You Need to Read This To Stay Away From Depression!

Depression robs people of their energy, ability to focus and pleasure. It makes them lose the joy of doing anything. In advanced cases, people may also lose their will to live. Depression is caused by factors that are mostly psychological, although a few can be physical. Certain habits and ways of living also lead to depression.

Here are few habits you must avoid.

1) Lack of Exercise: Being inactive affects your state of mind and can lead to a feeling of being depressed. If you are inactive, you also become lazy or tend to eat more, due to lack of anything better to do. This may be even more depressing.

SOLUTION: Exercise ensures your physical and mental well-being. Whenever you feel depressed, remember to exercise. Even a 20 minute brisk walking makes your brain produce the 'feel-good' chemicals, which keeps you active and in high spirits. If this not possible then just use the stairs instead of the lift, or take a few rounds of your block at whatever pace you can do. Remember to be regular in your efforts.

2) Improper Diet: Eating foods regularly which are loaded with hydrogenated fats, refined sugars and processed foods increase blood sugar levels suddenly and then dip suddenly. Our bodies and minds become lethargic with such foods. These chemicals affect the limbic brain( emotional centre) directly, making us feel blue, irritated and fatigued.

SOLUTION: Eating healthy is not only good for your body but also your brain. Food stuffs that contain omega-3 fats are referred to as brain foods and lack of such foods makes you vulnerable to depression. Eat crap and you feel like crap! Since our bodies cannot manufacture omega-3 fats, it has to be sourced from foods such as coldwater fish and seafood. Eating whole grains, fibre, vegetables, fruits rich in carbs and plenty of water Eat healthy for a healthy mind.

3) Poor Sleeping Habits and Stress: If you constantly deprive yourself of sleep or oversleep, you create a situation that risks depression. Not getting the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep leaves you irritable, agitated or hyper vigilant. A person who hasn't slept enough cannot perform daily functions properly and may feel frustrated or begin to feel trapped. A sense of loss of control makes one feel depressed. Most people don't understand that just getting enough sleep can help in keeping depression at bay.

SOLUTION: Sleeping well has a restorative and rejuvenative action on the body and mind. The body repairs itself while sleeping, dreams are a way of expelling unwanted thoughts and emotions, people develop higher immunity when they sleep well, you have better cognitive functions. You will make sound decisions with fewer errors, concentrating and focussing will be easier. Tasks will seem easier and effortless. A good sleep leaves people feeling energised, happier and alert.

4) Isolation: the experience of being separated from others - may result from being physically removed from others, as when a person lives in a remote area, or it can result from the perception of being removed from a community, such as when a person feels socially or emotionally isolated from others. Social isolation is distinct from the experience of solitude, which is simply the state of being alone, usually by choice. Taking time to be alone can be a healthy, rejuvenating experience that allows us to reconnect with our own needs, goals, beliefs, values, and feelings. But when a person experiences too much solitude or feels socially isolated from others, he or she may develop feelings of loneliness, social anxiety, helplessness, or depression, among others. 

SOLUTION: Having an active social life with real and genuine people whom you gel with and have common interests is like an elixir of life. It infuses a person with a sense of wellbeing, safety, security and belonging, which is necessary for us humans. It forms social support not only in good times but also in tough times when we need help, support, suggestions and encouragement. A shared smile, a nod, a wink, laughter or story can go on a long way to make you feel uplifted.

5) Ruminating Constantly: Dwelling on negative thoughts each day, sets you up for depression. Constantly thinking of failure, loss, rejection or past events is harmful. Ruminating about something you cannot change not only makes you depressed but also drives you insane. It fosters feelings of helplessness, worthlessness and hopelessness, which are so common in depression.

SOLUTION:There are practical ways of fighting this problem, like keeping yourself busy and distracted, or just using an outlet to channel the feelings out of your system. Have a satisfying hobby to fill up your free time. Taking care of a pet, social work also helps people feel good about themselves. Use logic and rational reasoning to combat negative thinking patterns. Seeing meaning in a loss is very helpful too. Look at the positive and brighter side of each situation. Using humour to lighten some tough situations help keep the mental and emotional balance from tipping.

Have any further questions on depression or mental health? Click on consult privately to ask me.

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You Need to Read This To Stay Away From Depression!

While some people see tears as a sign of weakness, for others crying is a crucial way of dealing with grief. Though as children we re told not to cry and to  keep a hold  of our emotions, letting go of a few tears can help alleviate grief and emotional distress. 

Here are a few reasons crying could be a good idea when dealing with loss.

