For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Schizophrenia has been recognized as a mental disorder that combines symptoms like hallucinations with distorted thinking and others like fright and severe paranoia. This condition is one that gets progressively worse over time and leads to delusional thinking. Oversleeping and complaining of fatigue are usually the earliest signs of this condition's onset. Eventually, it becomes a debilitating factor in the life of the patient, who will not be able to function in a normal way due to the severe symptoms.

Read on to know more about the types and causes of this condition:

Genetic Causes: Schizophrenia may be caused due to genetic factors and it may be a learned or inherited disorder. It is known to affect patients who have a parent or a sibling who may have suffered from this condition. Yet, one must also remember that Schizophrenia can only be influenced by genetics, and not determined by the same.
Environmental Causes: When there has been an exposure to a viral infection during the pre natal stage, the patient is susceptible to this condition. Also, it may affect children who have been subject to the loss of a parent or separation at an early age. Physical and emotional abuse in one's childhood may also bring on this condition. Low level of oxygen at the time of birth is one of the causes of this condition in many patients.
Anomalies in Brain Structure: When the brain ventricles of the patient are enlarged, he or she may be prone to this condition. Also, anomalies in the temporal lobes and amygdala have links with the onset of this condition.
Types: A wide variety of mental and medical conditions can manifest with psychotic symptoms that must be considered in the differential diagnosis of schizophreniform disorder. These include psychotic disorder due to another medical condition or its treatment; delirium or major neurocognitive disorder; substance/medication-induced psychotic disorder or delirium; depressive or bipolar disorder with psychotic features; schizoaffective disorder; other specified or unspecified bipolar and related disorder; depressive or bipolar disorder with catatonic features; schizophrenia; brief psychotic disorder; delusional disorder; other specified or unspecified schizophrenia spectrum and other psychotic disorder; schizotypal, schizoid, or paranoid personality disorders; autism spectrum disorder; disorders presenting in childhood with disorganized speech; attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder; obsessive-compulsive disorder; posttraumatic stress disorder; and traumatic brain injury.
Since the diagnostic criteria for schizophreniform disorder and schizophrenia differ primarily in duration of illness, the discussion of the differential diagnosis of schizophrenia also applies to schizophreniform disorder. 

Brief psychotic disorder. Schizophreniform disorder differs in duration from brief psychotic disorder, which has a duration of less than 1 month.

Residual Schizophrenia is a condition where the patient does not experience the various debilitating symptoms of the condition, and is on the road to recovery. Yet, even in this type of Schizophrenia, the patient will not really show any interest in life and the activities around him or her. Finally, the last type of Schizophrenia is Schizoaffective Disorder which is characterised by the symptoms of Schizophrenia as well as the symptoms of major mood disorders. When combined, this condition can lead to major complications and complex behavior.

A patient suffering from this condition will need to see a mental health specialist like a psychiatrist or a psychologist on an immediate basis. The treatment will be carried out on a long term basis for the results to start appearing.

Schizophrenia - Know the Causes Behind it

Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. A person s mood and emotions can be altered drastically due to bipolar disorder, but they do not have more than one personality. Split personalities problem is more commonly seen in those with personality/dissociative disorders. 

There are four basic types of bipolar disorder; all of them involve clear changes in mood, energy, and activity levels. These moods range from periods of extremely  up,  elated, and energized behavior (known as manic episodes) to very sad,  down,  or hopeless periods (known as depressive episodes). Less severe manic periods are known as hypomanic episodes.

Bipolar I Disorder  defined by manic episodes that last at least 7 days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care. Usually, depressive episodes occur as well, typically lasting at least 2 weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features (having depression and manic symptoms at the same time) are also possible.
Bipolar II Disorder  defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above.
Cyclothymic Disorder (also called cyclothymia)  defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least 2 years (1 year in children and adolescents). However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and a depressive episode.
Other Specified and Unspecified Bipolar and Related Disorders  defined by bipolar disorder symptoms that do not match the three categories listed above.
The disorder has two strong phases: 1) Bipolar Mania and 2) Depression.

Mania-

Mania is a state of heightened energy and euphoria - an elevation of mood. It is in direct contrast to depression. Mania can vary in severity from hypomania, where, in addition to mood and energy elevation, the person shows mild impairment of judgement and insight, to severe mania with delusions and a level of manic excitement that can be so exhausting that hospitalisation is required to control the episode.

The mood, energy and other related symptoms define both mania and hypomania, with psychotic features being an 'add on' component experienced by a sub-set of individuals. 

You have an intense sense of well-being, energy and optimism. It can be so strong that it affects your thinking and judgement. You may believe strange things about yourself, make bad decisions, and behave in embarrassing, harmful and - occasionally - dangerous ways.
 
