Marriage or any healthy relationship, is a bonding and not a binding. Finding the right person and living happily ever after is only true in fairy tales. In reality, once you find the right partner, maintaining and nurturing the relationship bond itself takes a lifetime and living happily solely depends on how you cultivate relationship with your partner.

Communication is one of the chief ingredients besides trust, understanding, love, care, companionship and empathy in a happy and successful marriage. And, failure to communicate is one of the foremost reasons for the failure of relationships. Do you say I love you and appreciate your partner or do you just criticise and complain about him/her all day long? Do you consider his/her ideas and feelings or always turn them down? To communicate effectively is to express yourself freely to your partner, convey your likes and dislikes, convey what turns you on and what doesn't! Unless and until you are vocal about your thoughts and feelings, how do you expect your partner to understand you? You feel frustrated and upset because things don't happen your way but have you tried to 'express' your way to your partner?

Lack of communication in relationships results in frustration, misunderstandings, unrealistic expectations, guilt and can create personal differences. It is difficult for people who share their lives with each other to coexist for long without having regular and smooth communication for oiling the machinery of the relationship.

Couples who communicate effectively are not always devoid of arguments. Arguments happen because there is a difference of opinion between the partners; which is a very normal thing. Arguments usually end in nasty and bitter manner. However, it is up to us to convert that unhealthy argument into a healthy one! Most of us indulge in these arguments to win; not to resolve the matter! What is important is the 'progress' in the matter at hand, not the victory.

Remember, not to engage in any serious discussion or disclosure when angry as you tend to lose balance and rational reasoning. The same holds true in a situation where your partner is not up to it. Receptivity is of utmost importance. A 'No' from a partner does not mean not now, not ever. It simply means I don't want to do that right now! Feeling free to say no if the request is unappealing at that point in time.

Communication cues that can help improve the quality of argument:

Remember, there is no blaming game! WHAT is Right is more important than WHO is right.
Use I statements instead of You always statements. Example I feel angry vs. You always humiliate me. When you use I statements, you're taking the onus on you.
Attack the issue; not each other!
Refrain from the 4 C's : Caustic (sarcasm), Compare, Condemn and Criticize.
Avoid mind-reading your partner and assuming things; instead express yourself verbally.
Using 'I feel' statements are better over You are ones. When you say I feel, you're taking the onus for your feelings and thoughts and avoiding direct blame on your partner.
Have an open mind. Minds are like parachutes; they work best when open. Be proactive and open to changes, alternatives and work effectively for resolving a conflict.
Stay away from Stereotyping (generalizing - all men are like that...) 'Gunnysacking; (nursing past grievances and bringing them up for review while trying to resolve a present conflict).
No engaging in 'Summarizing self-syndrome' where both partners continue to restate his/her stance and issues without actually listening to other and without understanding other's perspective, feeling frustrated.
Cut back on 'Catastrophizing' i.e. dwelling on the worst possible outcomes of a problem or risk that you face, to the point that even remote, unlikely disasters preoccupy your attention. Often, objectivity becomes clouded, and you may gradually begin to feel or act as though these unlikely events are really going to happen.
Get rid of 'Stereotyping'; (generalizing - all men are like..) and 'Gunnysacking' (cropping up issues from the past having no relevance to current problem).
Don't send double messages- statements which have two conflicting meanings. Keep it as simple and assertive as possible.
A mind is like a parachute, it doesn't work unless it is open. So have a broad perspective, try to understand your partner's perspective and try and arrive at a mutually agreeable decision that caters to well-being as a whole. Matrimony is the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. What counts in making a happy marriage is not how much compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Marriage was, is and never will be perfect, Yet it is the happiest wrong we are doing on earth!

Are You Happily (n)Ever After?

If you are a heavy drinker and consume excess alcohol, you may face severe consequences related to short-term and long-term health. Alcohol has several negative impacts and affects on your heart. Although occasional drinking does not cause much harm, excess drinking may lead to many heart complications. There are chances of the development of cardiovascular diseases in an alcoholic person.
Alcohol affects the heart in several ways. Binge drinkers are more prone to face these complications. A person who drinks alcohol regularly, drinks very fast and drinks much more than the recommended consumption limit during a single session is called a binge drinker.

