Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocality. It is in our basic nature to be socially courteous, and the word 'No' feels like a conflict that warns a potential relationship. Many of us tend to comply with every single request that is put forward to us by our peers, family, or at the workplace by our superiors. We choose to take up more jobs than we can efficiently handle and put unnecessary stress on ourselves even at the cost of our time and well-being. Must we always do that? 

Why is it so hard to say 'No'?

People have the notion that saying 'No' can come across as rude or uncaring. You may feel that you are letting someone down by turning down their request or risking a relationship. But, it has mostly to do with your self-confidence than your relationships with people. It may branch from overbearing parents, high expectations set by your peers and mentors or experiencing parenthood yourself and setting unreasonable standards for yourself. Childhood influences are usually the biggest cause of people always saying  yes  all the time.

People who have low self-confidence tend to value their own needs less than the needs of others. Saying 'No' feels rude, and no one wants to be impolite.

Well... saying 'No' does not mean you are being rude or disagreeable.

At the end of the day, it is more about how you say 'no', rather than just saying the word 'No'. Saying 'No' is about valuing and respecting your own time and priorities. 

How to start saying say 'No'?
If you want to take a step back and start saying 'No' to make sure your own needs are valued, here s what you need to do.

Refuse politely, when it seems not possible: Do not overcomplicate responses and try to be as simple in your responses as you can be. If you are asked to do something, and you want to say 'no', try to be polite in your body language and state that it is not convenient for you at the moment and that you would rather get back to it later.
Seek time before committing: The transition from saying  yes  all the time to saying no does take time! Start to give yourself more time and ask people to get back to you later. This way you can begin to build more self-confidence and learn to say no over time. This also allows you to evaluate your response instead of immediately saying yes or no to the person asking the favor or task.
Do not feel guilty: Deep down if you want to do a favor, you can go ahead with it, but you should also understand that it is okay to say no, and there is no need to associate guilt with it. You should set boundaries and allow people around you to understand how much favors they can ask you for instead of presenting you with an endless amount of favors from you.
Set your boundaries: Refusal does not amount to rejection as you have just as much right to say  no  as the person who is asking the favor from you. You are simply turning down a request, and in most situations, there is a middle ground for compromises where both you and the requester can be satisfied. If you have limited time to fulfill a request, let the person know and help out only as much as you can without overstepping your boundaries.
Bringing in these changes can help you be more self-confident, and at the same time enable you to say no when you need to without weighing yourself down with expectations and fear or rejection.

Simple Steps To Help You Say No!

Don t like social gatherings? Have you always been the one who avoids family get together? If your answer is affirmative, then you are probably suffering from Avoidant personality disorder.  Avoidant personality disorder is a psychological condition wherein, one feels extremely shy. Becoming overly sensitive to rejection and developing feelings of inadequacy are common signs of this disorder. This disorder can lead to problems in your work life and relationships. 

Symptoms
With APD, the commonly surfacing symptoms would include disapproval and disregard of situations and people, rejection and embarrassment. It generally gets very difficult for the one to get acquainted with new people and form intimate relationships. One generally ends up misinterpreting people s comments and criticism thus, feeling angry and frustrated all the more. 

Causes
The exact cause of APD has not been established yet. It is believed that environmental and genetic factors play a role in this disorder. People who are inherently shy and reserved are usually prone to developing this psychological anomaly. 

How do you treat APD?
In order to treat APD, you can opt for the following modes of treatment:

Psychotherapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy is a treatment option for APD wherein, the doctor counsels on how to change one s thinking patterns and thought process, thus, influencing his/her actions.
Psychodynamic psychotherapy: Psychodynamic therapy involves you becoming aware of the unconscious thoughts. It helps you figure out how your past experiences frame your behavior. Your past emotional pains can be resolved with this technique so that you can move ahead with your life. 
Medications: Anti-depressant medications used to treat depression and anxiety can be used to treat APD.

Prefer Social Isolation - Can it be a Sign of Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Cell phones have become a compulsory device for our times, as they give us access to voice and data services in almost every part of the world. Hazardous effects of cell phones are significant because they are kept on our bodies, in our pockets, or held in our hands. In a recent publication, it was seen that 56% of children between the ages of 10 13 have a smartphone. Also, it is seen that 25% of children between the ages of 2 and 5 have a smartphone. School-grade students today beg for smartphones more than even new dresses or shoes.

Effect of Using Mobile Phones on Speech and Communication

In today s era, children using handheld devices are more likely to have delays in expressive speech. These children start talking much later than their peers. Since the cell phone does not respond back to their communication, children cannot develop a communication channel with it. Soon, they get accustomed to using signs and symbols for things rather than asking for the same. They just get used to the mechanical model of handling cell phones by following few simple steps. In human beings, speech is mastered gradually and progressively. If the child skips on the fundamentals of speech, which requires constant repetition of letters, consonants, syllables, and words, his speech tends to get delayed.

As per famous research conducted in Toronto, it was found that with every 30 minutes of screen time, the risk of delayed speech increased by 49%. Usually, infants should be able to communicate in sentences between three and four words, by the age of 2-3 years. However, those who spent the most time on handheld devices were found to struggle with communication skills. As per another popular study conducted in the UK, electronic gadgets may be blamed for 70% rise in speech problems in 6 years. Another famous study conducted in University College London found that screen time also had an impact on sleep of infants, which affected their brains.

As per the opinion of education leaders and speech specialists, many children are deprived of conversation with their family since they spend a lot of time on electronic devices. The noise and activity on a screen can distract a small child and cause a disconnect between them and their parents. Screen time is slowly replacing parent-child interactions which are critical for healthy development.

