No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is also known as OCD. It is a mental ailment that causes specific changes in the brain as well as the behaviour of the patient. It can also cause severe anxiety and lead the patient to consume a lot of time for completing even the most normal tasks. These obsessions are like thoughts, images and even videos playing where the cause of a certain action becomes more profound with the number of imagined risks if it is not done in a specific way, as per the mind of the patient. These turn into repetitive actions undertaken by the patient, where these actions are known as compulsions.

Hence the term: obsessive compulsive disorder. Washing, cleaning, losing control, contamination fears and more are only a few of the thoughts that plague patients suffering from this disorder. While this disorder may not have a specific cure, there are various ways in which it can be managed. Let us look at some of these methods.

What Causes OCD-

The exact cause of OCD is unknown. It is generally considered unlikely that OCD develops purely psychologically as a consequence of the way we are brought up.

Genetics and Physiology: It is generally accepted that OCD arises from differences in the physiology of the brain in people with the condition.
Serotonin: Lack of serotonin activity appears to be involved in causing OCD. Serotonin is a calming and inhibitory neurotransmitter, one of its main actions is to control and put the brakes on painful, worrying or anxious thoughts.
Traumatic Life Events: Traumatic emotional events such as bereavement may trigger or worsen OCD in people who already have a tendency to have the condition.
Treatment of OCD-

For best results in treating this troublesome anxiety disorder combine brain-chemistry balancing approaches with psychotherapy techniques.

Nutritional Therapy: Try tryptophan and St John's Wort to increase serotonin. Rhodiola has been shown to help generalised anxiety disorder however Rhodiola has the ability to raise 'brain energy' and therefore hypothetically may exa-sperate OCD symptoms.
L-theanine or just theanine for short is an amino acid found in tea that has a calming and anti-anxiety effect. Theanine increases GABA activity in the brain and is well worth a try.
The Inositol Treatment of OCD: Inositol, one of the B vitamins, has been found effective in treating OCD. Inositol is used in biochemical processes that affect serotonin receptors.
Psychotherapy: This is also known as discussion or talk therapy where the patient is allowed to engage with a therapist who is usually a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist. The doctor will help the patient in first of all, becoming aware of the problem by helping the patient carry out various tasks in a controlled environment. These tasks will be timed and then relayed to the patient before the exposure therapy begins, where the patient will be taught to build a better quality of life. This a long term and time taking process which can also involve group sessions and sessions with the family members. Also, this method takes a lot of practice so that the patient learns how to regulate the obsessions and stop the compulsive behaviour gradually.
Exercise: Numerous studies have shown the benefits of exercise upon mental health. So, a minimum of 20mins of daily exercise can help you a lot.
Relaxation Training & Meditation: Learning meditation and relaxation techniques may enhance one's ability to control anxiety and one's thoughts in general.
Medication: There are various kinds of medicines that can be prescribed for these patients. Anti-depressants can help the patient in overcoming the fears and anxiety that a person feels when the wheels of one's imagination begin to turn towards obsessive thoughts. This will also help in tackling the hopelessness that the person feels when faced with the so called depressing outcome of not bowing to the compulsive habits.
Putting It All Together-

Follow the diet for serotonin deficient depression, and GABA deficient anxiety.
Consult with a qualified therapist using behavioural rather than analytical techniques.
Do some repetitive mind-occupying/filling as opposed to mind-emptying meditations everyday.

How to Deal with OCD

Arachnoiditis is a sort of inflammation of the defensive layers of the spinal canal. You can envisage it as the scar tissues that enlarge in the arachnoid lining. Also the lining can turn out to be inflamed due to the recurrent intervention on the spine, a lot of surgeries can lead to the scarring, for instance. It can also expand due to definite type of the spinal infections as well as due to the chemicals of epidural steroid injections, particularly if these kinds of chemicals get into the spinal fluid.

As the disease increases day by day, the symptoms also become bigger in magnitude. A lot of people who are suffering from this type of problems are incapable of working. Further due to Arachnoiditis the following symptoms are likely to happen

Grounds of the nerve roots to plod together
The nerve pain
The numbness
The tingling
Radio Frequency rhizotomy is primarily effectual on the joint pain. Patients who are good candidates for the RF have the pain whilst they're doing activities that increase the stress of the spine. Also the RF blocks all the nerves around the joint from sending the pain signals to the brain, as well as that pain free period normally lasts around one year. In that time, patients have to learn regarding the postural correction as well as the good body mechanics. RF presents the patients an option to get back their mobility as well as provide training regarding the movements of their daily lives with the less pain.

The details of information about drugs which might help arachnoiditis:
There are lots of pain management treatments available. Further patients might try the medications to find out the pain relief. A number of options are:

The NSAIDs ( one kind of the anti-inflammatory drugs)
The corticosteroids kind of drugs
The anti-spasm type of the drugs
Also an anti-convulsant drugs as well as
The narcotic type of the pain relievers
A number of these types of medications might be given with a spinal pump. That is the little device which is entrenched under the skin and it then distributes the medication straightly to the inflamed area.
Also the patients might also take the spinal cord stimulation. On the other hand, the natural type of the treatments can assist, also, as well as it can often be utilized in conjunction with the prescribed type of the medication. You can also consult with your doctor about your options regarding your treatments.

Arachnoiditis - Pain Management Techniques For It!

What is depression?

It is a state of mind when a person feels very low, loses interest in routine daily activities, feels hopeless and helpless. Many times the person starts thinking about suicide. It is a very dangerous state and needs immediate intervention from mental health professionals.

