Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

If you are concerned about the health of your heart, one of the primary and most important things to do is quit smoking. Avoiding and abstaining from smoking will heal the nicotine damage caused to your heart. This will enable you to lead a long and healthy life. Here are the reasons why you should quit smoking for the sake of your heart:

Reduced risk of heart attack: The benefits of not smoking start hours after you quit, and the heart rate and blood pressure get normalised slowly. By quitting smoking, your chances of having a heart attack are reduced by 50%.
In case of women, quitting smoking has special benefits: Women generally have a smaller body frame than men, and the harmful effects of smoking on a woman s heart are considered to be more dangerous and concentrated. Female smokers under the age of sixty are more likely to experience a condition known as cholesterol plaque erosion, which is a fatal blood vessel condition. Women smokers are likely (seven times more than men) to develop heart complications due to smoking.
When you quit smoking, your heart is no longer exposed to harmful chemicals: Cigarette smoke contains toxins such as arsenic, formaldehyde and benzene. The chemical substances may be hazardous to the blood vessels in your body, and the heart muscles get damaged. Once you quit smoking, these chemicals will no longer enter your body, making your heart healthier.
Quitting smoking benefits other people as well: When children and people are exposed to tobacco smoke, their chances of having plaque in their heart s arteries are enhanced. This may cause a stroke.
Quitting smoking reduces the chances of getting hospitalised: A smoker may be at the risk for getting hospitalised because of several conditions such as congestive heart failure, chronic obstructive pulmonary diseases, much more than a non-smoker. After quitting smoking, the chances of being hospitalised decrease within five years.
Quitting smoking lowers the risk of having atherosclerosis: Atherosclerosis is a blood vessel disease which is caused due to inflammations all over the body. Because of this, the arteries may stiffen and thicken. Smokers face the risk of acquiring this condition three times more than non-smokers.
You can quit smoking most effectively by combining behavioural support along with prescribed medication. People using this type of multi-treatment are likely to become successful at quitting smoking. You should consult a specialist who is certified in tobacco treatment, who will provide you with a plan. It will include counselling, medicines and a nicotine replacement therapy.

Smoking - How Quitting It Is Good For Your Heart?


A new relationship involves a lot of weighing from both the sides. Learn what really matters to win people over in this post. When you want to build a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. These factors are broadly the same in different age groups as far as psychological impact matters. Some of the most important influential factors from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here. 

1. Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn't mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear. Always learn to put your best foot forward as sometimes that itself may not be enough. You can't really send your neighbour for your job interview!! There are many instances when people send different photographs in their applications and different ones appear for the exams. This is mere cheating and not winning.

2. Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it's like something which is there but you can never want to do anything with! When you are honest with your plans and they workout as you described it, it creates confidence in relationship or else it is destroyed forever. You can cheat a person with your plans once, not forever.

3. Possibilities- Will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on person's needs. Some relationships neither bring us trouble nor benefits us, such relationships are better than the ones which can cause harm.

4. Potential – Question. Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that's it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

5. Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

6. Partnerships – When we want to build a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn't partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activities is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activities of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tongue tastes and thinking perceives as appropriate.

7. Positioning attitudes- As a tree bends with the winds to prevent from cracking, we all have to be flexible with our attitudes towards each other. Being too rigid about our protocol on how relationships should run irrespective of the reality and circumstances of the person we are having a relationship with is naturally going to break relationships. After all a doctor who heals and prevents all illnesses is better than a doctor who abuses his patients for falling ill but never does anything for them. Eg: You get bed and good food in a hotel as well as at your home. A hotel will provide food only on payment of money, but family will provide it whenever your hungry. Hence hotels can never expect the same emotions as family can, and this is as natural as it should be. Hence be careful what you want from a relationship. Whether you want to be treated as a hotel or family is entirely how you play yourself with others. After all only families can expect loyalty not hotels.

