HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Anger and temperamental issues are a very common part of a person s identity. It is there from birth and is thought to mirror the hereditary qualities. It can be permanently present or could be triggered in certain situations. Some people have a hot temperament than others. However, there are a few ways with which temperamental issues can be dealt with effectively. These are as follows:

Psychotherapy

Individual or group therapy sessions can be useful. A commonly utilised sort of treatment, psychological behavioural treatment treats people or groups with discontinuous unstable issues.
Distinguish which circumstances or practices may trigger a forceful reaction
Figure out how to overcome anger and control wrong reactions utilising procedures, for example, relaxing preparing, re-thinking circumstances (psychological rebuilding) and learning adapting attitudes.
Medicine
Distinctive types of medications may help in the treatment of temperamentally unstable issues. These medicines may incorporate certain antidepressants (particularly specific serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs), anticonvulsant mind-set stabilisers or different medications if necessary.

Controlling your outrage
Some portion of your treatment may include:

Unlearning issue conduct.
Adapting admirably to anger.
Rehearsing the systems you learn in treatment to help you perceive what triggers your fits and outrage and how to react in ways that work for you rather than against you.
Building up an arrangement. Work with your specialist to build up an arrangement of activity for when you feel yourself getting irate. For instance, in case that you think you may lose control; try to expel yourself from that circumstance. Go for a walk or call a trusted friend to attempt to quiet down.
Dodging liquor and other substance use. These substances can build forcefulness and the danger of harmful temperamental outrages.
Consider taking these actions before a crisis emerges:

Call someone at home or someone you trust for help and guidance.
Keep all guns away or covered up. Try not to give the abuser the key or use the gun.
Gather a crisis pack that includes things you will require when you leave, for example, additional garments, keys, individual papers, medicines and cash. Conceal it or leave the pack with a trusted friend or neighbour. Try to go away from the situation so hat you do not do something regrettable.
Educate a trusted neighbour or friend regarding your condition so that he or she can call for help if needed.
Know where you will go and how you will arrive back in case that you feel angry, regardless of the possibility that it implies you need to leave during the night. You might need to work on escaping your home securely.
Decide on a code word or visual flag that implies you require the police and tell it to your friends, family or your children.

Temperamental Issues - How To Deal With Them Effectively?

Scientific Treatment As Per Patient s Thoughts & Behaviour

There are a number of diseases, which people can encounter and find difficulty in getting cured through traditional modes of treatment. Even with the advancement of medical science, diseases like chicken pox, asthma, eczema, schizophrenia, dengue, swine flu have found no appropriate treatment. All these are quite serious health problems, which can have large scale repercussions on the lives of individuals.

This is where Classical Homeopathy proves to be so effective. It is a holistic therapy. An individual is considered as a whole and the symptoms that people come across from the mind, body and spirit are considered while selecting a homeopathic remedy.

How Does Classical Homeopathy Work?

Usually, homeopathy takes into account the environment in which a person belongs to along with this lifestyle. This helps a homeopath to provide individualized treatment for individuals. Classical Homeopathy tries to closely match up to the totality of the symptoms and personality of individuals with the homeopathic remedy. Thus, it helps to stimulate the own natural healing response of the body. This concept of Classical Homeopathy believes in the use of one particular remedy at a time, which happens to be its basic principle.

Tips On Scientific Treatment According To The Thoughts And Behaviour Of People

The thoughts and behaviour of people can have a great impact on determining the exact medicine for their problems. The person&#39;s psychological aspects play such a huge role that they have a direct impact on the selection of medicines. Let us take a look at some of the tips of scientific treatment in classical homeopathy as per the thoughts and behaviour of people.

The impact of thoughts and behaviours can have a positive effect even on major health problems.
Even if someone has a kidney stone, the pain and even the thought that the stone exists go away when they shift their focus on some other activity.
In the case of Classical Homeopathy, doctors get to select only one single remedy out of the total number of almost 8000 medicines.
This Scientific mode of Treatment takes into account the patient s body language and the manner in which they are responding to their problem.
Here, the character, as well as the symptoms of the selected medicine, must remain identically similar in not just the symptom of the patient s disease but the medicine must perfectly match with one s basic nature, thought process as well as the behaviour of the patient.
It is important to initially study the particular case of a patient s problem and determine how homeopathy can come to good effect. This is done by carefully examining the thoughts and behavioural patterns of patients.
Patients can feel relieved from any health problem if they shift their focus into something else and remain busy in that work.

Scientific Treatment As Per Patient's Thoughts & Behaviour!

