Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

Asperger's Syndrome or Asperger's Disorder is a neurotypical condition that affects the development of the child the effects of which continue into adulthood. This condition typically shows up as difficulties faced by the patient when it comes to social interactions as well as other nonverbal means of communication. It should not be confused with autism as the patient has no speech and cognitive development delay. 

Asperger's syndrome can show up as restricted and repetitive patterns in the behaviour of the patient. It lies at the higher end of the autism spectrum and the signs are usually less obvious. Here are a few ways with which you can effectively deal with someone who is suffering from this disorder.

1. Routine: The patient suffering from this condition will need a certain kind of stability as it is very difficult to predict what will happen in the near future or to even plan for it. The best way to tackle this scenario is with the help of a proper routine that can help the patient achieve some kind of control over the situation surrounding him or her so that he or she is better equipped and more capable of handling normal functioning and social situations as well.

2. Information: It is also a good idea to help these patients in looking at and in processing information. While normal people may easily be able to discard insignificant or unimportant information, the brain of the patient suffering from asperger's syndrome does not allow him or her to do so. In many cases, the patient is not able to filter the important and the unimportant information. This can debilitate many functions. So, it is important to be present to help the patient in making decisions and processing information that is actually relevant to his or her functioning.

3. Learning: One of the most crucial things to remember with the Asperger's patient is that they tend to understand and process things when they have a visual presentation rather than being told verbally. So showing them things practically in the proper manner is the right way to help them learn and process situations in a correct way. This will prevent them from doing things in the same old way even when their brains tell them that it will lead to wrong results.

4. Physical Abilities: Poor motor skills as well as lack of proper organisation skills are traits that usually characterise these patients. It is important to make them aware of this during games and activities that require management as well as use of social skills. For example, football and other such activities can be introduced in the routine. This will promote interaction with the team in order to play and enjoy the game.

How to Deal With a Patient Suffering From Asperger's Syndrome?

Effects of Smoking on Sexual Health

Smoking, in general, has a negative effect on the human body. It can cause a host of disorders such as mouth cancer, blood pressure problems, and lung cancer. Smoking affects the sexual performance of both men and women.

Here are some effects that smoking has on sex

1. Impotence: Smoking can damage the blood vessels that lead to erectile dysfunction (a condition where the penis cannot sustain an erection).

2. Decrease in libido: Smoking can cause various physical problems such as stamina reduction and lack of desire for sex. An individual who smokes won't be able to give an optimal sexual performance and this can further lower satisfaction levels.

3. Erectile dysfunction: Smoking can cause problems related to the circulation of the blood in the body. It can narrow the arteries that supply blood and this is directly linked with erectile dysfunction.

4. Tissue damage: Smoking can damage the tissues inside the penis thus impairing your ability to have an erection during sexual intercourse.

5. Early onset of menopause: It can affect the estrogen (a sex hormone) levels in the female body; so, women who smoke tend to reach menopause early.

6. Reduction in penis size: It can reduce the penis size in men by damaging the blood vessels and the structure of the tissue around the penis. This is more common in younger men.

7. Reduction in stamina: Smoking can cause a reduction in the stamina, thus a person will not be able to perform well sexually. It can lead to fatigue and tiredness during sex.

Of course, there are a lot of therapies which can help you recover from the damage already happened because of smoking and prevent further damage.

Does Smoking Affect Your Performance in Bed?

Bipolar disorder is a mental disease that is characterized by sudden changes in mood. People suffering from the condition may experience severe episodes called mania and the disorder can even cause depression among patients. Bipolar patients can also have difficulty maintaining relationships in their personal life, due to the unpredictable nature of their moods and behaviour.

Risk factors for bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder is associated with a number of risk factors such as the following:

  Genetics - People who have a family history of the condition. Particularly, if an individual s siblings and parents suffer from the disorder, they face a greater risk.
  Environment - Stressful or traumatic events can lead to bipolar disorders as well. For instance, the death of a loved one may push people off the edge and lead to the mental affliction.
  Brain structure - People with certain brain structures may be at a higher risk from the bipolar disorder



Symptoms of bipolar disorder

Three main symptoms characterize bipolar disorder- mania, hypomania and depression. Each of these symptoms can lead to rapid mood swings in a person suffering from bipolar disorder.

  Mania

Mania is an episode where the person suffering from the disorder starts to feel extremely high in terms of emotion. They become hyperactive, excited and even euphoric. During such an episode, people are also liable to engage in drug use.

  Hypomania

Hypomania is similar to mania but is not as severe. Hypomania only affects people suffering from bipolar II disorder. Even though hypomania may not be noticeable to people around the patient, the person affected may notice an unexpected change in their moods.

  Depression

Depression is just opposite of what mania is. It manifests a feeling of hopelessness, lethargy, remorse. Suicidal thoughts also accompany most cases of depression. Even though depression can be caused as a separate condition, people affected with bipolar disorder undergo periodic depression and mania, which can be even more difficult to handle.

Treatment for bipolar disorder

Contemporary medicine does not have a cure for bipolar disorder as of now. However, with proper medication and therapy, a patient suffering from the mental illness can manage the symptoms and reduce the mood swings. Aside from medications, such as antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilizers, patients may be prescribed psychotherapy as well.

Cognitive behavioural therapy and psycho-education are vital parts of the treatment. The former is basically a talk therapy session between the psychologist and the patient, while the latter looks to educate the patient and their families about the bipolar disorder and ways of living with the condition.

Creating a strict routine for daily life activities can also help deal with the disorder and reduce the symptoms.

Mood Swings - Are They The Signs Of Bipolar Disorder?

Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

Binge drinking is a problem that has been noticed nowadays in many teenagers and youngsters. Whether it is at an event or a party, drinking high doses of alcohol in one sitting is known as binge drinking. 

Binge Drinking in Women Is Different from Men 

Binge drinking for men is the consumption of more than five alcoholic beverages in one sitting. But the case is different for women. For women binge drinking is defined as a woman consuming more than four alcoholic beverages in a single sitting. Also, it has been found in a survey that almost 75% of the binge drinkers are college students. Among these, the ratio of men is much higher than women. 

What Leads to Binge Drinking? 

Lack of control: One of the most common reasons is, of course, the lack of control. When such a person comes in contact with alcohol, they tend to over drink because they have no control over their drinking. 
The weekend fun: Secondly, another reason is seen in the case of youngsters between the age of 18 years to 35 years. These are youngsters who have a tendency of meeting friends and going out on weekends after the week s toil. They know that after this weekend they will be able to enjoy their favorite bottle only in the next weekend. Hence, they binge drink. 
Results of Binge Drinking 

It becomes difficult to check how much alcohol will affect a person, because it depends on various factors, such as height, weight, age and also at times, alcohol tolerance of the person. But of course, there are some common results of binge drinking. Some of such results are: 

Unintended and unprotected sex leading to pregnancy or even STD in some cases 
Accidents that may lead to severe injuries and even death at times
Physical or mental assault of others that the person may regret later on. 
When Is Help Required? 

When the person has a habit of driving after drinking, neglecting family and doing harm to others as well, help is surely needed. Here, short 4-5 sessions with a therapist may help. A regular drinking habit is no doubt a reason to worry. But binge drinking is another reason that can lead to bigger problems and hence, needs to be examined closely too.

Does Your Friend/Relative Have Binge Drinking Problems?

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