HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

What is Monogamous Relationship?

You (who have been tested for STD/STIs and don't have any) are having sex with only one partner (who also has been tested for STD/STIs and doesn't have any) who only has sex with you. And you both keep it that way! 

Stated another way, you are both STD/STI free and only have sex with each other. People of any sexual orientation can engage in monogamous relationships. The only thing implied by the term monogamy is that the relationship consists of two people who are romantically and/or sexually exclusive. Theoretically, outside of abstinence, this is really the safest type of "safer sex" that you can have. 

Celebrated on 1st December of each year, World AIDS Day, aims to spread awareness about HIV / AIDs. It is an STD wherein, HIV stands for human immunodeficiency infection and AIDS stands for acquired immune deficiency syndrome. The disease hinders the immune system in keeping up our body s security against sickness. HIV causes individuals to end up wiped out with infections that regularly would not affect them and HIV leads to AIDS.

Understanding the Symptoms:

HIV has few or no signs or symptoms for up to ten years or more before side effects of AIDS tends to manifest. There is no cure for HIV/AIDS, yet treatment is accessible. A few people have HIV symptoms not long after being infected. These include:

There are a few phases of HIV illness. The primary HIV side effects may include swollen glands in the throat, armpit, or crotch.
Other early HIV symptoms incorporate slight fever, headaches, exhaustion, and muscle throbs.
These symptoms may keep on going for just a couple of weeks. At that point, there are typically no HIV indications for a long time. That is the reason it can be difficult to know whether or not a person is suffering from HIV.
The symptoms of AIDS show up in the most advanced phase of the HIV disease. These are as follows:

Along with a severely damaged immune system, a person with AIDS may likewise have thrush. A thrush is a thick, whitish covering on the tongue that is brought about by a yeast infection and now and then joined by a sore throat.
Serious or repetitive vaginal yeast infection.
Pelvic inflammatory illness.
Serious and frequent infections.
Unexplained fatigue that might be followed by headaches, dizziness.
Loss of more than ten pounds of weight that is not because of physical exercise or consuming fewer calories.
Risk Factors: There are a lot of ways in which you can get the infection. HIV is transmitted through blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk. The most well-known ways in which HIV is spread, are:

Having sexual intercourse without a condom with somebody who has HIV/AIDS.
Using needles or syringes that have been used by someone who has HIV/AIDS.
Being punctured with a needle or surgical instrument that has been contaminated with HIV.
Getting HIV blood, semen or vaginal discharge into open injuries or wounds.
Babies born to women with HIV/AIDS can get HIV from their mothers during birth or from breastfeeding.
There are numerous ways in which you can protect yourself from HIV. These are as follows:

The most secure way is to limit the number of sexual partners you take on.
Try to have safer sex and always use protection.
Get your partners tested for HIV.
HIV tests are a typical piece of social insurance.
In case that you think you may have been infected by HIV, talk to a specialist or a doctor about testing. Discussing what risks you might have taken can help you choose whether testing is ideal for you.

This World AIDS Day - Let's Spread the Awareness About HIV/AIDS

5 reasons you will see blood in urine

The condition in which blood appears in the urine is known as hematuria. The loss of blood in this condition could be gross or microscopic depending on the cause of the condition. There are several causes why blood may appear in the urine. Whatever the cause may be, hematuria is mostly indicative of a serious medical condition.

Here are 5 reasons that cause blood to appear in the urine.

1. Infection

Infections like urethritis, pyelonephritis, cystitis or infection in any other body organ along the urinary tract is one of the most common causes of hematuria. Such bacterial infection in the urethra can also infect the kidneys and the urinary bladder. It results in the urge to urinate frequently and also causes blood to appear in the urine.

2. Kidney stones and bladder stones

Another reason that can cause blood to appear in the urine is the presence of stones in the kidney or bladder. These stones are crystallized minerals that are formed in the kidney or the bladder but fail to pass through the urinary tract. They cause blockage and pain and result in hematuria.

3. An enlarged prostate

An enlarged prostate is a common cause of the appearance of blood in the urine in men who are in their middle ages or older. Enlargement of the prostate gland causes the urethra to be compressed. This prevents the urethra from getting fully emptied while urination.

4. Polycystic kidney disease

PKD is a kidney disorder in which cysts filled with fluid form in the kidneys and impair the kidneys, causing them to fail entirely at times. It is an inherited disease and causes blood to appear in the urine.

In children who are between 6-10 years of age, kidney disorder after streptococcal glomerulonephritis can be a possible cause of hematuria.

5. Cancer

A cancerous kidney, bladder or prostate gland can also cause blood to appear in the urine. It is another major cause of hematuria but usually occurs in older patients.




5 Reasons You Will See Blood in Urine

Eczema is something which can really blight the quality of the life of a person. Sometimes, even the most mundane of things can cause our skin to have a reaction, resulting in allergic eczema. However, while it is annoying and painful, there are ways to go about treating it.

It is quite important, though, to understand what exactly eczema is. Simply put, it is a condition which occurs when the skin of the person suffering from it is inflamed.