How to address this issue?

The best way to teach language to children is by interacting with them, talking with them, using different vocabulary, playing with them, being creative, and pointing things out to them. However, if you feel that owing to negligence your child already has issues with his speech and communication, then visiting a professional speech therapist and counselor can make a huge difference.

Effects Of Using Mobile Phones On Speech & Communication!

There are instances when a kid doesn t show the usual signs of development compared to their peers. Most parents take it casually thinking that their child will catch up in due course only to find a larger problem associated with it. It is therefore extremely important to discuss speech and language related delays with a medical practitioner to find out whether a child is immature or has a genuine problem which requires medical help. A child can show different signs as per age:

Different age group:

Within the first 12 months, a baby should be able to relate to his environment and make babbling and cooing sound. It is often observed that by month 9, a baby is capable of stringing sounds after seeing things. If a baby is intently watching objects, but is unable to make any sound, this may be an early symptom of speech or language related problem.
Between the 12th and the 15th month, a baby should be capable of making a wide array of sounds including few commonly used words. Babies should also be able to take few basic instructions and oblige those.
Between the age of 18th and 24th months, a baby becomes smart enough to pronounce anywhere in the range of 20 to 50 words. They also start combining words and make simple sentences. They should be capable of identifying common objects and remember their names.
By the age of 3, a toddler should be smart enough to combine 4-5 words and form sentences. Kids of this age also become smart enough to take straightforward instructions and perform them comfortably. Any deviation on this should be immediately reported to the Doctor.
What are the warning signs?
If a child between the age of 1-2 is not able to do the following things:

Fails to use gesture
Use more gesture than vocalising by the age of 18 months
Produce no voice by 18th-month
Fails to perform simple instructions
A child between the age of 2-3 needs evaluation if:

Capable of imitating words but isn t spontaneous in vocalising
Repeats certain words multiple times
The tone of voice is unusual compared to his peers
Possible causes of speech and language delay:

Problems with palate leading to oral impairments
Short frenulum restricting sufficient tongue movement to produce speech
Oral-motor problems leading to speech limitation
Problems related to hearing
Chronic infection of the ear leading to speech delay
What does the pathologist assess?

What can the child speak?
What can the child understand?
Oral-motor status
Clarity of speech
Post the above evaluation a pathologist directs a plan of action. Sometimes speech therapy sessions are recommended in order to improve kids  skill. For a motor related problem, a doctor can state a plan of action and limit the expectation of parents.

Speech & Language Delay - Spot The Signs!

Brain is just like other muscles in the body; stimulation of the brain cells on a continuous basis will lead to a well-functioning brain. In fact, exercising your brain through various brain exercises helps in forming new neural pathways inside it. Neuroplasticity is the ability of the brain to change and adapt when it is stimulated.

The various methods you can adopt to improve your mental health are -

Learn a musical instrument:
Start taking music classes to learn an instrument such as guitar or piano as it helps in improving mental health. It also helps in delaying age related problems such as alzheimer's disease.

Do math exercises in your head:
Try figuring out various mathematical sums inside your head, as this will keep your brain sharp. It has also been known to improve intelligence quotient.

Try to recall past events:
When you try to recall past events, the section of the brain dealing with memory is stimulated and thus, leads to stronger neural connections.

Learning a new language:
Learning a new language is good for the brain as well because it helps in delaying the process of decline of cognitive functions. Chances of being affected by mental health disorders decrease significantly.

Aerobic exercises:
You should follow a regular exercise regimen consisting of aerobic exercises and cardiovascular exercises as they help in improving your blood circulation. Apart from keeping you fitter and lean, it also improves your overall wellbeing.

Improve your hand-eye coordination:
Do activities such as painting, knitting or solving puzzles as they help in improving your hand eye coordination. It fine tunes your motor skills and keeps you mentally sharp.

Cooking:
Learning to cook helps in activating various parts of the brain such as sight, smell and taste. This is related to different parts of the brain resulting in an overall development.


Brain Exercises - Why You Should Do Them

Top tips to help you fight anxiety

Anxiety is the latest problem affecting a majority of the population, owing to our hectic and fast-paced lifestyles. All of us are so busy in our lives that we forget to provide our mind and body with the basic care that they need in order to function effectively. Here are five useful tips to help you overcome anxiety, on a daily basis.

1. Maintain the right diet
Though it may sound like a cliche, maintaining a healthy diet on a regular basis is the key to beating anxiety. Try and consume food products rich in Vitamin b which is known to improve mental health; and Omega-3s which can effectively counter severe anxiety and depression.

2. Get adequate sleep
Not getting enough sleep not only affects your mind but has an adverse effect on your body as well. Even anxiety can result in irregular sleep patterns and thus ensure that in any situation, you manage to get six to seven hours of sleep on a daily basis.

3. Engage with people
Man is indeed a social animal. People make us happy. The hormone oxytocin significantly reduces anxiety levels and it is released during the process of socializing; thus it is essential to be in contact with your close group of people.

4. Keep your immediate environment clean
A cluttered home or workplace not only adds to physical clutter but contributes towards building up mental clutter as well. Spend a few minutes every day in keeping your immediate environment clean and organized. You are bound to feel calmer and more relaxed.

5. Indulge in breathing exercises
When your brain is tensed, your breathing pattern automatically becomes short and shallow. In order to send relaxing signals to your brain, try taking deep and long breaths and continue the process for a few minutes.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on consult.

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5 Most Effective Ways To Drive Anxiety Out Of Your Life

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