8. Politeness- In any relationship, many years down the line, what our long term memory retains is how comfortable we were in that relationship. Even if we profit from a particular relationship, the fact that it shook us mentally and emotionally will never allow us to go back or retain that relationship. Life is short and the only thing that matters is to spend it comfortably. Not destroy our peace for some benefit that destroys our peace of mind.

9. Personation- While sending a representative of your organization for a client meeting may work in business, you cant really send a representative to meet you wife or kids at home. In personal relationship, lack of your physical presence obviously means that you don’t have time for them. In any relationship, individuality matters a lot. Just imagine, if all actors acted exactly the same in movies, why would you prefer any particular one over the other as your favourite? The nuances and differences in our personalities are what makes us all unique. We are not robots from a particular brand to behave exactly the same way. If a person in a relationship doesn't sense your individuality you are wasting their time by trying to have a relationship with them, especially a personal one.

10. Positive reinforcement- When we get into a relationship, it is important that we feel good about ourselves and what we are doing. If you feel like a shoplifter entering a shop, you will not feel good about that relationship. When a shopkeeper welcomes us, shows us his products, tells us their details and provides all the explanations on how we will be well off with the product, provides his guarantee for it, confirms its essence, many people buy it even if they don’t compulsively need it. It’s the same in relationships. On the same side if a shopkeeper is arrogant, avoidant, abusive, insulting etc you are very unlikely to buy anything in that shop because you are not sure that the shopkeeper means any good and will be happy with the shopkeeper s product. The experience of buying is as important as the product we buy. Nobody is happy about something they got when they weren't treated the right way or is interested in retaining it when they don’t get good service for it.

11. Persistence on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistent on all the above P's. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then when you need it may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve daily to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”

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How To Win Over New Relationships

Bipolar disorder:

Also known as manic-depressive disorder, bipolar disorder is the sudden change in mood, which might take a swing from depression to mania. It is a very severe disorder and can bring about unstable and precarious behavior. The risk of having suicidal tendencies is also quite high. Bipolar disorder is usually treated with medicines alongside therapy.

Symptoms:

1. Bipolar mania
2. Hypomania
3. Depression
4. Mood swings

The mood swings do not follow any particular pattern.

Schizophrenia Disorder

Schizophrenia is a chronic mental disorder which affects the general behavior and lifestyle of a person. Schizophrenics might face a difficulty in distinguishing between the real and the imaginary.
Contrary to public belief, schizophrenia is neither split personality nor multiple personalities. It is not an after effect of any previous traumatic experience. It might be genetic or a result of chemical imbalance in the brain chemicals.

Symptoms:

1. Paranoia
2. Senseless talking
3. Feeling apathetic
4. Insomnia
5. Personality change
6. Hallucinations
7. Delusions
8. Withdrawal from society
9. Attention deficit disorder or add

No specific medicine is available for schizophrenia. Usually, rehabilitation is advised to regain confidence and recover skills required for a productive life.

Psychosis

Similar to schizophrenia, psychosis is another mental disorder which is characterized by hallucinations and delusions. Psychosis is extremely dangerous and harmful as it might spur you to cause self-inflicted wounds and pain. It is of utmost importance to consult a doctor immediately after experiencing psychotic symptoms.

Symptoms:

1. Hallucinations
2. Delusions
3. Depression
4. Anxiety
5. Suspicion
6. Insomnia or hypersomnia
7. Withdrawal from society
8. Attention deficit disorder or add
9. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD

The only available diagnosis for psychosis is a psychiatric evaluation. Certain medical tests and x-rays may also be executed along with it to detect the underlying cause. Psychosis may be caused due to Parkinson's disease, Huntington's disease, brain tumors, Alzheimer's disease, epilepsy, etc.

Although there aren't any medical complications in psychosis, it should not be left untreated due to its harmful effects. Medication and therapy are the known cures of psychosis.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, Schizophrenia Disorder and Psychosis

An event or an accident that leaves us overwhelmed can lead to post traumatic stress disorder, also known as ptsd. A particularly stressful situation or event that has created terror or been overly dramatic or dangerous can lead to stress and anxiety long after the individual has physically come out of the situation. This kind of a traumatic condition is usually what characterises ptsd. This condition is something that is persistent, and can linger on for a long time, calling for medical supervision and care. Here's a list of things you need to know about ptsd.


