
7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

If you are a heavy drinker and you are having problems with your sex life, they are likely to be caused because of your alcohol consumption. Sex and alcohol are not considered to be a good mixture. Although a small amount of alcohol is harmless, moderate to heavy drinking can hamper your sex life in several ways. Moreover, alcohol is very dangerous for pregnant women.

Alcohol can lead to sexual problems and issues in both men and women. It can also make them behave in a different and unusual manner, which may lead them into having sex with people who are unsuitable. It makes people take unnecessary risks and many get infected with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Unwanted pregnancy after having sex is a common aspect in today s world. Alcohol also makes people likely to be victims of sexual attacks.

The bad effects of alcohol on your sex life
There are several bad effects of alcohol which take a toll on your sexual life. They are as follows:

Alcohol may make people more likely to engross in sexual activity with the wrong person. Getting pregnant, catching infections and embarking in affairs which lead to the breakup of many marriages are common effects of alcohol. Alcohol is a primary reason for the demand of the emergency contraceptive or morning after pill, all over the world.
Alcohol fuddles up people's brain and many of them forget to take proper contraceptive precautions before having sex.
Alcohol is very harmful for unborn babies in pregnant women. It may cause brain damage to the baby. You should consume alcohol as less as possible during pregnancy and totally avoid it during the first three months of pregnancy.
Alcohol accounts for being a major cause of erectile dysfunction or impotence in men. Alcohol may increase your sexual desire, but it reduces your performance.
Men who are heavy drinkers may develop a permanent case of brewer s droop. Loss of sexual interest is also likely.
Excessive alcohol may lead to diminished or reduced libido in women as well. It is yet to be proven whether alcohol causes any other sexual complications in women.
If you are facing problems with excessive alcohol consumption and it is affecting your sex life, you need to take some steps. It is recommended to consult an alcohol counsellor or join the Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) group.

Alcohol - 6 Reasons It Is Bad For Your Sex Life!

When is your pain chronic?

Your pain is chronic if it last for more than a period of six months. Chronic pain is a long-term pain whose nature can vary from mild to excruciating, and it may trouble you either continuously or at short and regular intervals. Chronic pain is so dangerous that it does not only cause discomfort and inconvenience but also robs you entirely of your capacity to work for a long time.

Chronic pain can occur in a number of organs of the human body like head, joints, back, shoulders, neck etc. In fact, pain in any part of your body can turn into chronic pain. Here are a few symptoms that can help you identify if what you are going through is, in fact, chronic pain:

- persistent and severe body pain

- burning sensation accompanied by the body pain

- fatigue and sleeplessness

- weak immune system

- stiff and sore joints

The 4 types of chronic pain disorders that you should be aware of are:

1. Nociceptive pain

The pain that affects the soft tissues of the body such as the skin and the muscles or the organs that have sensory nerves present in them is called nociceptive pain. The sensory nerves, known as nociceptors can detect the stimuli of pain and send information to the brain and the spinal cord for interpretation. The pain could be either somatic (originating in the outer body) or visceral (originating in the internal organs).

2. Neuropathic pain

This pain is caused when the nerves stop functioning normally. It is caused due to nerve disturbances that result in pain stimuli being spontaneously transmitted to the brain and spinal cord. If you are suffering from this type of chronic pain disorder, you will feel a sharp, shooting and stabbing pain. Neuropathic pain can also be caused due to the formation of neuroma (abnormal growth of the nerve tissue).

3. Psychogenic pain

The pain that is caused by psychological disorders like depression and anxiety is known as psychogenic pain. Sometimes this pain can be accompanied by physical complications like fatigue, body pain and muscle weakness.

4. Idiopathic pain

The pain that exists even though there is no physical or psychological cause for it is known as idiopathic pain. This pain is more common in people who have suffered from a pre-existing painful disorder. Some common examples of idiopathic pain are fibromyalgia (intense pain all over the body) and tmj disorders (pain in the jaw area).

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: Why does PAIN occur? Understand the Mechanism of Pain

Your Pain is Chronic if it Falls Under These 4 Types of Chronic Pain Disorders!

The feeling of instability is the crux of borderline personality disorder. This condition usually begins in early adulthood and is worst at its onset. As a person ages, borderline personality disorder usually improves and becomes easier to handle. For a person with borderline personality disorder, everything from their relationships to their moods, thinking and behaviour is unstable and constantly changing. This can be frightening but thankfully, this condition can be treated.

