Do you know why some people accomplish more and generally are much happier in their lives?
 
The field of Positive Psychology explains this. Research says, one of the signature strengths that such people have is "Gratitude. Gratitude makes them take better care of themselves physically and mentally. It also makes people engage in more proactive and healthy way. It promotes the motivation for exercise, healthy diet and willingness to wriggle out of any negative situations in life. It helps boost your immune system.  Since it makes you more optimistic and alert, you cope better with stress and feel healthier.

How to Have An Attitude of Gratitude?

1) Be Mindful of What You Have - Being thankful for very small things actually bring a great amount of joy. Have gratitude for small things like sunlight, rain, flowers, a cup of tea, a caring spouse, a child's laughter. It gives us the resilience to cope with tougher situations.

2) Keep a Gratitude Journal - Every night before going to bed, write down "What was the best thing that happened to you that day.  It fosters better sleep and a sense of well being and satisfaction.

3) Reframe Challenging Situations - It's not the situation but our perception of the situation that makes it challenging. You can reframe your reactions and respond by saying that "I may have a very demanding boss, but I have become more organized, patient. It will help you to attend to your work and be cheerful.

4) Practice saying Thank You - It's very simple. When you buy a bus ticket, just smile and say 'Thank You. Feel the first raindrops on your face and smile in gratitude for all the life it brings.

5) Focus your attention outwards - According to Emmons, a US psychology professor, people who are more aware of the positives in their lives tend to focus their attention outside of themselves. They feel complete, satisfied and fulfilled in their lives and are capable of helping the less fortunate ones.

If you have any questions, please click on "Consult Privately.

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5 Reasons Why Some People Accomplish More And Are Much Happier

 I have a severe stomach ache, I feel like vomiting ... Mom, please!! I can't go for exam.
 I read it! I knew it all ... But I just blacked out.  
 I just couldn't write! My hands were trembling.  
 I messed up this question! I can do nothing right... I can never succeed in life!!  

It's not uncommon for students to experience such problems before/ during an exam.

Most of us suffer from some degree of anxiety when we prepare or sit for an examination. Examination usually leads to a lot of tension and anxiety commonly known as examination phobia. Examination phobia or Examophobia is a mental disorder found in most of the students. When exams arrive, students become extremely worried and make plans about how to study, how to perform better and get good grades. Some students find exams so difficult that the phobia makes them sick as they simply find themselves unable to cope up with the exam fear. There may be sweating, palpitations that disturb so much that one cannot think straight and end up messing up the paper. Also, in subsequent exams, it becomes worse and the fear intensifies. The person may end up feeling a failure, feeling guilty and may even be suicidal! 

Anxiety is a normal human feeling that is part of life and can often serve as a good form of adrenaline. However, in few people, this adrenaline rush exceeds normal limits and at times may lead to some negative consequences.

Exam anxiety is:

1. Excessive worry about upcoming exams 
2. Fear of being evaluated 
3. Apprehension about the consequence 
4. Experienced by many normal students

POSSIBLE CAUSES 
(I) Environmental Causes

1. High expectations of parents 
2. Parents imposing their ambitions on children 
3. Parents competing for higher social status through child's scores 
4. Constant comparison with other kids 
5. Fear of teachers 
6. Insulting remarks from teachers

(II) Poor studying styles: 
1. Inefficient:

1. Irregular coverage of the entire syllabus 
2. Trying to memorize the course book 
3. Binge learning 
4. Studying all-night right before exams

2. Ineffective:

1. Reading without understanding the topic 
2. Unable to recollect the material 
3. Not making revision notes 
4. Not revising

(III) Psychological factors:

1. Feeling little or no control over the exam situation (rather than knowing and applying exam strategies) 
2. Negative thinking and self-criticism 
3. Irrational thinking about exams and outcomes 
4. Irrational beliefs  If I don't pass, my (family/boyfriend/girlfriend/friends) will lose respect for me  
5. Irrational demands  I have to get at least 98% or I am worthless.  
6. Catastrophic predictions  I'll fail no matter what I do there s no point.  
7. Low Self-esteem 
8. Fear of failure

SYMPTOMS OF EXAM ANXIETY 
The symptoms can range from minor nervousness to a panic attack, which can ruin the test. But whatever the level of your anxiety, learning to keep yourself calm and managing the fear of sitting for an examination is what it takes to come out with flying colors.

1. Physical symptoms. Headache, nausea, diarrhea, excessive sweating, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, lightheadedness and feeling faint can all occur. Test anxiety can lead to a panic attack, which is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort in which individuals may feel like they are unable to breathe or having a heart attack. 
2. Emotional symptoms. Feelings of anger, fear, helplessness and disappointment are common emotional responses to test anxiety. 
3. Behavioral/Cognitive symptoms. Difficulty concentrating, thinking negatively and comparing yourself to others are common symptoms of test anxiety.