	Duration: post traumatic stress disorder usually lasts up to six months. Yet, there are cases where it lingers on and requires treatment for some particular types of symptoms or behavioural changes. Usually, the patient's behaviour is a result of one or more of the symptoms discussed below.
	Re-experiencing symptoms: these symptoms include flashbacks and life like re-imagination in the form of dreams and nightmares. In many cases, the patient may remember and re-experience the entire scene or series of events that have led to the trauma in the first place. This can be triggered by a memory or association with words, events and other such things that have to do with the memory of the traumatic episode.
	Avoidance symptoms: a traumatised patient may go out of his or her way to avoid things that are remotely close to the traumatic incident. They may fear a reoccurrence or a reminder of the event and may avoid addressing the trauma altogether. Patients suffering from this symptom may have created a mental block, and may not be able to remember the exact details of the event. They may also feel emotions like fear, guilt, depression and even worry, over the past incident which led to the trauma in the first place.&nbsp;
	Arousal symptoms: arousal or reactivity symptoms may trigger the same reactions that the person showed during the traumatic experience. These may include being on edge constantly in anticipation of a reoccurrence, or even getting startled by the slightest thing since the mind is already occupied with thoughts of the event, constantly. Anger and emotional outbursts may also be caused due to these symptoms.
	Mood symptoms: mood swings are the most common outcome of these symptoms. The patient may experience a complete lack of enthusiasm and drive to indulge in activities like hobbies and socialising. Also, the patient may end up harbouring feelings of negativity towards family, friends and strangers, besides going through phases of guilt and self blame for the occurrence of the traumatic event.


Ptsd can be a debilitating disorder in the emotional sense, and should be treated by a psychiatrist in case it lingers on for more than six months.


All About Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

7 dangerous things that smoking does to your skin

Most people think that having a smoking habit adversely affects only the lungs and the heart. But apart from known links to lung cancer and heart disorders, smoking also causes skin damage. The intensity of damage is directly proportional to the number of cigarettes one smokes in a day and the number of years one has been smoking for.

Here are 7 of the horrible things that smoking does to your skin

1. Premature ageing: the process of skin ageing is accelerated by a smoking habit. The chemicals that are ingested through the smoke cause your skin to age much faster, making it look loose, dull and coarse, with uneven colouring. Most smokers have a muted orange or grey tinge to their complexions.

2. Wrinkles and lines: the nicotine from smoke constricts blood vessels in the outer layers of the skin, thereby cutting off the supply of oxygen and nutrients. This causes the skin to develop visible fine lines and wrinkles at a faster rate.

3. Scarring and pigmentation: since blood is not flowing properly to the outer layers of the skin, it is more susceptible to broken capillaries and veins, which can cause dark scarring and pigmentation on the face and other areas.

4. Darkening of the lips: constant exposure to heat from smoking causes stark darkening and pigmentation in the lips, which also become dry and coarse.

5. Delayed wound healing: the presence of nicotine, tar and other chemicals in the blood causes cuts and wounds on the skin to heal at a much slower pace with an increased risk of infection, blood clot formation and death of skin tissue.

6. Increased risk of skin disease: smoking makes the skin prone to various diseases and conditions like psoriasis, which happen as nicotine adversely affects the body's immune system.

7. High chances of skin cancer: skin cancer and oral cancer are the two lesser known variants of the diseases that can be caused by smoking. Skin cancer is far more common among smokers than among non-smokers.

The harmful effects of smoking on the skin are not entirely discernible until after 10 years of prolonged smoking. Fortunately, your skin starts to heal itself when you kick the habit.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: E-cigarettes : Good Or Bad?

7 Dangerous Changes that Smoking Causes to Your SKIN

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