Here the ways in which alcohol affects your heart:

Alcohol weakens the heart muscles: Heavy drinking for a long span of time tends to weaken the heart muscles. A condition known alcoholic cardiomyopathy may be caused. When the heart gets weakened, proper contraction gets disrupted and the heart is unable to pump sufficient amount of blood. Due to this, a person may experience certain symptoms such as tiredness, irregular heart rhythm, shortness of breath and swelling of the feet and legs. This can also lead to a heart failure.
Alcohol affects your heart beat rate: Binge drinking and regular drinking over a long period of time may affect the rate of the heart beat or how quickly the heart beats. Alcohol may cause the heart to beat too fast, and irregular beating is observed. This is a condition known as arrhythmias, which may have grave consequences on your health. If you are not a regular drinker but drink too much in a day, you could face this condition.
Alcohol can lead to high blood pressure and also cause a stroke: Binge drinking leads to increased blood pressure, also known as hypertension. The blood vessels become stiff, and this causes the pressure to rise in the arteries and veins. Heavy consumption of alcohol may also trigger several stress hormones to be released, which cause a constriction in the blood vessels. This leads to increased blood pressure. Hypertension may lead to a heart attack or stroke.
In order to reduce the negative impacts of alcohol on your heart and overall health, you must practice drinking in moderation. You must not drink more than fourteen units of alcohol in a single week. Consume these fourteen units in three to four parts instead of consuming it all at once. You should give gaps and avoid regular drinking.

Alcohol - How It Affects Your Health?

Do you have a family member or a close friend who is suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder? Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a disorder, which causes anxiety, and is also known as anxiety disorder. The disorder is featured by continuous, uncontrollable and unpleasant thoughts. OCD causes a patient s mind to get stuck on a certain inclination. Obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior patterns indicate OCD.
Dealing with an OCD patient

After the initial diagnosis, a patient with OCD enters the stage of acute treatment. The treatment aims at coping with and overcoming the symptoms of OCD.

Education: Patients with OCD should get to know as much as possible about the disorder they are suffering from. You should help an OCD affected patient by providing them the opportunity to read about the disease, and talk to other patients, along with regular appointments with a clinician. A treatment plan has to be developed. OCD patients in an acute treatment stage should be taken to a doctor every week, in order to discuss their progress.
Therapy: Therapy helps them cope with the symptoms of OCD. Cognitive behavioral psychotherapy is undertaken for treating patients with OCD. This mode of treatment gives the patients psychological tools, which help them resist the ill effects of the condition.
Medication: Medicines are not required for all OCD patients. Some patients diagnosed with the condition are prescribed selective serotonin re uptake inhibitor or SSIs for dealing with the symptoms of OCD. The medicines should be taken for a period of three to four weeks before any results are experienced. 12 weeks are required for a patient to know whether the medicines are working or not. An SRI is ineffective in some cases, and you may be prescribed a non-selective serotonin re uptake inhibitor like Clomipramine. This affects the serotonin, but has positive impacts on other neurotransmitters in your brain.
Family support: Family members play an important part in helping OCD patients manage their condition by providing constant support, staying calm, and being educated about the condition. OCD patients should be treated with affection and should be complimented often. The observations of the patient by family members help a doctor in determining the patient s condition. As a family member or close friend, you must never be critical about the patient or state negative comments about his condition. Such feedback causes the patient s condition to worsen. Family members should discuss all problems they face regarding the patient to a doctor.
Patients who have completed OCD treatment require monthly check ups with a doctor for six months. A year of cognitive therapy is required to be carried out, along with the intake of prescribed medicines.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - How To Handle It?

Autism Spectrum Disorder or ASD is a condition associated with brain development. ASD affects the way an individual perceives others and socializes with a group of people. This disorder shows up in early childhood; it includes repetitive and limited behaviour patterns and thus, makes it difficult for the affected child to interact or communicate with others.

The word  spectrum  in ASD refers to a range of signs related to the condition. Some children develop the symptoms of the disorder right from infancy, while others exhibit the same within 12-36 months of birth.

Signs to Watch Out for-

Early signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder in toddlers include-

  Reduced eye contact
  Lack of response (to their name)
  Difficulty learning things
  Trouble communicating
  Speaking in an abnormal tone
  Repeating words, not knowing where to place them in a sentence
  Inability to express feelings/emotions
  Inappropriate approach to social interaction   being aggressive, destructive, or passive
  Difficulty recognizing non-verbal cues
  Lack of coordination
  Oversensitive to touch, sound, or light
  Repetitive movements - spinning, rocking, hand flapping

Every child with ASD has a unique behaviour pattern.

If you notice the above traits in your child and are concerned about his/her development, then you should visit a doctor right away. A specialist can recommend an appropriate line of treatment to manage the symptoms and help your child thrive despite being autistic.