Among the various groups of people who suffer from eczema, a lot of them are actually babies. However, they thankfully are able to grow out of the issue by the time they become adults. While it is true that eczema can strike any part of a person s body, among the places it strikes most often are the face, the neck and behind the sweat spots of the body i.e. the area behind the knees and around the ankles.

What causes allergic eczema?
Eczema is a lot of the time, a condition which is genetic. That being said, there are certain things which can go a long way into making it worse, which include stress and dry climates as well as external materials which irritate the skin touching it, like soaps which are just too strong.

What are the Treatment Options?
When it comes to things, which have the potential to make the situation a lot better, there is a group of medicines which are part of the antihistamine group which can work wonders. An interesting thing when it comes to the treatment of allergic eczema is the fact that a lot of the treatment for the issue involves a management of the inflammation that occurs along with an attempt to take better control and manage the immune system of the person who has eczema.

Depending on the severity of eczema a person has, a possible course of treatment involves making use of corticosteroids, which are strictly a prescription based way to go about treating eczema. Keeping this in mind, it is of the highest importance to make sure that whenever the steroids are being taken by mouth, there is a full adherence to what the doctor has recommended or directed.

As a last ditch resort, if the condition is really bad, there is a possibility of going for Ultra Violet Therapy in order to make it better. However, if one is looking for ways to reduce the intensity of their eczema sans higher doses of medication, stress management in something that can work well. In addition to this, a humidifier can do a lot to improve the situation.

Allergic Eczema - Ways You Can Contact It!

Pneumonia is a lung infection that can be potentially fatal if it is not treated on time. This disease may cause fever, cough, cold and congestion and is known to clear within two to three weeks with bed rest and proper remedies at home. Yet, it is best to have it checked by a doctor, especially if it happens to affect a child. The causes of symptoms of this condition are as follows:

Symptoms: The most common symptom of pneumonia is a painful cough with which you will end up throwing out lots of mucus. This mucus or sputum usually comes from the lungs. The patient may also have fever and may experience shortness of breath and shallow breathing on several occasions. Further, chills that cause chattering teeth and shivering, can also afflict the patient, especially during the night. Chest pain is also a common symptom of this condition due to the excessive and persistent coughing, laboured breathing and congestion. Due to this, the patient may also experience accelerated heartbeat and a pounding heart. Nausea, weakness, fatigue and loose motions are some of the other symptoms of this condition.

Causes

Germs: Germs finding their way into the lungs is a sure shot way of contracting pneumonia. These bacteria are most likely to strike when you have just recovered from a flu, cold or fever following which your immunity is pretty low.
Chronic Ailments: Patients who are suffering from chronic ailments like asthma, heart disease, diabetes and even cancer, are at risk of getting pneumonia, in which case immediate treatment will be required so that it does not become a fatality.
Bacteria: While the specific bacteria cannot be diagnosed with the help of tests, the most common bacteria that cause this condition are known as Streptococcus Pneumoniae. Other bacteria that can cause this disease include the Mycoplasma Pneumoniae which can cause a more mild form of pneumonia known as walking pneumonia.
Virus: The viruses that cause influenza like virus A and B can also cause this disease along with the respiratory syncytial virus or RSV. These affect the nose, lungs and throat.
Immunity: When your immune system is impaired or when you have just recovered from a bout of moderate to serious ailments, this virus or bacteria is most rampant and can afflict you. In case the patient is suffering from AIDS or other fungal infections, the risk of contracting pneumonia is heightened.
This is a contagious disease that may be caused when you breathe the same infected air as another patient with the same disease. It can also follow viral diseases like chickenpox and measles.
 If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a pulmonologist.

Common Causes and Symptoms of Pneumonia

Easy home remedies for sore throat

An itchy, scratchy and burning throat is something we all experience, at least once a year, if not more. Depending on your body's immunity, it occurs more often. While there is good medication to cure the problem, there also exist home remedies which can cure it. Keep a note of these things also to prevent a bad throat.

Fix sore throat with:

1. Salt water gargle - this might not be new to you as it is the first remedy elders in the family advice about - to gargle with salt water. The warm water with salt in it relieves the discomfort in the swollen tissues and pulls the mucous out.

2. Over-the-counter throat lozenges: these are extremely convenient and dependable. On days when the throat won't stop itching and you have a lot of speaking to do, these lozenges help calm the itching. They contain menthol which makes the throat tissues numb. Cough drops and candies ensure constant production of saliva in the mouth. These have choking hazards though, so avoid giving to children.

3. Ginger, clove, tulsi - chewing on pieces of ginger is beneficial. Ginger juice soothes the throat and calms the itching. Especially helpful during the nights, so that one can sleep peacefully. Cloves and tulsi leaves when chewed individually also give similar soothing effects to a sore throat.

4. Drink loads of water - it is important to stay hydrated because dehydration leads to decrease in production of mucous and saliva in the mouth. More fluids in the mouth help deal with sore throat better.

5. Warmth of honey - warm tea with honey is an ideal way to soothe the irritated throat. Honey is said to be effective in suppressing coughs. 

6. Avoiding cold drinks - whatever you drink, make sure it is warm or even better, hot. Avoid drinking or eating anything cold as they will only aggravate the condition of the throat.

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Peace with Sore Throat - How Many of These Remedies Do You Already Know?

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