As with any other personality disorder or health issue, the earlier a condition is diagnosed, the easier it is to treat. Hence, it is important to understand the signs and symptoms of this disorder. This disease manifests itself in different ways in each person but some symptoms are commonly experienced. These include:

Fear of abandonment: No one likes to be alone, but people suffering from borderline personality disorder are terrified of being abandoned. Even something as simple as being stood up at a meeting, can make such a person extremely anxious. It can also lead to relationship problems by making the person seem clingy and jealous about their partner.
Unstable relationships: For a person suffering from this disorder, relationships are either perfect or failures. Hence their relationships are extremely passionate but very short lived and they often feel disappointed by their partners.
Unstable self-image: People suffering from this disorder may feel very confident one day and feel the opposite on the next. Though everyone has shifting views of their identity form time to time, for people suffering from this personality disorder, theses shifts are extreme. It can often lead to frequent changes in jobs, friend circles, relationships, goals and values. It can also cause changes in their understanding of sexual orientation.
Impulsive behaviour: People who display self-destructing and attention seeking behaviour may suffer from this condition. This disorder has been often associated with alcoholism, drug abuse and recklessness.
Suicidal behavior: People suffering from this disorder may often be associated with behaviour that physically harms them. They are also capable of following through on suicidal threats.
Mood swings: Extreme fluctuations in emotions and moods are a common experience or people suffering from borderline personality disorder. These mood swings usually start only a few minutes of a few hours unlike depression and other anxiety disorders.
Suspicion about everyone around: Borderline personality disorder can make a person struggle with suspicious thoughts about everyone around them and make them paranoid. They often feel out of touch with reality and can feel spaced out when under stress.

Borderline Personality Disorder - Signs and Symptoms!

Anger is an ordinary and is an expressed reaction to an attack, perceived danger or fear. It has been very useful in our struggle for survival. The brain distinguishes the danger and the body is provoked and energized to respond with battle or fight. Once in a while, obviously, it gets out of hand. A few people, unmistakably, see dangers where there are none or where the risk is negligible. Their bodies get provoked improperly. They could use some assistance in understanding the signs that trigger their reactions and discover approaches to improve control.

Health problems: There are some individuals who encounter so much anger that they cannot control their drive to strike out at other people. This is isolated and separated from the issue of alcohol and medication misuse. It is imperative to recall that in case that you are a person who effectively gets angry and has outbursts, you can hurt your health.

Aerobics: Many of us are aware of the advantageous impacts that workout has on one s well-being and health. Various studies exhibit that every day exercise, particularly a program that includes aerobic exercise, can counteract or lessen feelings of anger or depression. Aerobic exercises, much like cardio activities, such as running, brisk walking, swimming and bike riding gets a person out of breath while expanding the pulse and heart rate.

Muscle relaxation: Muscle relaxation requires you to concentrate on straining and unwinding specific muscle groups in your body, so that it can divert you from your sentiments of anger. Moreover, it is great for mitigating nervousness and pressure, which can likewise ease angry emotions. This activity additionally attempts to help you rest when your emotions are running high. Concentrate on a specific muscle group, for example, the muscles in one hand. While breathing in profoundly and gradually, crush the muscles as hard as you can and keep up that pressure for five seconds. For instance, straining your hand muscles would include shaping a tight clench hand. Concentrate on that gathering of muscles and make an effort not to unintentionally tense the surrounding muscles.

30 minutes: There is a lot to be gained even from a 30 minute routine at the gym, in the recreation center or at home. If you have any sort of medical condition, or if you are not sure about the condition of your health, you must consult your doctor. When you get medicinal freedom for activities, it helps arranging and using a work out timetable of no less than thrice each week.

All things considered, you do not have anything to lose except excess weight, depression and now, perhaps even anger. Along these lines, in case that you need to better deal with your anger as it emerges, a great workout might be the correct approach.

How Workout is the Best Way to Get Over Your Anger?

One of the most common personality disorders, BPD or borderline personality disorder often remains undiagnosed or repressed and gets passed off as mood swings or a volatile disposition. However this disorder is much more than just mood swings as it can seriously affect the quality of a person s life. The primary manifestation of this disorder is in the way you think about yourself and others which result in the work that you need to do on a daily basis.

How does BPD manifest in your life?
The most common ways Borderline personality disorder can manifest in your life is with extreme mood swings or emotions, a discernable pattern in relationships becoming unstable after sometime, impulsive behavior, and a self image which is distorted. BPD thus affects how you view yourself, how you feel about others and you resultant behavior in general. Some of the typical signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder are mentioned below.

Persistent feelings of emptiness

Anger in inappropriate or unnecessary places, losing your temper very frequently, resulting in physical fights
Fearing abandonment intensely, whether it is real or imagined and thus going huge lengths to stop it from happening
Extreme instability in relationships which may cause a partner to be liked one moment and then hated the next
People with BPD also tend to be suicidal which is often caused by the fear of rejection or separation
Engaging in risky and impulsive behaviors such as
Engaging in unsafe sex despite being aware of the implications
Splurging money on gambling
Leaving a good job suddenly
A tendency to indulge in drugs
Binge eating
Reckless driving
Suddenly terminating a healthy and positive relationship
Sudden changes in values and self-identity and goals and feeling low about yourself as a result
Causes of Borderline personality disorder
In most cases borderline personality disorder can t be exactly attributed to a single cause and in most cases, is a combination of factors. While genetic or hereditary predisposition can cause BPD it may also be triggered by other factors. Also, not curbing mal-traits in young children or encouraging such behaviors may lead to BPD as they grow up. Some of the factors that contribute to BPD are

Genetics
Abnormalities in the brain
Childhood incidents which were stressful
Personality traits which have worsened
If you think you have been displaying some of the symptoms for a fairly prolonged period, it is advisable that you visit a mental health professional for counseling and start with therapy as advised by them.

Borderline Personality Disorder - How It Manifests In Your Life?

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