Anger is a very negative emotion and can be the underlying cause of many relationships falling apart. There are people who cannot manage their anger completely and express it by yelling, throwing things, or even physically harming others. While anger is a natural emotion, it is important to control it else it can even harm one s own health. 

Research has proven that every emotion is associated with a chemical reaction in the brain. While happiness produces certain chemicals, anger produces another set, leading to a different impact on health. Therefore, it is essential to learn to control anger, so that the negative reactions can be controlled. The following are some simple but effective ways to manage your temper:

Take a pause: It is a known fact that what is said in the heat of the moment can be very damaging. The person s response may be completely different if they speak after a while. Some people even would ask if it was indeed them who spoke or did that. Therefore, learn to count to ten or take deep breaths when you know you are angry. This can help you gather your thoughts and respond more aptly.
Be assertive: Learn to respond without sounding argumentative, at the same time being assertive. Do not try to control others when trying to make your point.
Regular timeout: For some people, there are periods of the day which prove to be more stressful than the others. Even a simple walk for 10 to 15 minutes can improve your oxygen intake and aid in anger management.
Nurture your sense of humor: While not all would have it, it is definitely possible to look at the funny side of things. This definitely helps in not just easing the stress and reducing tension for all, but also reduces the anger you feel towards a particular situation or person.
Relaxation techniques: Be it meditation or yoga, these help you relax by focusing on the breathing. Even exercise, writing poems or stories, singing songs, or listening to music can help in reducing stress and controlling anger.
Professional help: While it may sound a bit too far-fetched, it is not. If the above self-help measures do not help in managing your anger, and you realize it is taking a toll on your health and/or relationships, seek professional help. With changing life situations, anger management has become a separate area in itself, and with some help, you could greatly change your quality of life.
Rewards: Reward yourself each time you control your anger and respond in a calmer manner. Over a period of time, this induced habit will become your normal response.

7 Best Tips To Help You Manage Anger!

Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

Autism is a development disorder which is characterized by the problems that occurred while interacting with people socially. And, sometimes the person's behavior becomes repetitive or restricted. This is basically caused by a combination of environmental and genetic factors. Several risk factors are also there such as rubella or valproic acid infection during pregnancy.  Autism affects the process of sending information to the brain by changing the synapses of the nerve cells. However, the signs of autism often evolve slowly usually parents notice these signs in the initial years of their child's life.


Symptoms of Autism
Autism is basically a very highly unstable neurodevelopmental disorder which appears initially during infancy and then firmly follows without remission. And, the eating behavior might also be unusual at times.

People affected with autism might be severely impaired in some way or they might be evenly superior in other ways.
Some symptoms begin gradually after for 6 months and becomes well established by the course of time when they reach the age of 2 to 3 years and steadily continuous through adulthood.
Symptoms of individual occur basically within the general population and it pretty much appears not to be associated itself highly, separating common traits from being pathologically severe.
Infants with autism show very little attention towards social affection and tend to smile less often and take time to respond to their own name.
Children who are affected by Autism that functions frequently, often subjected to intense loneliness if compared to the non-autistic children.
Sometimes behaviors on these children might be self-injurious like biting its own hand or banging its head, poking their own eyes.
The daily activities might not vary at all like them and not tend to change the menu or how they dress.
Treatment for Autism
When a child is being treated with autism, then the main goal to lessen the deficit and the distress of the family and improving your child's quality of life. Some medications also used to treat the symptoms of ASD. Some common drugs, antidepressants or stimulants or antipsychotics suggest aripiprazole or risperidone. There must also be a specific teaching method that will help the autistic child to learn some significant social skills that will encourage him or her to interact more with others. 


Autism Signs Parents Need To Be Aware Of!

While some people see tears as a sign of weakness, for others crying is a crucial way of dealing with grief. Though as children we re told not to cry and to  keep a hold  of our emotions, letting go of a few tears can help alleviate grief and emotional distress. 

Here are a few reasons crying could be a good idea when dealing with loss.