Autism and Nutrition   Is There Really a Link?

Caring for an autistic child can be challenging on many levels, and healthful eating is no exception. A child living with Autism Spectrum Disorder may not be getting enough nutrients, primarily because they are not patient enough to sit through their meals.

If your child has ASD, you should definitely reach out to a paediatrician. He/she will most likely prescribe a  special diet  to provide your child with the essential nutrients.

  Switch to a casein-free, gluten-free diet. Exclude foods such as   fishes, eggs, seafood, soy products, nuts etc. Children with ASD have an abnormally leaky gut, and these food items often cause inflammation in the gut. This further deteriorates the symptoms.
  The doctor may recommend a low-fat, high-protein ketogenic diet   cottage cheese, avocados, poultry meat, coconut oil etc.
  Serve your child a good portion of vitamin-rich foods   cereals, fruit juice, oatmeal etc. However, make sure that you are aware of any allergic reaction your child may have before incorporating these in their diet.

Health experts state that for children living with this condition, a balanced, nutritious diet can make all the difference in the world   it can improve their learning ability, help them to express themselves more and process information better.

Early Signs Of ASD In Toddlers!

Ending one s life is terrible. But often, instead of analysing the patient s mental condition at that time, we tend to judge them. The most common cause for suicides is undoubtedly depression. Adverse social or financial conditions often contribute to the mental condition of patients. However, a recent paper published in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology might change the way we think about suicides. Lena Brundin and her co-workers have come to the conclusion in the paper titled  Role of inflammation in suicide: from mechanism to treatment,  that our immune system can trigger off suicidal thoughts and tendencies. Let us find out how.

There is proof that certain medicines that are used to treat cancer patients can affect the immune responses. This in turn can trigger off suicidal tendencies.
Certain injuries can lead to brain disorders which are related to inflammatory responses that might be responsible for some changes in behaviour often leading to suicidal thoughts.
Just like certain medications trigger of suicidal thoughts, there are some that might diminish them like Lithium. It is used to treat bi-polar disorder. What it does is decrease immune related chemicals. Another drug has proved to be very effective in reducing suicidal thoughts and tendencies   Ketamine. Ketamine, like Lithium, has been found to block certain chemicals that are related to immune response.
Though the whole topic is still under extensive research, it can perhaps be concluded that certain drugs have the ability to lessen suicidal thoughts and depression because they block some chemicals that are related to immunity.
The suicidal mentality is very complex. It requires not just medicines, but counselling, empathy, love and understanding. Often, many patients cannot come out of their depression, resulting in therapy sessions that are fruitless. In those cases, medicines that might reduce the negative thoughts and moods will come handy. It will help the patient initially to deal with the situation and start with a lot of positivity. Every year, almost one million deaths occur due to suicide. Not only does it leave behind survivors who attempt to kill themselves but also broken families that struggle to get over the death. If this research is successful, several people will benefit from it, all over the world.

Suicidal Tendencies - Can Your Immune System Influence it?

Top tips to help you fight anxiety

Anxiety is the latest problem affecting a majority of the population, owing to our hectic and fast-paced lifestyles. All of us are so busy in our lives that we forget to provide our mind and body with the basic care that they need in order to function effectively. Here are five useful tips to help you overcome anxiety, on a daily basis.

1. Maintain the right diet
Though it may sound like a cliche, maintaining a healthy diet on a regular basis is the key to beating anxiety. Try and consume food products rich in Vitamin b which is known to improve mental health; and Omega-3s which can effectively counter severe anxiety and depression.

2. Get adequate sleep
Not getting enough sleep not only affects your mind but has an adverse effect on your body as well. Even anxiety can result in irregular sleep patterns and thus ensure that in any situation, you manage to get six to seven hours of sleep on a daily basis.

3. Engage with people
Man is indeed a social animal. People make us happy. The hormone oxytocin significantly reduces anxiety levels and it is released during the process of socializing; thus it is essential to be in contact with your close group of people.

4. Keep your immediate environment clean
A cluttered home or workplace not only adds to physical clutter but contributes towards building up mental clutter as well. Spend a few minutes every day in keeping your immediate environment clean and organized. You are bound to feel calmer and more relaxed.

5. Indulge in breathing exercises
When your brain is tensed, your breathing pattern automatically becomes short and shallow. In order to send relaxing signals to your brain, try taking deep and long breaths and continue the process for a few minutes.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on consult.

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5 Most Effective Ways To Drive Anxiety Out Of Your Life

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