HOW TO PREPARE WELL FOR AN EXAMINATION 
Fortunately, there are several methods that you can adopt to reduce your examination stress, which will not only help you to get higher grades but also improve your overall mental health.

1. Regular Studies Develop good study habits- ATTEND classes regularly, finish all the assignments on time, make notes properly and be an actively engaging student in school. Leave plenty of time to revise so that you don't have to do last minute cramming. Giving yourself adequate time will help to boost your confidence and reduce any pre-exam stress as you know you have prepared well. Instead of waiting for the eleventh hour, start studying as and when the academic year commences. With a good amount of time before hand, you will certainly feel more relaxed as you have plenty of time to give-in your best. 
2. Exercise Matters - It is of paramount importance to maintain mental, psychological and physical health to ace any exam. Exercising regularly, deep breathing and  pranayama  help in improving one s cognitive faculties, that results in lesser anxiety and simultaneously better grades in the tests. 
3. Don t Undermine the Importance of Diet - Be careful about your diet during the exams. A diet lacking in essential nutrients can put a major dent in your preparations; make you feel nauseated, SLEEPY OR overstressed during the crucial hours. 
4. SLEEP WELL - Adequate sleep is also vital. SLEEPING TOO LESS OR TOO MUCH CAN ALSO HAMPER YOUR ABILITIES 
5. Support - Take short breaks in between and spend some quality time with your family; share your feelings and state of mind with them. Spending time with the family can turn out to be a major stress buster. 
6. Set a Study Time: Lastly, drawing up a schedule will help you make the most of your study time. Set aside a time for your studies and follow it meticulously. Keep it flexible so that you can make the necessary adjustments. 
7. Stay focused: Concentrate on your studies, not others during the examination time. Avoid talking with other students about the subject before an examination. 
8. Use Mnemonics: Mnemonics are the techniques of memorization. You can make chart, rhymes or phrase to memorize your lessons. 
9. Practice Deep Breathing Regularly - Meditation is one of the best medicine that can reduce your anxiety. Make a habit to Meditate at least 10 minutes per day. It surely increases your concentration power. 
10. Consult Psychologist: If your anxiety becomes uncontrollable, don t hesitate to consult a psychologist or therapist. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is pretty effective in treating anxiety disorders. It helps to change your thought process and negative beliefs. Performance or test anxiety is highly treatable so you can get absolutely get a better result.

HOW TO ATTEMPT THE EXAMINATION IN BEST POSSIBLE WAY 
(I) ON THE DAY OF EXAM

1. Get a restful, uninterrupted sleep the night before so you wake up refreshed and revitalized the day of the exam. 
2. Have a healthy breakfast but strictly avoid oily and heavy food 
3. Recheck your required stuff (pen, pencil, compass box, eraser, admit card, watch etc) before leaving home. 
4. Take the water bottle along with you to the examination hall. 
5. Avoid touching new/left-out topic at the last moment. 
6. Aim to reach the examination hall well in time. 
7. Avoid being part of Before-exam peer discussions on How well-prepared or unprepared others are! The classic  Tera kitna ho gaya  question followed by undue comparisons can be a complete confidence killer. So Beware !! 
8. If feeling tensed, take deep-long breaths and engage in positive self-talk; reminding yourself that you prepared best to your ability and tell oneself   I CAN DO IT  

(II) IN THE EXAMINATION HALL

First of all, fill the required information on the answer sheet. 
Read the instructions carefully to figure out if you have a choice of questions, no. of questions to be attempted etc. 
Read the question paper thoroughly before u begin writing and mark the questions under 3 categories: (a) Easy (b) Manageable (c) Difficult 
Manage your time: This is where you strictly need to stick to the plan:
Before you begin, allocate time for each question based on the marks it carries and difficulty level. 
If you are not able to complete an answer within planned time-frame, leave some space and move onto the next question. 
Always divide time in such a way that you are left with some time at the end to go back over incomplete answers and revise/recheck. 
Always try to attempt all the questions. 
Attempt the Easy questions first, followed by Manageable and Difficult questions at last. That way you stay secure, calm and confident. 
Avoid writing too lengthy answer just because you know it well.
5. Presentation:

a. Handwriting should be neat & readable. 
b. Instead of very long paragraphs, put your answer point-wise. 
c. Wherever possible, illustrate the information via Flowcharts/diagrams etc. 
d. Highlight: underline or highlight the main points using pencil / coloured markers but you should keep it for last spare moments.

(III) TIPS FOR PARENTS: 
Encourage your kids! Parents have the ability to address underlying fears that may be present with test-taking. At a deep level, even subconsciously, a student may fear failure for a variety of reasons. There could be a fear of looking dumb to friends, of not getting into the best school, or of not meeting parent s expectations. A great help is for parents to reinforce their unconditional support and encouragement to the child. Parents, let your children know that their grade does not determine their worth. Believe in your child. 

