No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

With exam time around the corner, the stress is on both parents and students. Some kids spend very less time with books and assimilate all that is there in the books. Other children may have a hard time trying to focus on studies and even harder time in recollecting what they have studied. 

What can help improve focus, concentration, and memory? Try some of these tips and identify what works for you and build your own rules.

Create a suitable environment: Some claim that they study better with the TV or radio on, this is often not true. Get rid of background noises, phone ringtones, etc. This creates  division of attention,  where there is no 100% focus on books. Sit in a quiet environment without any disturbance for better focus. Red walls are believed to improve concentration, so try a red wallpaper, red computer desktop, etc. Sit in the same place and get into a regular routine of studying.
Draw up a schedule or timetable: Try to finish the tougher subjects or topics first by giving adequate time for these.
Treat yourself: When you have thoroughly understood a topic or cracked a practice exam well, treat yourself to a bar of chocolate or a video song. You begin to do better in anticipation of these treats.
Include breaks: A break of 15 minutes every two hours is very essential for the brain to process the information that was pumped in and to get ready for the next lot.
Work on improving brain power: Learning (memorizing or analyzing) stimulates the brain and improves brain power. So, people who are constantly studying can claim to have better brain power.
Build a concentration clock: With our attention spans spiralling down, this is very important. Force yourself to sit in one place and study. If you have the urge to break, try to delay it, first by two minutes, then five minutes, and then 10 minutes. This will gradually help you overcome the urge to take breaks.
Have healthy food: Eating healthy and nutritious food is another habit to develop, if you want to pep up your brain. Ensure your food has sufficient minerals and vitamins. Try eating fresh food and dairy products adequately.
Follow a systematic sleep routine: If you are not someone who likes to sleep for fixed eight hours, begin doing it. This works wonders for the body and mind like very few other things.
Exercise regularly: This improves blood circulation to the brain and improves brain functioning. So be it cycling or running, gymming or swimming, take an exercise break. Yoga or meditation are equally efficient. 

Improve Your Concentration - Make Your Study Hour Count!

A bad habit could range from smoking or drinking to knuckle breaking or nail biting. A bad habit is one that causes or is likely to cause you or the others in your life, harm. Here are eight steps that can help you break your bad habit:

Try to understand your habit: The most important thing to break a bad habit is to know it first. In case that some habit is hurting you then you certainly need to let go of it. You initially need to set your mind about bringing an end to that habit. It is also important to understand how this habit of yours is hurting you or the ones around you.
Change your thinking: Even when we get to know we have some unfortunate habit, more often than not we are not prepared to separate it since we have practised that habit since a long time and it is by all accounts intense to break that one. We have to change our reasoning about the habit and take a look at it in negative viewpoints since a thing having negative perspectives will be simpler to quit.
Begin small: In case that you have a negative behaviour pattern since quite a while then go slow to break it down in light of the fact that a bad habit is hard to separate at once. Try not to attempt to do everything at once since you would not have the capacity to do as such.
Make tiny improvements: Try not to make extreme improvements to your habit since it is your habit and it will some way or another takes its time to break. Rather make little improvements with the goal that it will not aggravate you and soon you will encounter a noteworthy change in your behaviour and afterwards you will separate the habit totally on a more lasting basis.
Change your environment: A few habits are built because of the environment we live in. The steady surrounding makes us construct that habit in a manner that it gets stronger day by day. So in case that you understand that some negative behaviour patterns have overtaken your life and are not going down, attempt to change your surroundings.
Keep a check: Simply going ahead to bring an end to any habit will not give you appropriate results. Keeping a survey helps you in checking on how much of your bad habit you have defeated and how far you are from breaking it completely.
Reward yourself: Offer yourself a reward each time you see that you have stopped behaving in a certain way, or practising a certain habit. This goes a long way in motivating the individual to strive towards that end goal of breaking the habit completely.

Want to Break a Bad Habit - 7 Steps You Must Follow!

Chronic health disorders like schizophrenia affect not only the patient, but also the life of their care givers. Though schizophrenia can be treated to improve the patient's quality of life, it cannot be cured. Hence, it falls on the care giver's shoulders to watch out for symptoms of this disease and manage the person and their disorder. What should one do in such a case?

