All you need to know about Premature Ejaculation

Many of the sexual issues are primarily not big problems. However, because of the taboo and inhibition around them, they are not discussed openly, hence they also fail to get resolved and become bigger. In fact most of the times there are no visible symptoms of any functional problems. Many of them are very basic issues and because of ignorance, myths, and social taboos lead to development of anxieties, distress and further worsening of the problem.

Often men are concerned about their performance in bed with their partner. They worry about- how best then can do, masturbation habits, size of penis and sperm quality. 

Consequences of Premature ejaculation (PE): 
Both you and your partner may end up experiencing highly unsatisfactory sex. In fact, it can significantly increase anxiety, which may deteriorate the problem. 

PE is one such sexual issue. It's not a disease; Not at all..!! 
If a person is sexually fit and experiences normal erections but just fail to hold the orgasm/ discharge for reasonable time then he is suffering from premature ejaculation. It's  a very normal problem, which if managed properly it can be easily resolved.

We will discuss this PE in 4 parts covering: what it is in actual, how does it happen, how to approach to resolve this problem with behavioural methods, exercise, techniques and medical remedies present in both modern and alternative medicine. 
Let s understand the problem in this 1st part!

What is Premature Ejaculation? 

Premature (early) ejaculation also referred to as rapid ejaculation; also called as early discharge. 
PE is the most common type of sexual dysfunction in men younger than 40 years and seen across all age groups. In elderly men (>60 years) erectile dysfunction is more common. A study conducted by the Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed that this condition is almost equally prevalent in sexually active men of all age groups. 
If a man experiences uncontrollable ejaculation (discharge of semen from your penis) either before or shortly after sexual penetration (usually within 1-2 minutes of penetration), he may be suffering from PE. The Mayo clinic at the United States defines PE as a condition in which  a man  always or nearly always ejaculates within one minute of penetration."

Instances of PE:
An occasional instance of premature ejaculation might not be cause of concern, but, if the problem occurs more than 50% of attempted sexual relations signifies existence of abnormal pattern for which treatment is required.

Premature ejaculation takes place with negligible sexual stimulation and even before the desire 
to ejaculate. Another way of describing PE by most therapist or clinicians is the occurrence of ejaculation sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. 

This broad definition thus avoids specifying a precise  normal  duration for sexual activity and reaching a climax. The duration of sexual activity is highly variable and depends on various factors specific to each individual. Take a situation, a male may reach orgasm after 7 to 8 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner is able to achieve climax mostly in 5 minutes and both are satisfied with this timing, then this is not defined as PE. 

Alternatively, a male might delay his ejaculation for up to 15- 20 minutes of sexual intercourse, but if his partner, even with foreplay, requires 25-30 minutes of total sexual activity before reaching climax, he may still consider his ejaculation premature because his partner has not been satisfied (at least, not through intercourse). But in routine practice this kind of situation is NOT called as PE. So every individual and every couple is unique. Same individual may have different sexual behaviour with different partners and different circumstances. Varied situations and varied places of performing the act have a vital role to play in determining the outcomes of individual sexual performance/s.



Knowing Premature Ejaculation - PART 1: Understanding What is PE

5 mind reasons you might not be getting an orgasm

Sex is not only a physical need, sex is a great way to emotionally bond and get closer to your partner as well. Any dissatisfaction in the bedroom can affect other aspects of your life, and can lead to fights, squabbles and general unhappiness. The inability to orgasm can become a major bone of contention. There can be various reasons behind the inability to climax. Some of the common ones are detailed below:

1. Lack of stimulation

Studies show that only 25% of women reach climax during sexual intercourse. The remaining 75% of women require more stimulation, like fingers or even toys and tongues to reach orgasm. Amongst this is a subset of 10-15% of women who never reach orgasm. Thus, a large number of women require extra stimulation to achieve climax during sex. You must talk to your partner about putting in some extra effort and providing the extra stimulation you need to achieve climax.

2. Over-thinking

Many men and women over-think their actions in bed. From their expressions to how they are reacting and how they are making their partner feel - everything is under constant scrutiny and revision. This leads to a lot of stress, which can hinder your ability to reach orgasm. You need to relax in the bedroom, because whatever you do will feel good in some way or another. Your anxieties can also distract you from what is going on, which means you don't get the chance to fully experience the pleasures of sex. If it helps, speak to your partner about your anxieties and tell them what you are stressing about during sex.

