Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

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Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

Unlike what you may think, anxiety is a common emotional response in a situation where we are worried about an outcome. It is, in fact, beneficial to us as it keeps us alert and charged for a reaction. Anxiety disorder, however, comes when you lose control over your reaction and let it take control of your life in a way that disables you from living a normal life. 
The first thing to do as a positive step is to accept that you have a disorder. Mental health problems are as big as physical problems. Just like the body needs to be treated to cure a disease, the mind too can be treated to cure you of your problems. The next thing to do is to know what type of disorder you are suffering from to get specific treatment for it.

Connection between anxiety and depression:
Anxiety is not just incessant worrying. It is sometimes an obsessive compulsive disorder that can takeover your life or a terrifying phobia that can prevent you from doing things that are routine for others. Over a period of time, living with such a disorder can take an emotional toll leading to depression. 
The chances of developing depression in addition to anxiety is quite high. In fact, almost half of all people with major depression also suffer from severe and persistent anxiety. In many cases people suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and anxiety are also victims of depression.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression disorder
Constant fear and worry
Loss of interest in normal life, hobbies and activities
Insomnia and fatigue with inability to relax
Panic attacks
Feeling of sadness and worthlessness

Coping with anxiety and depression disorder
The first and most important thing to know is that both conditions are treatable and patients who get regular care, medication and support from friends and family can come back to living a normal life. Here are some of the treatments available:

1. Medication: Taking proper medication is very important as it acts quickly and is quite safe. Most people do not take medication, such as sleeping pills, fearing they might get addicted to them, which is a myth. Also, medications prescribed by your doctor are safe and specific that is why they have been prescribed.

2. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): It is used to first figure out what the cause behind the anxiety or depression. It is then used to teach people to manage their fears, anxieties, and depressive symptoms and also learn how to take control of their emotions. Another therapy used for treating depression is Emotive Behaviour therapy.

3. Lifestyle modification: In order to overcome, anxiety and depression, certain lifestyle changes are required, such as one should exercise daily at least for 30 minutes and eat a healthy diet.

4. Counselling: Counselling helps the person to overcome the oppressive thoughts and cope up with the feeling of worthlessness.

5. Group therapy: Knowing you are not alone with your pains and fears can often come as a big relief. Not only will the patient benefit from joining a local support group, the care giver will also learn how to cope with the developments of the disorder and how they can continue to provide care and support to their loved ones.

How to Cope with Anxiety and Depression Disorder

You may think that it is just a harmless drink or two at the end of the day to help you relax. it's just a few drinks when you get together with friends. or it's just that you need to get rid of the office stress. We all need to catch a break sometimes, which makes our favorite brand of drink our best friend. Trouble starts when 'a drink or two' moves to a level where you can't hold the drink anymore. It affects your ability to think straight and take decisions that you may regret in retrospect. Alcoholism not only has serious health consequences but also can ruin your life and relationships. Don't tread down the path of self destruction, or this is what you'll find:
1.        Conflict: It is not a coincidence that fights are common when one or both partners are caught up with alcohol abuse. It is said that if there is too much alcohol in your system, it hampers with your ability to make rational decisions. It allows you to become inconsiderate about others, and give more importance your addiction over their requirements. It, to an extent, numbs you to what others feel, and makes you drink even more.
2.        Financial loss: Alcohol costs money. And the more you spend to keep up with your addiction, the more money flows out of your monthly household expenses, monthly savings and retirement plans. And this money literally goes down the drain. Like any other addiction, once you start alcohol abuse, you need it everyday. Drinking may go on to impact your ability to hold on to your job as no one will eventually want to hire someone who has alcohol on their breath at 9 am during client meetings. Alcohol is a strict restriction in certain professions where you may put other people at risk. At the very best, you'll be left with a warning. At the worst, you'll lose your job and end up with no work and no money to support your addiction.
3.        Accident prone: In 2014, 9,967 people died in drunk driving crashes - one every 53 minutes. This may sound only like a statistic to you - until you speak to the families who lost their loved ones or have to see them suffer through loss of limbs or brain function to bear lifelong suffering. And as far as you are concerned, you may end up seeing the wrong end of a prison. Such things have a profound impact on your relationship - many of which fail to last through the ordeal. 
4.        Infidelity: You've seen it a thousand times in movies - which actually might get reflected in reality, if you wake up next to someone whose name you don't know. 
5.        Infertility: Alcohols and babies don't mix. Too much alcohol intake can stop women from making and keeping a baby. 
6.        Divorce: An alcoholic husband or wife is a valid ground of mental trauma applicable in a divorce. 

6 Ways How Alcohol Abuse Can Ruin Your Relationship

Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.

