Can true love happen more than once?

The world revolves around love. Our movies, books, stories, ambitions, desires, anything and everything, is guided by the magical power of love. Shahrukh khan famously said in his movie kuch kuch hota hai, that 'love can only happen once'. Is that true or, can true love happen more than once?

The question occurs more often than not when someone is going through a breakup, or when people wait and stay single, guided by the belief that there is only one perfect person for everyone, who would give them a happily ever after.

Let's see what truth really is.

There is no set algorithm or formula to say how many partners one can actually sustain in a lifetime. That depends on the idea of love individually for different people. Some people after a failed relationship give up the fight, and give up on the idea of love too, thinking that they had gotten once chance, and they blew it. While on the other hand, some people move on from one relationship to another, investing equally in every relationship, and never losing hope on finding their happiness.

The notion of just one love per lifetime may have been imbibed in us by the society that promotes monogamy. Insisting that it is morally correct for a couple to always stand by each other, no matter how incompatible they may be.

But the more pressing reason for the above notion is fear. The fear of falling in love again, and losing at it again, stops many people from even considering that as an option. There is a comfort in thinking that you tried your hand at love, but failed, and thus, never trying again will never let you suffer from the inexplicable pain that the failed love left you with.

However, we as humans, having the ability to connect with our family and friends, are designed to love more than one person in our lives. So it is clear that we are capable of falling in love again. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and truly so.

There are many people out there who you will be able to connect with, feel immensely happy around, and feel at home with. The thought that there is only one perfect person for everyone is not just restrictive, but also unhealthy. If you feel too damaged to love again or too scared to love even for the first time, try to look at the feeling logically than emotionally. Try to assess your compatibility with the person; see if your interests match, see what differentiates you both that'll help you both grow; see if you are able to picture a future with them, and so on.

Sometimes our past baggage or our fears clog our judgment. We all deserve second chances in life, and hence, we deserve a second, or even a third or fourth chance at love. So, do not stop at one failed relationship. Go out and seek love again in a person who is able to provide you with a more fulfilling and emotionally satisfying relationship.

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Is Shahrukh correct when he says 'Love can happen only once'?

For human beings, the body is considered the temple, one that they strive to keep fit and in shape. In fact, the plethora of ailments, which people complain of suffering from, almost always deal with their physical health. In this over engagement to restore the physical health, the well being of the mental health is never considered. However truth remains that the health of the mind is equally if not more important and must be given its share of priority. With the growing age and times, depression has emerged as a gnawing problem, one that is plaguing individuals indiscriminately and one that must be eradicated as soon as possible. 
Some of the ways to combat this fatal ailment are: 

1. Exercises 
Everyday a bit of exercise not only keeps the body fit and healthy, but also goes a long way in easing and calming the mind. You need not indulge in strenuous exercises, but must make it a conscientious habit to work out a bit daily.

2. Talk to people
Though depression makes one inexorably quiet and silent, the first thing that is prescribed as a remedial measure is talk to people. Engaging in conversations with people, telling them what exactly is troubling you are proven ways to combat depression.

3. Meditate 
There is no better way to treat mental ailment than meditating.  When you suffer from depression, your body undergoes severe conflict. Meditating not only calms the mind, but also soothes away the worries.

4. Develop a support system
Depression is almost always followed by an unfathomable sense of loneliness. Talking to others does help, but at the same time try to develop a support system. Find an individual, be it parents, relatives or friends and confide in him or her. Not sharing what you are going through is never a solution and only exacerbates the fatality of the situation.

5. Change the daily routine
Monotony is never exciting and it is only time, before the humdrum of life gets to you. Changing the daily routine and incorporating something new and exciting go a long way in recuperating you from the mental dullness and fatigue.

Tips to Combat Depression

Did you know that almost all of your nerves converge in your feet and that your foot is the most sensitive part of the human body? Did you also know that if there are any complications to your body, then the feet can show the symptoms indirectly? Science has time and again proved this and it is high time that you give the adequate care for your feet.

This is nowhere explained better than in ancient Ayurveda, where it emphasises the importance of foot massage and the need to strengthen the nerves. Ayurveda has a long traditional foot massage therapy called as  Padabhyanga  which can be traced back to more than 5000 years. The foot massage with essential oils would improve blood and lymphatic circulation, nourishes the skin, and calms the restless mind.

Foot massaging can relax the muscles of the feet and legs, it can also help in relieving stress and anxiety. Just like how the tree gets their nourishment from their roots, channelling a proper foot massage can rejuvenate the entire mind and body.  Let us look at in detail.

What is Padabhyanga?

The word Padabhyanga comes from the two Sanskrit words  Pada+abhyanga   Pada  means foot and  Abhyanga  means massage. It is one of the most calming and soothing massage therapy and can keep your mind and soul revitalised if done in a proper way. Participating in this massage therapy daily can allow you to release the clogged energies.

3 Types of Padabhyanga Massage:

The massage can be segregated into three different types as detailed below.