Like depression, it can make it difficult or impossible to deal with day-to-day life. Mania can badly affect both your relationships and your work. When it isn't so extreme, it is called 'hypomania'.
 
If you become manic, you may notice that you are:

Emotional:

very happy and excited
irritated with other people who don't share your optimistic outlook
feeling more important than usual. 
Thinking:

full of new and exciting ideas
moving quickly from one idea to another
hearing voices that other people can't hear.
Physical:

full of energy
unable or unwilling to sleep
more interested in sex.  
Behaviour:

making plans that are grandiose and unrealistic
very active, moving around very quickly
behaving unusually
talking very quickly - other people may find it hard to understand what you are talking about
making odd decisions on the spur of the moment, sometimes with disastrous consequences
recklessly spending your money
over-familiar or recklessly critical with other people
less inhibited in general.
If you are in the middle of a manic episode for the first time, you may not realise that there is anything wrong   although your friends, family or colleagues will. You may even feel annoyed if someone tries to point this out to you. You increasingly lose touch with day-to-day issues   and with other people's feelings. 

Depression- 

The feeling of depression is something we all experience from time to time. It can even help us to recognise and deal with problems in our lives. In clinical depression or bipolar disorder, the feeling of depression is much worse. It goes on for longer and makes it difficult or impossible to deal with the normal things of life. If you become depressed, you will notice some of these changes:

Emotional:

feelings of unhappiness that don't go away
feeling that you want to burst into tears for no reason
losing interest in things
being unable to enjoy things
feeling restless and agitated
losing self-confidence
feeling useless, inadequate and hopeless
feeling more irritable than usual
thinking of suicide.  
Thinking:

can t think positively or hopefully
finding it hard to make even simple decisions
difficulty in concentrating. 
Physical:

losing appetite and weight
difficulty in getting to sleep
waking earlier than usual
feeling utterly tired
constipation
going off sex. 
Behaviour:

difficulty in starting or completing things   even everyday chores
crying a lot   or feeling like you want to cry, but not being able to
avoiding contact with other people.
Causes:

Biological Causes: Experts say that patients with bipolar disorder often show physical changes in their brains. Nobody is sure why the changes lead to the disorder.
Genetic Traits: Researchers are involved in finding out whether or not the causes of bipolar disorder arise out of genes and other hereditary factors. If you have a first-degree relative or a sibling who is/was affected by this condition, you would probably have it too.
Neurotransmitters: Mood swing disorder is caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals known as  neurotransmitters .
Treatment Methods:

Initial Treatment: The initial treatment method is to take medications to balance and control the mood swings. After the symptoms are in control, one has to start working with his/her trusted doctor for chalking out an effective and practical long-term treatment procedure.

Recovery from substance abuse: Problems related to excessive alcohol and drug abuse are solved by this therapy. Failing this step, this disorder can be unmanageable.

Day care treatment: Day care treatment programs can be recommended by your doctor. This treatment method includes counseling and support which keep the bipolar traits under control.

Hospitalization: Hospitalization or immediate medical support is recommended in case of suicidal thoughts or when a person starts exhibiting erratic behavior (being psychotic).

Medications: Medications include the administration of antipsychotics (such as ziprasidone, olanzapine), antidepressants (usually in combination with a mood stabilizer or an anti-psychotic), mood stabilizers (such as valproic acid, lithium, divalproex sodium) and anti-anxiety medications.

Bipolar Affective Disorder - Symptoms and Treatments

Sound travels through different parts of the hearing system to produce the ultimate sense of sound in the brain. People can hear when a sound wave stimulates the neurological component of the inner ear and takes the sound signals to the brain.

When there is a problem with the ear, human beings cannot hear, or hear garbled sounds. Hearing loss may have different reasons. There may be a tumor in the ear, a problem with the eardrum, the inner ear or the neurological structure. Different conditions can plague the hearing system and cause hearing loss. Some of these conditions can be serious and require medical intervention.

Let us discuss 3 such conditions where the intervention of an audiologist is a must.

Tinnitus and Vertigo

 Tinnitus is a medical term for a sense of ringing in the ears. It s annoying, to say the least. But more importantly, it could be a sign of hearing loss. This is why people need to see an audiologist if they have a sense of Tinnitus for a prolonged time. An audiologist can first diagnose the condition, and can then treat this problem with the help of specialized hearing aids.

 Vertigo and dizziness are the other two problems that result from a hearing system problem. It may create balance disorders. It is said that vertigo originates in the inner ear. Vertigo can also be treated with the help of physical therapy and medicine.

