Smith and Mackie (2007) term self-esteem as a set of positive or negative opinions about oneself. Self-esteem is an important predictor of success in career, relationships, marriage and public life. People who are depressed have a very low self-esteem about themselves. They think of themselves as good for nothings and persons having a nil value. There are three states of self-esteem. They are;

Shattered: An example of a person having shattered self-esteem is when he says,  I am old and useless to do this kind of work . This person sees himself as an absolutely useless person.
Vulnerable: In this state, a slight embarrassment or defeat may expose the vulnerable side of the person. Otherwise, such persons have a positive frame of mind.
Strong: People in this state are very strong emotionally. Defeats, embarrassments etc. do not affect them. These people have a very high sense of self-esteem.
Psychologists, however, have prescribed several ways through which one can improve one s self-esteem.

How to improve one s self-esteem

Control your thoughts- Watch out what your inner critic is saying to you. Every time you hear its voice, ask yourself- would this be the way your best friend would speak to you? If your inner critic is being merciless on you all the time, you need to silence it.
Focus on the good things that happen to you- Everyday, write at least 3 good things that happened to you. Avoid the obstructive or harmful things that came your way. Focus on the happier side of the day. Do not dwell upon the negatives.
No need to be perfect- In the quest to be perfect, many people lose control of themselves. It probably must do with the pressures of modern life where achievement is the be all and end all. But, not everyone can be perfect. Rather, focus on the effort or process. This way, you will be better able to appreciate yourself as a person.
Accept mistakes- Often we fail to realise that mistakes come to us masked as opportunities. But, we are too fixated by the mistakes we commit. We are obsessed with the thought,  Why did I commit this mistake?  rather than,  How to avoid this particular mistake? . If we learn how to avoid committing mistakes, we will tremendously improve our self-esteem.
Experiment with new skills- Try out new skills and then improve upon them. For example, you may pick up music and track your achievement levels. If you continually improve yourself in this new skill, you will obviously set new benchmarks. Give credit to yourself after achievement of every new milestone.
Accept your limits- You are no superman. You have your own limits. Once you accept your limitations, you will stop blaming yourself for all the wrongs that are happening to you. 

Self Esteem - How Can You Improve It?

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

If you are a heavy drinker and consume excess alcohol, you may face severe consequences related to short-term and long-term health. Alcohol has several negative impacts and affects on your heart. Although occasional drinking does not cause much harm, excess drinking may lead to many heart complications. There are chances of the development of cardiovascular diseases in an alcoholic person.
Alcohol affects the heart in several ways. Binge drinkers are more prone to face these complications. A person who drinks alcohol regularly, drinks very fast and drinks much more than the recommended consumption limit during a single session is called a binge drinker.

Here the ways in which alcohol affects your heart:

Alcohol weakens the heart muscles: Heavy drinking for a long span of time tends to weaken the heart muscles. A condition known alcoholic cardiomyopathy may be caused. When the heart gets weakened, proper contraction gets disrupted and the heart is unable to pump sufficient amount of blood. Due to this, a person may experience certain symptoms such as tiredness, irregular heart rhythm, shortness of breath and swelling of the feet and legs. This can also lead to a heart failure.
Alcohol affects your heart beat rate: Binge drinking and regular drinking over a long period of time may affect the rate of the heart beat or how quickly the heart beats. Alcohol may cause the heart to beat too fast, and irregular beating is observed. This is a condition known as arrhythmias, which may have grave consequences on your health. If you are not a regular drinker but drink too much in a day, you could face this condition.
Alcohol can lead to high blood pressure and also cause a stroke: Binge drinking leads to increased blood pressure, also known as hypertension. The blood vessels become stiff, and this causes the pressure to rise in the arteries and veins. Heavy consumption of alcohol may also trigger several stress hormones to be released, which cause a constriction in the blood vessels. This leads to increased blood pressure. Hypertension may lead to a heart attack or stroke.
In order to reduce the negative impacts of alcohol on your heart and overall health, you must practice drinking in moderation. You must not drink more than fourteen units of alcohol in a single week. Consume these fourteen units in three to four parts instead of consuming it all at once. You should give gaps and avoid regular drinking.

Alcohol - How It Affects Your Health?

Are you a 'What-If' person? Kill anxiety in 4 easy ways

Thinking about dangers and risks is a normal phenomenon, it helps us to stay alert and to become a good problem solver. It’s only when worrying gets out of a person’s control, it turns into a problem. If a person is constantly preoccupied with “what-if " and keeps imagining worst-case scenarios, worry actually turns into the cause for high pulse rate, insomnia, poor mental and physical health. 

Here are 4 simple steps to cope with anxiety and worry.

1. Breathing technique: The first thing to do when you get anxious is to take deep breath. Deep breathing is a powerful anxiety-reducing technique because it activates the body’s relaxation response. Try slowly inhaling to a count of 5, filling your belly first and then your chest, gently holding your breath to a count of 5, and slowly exhaling to a count of 5 and repeat several times.