Padabhyanga with hand: This type of massage is the fundamental form of massage and is basically done by your hand in the rubbing and stroking of foot. The heat is generated by it and the cardiovascular circulation gets activated. The massage uses sesame seed oil generally and in some cases even herbal infused oil is also used for a better cure.
Padabhyanga with kasa bowl: In this type of massage, a Kasa bowls with oil coating are wormed. Then the bowl s round surfaces are used to massage the foot and sole in a circular motion. The kasa bowls are generally made of copper and tin. Massaging in such a manner can eliminate toxins and it can also release negative energies from your body.
Padabhyanga marma therapy: This type of therapy is very similar to acupuncture, where the pressure points of your feet are activated. These are called as marma points and special care is taken to make sure that these marma points are activated by pressing them over a small period of time. The therapy releases negative energy and relaxes your mind with rejuvenation.

Foot Massage - How It Can Help Relieve Stress?

Bipolar mood disorder, otherwise called manic depressive disorder or manic depression, is a genuine and serious mental problem. It is a disorder that can lead to unsafe conduct, damaged relations and career, and even self-destructive inclinations if it is not treated properly and on time.

Bipolar disorder is portrayed by outrageous changes in the state of mind, from mania to depression. Between these mood swings, a man with bipolar disorder may encounter normal moods as well. Here is how it can affect a relationship:

Bipolar disorder can turn into an issue from the very begin of a relationship. Exploring any sentimental relationship - whether it is dating or marriage - can be a risky attempt. Including bipolar disorder with its crazy ride of feelings in with the general problems in a relationship, and connections can turn out to be all the more difficult.
However, not everybody with bipolar disorder encounters the state of mood swings of depression and mania, but when those scenes do happen, they can destroy a relationship.
During the hyper stage, a person can lose his or her feeling of judgment. That implies spending all their money carelessly, breaking rules, and taking part in dangerous practices like medication and liquor abuse. When you have a partner with the bipolar issue who gets into a hyper stage, it can be extremely harmful to a great degree for the relationship since they might do things that hurt you or may trouble you financially.
Any number of things, from work problems to financial issues, can lead to fights and put a strain on a marriage. However, if one of the partners has a bipolar disorder, simple stressors can trigger their mood swings. That might be the reason why around ninety percent of the relations and marriages with a bipolar partner, fail.
Having a relationship when you live with bipolar disorder is troublesome. Nevertheless, it can surely be dealt with. It takes the efforts of both the partners to make it work.
The initial step is to get diagnosed and treated for your condition. Your specialist can give you hormone balancing drugs, for example, Lithium, with antidepressants to control your symptoms. Treatment with a clinician or psychologist is additionally vital. With treatment, you can figure out how to control the practices that are putting pressure on your relationship.

Here are a couple of different approaches to alleviate a portion of the weight on your relationship:

Take your medicine as recommended
Take a marriage education and counselling class
Manage your stress in different ways whether it is writing in a diary, taking long strolls, or listening to music
Attempt to adjust work with more calming exercises
Adhere to a customary rest cycle
Eat healthy and exercise frequently
Maintain distance from liquor and caffeine

Bipolar Mood disorder - Is It Hampering Your Relationship?

Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

Bipolar disorder is a mental disease that is characterized by sudden changes in mood. People suffering from the condition may experience severe episodes called mania and the disorder can even cause depression among patients. Bipolar patients can also have difficulty maintaining relationships in their personal life, due to the unpredictable nature of their moods and behaviour.

Risk factors for bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder is associated with a number of risk factors such as the following:

  Genetics - People who have a family history of the condition. Particularly, if an individual s siblings and parents suffer from the disorder, they face a greater risk.
  Environment - Stressful or traumatic events can lead to bipolar disorders as well. For instance, the death of a loved one may push people off the edge and lead to the mental affliction.
  Brain structure - People with certain brain structures may be at a higher risk from the bipolar disorder



Symptoms of bipolar disorder

Three main symptoms characterize bipolar disorder- mania, hypomania and depression. Each of these symptoms can lead to rapid mood swings in a person suffering from bipolar disorder.

  Mania

Mania is an episode where the person suffering from the disorder starts to feel extremely high in terms of emotion. They become hyperactive, excited and even euphoric. During such an episode, people are also liable to engage in drug use.

  Hypomania

Hypomania is similar to mania but is not as severe. Hypomania only affects people suffering from bipolar II disorder. Even though hypomania may not be noticeable to people around the patient, the person affected may notice an unexpected change in their moods.

  Depression

Depression is just opposite of what mania is. It manifests a feeling of hopelessness, lethargy, remorse. Suicidal thoughts also accompany most cases of depression. Even though depression can be caused as a separate condition, people affected with bipolar disorder undergo periodic depression and mania, which can be even more difficult to handle.

Treatment for bipolar disorder

Contemporary medicine does not have a cure for bipolar disorder as of now. However, with proper medication and therapy, a patient suffering from the mental illness can manage the symptoms and reduce the mood swings. Aside from medications, such as antipsychotics, antidepressants and mood stabilizers, patients may be prescribed psychotherapy as well.

Cognitive behavioural therapy and psycho-education are vital parts of the treatment. The former is basically a talk therapy session between the psychologist and the patient, while the latter looks to educate the patient and their families about the bipolar disorder and ways of living with the condition.

Creating a strict routine for daily life activities can also help deal with the disorder and reduce the symptoms.

Mood Swings - Are They The Signs Of Bipolar Disorder?

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