Crying can stimulate the release of endorphins: Crying cleanses the mind of negative emotions and allows you to express your emotions. Crying can be described as a reaction to pain and in order to control pain, the body releases endorphins. Endorphins are also known as happy hormones as they block the transmission of pain signals and create a sense of contentment. These chemicals can take a little time to have an effect and hence in most cases, you will notice an improvement in your mood after a good cry.
Crying elevates the mood: Crying can help reduce your body s manganese levels. A higher than normal manganese level can heighten anxiety, irritability, tiredness and emotional disturbances. By lowering manganese levels, the brain is left with enough space for happier emotions and hence crying can help elevate a person s mood.
Crying stimulates the body s parasympathetic nervous system: The parasympathetic nervous system controls a number of functions including heart rate. Crying can stimulate this system and trigger a state of relaxation. For this reason, you may feel sleepy after crying. This gives your body time to relax and deal with the problem at hand with a calmer mind.
Crying helps deal with stress: A stressful experience or emotional situation can cause a build-up of stress hormones known as cortisol. As the levels of cortisol increase in the body, it goes into flight or fight mode as an automatic response to stress. Crying reduces the cortisol levels and helps relieve tension and stress almost immediately.
Crying is cathartic: Every day we are exposed to conflicts and stressful situations that can build up into resentments and leave a person feeling anxious and depressed. Sometimes, giving vent to emotions and crying can help release these pent-up feeling and heap cleanse the mind of these negative emotions. Crying also allows us to open ourselves up to the people around and can improve the levels of intimacy between them. In this way, it can help a person become part of a community.

Crying - Can it Help You Overcome Sadness?

Do you believe that the world is a hostile place and you are a victim? Are you the one who often doubts his or her abilities? If so, you might be showing signs of low self-esteem. Interestingly, self-esteem has nothing do with your actual ability or talent. Your looks, weight or skills are not responsible for your low self esteem. It largely depends upon the fact that how you value yourself.

It has been observed in most cases that self-esteem is often affected by a number of reasons, including ill-health, unpleasant memories from the past, and termination of relationships. Low self-esteem is generally marked in survivors of physical or sexual abuse, victims of racial discrimination or people who have had a traumatic past life.

If you don t pay attention towards this issue, you might end up developing certain serious mental disorders. Low self-esteem is also the root cause behind the occurrence of mental disorders like borderline personality disorder, depression, etc. However, there is nothing to worry about it. There are certain simple things that are useful in building up your self-esteem.

Here s all that you need to do to start believing in yourself and be confident about your capabilities:

1. Remember your strong points: Make three separate lists of your strengths; achievements and your qualities that you admire. Take help from your friends, parents and other well-wishers for preparing these lists. These lists will help you in understanding your abilities and goodness. You will be able to believe in your strengths. You must read through these lists at least once daily.

2. Be positive: Optimism and a positive approach towards life are the key to success. Your self-esteem is influenced by the fact that how you look at life. Life is not a bed of roses. It is unavoidable that you will have to face critical situations or problems in life. But, what is important is to face them with courage and a faith in your own abilities. Be positive and stop developing negative thoughts about yourself. Get rid of thoughts like  I am a loser ;  I can t get rid of this problem ; etc.

3. Take care of your body: Your outward appearance sometimes works wonders in lifting up your inner-self and spirits. Keep yourself clean, trim your beard or hairs; cut your nails; don t forget to floss your teeth and maintain overall personal hygiene to develop a feeling of goodness.

4. Sleep well: A good night s sleep is essential for boosting up your self - esteem.

5. Eat right: A balanced diet is a key to good health. Eating the right food in the right way keeps your mental and physical health all right. Include minerals and vitamins in your regular meals. Avoid distractions like television or radio while taking meals.

6. Exercise: Regular workouts keep you away from mental-ill health.

7. Be cool and comfortable first: When it comes to your dressing, try to put on attires that you can carry well. Wear stuffs that you love the most.

How to Build your Self Esteem?

HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Depression is spreading at a fast pace in modern India due to many reasons like poor diet, lifestyles, poor social support system and having too many unrealistic expectations from themselves and other people in their lives. It can affect the rich and the poor and any age group also. According to World Health Organisation, 1 in every 10 people suffer from depression. Due to the social stigma attached to it, most people remain undiagnosed and hence suffer from it silently. This is a huge waste of human potential and capability. Some common symptoms of Depression include:

Appetite loss or an increased hunger,
Insomnia or Oversleeping,
Pervading feelings of worthlessness, helplessness and hopelessness,
Anger and Irritability,
Intense physical, emotional and mental fatigue,
Self hatred for making mistakes and not coming up to the expectations of self or other people
Risky Behaviour like rash driving, addictions, dangerous sports,
Problems in Concentration, Memorising and Focussing
Unexplained aches and pains, stomach-aches, Back pain or Headaches
Sudden loss of Interest in Daily Activities, Hobbies. Work
Suicidal Thoughts or Attempts

Here are some basic tips to beat the blues.