Help them get over the myth that  Success in exam is a predictor of success in life . 

Good marks = Great job. 
Poor marks = End of life!!

In short,  There are no secrets to success. It is the result of Time Management, Hard work and Learning from mistakes 

Say Goodbye To Exam Phobia!

If someone in your family or your partner is suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, your mental health is at stake too. You will have to take care of yourself and your emotional needs first. Life can be frustrating for you all the time. But, you need to identify your  feel good  activities and take some time out of your daily life to relax and calm down. Remember, you can succeed in the critical task of appeasing or pleasing your dear one with BPD, only when you are at peace with yourself first. Destress yourself to fight back the depression or emotional drainage caused by handling a BPD patient.

Here are few things that can help you have a better life while being in a relationship with a person suffering from BPD:

1. Don t isolate yourself: You must be in touch with people you like to be with. You need emotional support from friends and family to deal with life. Spending some quality time with friends and family members can add little happiness to your life. It will boost up your energy level to fight back the dark side of life. You must remember that you have a life as well.

2. Take care of your health: Sometimes, relatives of BPD patients forget to take care of their physical health. They forget basic stuffs like having proper meals, exercising, etc just because they are caught-up in a stressful relationship. But, remember you can help your loved one better only when you are physically fit.

3. Manage stress: Don t get anxious or depressed with the ongoing stress in your life. It will only add to your existing problems. Keep your nerves cool to have a better life for yourself as well as your sweetheart with BPD.

4. Believe in the 3c s formula: Well, it is a formula recommended by most of the mental health practitioners. Don t blame yourself for the irrational behaviour of your friend or dear one. The patient with BPD is solely responsible for his or her destructive behaviour or abnormal outburst. You will have to remember these 3c s: I didn't cause it; I can't cure it; and I can't control it.

5. Careful communication: You have to be very careful while communicating with BPD patients. Don t argue or try to convince them, when they are already in a disturbed frame of mind or agitated. They might end up getting destructive. Listen to their words carefully and patiently. Occasional nodding in between a conversation is advisable to let them feel assured about the fact that they are being heard and understood.

Don t forget to acknowledge their feelings. It is also important that you stay calm when the patient is angry and has turned destructive.

How to Deal with a Person Suffering from Borderline Personality?

Smoking   Some Naked Facts!

Smoking kills > 420,000 people per year worldwide.
In India one million people die of smoking related diseases each year.
Tobacco use is the second leading cause of death world-over.
Smoking is more lethal than AIDS, Accidents, Homicides, Suicides, Fire, etc.
2700 substances have been identified in Cigarette smoke, most of them harmful including cyanide, benzene, formaldehyde, methanol, acetylene, ammonia, nitrogen oxide, carbon monoxide, etc.
Every cigarette takes 5.5 minutes of your life.
Smoking one packet a day for 10 years increases risk for Ischemic Heart Diseases by 300 % & risk for lung cancer by 500 %.
Passive smoking (breathing second hand smoke) is also harmful. Spending 2 hours in a smoky bar is equivalent to smoking 4 cigarettes. Living with a pack-a-day smoker is like smoking 3 cigarettes by yourself.

What are the Risks? 

Cancer: 85% of Lung Cancers and 28% of all cancer deaths are attributed to smoking. Smokers have higher rates of leukemia, kidney, stomach, bladder, and pancreas cancers. About 30% of cervical cancers have been attributed to both active and passive smoking.

Lungs: Smokers are generally at higher risk for nearly all major lung diseases like pneumonia, flu, COPD, bronchitis, emphysema, asthma, etc.

Brain: Smokers run almost two and a half times the risk of stroke as non-smokers and the risk for dementia is also higher in smokers.

Male Sexuality and Reproduction: Smoking decreases the amount of blood flowing into the penis, reduces sperm density, reduces sperm motility, and may lead to impotence & infertility

Female infertility, Pregnancy: Smoking increases the risk of female infertility, ectopic pregnancy, miscarriages, stillbirth, prematurity and low-birth weight, so also there is a risk of passing genetic mutations that increase cancer risks to unborn babies.

Children: Mothers exposed to smoke (active or passive) are more likely to have children with motor control problems, perception impairments, and attention disabilities. Exposure to smoke early on affect the lungs of infant as early as the first 2 to 10 weeks of life, it increases the risk for lower respiratory infections (asthma, bronchitis, and pneumonia) by 50% and worsens the condition of children who have existing asthma.
 