1. Educate yourself: the first step towards looking after a person with schizophrenia is to know the symptoms of the disease. With treatment, these may become better or worse so if you notice any change in the symptoms, bring it to your doctors notice at once.

2. Reduce stress: your goal as a schizophrenic person's caregiver should be to give them a calm environment and boost their confidence. Stress has a negative effect on all people and in schizophrenics this effect is much worse. Hence reduce stress and create an effective support system and structured environment for your loved one.

3. Do not ask the patient to change'his reality: when a person is suffering from schizophrenia, you should not force them to change their behaviour and reality, in order to adjust in the society at large. You should rather support the patient to accept his reality, to be at peace, since there is a very strong genetic component involved in its aetiology. Also, it is important that, both the patient and the family in particular should opt for regular counselling sessions.

4. Regular exercise: schizophrenics need not be cooped up in the house all day. Encourage the patient to go outside and exercise regularly. Exercise reduces stress and produces endorphins that make a person feel energized and happy. This should be complemented by a healthy diet. Minimize the amount of carbs and sugar intake and increase the amounts of omega 3 fatty acids in the patient's diet.

5. Join a support group: joining a support group is a very good idea for both the patient and the caregiver. For the patient, this provides a form of social interaction and for the caregiver is a platform to meet people with similar first hand experiences

6. Encourage treatment: convincing a schizophrenic person to seek treatment can be quite challenging. Suggest treating symptoms of the disorder such as insomnia and lack of energy rather than the disease itself to make the patient feel more comfortable. Give the patient options to choose from to make them feel more in control of the situation.

7. Monitor medication: once the treatment has started, ensure that the patient sticks to the prescription. Maintain a regular schedule by using weekly pill boxes and alarms. Also keep an eye on the possible side effects of these medicines. Ensure that your doctor has a complete list of medicines that the patient takes so that there is no chance of medicines interacting negatively with each other.

8. Prepare for crisis situations: it is always a good idea to have an emergency plan in place. Keep emergency contact details of all the doctors and therapists at hand along with the address and phone number of the closest hospital. Share your situation with friends and family so that in case of an emergency, they can be relied upon to take care of your children and other dependants.

Living with Schizophrenia

 I have a severe stomach ache, I feel like vomiting ... Mom, please!! I can't go for exam.
 I read it! I knew it all ... But I just blacked out.  
 I just couldn't write! My hands were trembling.  
 I messed up this question! I can do nothing right... I can never succeed in life!!  

It's not uncommon for students to experience such problems before/ during an exam.

Most of us suffer from some degree of anxiety when we prepare or sit for an examination. Examination usually leads to a lot of tension and anxiety commonly known as examination phobia. Examination phobia or Examophobia is a mental disorder found in most of the students. When exams arrive, students become extremely worried and make plans about how to study, how to perform better and get good grades. Some students find exams so difficult that the phobia makes them sick as they simply find themselves unable to cope up with the exam fear. There may be sweating, palpitations that disturb so much that one cannot think straight and end up messing up the paper. Also, in subsequent exams, it becomes worse and the fear intensifies. The person may end up feeling a failure, feeling guilty and may even be suicidal! 

Anxiety is a normal human feeling that is part of life and can often serve as a good form of adrenaline. However, in few people, this adrenaline rush exceeds normal limits and at times may lead to some negative consequences.

Exam anxiety is:

1. Excessive worry about upcoming exams 
2. Fear of being evaluated 
3. Apprehension about the consequence 
4. Experienced by many normal students

POSSIBLE CAUSES 
(I) Environmental Causes

1. High expectations of parents 
2. Parents imposing their ambitions on children 
3. Parents competing for higher social status through child's scores 
4. Constant comparison with other kids 
5. Fear of teachers 
6. Insulting remarks from teachers

(II) Poor studying styles: 
1. Inefficient:

1. Irregular coverage of the entire syllabus 
2. Trying to memorize the course book 
3. Binge learning 
4. Studying all-night right before exams

2. Ineffective:

1. Reading without understanding the topic 
2. Unable to recollect the material 
3. Not making revision notes 
4. Not revising

(III) Psychological factors:

1. Feeling little or no control over the exam situation (rather than knowing and applying exam strategies) 
2. Negative thinking and self-criticism 
3. Irrational thinking about exams and outcomes 
4. Irrational beliefs  If I don't pass, my (family/boyfriend/girlfriend/friends) will lose respect for me  
5. Irrational demands  I have to get at least 98% or I am worthless.  
6. Catastrophic predictions  I'll fail no matter what I do there s no point.  
7. Low Self-esteem 
8. Fear of failure

SYMPTOMS OF EXAM ANXIETY 
The symptoms can range from minor nervousness to a panic attack, which can ruin the test. But whatever the level of your anxiety, learning to keep yourself calm and managing the fear of sitting for an examination is what it takes to come out with flying colors.

