discovering that you can change your arousal framework and quiet yourself down can specifically question the feeling of vulnerability, which is a typical symptom of PTSD.
Careful breathing is a fast approach to calm yourself down. Take 60 breaths, centering your concentration.
Similar to how particular sights, actions or smells can transport you back to the traumatic event, so can sensory information rapidly calm you down. The key is to locate the sensory information that works for you.
Reconnecting to uncomfortable feelings and emotions without getting to be overpowered by them can have a positive effect on your brain to adjust your state of mind.
Tip 3: Connect with others
Once the reflex has been activated, face-to-face association with people who make you feel protected and safe is the fastest and the best method for bringing your nervous system into its right place. The kind backing of others can be important to your recovery. Search for someone you can converse with for a long period of time, somebody who will hear you out without judging you or constantly being occupied. That individual might be your better half, a relative, a companion, or an expert advisor.

Tip 4: Make healthy life changes

The side effects of PTSD can be difficult for your body. So it is important to deal with yourself and build up a healthy lifestyle.
Take out some time to relax. For example, meditation, deep breathing, back rub, or yoga can initiate the body's relaxation reaction and get rid of the side effects of PTSD.
Stay away from liquor and medications. When you are dealing with troublesome feelings and traumatic memories, you might want to opt for elf-cure with liquor or medications. Eat a healthy diet. Begin your day with breakfast, and keep your energy up and your mind clear with adjusted nutritious meals for the entire the day.
Get enough rest. Lack of sleep leads to outrage, irritation and grumpiness. Sleep for at least seven to nine hours each day.

Accident Trauma - How To Get Over It?

Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.

3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Raising your Children with High Self Esteem

Alcoholism is a severe problem, which can make a person's life miserable and also make the society detest him. The aim of treatment for alcoholism is abstinence or staying away from alcohol use. The treatment of alcoholism can only begin when an alcoholic accepts the problem and realizes that he must get rid of the habit for his own good and the good of his loved ones.

There are three main stages in the treatment of alcoholism:

1. Detoxification: Detoxification is the first step required after a person stops using alcohol. The detox phase may include seizures, hallucinations and delirium tremens. The patient must be kept under proper observation.
2. Rehabilitation: This step includes proper counseling and medications to provide the person with skills and motivation to remain sober. This can be done by making him an inpatient or outpatient, depending on the condition of the patient.
3. Maintaining sobriety: This is the most important step where a person's self-will is tested. He needs to stay away from alcohol after getting out of rehabilitation for which he requires support. Meetings conducted by the Alcoholic Anonymous should be attended regularly by a recovering alcoholic.

For people in the early stage of alcoholism, discontinuing alcohol may cause several withdrawal symptoms such as poor sleep and anxiety. For long term alcoholics, severe withdrawal symptoms are experienced, which include shaking of the body, spasms, hallucinations and panic.

Medication
Several medicines may be required in the recovery period of an alcoholic.
Anti-anxiety medicines such as benzodiazepines are used for treating withdrawal symptoms like poor sleep. The medicines are usually used in the detoxification period. After this phase, they are discontinued.
For maintaining sobriety and to abstain from alcohol, several medicines are given to recovering alcoholics. A drug known as disulfiram is used after the completion of the detox period. This medicine reacts with alcohol metabolism and causes a person to vomit, become confused, have blurry vision and experience difficulties in breathing after consuming alcohol.

A medicine called naltrexone may be used for reducing alcohol craving. It can be prescribed even when a person drinks. It is given in the form of an injection. Antidepressants are also given to patients to reduce anxiety and depression.

Other ways to deal with alcoholism
Several other instructions must be strictly followed by a recovering alcoholic to avoid relapse. They are as follows:
1. People and places related to drinking should be avoided, and a person should make new nonalcoholic friends.
2. Support groups and AA meeting must be attended regularly for motivation.
3. Dependence on alcohol should be eliminated by starting different activities and getting involved in things.

Alcoholism is a severe problem, which may lead to death in case of extremities. Alcoholism can ruin a person's life, and proper measures must be taken to eliminate alcoholism.

Ways to Deal With Alcoholism

There is a wide range of remedies that are available to treat depression in young adults. While there is no proven way of treating depression, broadly there are three approaches that is psychological, medical and natural. The key is to know the cause of depression. Once the cause is known, a qualified professional decides the course of treatment.

Psychological Treatment: Psychological treatments revolve around talking with the patient and change the way he thinks. It equips an individual to cope up with stress, depression and conflicts. The three most popular treatment approaches are CBT, IPT and MBCT.

1. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is an approach where the behavioral pattern of the patient is analyzed and a certain change in behavior is suggested to deal with depression. CBT is a problem-solving approach where a psychologist first analyzes the problem and helps a patient to see the problem from a more positive aspect. 

2. Interpersonal therapy (IPT) deals with problems related to personal relationships. It analyses the relationship pattern of a patient and specifically addresses them to drive away depression. 

3. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is a group activity and encourages a patient to express their feelings. The idea is to share as much as a patient can. It helps the mind to focus on the present rather than wondering it to something irrelevant that causes depression.

Medical treatment: Medical treatment deals with depression with the help of antidepressants. Medication depends on the level of depression. For more serious depression, such as psychosis and bipolar disorder, a doctor often prescribes psychotic drugs along with antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Medical treatment is suggested only when psychological treatment fails. A patient might have to get admitted in a good facility for a short time or full period of the treatment.

The natural treatment: It is related to lifestyle changes and helps a patient overcome depression. It can be followed along with other forms of treatment. Some good practices are as follows:

1. A good diet: A healthy diet often helps to fight depression. Serotonin rich food such as coconut oil, fish oil, eggs, cherries, Omega-3 acid greatly helps in fighting depression.

2. Stay away from Caffeine: Any caffeine related products such as coffee, cigarettes or liquor should be avoided during the depression.

3. Meditation: Meditation greatly helps in overcoming depression. It offers the much-needed piece of mind and helps to concentrate more.

4. Daily exercise: It has been observed that regular physical activities such as walking, running and free hand exercise can be of great help in overcoming depression. It uplifts mood and reduces stress.

5. Pumpkin seeds: Pumpkin seeds contain important elements such as magnesium, healthy fat, amino acid and L-tryptophan. Pumpkin seeds help to secrete serotonin and serotonin, in turn, help in fighting depression.

How to Treat Depression in Young Adults?

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