Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

Schizophrenia is a debilitating mental and emotional condition that is characterised by a heavily distorted thought process as well as hallucinations and even extreme fear that borders on paranoia. Let us find out more about this debilitating disease:

Causes:
1. Genetics: genetic factors play an important role in the development of schizophrenia.
2. Environment: possible environmental factors include obstetric complications, the mother's exposure to influenza during pregnancy or starvation. It has also been suggested that stress, trauma even migration can lead to the emergence of schizophrenia. 
3. Neurodevelopmental factors: schizophrenia appears to be a neurodevelopmental disorder. That is changes that cause the illness have been occurring from the earliest stages of development even in utero, and may continue to influence the development of the brain over the first 25 years of life. 

Symptoms: 
This disease has a variety of symptoms include cognitive and emotional ones that can vary in the degree and severity. One of the most common symptoms included hallucinations and delusions where the patient may end up imagining things that do not really exist. The patient may also be gripped by sudden and crippling fear like paranoia, which can be debilitating as far as everyday functioning of the person goes. The symptoms can also interfere with the way a person deals with situations and life skills on a cognitive basis. Withdrawal and hopelessness are also a part of this disease.

Treatment: 
The earliest signs and symptoms must be referred to a psychiatrist. The treatment involves the management of the case of an individual basis along with psychological rehabilitation programs and inclusion of the patient in self-help groups. Housing and employment programs must also be availed so as to keep the patient busy. Also, behaviour therapy will be required in such cases. The mode of counselling should usually be on a one on one basis, although many doctors also suggest that group therapy can help in showing examples of progress so as to encourage the patient to change and get a new lease of life.

Schizophrenia: Causes, Symptoms and Treatment

How to brush off stress from your life

Current lifestyle is such that stress becomes inevitable. But you might be aware how disastrous stress can be, it does take control of our lives. What one needs to consciously do is, take steps to address the stress that they are under. 
Here are simple and effective ways to do it.

1) indulge in physical activities - most of us have sedentary lifestyles which add to stress. While indulging in workouts won't take away your stress, what will happen is that there will be clarity in your thoughts, and your emotional intensity will come down, calming you.
2) believe every problem has a solution - it is easy to be scared of the problem and let it take control of your mind &amp; your life. Take control of them. Try to actively address your problem and look for solutions. When you act towards solving your problem, irrespective of the solution, your mind has more positive in it than stress.
3) give it away - meet people, socialize, and connect with other lives. This is actually going to solve half your problem. Not only will more things occupy your mind, and you will know of other people's problems too, but at times, sharing your stress problem warranties a quick solution!
4) treasure yourself - take some time for yourself and do what you love to do the most. Go to the spa, go shopping, read or just sleep. But make sure you have time away from work and daily chores, where you can rejuvenate your sense by doing what makes you the happiest. If nothing, meet up with friends.
5) indulge in volunteering work - helping others not only preoccupies your mind with problems of others rather than staying immersed in your own, but also helps you be more resilient. You will come out stronger and with more will to address your own issues.
6) try to stay positive all the time - appreciate what you have rather than concentrate on what you don't. Be thankful.
7) accept what you cannot change - however much we try to solve our problems, some things we cannot resolve right at the time. And there is no point in pondering over them. Accept that this is how things will be, and move on.

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How To Brush Off Stress From Your Life

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

We have a tendency to be our own worst critics. This affects your self-esteem that in turn affects how you live your life. Self-esteem can be defined as how a person feels about himself or herself and his or her abilities. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your self-esteem.

Make the right comparisons: It is human nature to judge yourself in comparison to other factors. However, comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. While one person may be great at outdoor sports, art may be another s strong suit. Find your own strengths. If you must compare, make a comparison on how you have progressed. If you like writing, look at how your style has evolved. Similarly, if you like a sport, look at the improvements you have made.
Set realistic goals: Whether its weight loss or career, it is important to set realistic and attainable goals. This should never be set in relation to another person. For example, setting a goal to get a promotion faster than your friend is a bad goal. Instead, set a timeline by when you want to reach the next step of your career. Ensure that these goals are realistic. You may have peers who have turned entrepreneurs but if you know that you do not have the necessary financial backing available, setting a goal to start up your own company may not be a good idea. Instead, if you do want to set up your own firm set a goal for the amount of money you need to put aside.
Focus on things you can control: There are some things we can control and others that we cannot. Do not focus on the latter. For example, you have little control over the education you received as a child. However, you do have control over the training and education you want to receive now. If you feel that you need to learn something more, take steps towards it. Merely saying that you did not go to a top school will not help.
Celebrate the small Stuff: Even small victories need to be celebrated. For a socially conscious person, simply going out for a cup of coffee with someone else is a victory. Similarly, booking online tickets could be a victory for a technologically challenged person. Celebrate these small things in life and you will soon be celebrating more things than dwelling on things you feel bad about.

Self Esteem - Ways You Can Enhance It!

The risks and harms of smoking are pretty much common knowledge to most people. Especially when the pack of cigarettes practically screams it out to you in bold letters. Yet, as statistics would say, smoking in young adults has been on the rise in the recent years. What makes them take this step? Maybe it is peer pressure, or maybe they do it for the thrill of it. Every country takes a great initiative in educating their population, yet some fail to understand the complexity of the situation.

Here are some of the reasons that will tell you that even a single puff of the deadly tobacco can severely harm your health and general well-being

Cigarette smoking is the leading cause of cancer. It can cause cancer in most organs of the body. Smoking cigarettes can cause the following
Nose cancer
Throat cancer
Larynx cancer
Mouth cancer
Oesophageal cancer
Lung cancer
Liver cancer
Cervix cancer
Stomach cancer
Kidney cancer
Colorectal cancer
Cervical cancer etc.
Smokers are more prone to respiratory diseases because smoking is capable of compromising the immune system of the body.
Autoimmune diseases such as Crohn s disease and Rheumatoid Arthritis are more likely to occur in smokers as their immune system is compromised by smoking.
Smoking has been linked to Diabetes type 2. This type of diabetes develops during adulthood. The more cigarettes a person smokes, the more likely is the person to develop this disease.
Smoking puts you at risk of developing several heart diseases such as angina, heart attacks, etc. because the nicotine in the body results in the lowering of good cholesterol. This causes deposition of bad cholesterol in the arteries.
Tobacco can cause tooth decay and several other oral problems such as gingivitis and other problems of the gum.
Cigarettes constrict your blood vessels. This constant narrowing of blood vessels can cause erectile dysfunction in men and leads to the infertility in both men and women. It also makes them difficult to achieve orgasms.
You might find yourself craving for cigarettes when you re stressed out. This is because the effect of nicotine in the cigarettes is lowered by the hormone produced during a stressful situation, i.e. cortisone.
Nicotine that causes momentary central nervous system stimulation can cause addiction and dependence.

How Smoking is Harmful For Your Health?

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