1. Physical symptoms. Headache, nausea, diarrhea, excessive sweating, shortness of breath, rapid heartbeat, lightheadedness and feeling faint can all occur. Test anxiety can lead to a panic attack, which is the abrupt onset of intense fear or discomfort in which individuals may feel like they are unable to breathe or having a heart attack. 
2. Emotional symptoms. Feelings of anger, fear, helplessness and disappointment are common emotional responses to test anxiety. 
3. Behavioral/Cognitive symptoms. Difficulty concentrating, thinking negatively and comparing yourself to others are common symptoms of test anxiety.

HOW TO PREPARE WELL FOR AN EXAMINATION 
Fortunately, there are several methods that you can adopt to reduce your examination stress, which will not only help you to get higher grades but also improve your overall mental health.

1. Regular Studies Develop good study habits- ATTEND classes regularly, finish all the assignments on time, make notes properly and be an actively engaging student in school. Leave plenty of time to revise so that you don't have to do last minute cramming. Giving yourself adequate time will help to boost your confidence and reduce any pre-exam stress as you know you have prepared well. Instead of waiting for the eleventh hour, start studying as and when the academic year commences. With a good amount of time before hand, you will certainly feel more relaxed as you have plenty of time to give-in your best. 
2. Exercise Matters - It is of paramount importance to maintain mental, psychological and physical health to ace any exam. Exercising regularly, deep breathing and  pranayama  help in improving one s cognitive faculties, that results in lesser anxiety and simultaneously better grades in the tests. 
3. Don t Undermine the Importance of Diet - Be careful about your diet during the exams. A diet lacking in essential nutrients can put a major dent in your preparations; make you feel nauseated, SLEEPY OR overstressed during the crucial hours. 
4. SLEEP WELL - Adequate sleep is also vital. SLEEPING TOO LESS OR TOO MUCH CAN ALSO HAMPER YOUR ABILITIES 
5. Support - Take short breaks in between and spend some quality time with your family; share your feelings and state of mind with them. Spending time with the family can turn out to be a major stress buster. 
6. Set a Study Time: Lastly, drawing up a schedule will help you make the most of your study time. Set aside a time for your studies and follow it meticulously. Keep it flexible so that you can make the necessary adjustments. 
7. Stay focused: Concentrate on your studies, not others during the examination time. Avoid talking with other students about the subject before an examination. 
8. Use Mnemonics: Mnemonics are the techniques of memorization. You can make chart, rhymes or phrase to memorize your lessons. 
9. Practice Deep Breathing Regularly - Meditation is one of the best medicine that can reduce your anxiety. Make a habit to Meditate at least 10 minutes per day. It surely increases your concentration power. 
10. Consult Psychologist: If your anxiety becomes uncontrollable, don t hesitate to consult a psychologist or therapist. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) is pretty effective in treating anxiety disorders. It helps to change your thought process and negative beliefs. Performance or test anxiety is highly treatable so you can get absolutely get a better result.

HOW TO ATTEMPT THE EXAMINATION IN BEST POSSIBLE WAY 
(I) ON THE DAY OF EXAM

1. Get a restful, uninterrupted sleep the night before so you wake up refreshed and revitalized the day of the exam. 
2. Have a healthy breakfast but strictly avoid oily and heavy food 
3. Recheck your required stuff (pen, pencil, compass box, eraser, admit card, watch etc) before leaving home. 
4. Take the water bottle along with you to the examination hall. 
5. Avoid touching new/left-out topic at the last moment. 
6. Aim to reach the examination hall well in time. 
7. Avoid being part of Before-exam peer discussions on How well-prepared or unprepared others are! The classic  Tera kitna ho gaya  question followed by undue comparisons can be a complete confidence killer. So Beware !! 
8. If feeling tensed, take deep-long breaths and engage in positive self-talk; reminding yourself that you prepared best to your ability and tell oneself   I CAN DO IT  