Crying can stimulate the release of endorphins: Crying cleanses the mind of negative emotions and allows you to express your emotions. Crying can be described as a reaction to pain and in order to control pain, the body releases endorphins. Endorphins are also known as happy hormones as they block the transmission of pain signals and create a sense of contentment. These chemicals can take a little time to have an effect and hence in most cases, you will notice an improvement in your mood after a good cry.
Crying elevates the mood: Crying can help reduce your body s manganese levels. A higher than normal manganese level can heighten anxiety, irritability, tiredness and emotional disturbances. By lowering manganese levels, the brain is left with enough space for happier emotions and hence crying can help elevate a person s mood.
Crying stimulates the body s parasympathetic nervous system: The parasympathetic nervous system controls a number of functions including heart rate. Crying can stimulate this system and trigger a state of relaxation. For this reason, you may feel sleepy after crying. This gives your body time to relax and deal with the problem at hand with a calmer mind.
Crying helps deal with stress: A stressful experience or emotional situation can cause a build-up of stress hormones known as cortisol. As the levels of cortisol increase in the body, it goes into flight or fight mode as an automatic response to stress. Crying reduces the cortisol levels and helps relieve tension and stress almost immediately.
Crying is cathartic: Every day we are exposed to conflicts and stressful situations that can build up into resentments and leave a person feeling anxious and depressed. Sometimes, giving vent to emotions and crying can help release these pent-up feeling and heap cleanse the mind of these negative emotions. Crying also allows us to open ourselves up to the people around and can improve the levels of intimacy between them. In this way, it can help a person become part of a community.

Crying - Can it Help You Overcome Sadness?

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

An eating disorder, mostly appears when your food habits reach levels of extremity. Anorexia nervosa and Bulimia are two main and the most common eating disorders found in men and women. One is the lower extreme while the other is the higher extreme in terms of food intake.

1. Anorexia: People who are affected with anorexia think of themselves to be very overweight in spite of actually being very slim and thin. Anorexia inflicted people consume less than a thousand calories per day. They exercise rigorously and try to find more ways to lose weight. They vomit a lot due to the insufficient diet and suffer more. The treatment for anorexia nervosa generally includes a mix of mental treatment, and regulated weight gain program. An anorexia patient should seek treatment as early as possible. The best ways to deal with anorexia are:

Psychological Treatment: Various psychological treatments can be used to cure anorexia of different stages. They are cognitive analytic therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, interpersonal therapy, focal psychodynamic therapy. A family's response is also an important psychological factor. Proper encouragement and effort should be given.

Weight gain program: This measure will guide an anorexic patient to improve his diet habits and slowly gain weight. A patient is monitored carefully, traits are recognized and a likewise diet pattern is given.

2. Bulimia: Bulimia nervosa is another category of eating disorder. The main characteristic of this disorder is  overeating in the highest level. Binge eating is observed, followed by attempts by the affected individual to lose weight. A bulimic patient is constantly trapped in the cycle of overeating and then thinking about losing weight.

Maybe you do not like the idea of binge eating and fear getting obese, but once affected by bulimia a patient cannot follow this and binge eats. Later, they adopt extreme measures for losing weight. The primary methods to deal with bulimia are:

a. Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy, or talk therapy includes examining your bulimia and related issues with an expert. It is proven that these sorts of psychotherapies restrict the symptoms of bulimia. The three modes of psychotherapy include- Cognitive-behavioral therapy, Family-based therapy and Interpersonal psychotherapy.

b. Medications: Medicines such as anti-depressants can be taken by bulimia patients along with psychotherapy. Prozac is a recommended and effective medicine.

c.Proper diet plan: For bulimia affected patients, having a proper balanced diet is very essential. A diet expert should be consulted, who will make the most essential food pattern for you. Undertaking a weight loss program is also recommended.

Eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia should be avoided, and you should know the best ways to deal with them.

How to Deal With Anorexia and Bulimia

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