While some people see tears as a sign of weakness, for others crying is a crucial way of dealing with grief. Though as children we re told not to cry and to  keep a hold  of our emotions, letting go of a few tears can help alleviate grief and emotional distress. 

Here are a few reasons crying could be a good idea when dealing with loss.

Crying can stimulate the release of endorphins: Crying cleanses the mind of negative emotions and allows you to express your emotions. Crying can be described as a reaction to pain and in order to control pain, the body releases endorphins. Endorphins are also known as happy hormones as they block the transmission of pain signals and create a sense of contentment. These chemicals can take a little time to have an effect and hence in most cases, you will notice an improvement in your mood after a good cry.
Crying elevates the mood: Crying can help reduce your body s manganese levels. A higher than normal manganese level can heighten anxiety, irritability, tiredness and emotional disturbances. By lowering manganese levels, the brain is left with enough space for happier emotions and hence crying can help elevate a person s mood.
Crying stimulates the body s parasympathetic nervous system: The parasympathetic nervous system controls a number of functions including heart rate. Crying can stimulate this system and trigger a state of relaxation. For this reason, you may feel sleepy after crying. This gives your body time to relax and deal with the problem at hand with a calmer mind.
Crying helps deal with stress: A stressful experience or emotional situation can cause a build-up of stress hormones known as cortisol. As the levels of cortisol increase in the body, it goes into flight or fight mode as an automatic response to stress. Crying reduces the cortisol levels and helps relieve tension and stress almost immediately.
Crying is cathartic: Every day we are exposed to conflicts and stressful situations that can build up into resentments and leave a person feeling anxious and depressed. Sometimes, giving vent to emotions and crying can help release these pent-up feeling and heap cleanse the mind of these negative emotions. Crying also allows us to open ourselves up to the people around and can improve the levels of intimacy between them. In this way, it can help a person become part of a community.

Crying - Can it Help You Overcome Sadness?

Borderline personality disorder (bpd) is a mental illness. A patient suffering from bpd maintains unstable relationships with other people, shows inappropriate emotional reactions and possesses suicidal or self-harm tendencies. It is purely a personality disorder caused due to multiple factors. Patients suffering from bpd may find it difficult to stay alone. They fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life.

It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with bpd.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

The signs of suffering from bpd are listed below:

Intense and frantic effort to avoid abandonment or loneliness
Unstable relationships with people and changing the attitude towards them drastically. It can change from being in immense love with each other to intense hatred.
Developing paranoid thoughts and having dissociative feelings-the patient often lacks the feeling of self and suffers from identity crisis.
Suicidal feelings and attempts
Tendency to cause self harm or destruction by drug abuse, driving irresponsibly or be having unprotected sex
Reflecting intense depression
Chronic boredom
Sudden anger and hostility
Causes for borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder can be caused due to multiple reasons. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.

Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for bpd. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis.

There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose bpd. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Treatment.

The treatment of bpd involves three steps- psychotherapy, medications and support from peer and family. Dialectical behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are used in treating the patient. There are no specific medicines to cure identity crisis, boredom and loneliness. However, other symptoms like mood swings, depression and anxiety can be treated with anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Antipsychotic drugs are also helpful to a certain extent. In extreme cases, hospitalization may be needed.

A Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

PTSD or post traumatic stress disorder is a confusion that develops in a few people who have encountered a shocking, unnerving, or dangerous event. It is natural to be scared during and after a traumatic event. Fear triggers numerous brief and instant changes in the body to protect us from the threat or to stay away from it. Here are a few myths and facts about PTSD:

Myth 1: Everyone who has been through a life threatening event will develop PTSD.
Fact: In reality, a great many people who are exposed to such events will not get PTSD in most of the cases, and a lot of them see a decrease in the symptoms gradually over the months or even days. The number of individuals who may be diagnosed after an event that can result in PTSD ranges from under ten percent of people after twelve months of exposure to general trauma. Where as, thirty seven percent of the individuals are exposed to deliberate trauma.

Myth 2: People who are weak, get PTSD.
Fact: It is not clear why a few people get PTSD and others do not. Women are twice as prone to be determined to have it than men are, however, women will probably have numerous mental issues since they will probably look for help, and accordingly get an analysis. Individuals who are presented to interpersonal injury, for example, rape or fighting, will probably have more pronounced PTSD symptoms than survivors of mishaps, accidents or natural disasters.

Myth 3: After a specific measure of time, one should be over the trauma.
Fact: Depending on the nature of the trauma, it might stick around. Furthermore, in some cases, a person may seem to get over it. However, something triggers the recollections and they get tormented by symptoms again. Additionally, as individuals age, the movement that keeps the long-term memory far away from the brain, starts to diminish, exposing the person with seasoned recollections.