Speech therapy helps in improving the speech, understanding the language skills, and also help in communicating in non-verbal ways such as listening and taking turns. Speech therapy treats various kinds of communication and swallowing problems.

Children with Cleft Palate are diagnosed with an opening in the upper tissue palate in the mouth. This condition causes Velopharyngeal dysfunction (VPD) which results in excessive airflow from the nose while speaking. Although it can be corrected with surgery, the patient will still be affected by VPD.

Speech therapists help in this condition by assisting the patient with speech and language skills. The speech therapy for such a patient can be categorized as auditory feedback and articulation practice.

Auditory Feedback

Before involving the patient with any speech therapy, it is essential for the patient to understand the difference between normal voice and nasal voice output.

For this purpose, the child is instructed to use a tube to listen to the voice of the normal person. To understand the difference, one end of the tube is then held near the ear of the child and the other is held near his nasal and then he is instructed to make sounds so that he understands the nasal voice.

After this understanding, the different approaches to speech therapy starts.

Articulation Practice

This is usually where speech therapy begins. In this practice, the different type of condition is understood that relates to different speech organs. The understanding of different vowels, consonants and related sounds is taught to the child for making the speaking sound less nasal.

Some of the methods for achieving these sounds are:

Pharyngeal Plosives: This sound is produced when the tongue is moving backward. The practice of making  ng  sound, and dropping the tongue and producing  k  sound.

Pharyngeal fricatives: When the tongue retracts but is not able to make contact with the pharyngeal wall is when this sound is produced. The speech therapists make the child learn the techniques of making sounds of  t ,  ts ,  ch , or  sh , and provide feedback for learning the proper positioning of the tongue.

Nasal Plosives: This sound usually occurs when the tongue is positioned improperly and it obstructs the vocal tract. A speech therapist may make the child yawn so that the back of the tongue is pushed down, and feel as the mouth stretches.

Palatal-Dorsal Productions: It occurs due to the malocclusion of the teeth. Practicing sounds like  t ,  d ,  n ,  k ,  g , and  ng  often helps in such condition.

Take Away
Cleft Palate is generally developed due to improper growth while the child was in the womb. The difficulty of producing proper sounds when there is excessive airflow in the mouth can be overcome by training and practicing certain sounds, as instructed by a speech therapist.

 Cleft Palate - How Efficient Is Speech Therapy?

In India, crimes against women have been on the rise; they might have always happened at the same rate but today's media have become more attentive towards these crimes by bringing them to the forefront. Recently, the devastating news of an Assamese higher secondary student being raped and killed has surfaced. Her floating decomposed body was not discovered until 4th of May when the incident itself occurred on 28th of April. If a rape victim dies, it is the most unfortunate consequence that the parents and the loved ones have to live with but there are numerous victims who survive and they can lead a normal life with guidance and care. Any occurrence of sexual assault not only leaves scars on the outside but also have deeper psychological and emotional effects. The emotional scars can manifest in the form of post-traumatic disorder, depression and suicidal tendencies. If you know anyone who has undergone such an experience, then read on to find out how you can help her get back to her life.

Medical Examination: Physical effects of rape can be adverse on the victim. Forced sexual assault causes bruising, wounds and vaginal bleeding and immediate medical attention is required to ensure safety. Subsequent medical tests should also be carried out to check for Urinary Tract infection, Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and uterine fibroids.

Therapy: Wounds of the flesh heal, but it takes a lot of time to recover from emotional damage and in some cases the survivors bear the burden of psychological scars all through their lives. They may see the incident as an assault to their souls and develop depression, post-traumatic disorder, borderline personality disorder, sleeping and eating disorder. The loved ones have to be understanding and be patient with them. One-on-one therapy or group therapy sessions can be very helpful. Talking about their emotions and resolving issues of anger, regret, pain, fear, guilt in a friendly, supported and understanding environment can help them reconstruct their self-image.

Counseling: Guilt and shame are two most common stigmas that most survivors have to deal with. They somehow blame themselves for the incident and regret any step they think that might have led to the incident. They become so consumed by the incident that they think the experience defines them, instead of their persona which is called dissociative identity disorder. In such cases counseling sessions can prove to be very beneficial. They need guidance to understand the situation and separate themselves from the incident. The survivors may feel weak and victimized, overpowered and violated; they may also think that they have lost control of their bodies. Counseling can assist to resolve such issues and help them empower themselves with time.
It is important to make the survivors realize that it is not the end of their lives. With a positive attitude, proper rehabilitation and counseling rape survivors can lead a normal, happy life.

Overcoming Sexual Harassment: You Are Stronger Than You Think

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

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