(II) IN THE EXAMINATION HALL

First of all, fill the required information on the answer sheet. 
Read the instructions carefully to figure out if you have a choice of questions, no. of questions to be attempted etc. 
Read the question paper thoroughly before u begin writing and mark the questions under 3 categories: (a) Easy (b) Manageable (c) Difficult 
Manage your time: This is where you strictly need to stick to the plan:
Before you begin, allocate time for each question based on the marks it carries and difficulty level. 
If you are not able to complete an answer within planned time-frame, leave some space and move onto the next question. 
Always divide time in such a way that you are left with some time at the end to go back over incomplete answers and revise/recheck. 
Always try to attempt all the questions. 
Attempt the Easy questions first, followed by Manageable and Difficult questions at last. That way you stay secure, calm and confident. 
Avoid writing too lengthy answer just because you know it well.
5. Presentation:

a. Handwriting should be neat & readable. 
b. Instead of very long paragraphs, put your answer point-wise. 
c. Wherever possible, illustrate the information via Flowcharts/diagrams etc. 
d. Highlight: underline or highlight the main points using pencil / coloured markers but you should keep it for last spare moments.

(III) TIPS FOR PARENTS: 
Encourage your kids! Parents have the ability to address underlying fears that may be present with test-taking. At a deep level, even subconsciously, a student may fear failure for a variety of reasons. There could be a fear of looking dumb to friends, of not getting into the best school, or of not meeting parent s expectations. A great help is for parents to reinforce their unconditional support and encouragement to the child. Parents, let your children know that their grade does not determine their worth. Believe in your child. 

Help them get over the myth that  Success in exam is a predictor of success in life . 

Good marks = Great job. 
Poor marks = End of life!!

In short,  There are no secrets to success. It is the result of Time Management, Hard work and Learning from mistakes 

Say Goodbye To Exam Phobia!

As per medical studies, bipolar disorder is a personality disorder that is said to affect millions of people around the world, as per medical studies. Extreme mood swings that take a person from a state of euphoria to depression can be called bipolar disorder. While we all go through phases of the same, the patients who suffer from this disorder will usually show a persistent swing or shift between varying moods. The severe shifts will lead to difficulties when it comes to managing one's everyday affairs in a normal manner. The symptoms and signs are also characterised by the phases and mood swings that the patient may be going through. 
Read on to know more about the signs and symptoms of bipolar disorder.

1. Mania: One of the extremes in mood swings experienced by the patient includes extreme euphoria or mania for no apparent, or life altering reason. Feeling overly happy and enthusiastic are the basic symptoms of this phase.

2. Impulsive: The patient can end up feeling elated for a prolonged period of time, with extreme restlessness and impulsive behaviour. They may also end up getting agitated and edgy. This is usually characterised by fidgety behaviour and when the patient speaks too fast. The patient may speak too fast due to racing thoughts which overtake his or her speech and actions.

3. Confidence: In this stage, the patient may also display extraordinary confidence, which may not necessarily be backed by reality. In reality, things may be very different in terms of opportunities, skills, people and other such factors. During this mania phase, the patient may also indulge in risky behaviour that gives an adrenaline rush like gambling and having sexual intercourse with multiple partners. This usually happens when the patient is bolstered by a sudden surge of unfounded confidence.

4. Depression: This is the other end of the spectrum for these patients. When the mania abates, it gives to way to extreme depression and even anxiety.

5. Withdrawal: The patient usually tends to isolate himself or herself from the rest of the family and social circle for a prolonged period, refusing to meet anyone on a normal basis. They also avoid contact with people whom they meet every day, which can have an adverse effect on their work and the rest of the aspects of their lives.

6. Memory and Concentration: In this phase, the patient can also experience difficulty in remembering important things and concentrating on tasks. The patient may also be preoccupied with a number of things which can prevent him or her from making proper decisions. Slow speech and lack of energy may follow as a result of such preoccupation. Preoccupation with death is a common symptom of this phase.

Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder

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