Myth 4: The trauma was such a long time ago that it is past the point where it is possible to recover from the trauma.
Fact: The good news is that it is never past the point where it is possible to address your shock or trauma. In fact, most of the patients are middle-aged child sexual abuse survivors. There is a great deal of reasons that somebody would hold back from getting treatment, yet the decades isolating them from their trauma are not an obstruction by any means.

Myth 5: I should have the capacity to handle this myself.
Fact: Frequently it takes more strength to get help than to battle alone, especially for specific events. Cases of individuals who might be particularly hesitant to connect include men who have been conditioned by the society to not express sentiments or show helpless. Marginalised people have a more troublesome time looking for somebody who can relate to them. 

Myths and Facts About PTSD!

When it comes to the effects of alcohol, the liver is the most talked about the organ. However, this is not the only part of the body affected by alcohol. Alcohol can also affect your cardiovascular health. This effect is determined largely by the quantity of alcohol being consumed. In restricted amounts, alcohol can in fact be beneficial but in large amounts, it can be the cause of a number of heart health issues. Let s take a look at both sides of the coin.

The Good
For women over the age of 45 years, drinking a small amount of certain types of alcohol such as red wine can be good for the heart. It protects the heart against damage to the arteries by increasing the good cholesterol levels. This prevents the narrowing of arteries by reducing the amount of fat deposited on the arterial walls. Good cholesterol also helps lower the level of bad cholesterol and fights against its ill effects.

Alcohol also reduces the ability of platelets to stick together by increasing the amount of fibrinogen produced by the liver. Thus, it prevents the formation of blood clots an in turn heart attacks caused by them.

The Not so Good
The ill effects of alcohol consumption overshadow its benefits. Drinking heavily over an extended period of time can increase your risk of heart disease. It increases blood pressure that can further trigger a stroke or heart attack. Alcoholism can also lead to weight gain that again causes an increase in blood pressure.

Excessive alcohol consumption also weakens the heart muscles. This condition is known as cardiomyopathy. As the heart muscles grow weaker, they cannot pump blood efficiently and the heart may fail and cause premature death.

Binge drinking can cause a condition known as Holiday Heart Syndrome. It is characterized by severe pain in the center of the chest, increased blood pressure, irregular heartbeats and breathlessness. It may make the person feel as though they were experiencing a heart attack. The term was coined as this condition was seen more commonly during the holiday season when people tend to drink more heavily.

Thus, if you want to enjoy a long, healthy life, avoid alcohol or drink in moderation. For women, this means one drink a day while for men; consumption should be limited to two drinks a day. If you have an existing heart condition or a history of strokes, alcohol should be avoided completely. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Alcohol Intake and Heart Health - Know The Link!

Brain health is essential for people of all ages. Of late MIND and DASH are two popular approaches that are leading the way dietary requirement for brain health. MIND stands for Mediterranean Intervention for Neurodegenerative Delay whereas DASH stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. Both the approaches argue that diet plays a crucial role in maintaining overall brain health. Here is a list of 8 diet changes that can boost the brain health without having to take any other brain supplements:

Leafy green vegetables: Leafy vegetables are tried and tested source of natural brain tonic. Vegetables such as spinach, kale, collard greens and arugula should be thoroughly washed and chopped. They can be consumed with salads, pasta, and soups.
Pulses: Pulses such as lentils, beans and peas can be consumed with salads to maintain brain health. Alternatively, they can be consumed along with burgers to give it a twist. They can also be used to make patties. A mixture of black beans, onions and peppers can be mashed along with some spices to form the main entr e of the patties.
Whole grains: A batch of brown rice, quinoa, oats or faro can be prepared and consumed to upgrade brain health. While grains comprises of fibre and makes for a very fulfilling meal. Whole grain can be prepared in batches so that it can be consumed throughout the week along with salad and soup.
Home-made snacks: A snack made from walnuts, pumpkin, almonds and pistachios can serve as a quick snack during long drives and small breaks in between meetings. A small portion of these snacks will not only boost brain health but give a sense of fulfilment.
Berries: Frozen berries are known to be extremely beneficial for brain health. They can be mixed with smoothies and consumed during breakfast and or in the form of snacks. Berries are a nice addition to oatmeal as well.
Olive oil: the butter or the refine oil can be traded with olive oil while preparing vegetables and meats. It can also be used as a base for homemade vinaigrettes. Olive oil serves the purpose of good health and has hardly any side effect on the body.
Poultry items: One can become a lot creative when it comes to consuming poultry items. Chicken breasts for instance, when cooked with garlic and onion in a pressure cooker, can be a real agent for brain maintaining brain health. One can add some flavour and consume it along with sandwiches and salads.
Fish: One fish should be consumed once in every week. Salmon fish is known to have a great effect on mental health.

8 Diet Changes That Can Boost Your Brain Health

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

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