Assessment of depression:

Anyone feeling very sad cannot be called as a" depressed" person. To confirm the depression, the person needs to undergo assessment tests by either a psychologist or a psychiatrist. A" depression test" is carried out to see the exact intensity of depression.

Symptoms of depression:

Feeling very sad all the time, continuously for more than 15 days: feeling very sad continuously for a period of 15 days or more confirms depression. But just feeling sad sometimes is not depression.

 Crying for no specific reason: a depressed person may cry without any specific reason or provocation. The internal feeling of sadness is so intense, that the person cries without a good reason.
 Feeling worthless and hopeless: a depressed person has very low self esteem. The person thinks that he/she is useless, has no value and respect in the society. A depressed person feels hopeless. He/she thinks that'this is the end of the world' and things cannot improve. The person does not have any hopes about future and may start thinking about committing suicide or may attempt suicide.
 Loss of interest in life: the person loses interest in life. Does not feel like taking part in any activities which she/he were interested in doing earlier. There is nothing to look forward to, in their life.
 Ignoring personal hygiene: the person is so disinterested in life that she/he becomes careless about personal hygiene. They may not take bath for days together, may not even change their clothes or comb their hair or brush their teeth and are least bothered about the general cleanliness.
 Sleep disorders: the depressed person may sleep all the time or may not be able to sleep at all, which affects their overall health.
 Eating disorders: the person with depressive symptoms may stop eating or eat very little or in some cases eat a lot.
 Lack of sexual desire: the person may lose interest in sex and stop interacting with the sexual partner or start avoiding them.
 Feeling like a loser all the time, not wanting to fight back: the person has no self confidence and hence loses all the faith in his/her own abilities. Does not believe that he/she can face difficult situations and also can fight back.
 Becoming antisocial: the person avoids meeting other people and does not interact with people at home.

Causes of depression:

There are various factors, which may cause depression:

Family history: a person who has a family history of depression is more likely to have depression. If any of the parents or grandparents were diagnosed with depression then the person is more susceptible to depression.

Trauma: if a person has gone through a'life changing' experience, it can cause depression. Situations, such as a sudden death of a loved one or in case of witnessing devastating natural disasters like earthquake or tsunami or a war survivor, someone who has experienced terrorist attack or when someone has suffered sexual or physical abuse etc. May cause depression.

Health issues: if a person is having terminal illness, that can cause depression as the person has to endure lot of pain and has no hopes about recovery.

Relationship problems: if a person is dissatisfied with his/her close relationships like relation with the spouse, parents, siblings or offsprings, then the person may feel like a failure and feels worthless, unwanted or betrayed.

Financial issues: a person having any financial issue like not able to get a job or loss of job, incurring heavy losses in business or unable to earn enough money to satisfy the basic needs etc. Might get depressed.

Failures in life: failure to pass an examination, failure to achieve targets/goals, failure in love affair etc. May result in depression.

Treatment for depression:

Depression may fall in the category of mild, moderate and severe. But it is very important that the person gets assessed for the severity of depression.

Assessment by a psychiatrist/psychologist/counsellor: a person needs to be assessed by either a psychiatrist or a psychologist or a counsellor, to understand the intensity of depression. These mental health professionals may assess a person by talking to him/her and if required by applying certain'depression assessment' tests.

Medication and counselling: in case of moderate to severe depression, a psychiatrist will prescribe certain medication. Along with the medicines, counselling sessions work very well. In case of mild depression, only counselling also can be helpful.

Depression is treatable: if you come across someone with depressive symptoms, kindly advise them to seek help from a counsellor, psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Depression What You Need to Know About It

What you must know about body ache


Affecting your entire body, body ache is usually an indicator of a condition that requires your attention for the pain to stop or a reaction of your body's immune system to an infection. Understanding the symptoms and the cause of the pain is the first step towards getting the right treatment for your problem.
The causes of body ache can be any one of these:
  an increase in your body's lactic acid as a result of overused muscles (that you normally experience when you perform strenuous exercises) leads to body aches that are not severe but temporary in nature.
  temporary body aches can also occur if you suffer from flu caused by the influenza virus and other medical conditions like fever and viral infections, among others.
  a cause of body aches can be the presence of a serious condition such as Lyme disease or pneumonia that brings about major infection affecting your entire body.
  inflammation of body cells or damage to your body's nervous system in the form of chronic ailments like autoimmune diseases and psychiatric problems can also cause pains and aches to develop all over the body.

What can you do to manage it?
There are simple ways that you can employ to relieve your body aches based on the root cause and these are:

  if the cause of your body ache is the flu, the best way to alleviate your condition is to take a hot bath. The hot water works by eliminating the body pains you may be suffering from. Even a gentle massage can soothe the ache affecting your entire body.
  for body aches that are caused due to overused muscle, you need to apply ice packs for 2-3 weeks on the affected area to bring down the inflammation. Even the application of a heating pad can help in relieving body aches brought on by muscle soreness.
  shoulder and neck pains can be easily prevented by performing simple exercises from time to time such as shoulder shrugs or head turns. Also, the practice of using wrist and forearm rests can reduce your chances of getting shoulder and neck aches.
  reducing your stress levels can also help in effectively lowering the instances of body ache. From sleeping on time to meditating for about 20 minutes a day can help in lowering stress.

In case, you do not get relief from any of the suggested ways, you need to consult a qualified doctor who will guide you on the right treatment course. 

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'
Related Tip: Why does PAIN occur? Understand the Mechanism of Pain

Body Ache? Here's What You Must Know about Body Pain

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