3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Raising your Children with High Self Esteem

Stress happens when the demands placed on you are too much and cause a burden on you, for example, work, school or relationships surpass your capacity or ability to adapt. Sometimes stress can be a little beneficial in the form of a support that gives the drive to some people to get their work done on time and meet due dates and deadline. However, an extraordinary measure of stress can create health and well-being issues. They can lead to problems in cardiovascular and central nervous systems and take a serious emotional problem.

Untreated and chronic stress can bring about serious health conditions including tension, sleeping disorder, muscle pain, hypertension and a weak immune system. Stress can fuel other diseases and disorders, for example, heart diseases, depression and obesity most of the times. By discovering positive, healthy and solid ways to oversee stress as it happens, a significant number of these negative wellbeing outcomes can be decreased. Here are five effective ways to manage stress:

Take a break from the stress: It might appear to be hard to divert yourself from a major work schedule. However, when you give yourself consent to step away from it, you let yourself have sufficient energy to accomplish something else, which can help you have another viewpoint or practice methods to feel less stressed. It is critical not to ignore the stress factor. However, even twenty minutes to yourself is useful.
Workout: Exercise benefits your emotions and brain along with your body. We continue finding out about the long term advantages of a normal exercise schedule. In any case, even a ten or fifteen-minute walk, run, swim or yoga session during an unpleasant time can give a quick impact that can keep you going for a few hours.
Laugh and try to stay happy: Our brains are interconnected with our feelings and outward appearances. When individuals are stressed, its shows up on their face. So laughter can alleviate some of that pressure and enhance the circumstance.
Get social backing: Try to call a friend or send an email to someone regarding your problems. When you impart your worries or sentiments to someone else, it helps calm the stress. In any case, it is critical that the individual whom you converse with is somebody whom you trust and someone who can understand and accept you. In case that your family is the stressor, for instance, it may not ease your stress in which case, you may need a friend.
Meditate: Meditation and prayer can help the brain and body to unwind and concentrate properly. It can help people see new points of view, create self-sympathy and forgiveness. While practising meditation, individuals can discharge feelings that may have been bringing about physical pain. Much like a workout, research has demonstrated that practising meditation can prove to be very helpful.

5 Effective Ways to Manage Stress

Addiction not only includes physical things we consume, such as drugs or alcohol, but also includes virtually anything, such abstract things as gambling to seemingly harmless products, such as chocolate, etc. In other words, addiction may refer to a substance dependence (e. G. Drug addiction) or behavioral addiction (e. G. Gambling addiction).

Causes

There is a link between the repeated uses of an addictive substance and how the human brain experience pleasure, its use has a nice reward, leading to further and more frequent use. The addictive substance, be it nicotine, alcohol or some drug actually causes physical changes in some nerve cells in the brain. After a while, the user of the potentially addictive substance does not get the same pleasure and has to increase the dose, as his/her body's tolerance to it increases. Eventually, the user no longer experiences pleasure from the substance and takes it simply to prevent withdrawal symptoms taking the substance just makes them feel normal. When tolerance increases, the risk of addiction is much greater.

Signs and symptoms

A person starts to show symptoms when a person takes the substance, such as nicotine, alcohol etc. And has given a serious attempt to stop, but is unable to do so because of the withdrawal symptoms. The body of an addict will go in withdrawal state when once the level of the substance abused is below a certain level. When a person goes in withdrawal state it will show signs, such as craving, bouts of moodiness, bad temper, poor focus, extreme temperament, poor focus, continuous feeling of depression, emptiness, frustration, anger, bitterness and resentment. Apart from these the addict will also display symptoms such as increased appetite, insomnia, constipation, and diarrhea. Withdrawal caused by some substances can also trigger signs like violence, seizures, hallucination, sweating and trembling, etc. However, the addiction continues despite health problem awareness. An addicted person commonly feels they need their drug in order to deal with their problems.

Investigation of addiction

Blood test is advised to determine whether the substance is still in the blood (whether the substance has been taken recently). Dsm criteria for substance dependence that is a patient diagnosed with substance dependence (an addiction) must meet criteria laid out in the dsm (diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders), a manual published by the american psychiatric association.

What you can do?

Acknowledge the problem and consult for help from an expert. Family members must be supportive in creating a congenial environment for the addicted person.

Role of homeopathy in management of addiction

The first step for the addicted person is to acknowledge that there is a substance dependency problem (addiction problem). The next step is to get help. In most of the world there are several support groups and professional services available. Treatment options for addiction depend on several factors, including what type of substance it is and how it affects the patients. Typically, treatment includes a combination of inpatient and outpatient programs, counselling (psychotherapy), self-help groups, pairing with individual sponsors, and medication.