2. Accept that you’re anxious: Remember anxiety is just a feeling, like any other feeling, by reminding yourself that anxiety is simply an emotional reaction, you can start to accept it. Acceptance is critical because trying to eliminate anxiety often worsens it. But accepting your anxiety doesn’t mean liking it or resigning yourself to a miserable existence. It just means you would benefit by accepting reality as it is – and in that moment, reality means 'anxiety' you are feeling.

3. Question your worries. When people are anxious, most of the time their brains start coming up with all sorts of unrealistic ideas, which most likely will never occur. To avoid unnecessary worry, one should ask himself / herself a few questions like:
- Is there a reason to believe something is wrong?
- What evidence is there that something is wrong?
- If the worst possible outcome happens, what would be so bad about that?
- What are the options I can use to handle the situation at hand?


4. Focus on right now: When people are anxious, they are usually obsessing about something that might occur in the future. It is important that when a person becomes anxious, he/she takes a deep breath and pay attention to what’s happening right now, around them. Even if something serious is happening, focusing on the present moment will improve your ability to manage the situation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

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Are you a 'What-If' person? Kill anxiety in 4 easy ways

5 signs that you or your loved one may have bipolar disorder

Bipolar disorder is a condition where the patient may go through certain periods of extreme happiness and joy which is known as mania. On the other hand, there may be other periods where the patient may be extremely sad and depressed and even suicidal.

In some individuals, these phases may last quite long whereas, in others, they may change very quickly. However, there are certain common symptoms displayed by patients with bipolar disorder. Let's look at a few of them.

Feeling extremely happy, to the point of being careless

Certain patients, at the onset of bipolar disorder, will feel extremely happy and have their sense of judgment hampered. When patients feel very elated without proper context, or for very small reasons, it could be an indication that the person is experiencing mania.

Feeling extremely depressed

Similarly, on the other end of the spectrum, if a person feels extremely depressed without an appropriate reason, it may be due to bipolar disorder. Also, the severity of depression and the length of time for which a person experiences it is also an indicator of the condition.

Lack of interest in activities which formerly interested you

You may suddenly lose interest in an activity that genuinely interested you earlier. This may include your profession or hobbies.

Loss of appetite during the depression phases

During the phases of depression or sadness, which may sometimes last for months, a person may rapidly lose weight due to lack of interest in food. Even for patients who have shorter cycles of changes lasting for only a few weeks, this will be noticeable.

Extreme restlessness and lack of sleep during the manic phases

When the person enters a manic or happy cycle, it may trigger over enthusiasm, restlessness and lack of sleep. This, like the depression phase, will also vary from patient to patient and may continue for the entire duration of the phase. A jump from a depression cycle into this phase will be definitely noticed by others.

If a few of these symptoms are detected, then the patient should be taken to a mental health professional for appropriate treatment as soon as possible.



5 signs that you or your loved one may have bipolar disorder

Do you believe that the world is a hostile place and you are a victim? Are you the one who often doubts his or her abilities? If so, you might be showing signs of low self-esteem. Interestingly, self-esteem has nothing do with your actual ability or talent. Your looks, weight or skills are not responsible for your low self esteem. It largely depends upon the fact that how you value yourself.

It has been observed in most cases that self-esteem is often affected by a number of reasons, including ill-health, unpleasant memories from the past, and termination of relationships. Low self-esteem is generally marked in survivors of physical or sexual abuse, victims of racial discrimination or people who have had a traumatic past life.

If you don t pay attention towards this issue, you might end up developing certain serious mental disorders. Low self-esteem is also the root cause behind the occurrence of mental disorders like borderline personality disorder, depression, etc. However, there is nothing to worry about it. There are certain simple things that are useful in building up your self-esteem.

Here s all that you need to do to start believing in yourself and be confident about your capabilities:

1. Remember your strong points: Make three separate lists of your strengths; achievements and your qualities that you admire. Take help from your friends, parents and other well-wishers for preparing these lists. These lists will help you in understanding your abilities and goodness. You will be able to believe in your strengths. You must read through these lists at least once daily.

2. Be positive: Optimism and a positive approach towards life are the key to success. Your self-esteem is influenced by the fact that how you look at life. Life is not a bed of roses. It is unavoidable that you will have to face critical situations or problems in life. But, what is important is to face them with courage and a faith in your own abilities. Be positive and stop developing negative thoughts about yourself. Get rid of thoughts like  I am a loser ;  I can t get rid of this problem ; etc.

3. Take care of your body: Your outward appearance sometimes works wonders in lifting up your inner-self and spirits. Keep yourself clean, trim your beard or hairs; cut your nails; don t forget to floss your teeth and maintain overall personal hygiene to develop a feeling of goodness.

4. Sleep well: A good night s sleep is essential for boosting up your self - esteem.

5. Eat right: A balanced diet is a key to good health. Eating the right food in the right way keeps your mental and physical health all right. Include minerals and vitamins in your regular meals. Avoid distractions like television or radio while taking meals.

6. Exercise: Regular workouts keep you away from mental-ill health.

7. Be cool and comfortable first: When it comes to your dressing, try to put on attires that you can carry well. Wear stuffs that you love the most.

How to Build your Self Esteem?

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