 Sudden Hearing Loss

 The human ear cannot hear sounds greater than 85 dB in intensity and 20,000 Hertz in tone. If the sound tone is less than 20 Hertz, then too the human ear is not able to hear anything. Between these two polarities, the human ear is able to catch all types of sounds. If human beings are exposed to sound waves of more than 85 dB in intensity, the ears may get damaged. In that case one may suffer from hearing loss. If a person has recently experienced huge changes in air pressure, exposed to blaring music or noise at close quarters, or had an accident causing loss of hearing, one needs to see an audiologist. The ears need to be assessed for trauma, if any, and treated quickly. However, hearing loss may have other reasons too such as reactions to medicines, head injury or some kind of illness that affects the hearing system. An audiologist would be able to make the right determination.

 Recurrent Ear Infections

This is common in children, but that does not mean that adults are immune to it. If there is chronic ear pain, difficulty in hearing along with drainage and fever or a feeling of pressure, an ear infection is most likely. Any doctor can detect an ear infection, however, if it is a recurrent one needs to see an audiologist. He has the wherewithal to evaluate the middle ear with different tests. A person may need treatment that only an audiologist can do.

There can be many situations in which a visit to an Audiologist is warranted; the above 3 are just a tip of the iceberg.

Audiologist - Why To Visit One?

Depression is a very unfortunate state to be in, in every sense of the word. It is a sickness of the mind and can only be felt by the person experiencing it. As a matter of fact, it is even worse when depression does not occur on its own, but is rather accompanied by another condition such as fatigue.

There are many cases where depression occurs along with chronic fatigue syndrome. The irony is that when a person is depressed, he or she is unlikely to be willing to get out of bed and when this is compounded by chronic fatigue syndrome, even if the depression alleviates, it would not make much of a difference as it would be a case of  mind willing, flesh weak !

Many of the people who are diagnosed with depression have extreme patterns when it comes to sleep. Either he or she would sleep for extended periods of time and feel lethargic to do anything else. Or, the other situation is generally when he or she is more or less an insomniac and does not get sleep even if he or she would really like to grab a bit of shut-eye!

What are the Symptoms?
When a person is going through depression, it can be said to be of the highest importance to be able to judge the symptoms of the condition soon, so that the person can go and seek treatment. The symptoms, which are being talked about include extreme eating habits, that is, either eating way too much or not enough at all, along with a continuous sense of anxiety which, depending on how severe the case of depression is, can cause a person to have his or her mind clouded by the anxiety which over sweeps all other thoughts. In addition to these symptoms, there are other signs which appear with the onset and continuance of depression. These include disinterest in hobbies, which once appeared enjoyable to take part in.

Chronic fatigue syndrome kills off any urge to partake in any activity, which is voluntary in nature. With the combination of these two conditions, it can be quite possible, rather unfortunately, for a person to find himself or herself to be stuck in a vicious cycle. Sleep disorders, such as sleep apnea can really kill a person s zing and as a result of the same, make it harder for him or her to get out of depression and more likely to fall into depression if he or she has not yet. Curing depression includes changes schedules, engaging in yoga and other similar activities. Dietary changes may also be warranted. However, the recovery should take effect soon!

Depression - It Can Cause You to Feel 100 Years Old

Suffering from depression - Avoid these

Depression is a psychological condition that can drain your hope, energy and drive. The things that you once rejoiced might not be pleasurable anymore. Meanwhile, overcoming depression isn't quick or easy and it is recommended that you opt for counselling or professional support to help you through. At the same time, you need to avoid these practices, which tend to increase the intensity of depressive symptoms.

These are the things you should avoid while suffering from depression.

1. Avoid Staying Alone: When you are depressed, you might not feel pleasure in things you used to enjoy earlier. This might result in social isolation, making you lonelier and more depressed than ever. But living in social situations, meeting people will actually help you. It can take off your mind from the feelings of depression and while meeting people might not seem as enjoyable as it did before, it can certainly help in overcoming the feelings of loneliness.

2. Avoid NOT Seeking Help: Most of the people are unable to differentiate between sadness and depression. But if you are someone who has been feeling intensely sad for no reason, then you are probably depressed. So, don't avoid seeking help. Approach a therapist, even online if you want more confidentiality and privacy. A counsellor can actually help in overcoming the feeling of depression.

3. Avoid White Foods: Processed foods or white foods are simple carbohydrates that can actually lead to insulin dumping and trigger the process of depression. The surge of insulin will initially make you feel happier, but once that's surge goes down, you will begin to feel depressed again. This will even trigger hunger and particular cravings, which in turn affect depression symptoms negatively.

4. Products with Aspartame: Aspartame can lower the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that's associated with mood. Therefore, eating aspartame can increase the intensity of your depression symptoms, may result in insomnia as well.



Do You Feel DEPRESSED Often? Stay Away from These 4 Things!

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