Spine & Bones: Smokers whose jobs involve lifting heavy objects are more likely to develop low back pain than non-smokers. They are at increased risk for developing osteoporosis and rheumatoid arthritis. Smokers are more prone to develop degenerative disorders and injuries in the spine, they have more trouble recovering from spinal surgery as smoking also impairs formation of new bone.

Why Quit?


Physical Benefits: They start as early as in few minutes.

Blood pressure and Pulse rate return to Normal in 20 minutes.
Levels of carbon monoxide and oxygen in the blood return to normal in 8 hours and chance of heart attack decreases in 24 hours.
Nerve endings start to regrow; ability to taste and smell increases within 48 hours.
Bronchial tubes relax; lung capacity increases by 72 hours.
In 2 to 12 weeks  time circulation improves and lung functions improve up to 30%.
In 1 to 9 months  time there is a decreased incidence of coughing, sinus infection, fatigue, and shortness of breath; cilia in lungs start re-growing, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce chance of infection.
Overall energy level increases.

Smoking - Facts, Risks & Why To Quit!

Why does PAIN occur? Understand the Mechanism of Pain

Pain is an unpleasant and distressing physical sensation caused by disease or injury, which induces hurt and anxiety in those suffering from it.
There are many different manifestations of pain, ranging from short term (acute pain) to long term (chronic pain). Other classifications include pain in the internal organs (visceral pain), injured tissue (inflammatory pain), nerves (neuropathic pain), etc.

The reason for the occurrence of pain depends on the cause and kind of pain being experienced. In most cases, pain acts as a warning sign that the body has been afflicted by a disorder of some sort, which may have arisen due to internal sickness or external wounding. Acute pains are generally cured on their own through rest or simple medication. Chronic pains, on the other hand, are more complicated in nature and the treatment requires more elaborate diagnosis.

The mechanism of pain

Pain is an extremely personal and subjective experience and affects each individual to varying degrees. The pain signals, which can arise in any part of the body, travel through the spinal cord to the brain along thousands of specialized nerves and nerve fibres. In the brain, it is processed in the centres associated with anxiety, emotions, memory, appetite, etc. Signals and pain inputs are then returned from the brain to the spinal cord, which may heighten or diminish pain.

In some cases, pain may also be induced by damage to the brain and spinal cord, which happens after a stroke.
A constant barrage of pain signals may cause the cells at the end of nerve fibres to become over-sensitized. This is known as 'wind-up' and is one of the most common causes of chronic pain that occurs even though the root of the problem has been identified and treated.

The causes and effects of pain differ from case to case depending on the signals received by the brain and its interpretation. It affects the individual's day to day activities and if persistent, can also have a harmful impact on mental health and psychosis. Pain is always handled, diagnosed and treated differently in all patients by drawing out the best possible solution to the problem.





Why does PAIN occur? Understand the Mechanism of Pain

If you suffer from chronic pain of any kind, it is important for you to know that it is associated and linked with your emotions. Other than your physical activities and personal relationships getting hampered, unwanted feelings like resentment, stress and frustration are also common. These emotions and feelings are capable of making your chronic pain condition more worse. 

The Relationship between your mind and body: Your mind and body work together and cannot be separated. Your mind controls all your thoughts and also affects the way in which pain is controlled or perceived by the body. Pain and the fear of pain may lead you to avoid activities. This may reduce your physical strength and cause disruption in the functioning of your body.

Stress: Stress affects your body both physically and emotionally. It may lead to an increase in your blood pressure, breathing rate, heart rate and muscle tension may also occur. These may lead to fatigue, appetite changes and sleep disruption. Stress also causes depression, anxiety, make you dependent on drugs and make you dependent on other people.

Depression: Depression is common among chronic pain patients. Chronic pain can make cases of existing depression much more worse and the existing pain is also worsened. There are chances of developing depression from chronic pain if depression runs in your family or genes. 

Symptoms of Depression are as follows:

Feeling sad, angry, worthless and hopeless frequently
Lack of energy
Lack of interest in regular activities
Difficulty in sleeping
An increase or decrease in appetite, which may lead to major weight gain or weight loss
Difficulty with concentration
Having suicidal thoughts and thoughts about dying or harming oneself
How to Handle your Emotions during Chronic Pain: A common therapy, which people with chronic pain undertake is called Cognitive Behavioural therapy. You should seek the help of a therapist. In this therapy, you will learn about thinking in a positive way instead of drowning in negative thoughts. Your fear of pain will be reduced and you will learn how to strengthen important relationships. You will be able to develop a sense of freedom from chronic pain. 

If your chronic pain occurs due to an accident or emotional trauma, you may be assessed for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) by your healthcare provider. Many patients suffering from PTSD cannot deal with their pain until the emotional stress is dealt with. If you feel depressed and cannot control your emotions, you need to consult a doctor.

Chronic Pain - Is it Linked to Our Emotions?

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