Talking of medication, homoeopathy definitely has a major role to play in the de-addiction journey of a'patient. Over the years it has been seen that homeopathy has produced tremendous results in such cases. People have approached for quitting alcohol, smoking, drugs, etc. And majority of them have been wonderfully helped by homoeopathy. Those who haven't achieved desirable results have either lacked willingness or conviction on their own part, or have had a non-congenial and non-co-operative environment at home and work place. For any de-addiction plan to be successful for a patient these 2 factors are the most important. A willing person with a co-operative and supportive environment is much more receptive and responsive to the medical treatment.

The commonest attacking area for any addictive substance is the central nervous system (cns). The substance inhibits the release of neurotransmitters, which are responsible for carrying nerve impulses. Once these neurotransmitters are inhibited in their normal functioning, a person develops delayed nervous responses and irregular nerve impulses leading to addiction. It is a vicious circle. So, as the centre of attack is the cns, a medical system that boosts and strengthens the cns would automatically prove beneficial in such dreadful cases. Homoeopathy is that very medical science! the homoeopathic medicines are absorbed through the nerve root endings of the tongue and directly hit the cns. There are some very powerful homoeopathic medicines, which have the ability to shake up the cns and work in a normal manner as it is used to be. These homoeopathic medicines, thus have the ability to develop control and also the power to abstain from the substance in later stages of the treatment.

But the first and foremost attempt is made to manage the withdrawal symptoms. It is the fear of the withdrawal symptoms only that a patient may lose conviction and confidence in him and give in to the indulgence once again. This is where the role of family and friends also comes in. When the struggle of 1 man becomes fight for the whole team; chances are very high of coming out victorious. There are brilliant medicines in homoeopathic science, which can help the person in managing and fighting with the withdrawal symptoms with ease. Medicines like nux vomica, kali phos, arsenic album, coffea cruda, aconite, gelsemium, argentum nitricum, ipecac, acid sulphurosum, caladium, daphna indica, quercus, etc. Have proved to be extremely effective in helping a person wean off completely of the addictive substances.

Mind the mind

Over the past two issues, we took up the burning problem of addiction as a mental illness, explored its, nature and probable causes that go into the making of an addict. The current issue is aimed at spreading awareness about the available evidence based psychological treatments for de-addiction.

1. Psychotherapy: also called as'talk therapy, is aimed at helping the patient to understand the link between their thoughts, feelings and behaviour so that the maladaptive ones can be replaced with more adaptive and productive processes. Interventions in terms of cognitive behaviour therapy (cbt), motivation enhancement therapy (met) and behaviour therapy are efficient in the treatment of addiction behaviour.

2. Craving control: use of certain medicines and behavioural techniques can help a person deal with the intense feelings of craving when it seems too much to bear. It gives a sense of greater control to the person over the substance, which in turn motivates him/her to stay away from using the substance. Many people report that they tend to continue the abuse the substance since they are unable to handle the period of intense craving, which can come all of a sudden.

3. Relapse prevention: arguably it is the most important component of de-addiction program. Leaving the substance is not that hard, but staying away from it is the most difficult part as reported by many patients with addiction. To ensure that the person stays clean and healthy without the substance, they are taught some techniques like asking for help whenever they feel the need to do the substance or staying away from potentially, dangerous situations, like going to party where alcohol is available. With therapy, the individual gains more confidence in his/her own abilities rather than depending on the substance for facing life situations. In addition to this, they also start enjoying their life without the substance. Both the patient and his/her family play an important part in this process hence they are educated about it and are advised regarding appropriate ways of ensuring sobriety for the patient.

4. Alcoholics anonymous (aa): it is a self-hellp group in which ex-alcoholics come together and share their experiences, for instance how they got into drinking, how it affected their life and now how they are maintaining their sobriety. These are mostly weekly sessions and have been found to be very effective in supporting the recovery of alcoholics to stay motivated and be clean without the use of alcohol. Similar to aa, there is na (narcotics anonymous for drug addicts) and al-anon (for the family members and friends of problem drinkers).

5. Yoga and exercise: a healthy daily routine with yoga or regular exercise promotes feelings of general well-being and ensures healthy mind and body. It detoxifies the body faster and even helps in recovering from the damage caused due to excessive substance use.

6. Social skill training: an important aspect for being away from drugs/alcohol is the ability to say no to such offers from others. Assertive behaviour, healthy communication pattern and good problem solving ability are skills that are taught to assist the person to stay healthy without feeling the need to take the substance.

One of the simplest, yet very powerful principles of staying healthy is'one day at a time! instead of making any long-term plans for staying sober, which might seem over-whelming and extremely difficult, just plan for that very day and decide to be clean without the substance.

Addiction: Signs and Symptoms

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