3. Differences between men and women 

Men are visual creatures. This means that what they see turns them on. A woman's orgasm, on the other hand, happens in her head. Thus, men and women have different roots to their stimulation. Lack of an orgasm might mean either of these needs isn't being fulfilled. A great way to work around this and make sex more fun is to include a lot of foreplay in your love-making session. You can do this by trying out role-playing or using sex toys. Make sure to take it slow for a great build-up to your orgasm.

4. Performance issues

Porn has an impact on your sex life. It can increase your expectations to a considerable extent, which may not be fulfilled, thus hampering your experience in the bedroom. A lot of people become so focused on reproducing that experience that they forget that its real life. The focus on performance overwhelms their actual experience of sex, which results in an inability to reach orgasm. Try to accept the fact that you don't really have to perform for your partner. Your partner appreciates you for what you are, despite everything.

5. Mental blocks

A problem in the relationship, certain health conditions like depression, past trauma and negative social conditioning can all have negative impacts on your ability to orgasm. Talk to your partner about past trauma if you have any, and what your triggers are. Consider speaking to a sex therapist as mental health issues should never be neglected. Depression hits the libido hard, and the problem is only compounded by antidepressants. Negative social conditioning can only be helped by therapy, so try to reach out to a mental health professional.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for a Happier Sex Life

5 Mind Reasons You Might Not Be Getting an Orgasm

Resuming sex post pregnancy can take some time as the woman has to go through the initial phase of vaginal soreness and perpetual exhaustion before she can think of having sex. Whether a woman gives birth vaginally or through cesarian section, her body will require time to heal itself; and it is advisable to have intercourse six weeks after childbirth. 

Here are some of the common sex problems post-pregnancy.

1) An eager partner - Your partner might be ready for sexual intercourse but you are not. Even if it is six weeks after giving birth, when the wound inside has mostly healed and perhaps you're not sore anymore, you still may not want to have sex. This is because the hormones in your body are drastically changing, and the uterus is gradually shrinking and your episiotomy wound is progressively healing. In such situations, one should take it slow. Cuddling, kissing and spooning are some of the ways closeness can be fostered.

2) Delicate and tender breasts - Breasts may become sore, heavy and leaky due to nursing your baby. And it is natural that after breastfeeding the whole day, one may want them to be left alone at night. Wearing a nursing top or a tank top during sex is advised. Nursing your baby right before sex can also help as your breasts won't be as full and achy.

3) Sex won't feel the same - It is natural that after delivering a baby, sex won't feel exactly the same. This is because the vaginal muscles would be temporarily stretched out. And there is a chance of temporary soreness and inflammation within the vagina. Kegel exercises may help to get back on track.

So, in case you're a woman and felt strange about not being up for sex post your pregnancy, there's absolutely nothing to be stressed about. And men, if you are reading this tip, your woman needs you to understand her even more after her becoming a mother; so, treat her with utmost care.



3 Things You Need to Know about Post-Pregnancy Sex

6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well-Being

While small amounts of alcohol do not have any effect on your sexual health, moderate amounts of drinking are known to cause problems in both men and women.

Let's take a look at the effect alcohol may have on your body and sex life:

1. It acts as a depressant - Acting as a depressant (a drug that reduces stimulation or arousal in various parts of the brain), alcohol inhibits certain areas of the central nervous system that are important for orgasm and arousal, more specifically - the circulation, respiration, and feeling of nerve endings.

2. It dehydrates your body - Sexual arousal requires an adequate supply of oxygen and flow of blood to the private areas so as enable you to experience the different sensations that accompany a sexual act. Adequate blood flow in the case of women is important for lubrication and in the case of men for developing and sustaining an erection. Less fluid in the body and a depressed nervous system can affect your sexual performance.

3. It's not an aphrodisiac if you go overboard - Several studies show that alcohol can help certain people to overcome feelings of deficiency or sexual reserve. This can only happen if you limit your consumption to only 1-2 drinks. If you go overboard, the depressant action of the drink begins to take effect preventing your body's ability to react sexually.