Recognising and Conquering Self Criticising Inner Voice:
You would have heard this harsh voice which often reprimands you for making mistakes, or doing something silly or taking any risks. Often this voice would have said, "Its always your fault"," You are capable of nothing"," You are always making mistakes", "Only bad things have happened in my life", " My life is Over". These are called self destructive negative thoughts which can interfere and distract you from your daily activities and a general sense of confidence, power, wellbeing and balance. Depressed people often associate themselves with a negative image of self and of the world, which is very incapacitating and makes the person feel guilty, angry, worthless, hopeless and helpless. The trick is to combat this inner thinking process with evidence to disprove it and support the evidence with logical and rational reasoning and seeing the whole picture with its positives rather than focussing on the negative parts only. For eg.."Good things have also happened in my marriage"," I can learn from my mistakes and do things differently next time"," I have achieved many things in life so I am capable and intelligent"," Life is not over yet, there is hope because I am still alive". such statements are compassionate and help in restoring lost confidence, faith and hope which is vital to beat depression blues.

Be Active:
During depression, physical energy takes a beating as a person goes through an emotionally low phase. People who don't exercise regularly are more prone to depression as the body and mind lacks in blood circulation and "feel good" neuro chemicals called Endorphins. When you are feeling down in the dumps, exercising, yoga, gym, cycling, aerobics, dance can help in elevating the heart rate and thus increasing the blood circulation and elevating the moods. Cycling to work, using the stairs, walking just a little bit as a  daily small goal can be beneficial as energy levels can be very low in depression. Getting the sun on the back bone which carries many nerves is also important and helps in chemical synthesis in combating depression.

Be Social:
Man is a social animal by evolutionary process. We tend to feel better in harmonious social communities for our social and psychological wellbeing. Identify people who are well meaning and supportive of your condition. Don't withdraw from the society, thought hat may be the easiest and logical thing to do in depression. Meeting people with similar interests as yours, people who value you for who you are and some people who are funny and can make you laugh will be of immense importance for boosting your self esteem and self worth. See if some one can benefit from your care..caring for others is a huge booster of self worth and self esteem. Having a pet and caring for it can be another activity that you can look into. Watching comedy shows, movies, laughing at your own mistakes or other people mistakes can be a wonderful way to look at life more objectively. Don't take yourself and other people too seriously..everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect.


By no means is this list complete. Please look around and find more tips that can help in beating the blues. If Depression is caught in its early stages then its completely curable. Please don't self diagnose and take medications. Get it diagnosed with a psychiatrist or a psychologist. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Stress management, Marital Counselling, Meditations and relaxation techniques, Spirituality are very powerful in dealing with depression too.

3 ways to combat depression

Depression is a mental health disorder where one experiences lack of interest in activities and has a continuously depressed mood which can lead to serious impairments in that person s daily life.

Day by day, the number of patients suffering from depression is increasing. More than the facts, it is various myths people hear that makes them more vulnerable when suffering from this mental health disorder. Below are the 5 common myths and facts regarding depression.

Myth #1: Lazy people suffer from depression
People who have a lethargic life suffer from depression and hardworking people never experience it. This is probably one of the most widely believed myths about depression. However, in reality, it is excessive work pressure and overworking and the feeling that they are bound with responsibilities and are being exploited at the workplace that causes depression. Anyone can develop this mental condition, and workload and lifestyle do not always have something to do with depression.

Myth #2: Women are the main victims of depression
Another popular myth regarding depression is that it is women who mainly suffer from it. Yes, it is true that women are more sensitive than men, but developing depression has nothing to do with gender. Anyone, at any age, at any time, can suffer from depression.

Myth #3: Talking can never help in easing depression
There are some people who believe that depression is a mental health disorder, is only treated with psychiatric medicines that can help in dealing with this condition. However, what they don't understand is that doing something constructive and having positive conversations with their loved ones can actually benefit their mental health. Even, psychiatrists believe that talking sessions are one of the ways of treating depression.

Myth #4: Depression is the same as sadness
Consistently unhappy and sad people are often considered as being depressed. However, the fact is that both sadness and depression are two different things. While one can get over the former condition of feeling low and sad; suffering from depression leads to chemical changes inside the brain, causing changes in the behaviour, thinking, etc. of the affected person, thereby persistently damaging the daily life.

Myth #5: There s no link between depression and Physical exercise
Many people assume that physical exercise isn't helpful in dealing with depression since it is a mental illness and not a physical condition. However, the fact is that moderate amount of physical exercise not only helps in improving mental aspects but also boosts the concentration power of the person.

No matter how mild or serious the form of depression one suffers from, opting for psychiatric help becomes crucial to avoid risks of deterioration of the condition in any way. After all, a professional psychiatrist can not only help one suffering from depression by treating them with necessary medications and therapies but also help in differentiating the facts from the myths thoroughly.

5 Myths About Depression Debunked!

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