4. It causes fewer erections - Drinking large amounts of alcohol or even long-term drinking can cause erection problems to develop. Erectile dysfunction is said to occur when too much drinking causes dehydration leading to a decrease in blood volume and an increase in the angiotensin hormone, which is associated with ED. The likelihood of this occurring gets further increased if the body's central nervous system is unable to act in a natural way.

5. It leads to delayed ejaculation and orgasm - A 2004 study reveals that about 11% of alcohol users face difficulty in having an orgasm. While the men faced difficulty in ejaculating, women participants required more stimulation to reach an orgasm, compared to men and women who did not drink or drank little.

6. It causes vaginal dryness - The dehydrating effect that normally occurs if you drink a lot can also cause vaginal dryness. It causes a decrease in your sensations and hampers the production of vaginal secretions for sexual penetration, leading to painful sex.



6 Dangerous Effects of Alcohol on Your Sexual Well Being

How too much sugar can adversely affect your sex life

Sugar is an important source of calories in the body as it can provide immediate energy to the body after consumption. Sugar being a simple carbohydrate is digested quickly and released into the bloodstream to be used as energy. However, too much sugar in the bloodstream at once can cause a host of disorders in the body including affecting one's sex life. Outlined below are the ways how sugar adversely affects sex life-

1. Impairs the gene that regulates sex hormones

Glucose and fructose are synthesized in the liver, where the excess is converted into fat. When fat synthesis rate goes up in the body, it affects SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) gene in the body. This gene is responsible for regulating the levels of testosterone and estrogen in the body. Hence, in this case, the affected person becomes highly susceptible to infertility.

2. Lowers testosterone levels

Indulging in a diet that consists of too much sugar affects insulin resistance. Due to this, testosterone levels drop in both men and women. This causes disorders related to sexual function such as erectile dysfunction and also reduces sex drive.

3. Fatigue and reduced energy levels

Foods high in sugar cause temporary spikes in blood sugar which in turn results in fatigue, thus reducing sex drive. It also decreases levels of Orexin, a neurotransmitter that regulates feelings of arousal in the body, causing fatigue and lethargy.

4. Increases stress

Increased stress levels as a result of sugar consumption occur when high insulin levels cause the body to produce cortisol, a stress hormone. Too much cortisol in the body decreases libido



How too much sugar can adversely affect your sex life

Why you must try kegel exercises for an amazing sex life!

Kegel exercise, also known as pelvic floor exercise, is the repeated contraction and relaxation of the pelvic floor, which is the muscular base of the abdomen connected to the pelvis. These simple exercises are proven to enhance the functioning of the pelvic organs and improve sexual health. How you ask? read on to find out.

Both men and women can improve their sex life to a great extent by practicing Kegels.

How does it improve sexual function in women?

 tones and strengthens the vaginal muscles that boost arousal

 causes a tighter grip during intercourse

 leads to more intense contractions during orgasm

How does it improve sexual function in men?

 allows for men to have stronger, long-lasting erections

 keeps the hips and pelvic region healthy

 leads to greater control over ejaculation

 prevents the occurrence of erectile dysfunction

How does kegel exercise betters sex life?

To get started on kegel exercises for a better and healthier sex life, follow these simple steps:

1. Locating the right muscles: the most important part of doing kegel exercises is locating the pleasure-maxing muscles in the pelvic region. This can be done by stopping urination midstream or blocking the passage of gas. Once you've successfully managed to identify the target muscles, kegel exercises can be done anywhere at any time.

2. Staying focused: it is important to stay focused on exercising the pelvic floor muscles. Easy breathing while doing the exercise and keeping from flexing other muscles in the abdomen and buttocks are necessary parts of the routine.

3. Sharpening the technique: practice tightening and releasing the pelvic floor muscles till you have perfected the technique, working up to a 10-second hold before releasing and relaxing for 10 seconds between each contraction.

Repeat daily

Get into a regimen doing 10 to 20 kegel exercises three times a day, holding each one for 10 seconds.

Kegel exercises will not only improve your sex life, but also combat disorders of the bladder and lower intestines. Plus, they've been proven to enhance orgasms, turning them into more frequent occurrences than before.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: 5 Do's + Don'ts for a Healthy Sex Life

Why You Must Try Kegel Exercises for an AMAZING Sex Life!

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