Saif and Kareena show you how to bridge the age gap perfectly in relationships

There?s a lot to learn from the love story of the 10th nawab of Pataudi, Saif Ali Khan, and the Bollywood actress, Kareena Kapoor. Despite the 13 year age gap between them, the two have a very strong and mature relationship. So what keeps the two sticking together through thick and thin? here?s how saif and Kareena have bridged the age gap to emerge as a powerful couple.

1. They know that age is just a number

For saif and kareena the 13-year difference is not an issue. They know that what matters, in the end, is not how old you are but the kind of personality you have. Both saif and kareena have a mature personality, and they gel perfectly well with each other. This is the reason why they are able to connect and maintain a strong and healthy relationship.

2. They care about each other?s family

Kareena has a very strong relationship with Sharmila Tagore, Saif?s mother. Not only that, Kareena has also made sure she is on good terms with saif?s children from his previous marriage as well. Accepting each other?s family and past is a very important step in making a relationship work. Not only that, their families act as a support group for them, which helps them going on despite the difference of years between them.

3. They share common interests

Another thing that makes their relationship work is the fact that they share several common interests, which help them in coming closer and making their bond stronger. Saif and Kareena often go on trips together, attend cricket matches together and make it a point to go out for regular romantic dinner dates.

4. They respect each others? views 

Nothing could be more important in a relationship than respecting each other?s decisions. The pataudi family tradition had women changing to Islam after marriage, with even Sharmila Tagore converting after her marriage. However, Kareena did not want to, and Saif fully supported her decision. Even their marriage ceremony was a mishmash of their differing religions. So, if you want your relationship to work, be very open and accepting of each other?s differences and views.


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Saif and Kareena Show How to Bridge the Age Gap Perfectly in Relationships

Children should be brought up with utmost care. A child should not be your centre of attraction only because it is incapable to fend for itself, but also because it is not half as aware as you are or could be about its problems. Parents punish their children for the slightest of their mistakes; they at times even threaten children to bring home a lesson. Patience and observation are two key things in good parenting. The foibles of your child might indicate at an underlying medical condition. Instead of fixating over the mistakes try and locate the root cause. Early diagnosis of autism can save your child from a bleak future.

The following are a few symptoms of autism in children:

Social interaction is a huge challenge: Children suffering from autism are usually noticed to live in a world of their own. They hardly listen to people around them or hardly talk. The presence of many people can scare them or make them conscious. When spoken to, they look away. They do not feel comfortable in revealing their joys or fears. Autistic children like to play alone; they are not interested in group activities with friends.
Difficulties in communicating their needs: Communication is the biggest problem autistic children seem to face regularly. They are not able to express their needs and emotions. If they are hungry they might scream or break things but not ask for food. They even fail to comprehend instructions and seem confounded by simple situations. Their speech could comprise of mumbling. Autism in children could make them develop a condition popularly known as echolalia under the effect of which they mouth words without knowing their meanings in an extremely strange tone.
An obsessive, repetitive behavior: Children with autism could be persistent in some of their actions. Their body gestures could be repetitive; for instance, they can continue flapping their arms for hours together. Children in certain cases are also very particular about routine. Quite strikingly, objects affect them and they might scrutinize an object meticulously.
Sensory problems: Light sound and touch can have a huge impact on children suffering from autism. Patches of light and shade intrigue them whereas high pitched sounds could depress or intimidate them. They usually prefer deep pressure touch and might not respond to anything else.

Autism in Children: Prevalent Symptoms

Ageing is inevitable, and as much as we want to escape, there is no way out. All organs, whether obvious or not, undergo gradual degeneration and deterioration. The brain is no exception, and memory being one of its main function also begins to decline with age. There are various factors which determine how quickly this ageing sets in and how rapidly it progresses. These are dictated by a person s lifestyle, activity levels, and overall body changes. Dementia also has a strong family history, and if you know someone who has a family history, there are some early signs that you could watch for. This will help in both empathizing with the person, as well as to help in arresting progression. Read on to know the signs that need to be watched out for.

Mood changes: Sudden changes in mood, especially going into short periods of depression without an obvious reason, is one of the first symptoms of dementia. If it is happening repeatedly, this can help identify dementia.
Personality changes: If a shy person suddenly becomes outgoing or vice versa, this could be an early indicator of dementia. They either develop or shed inhibitions, which is a new change for them.
Memory loss: Sudden short-term memory loss for a person who had a very strong memory is a definite indicator of dementia. They might clearly remember the distant events but forget small things like where to find their medicines, where things are in the kitchen or bathroom, etc. Because of this, you might see them repeating what they just did. This could be like washing a glass again, saying or asking the same thing again, etc.
The difficulty with regular tasks: Short-term memory loss causes difficulty with regular tasks like laying out the dinner table, finding regular medicines, paying utility bills, etc. There is also difficulty in learning new tasks, which further complicates things.
Feeling lost: Due to sudden memory loss and difficulty with regular tasks, they suddenly feel lost, which in turns adds to their depression.
Apathy: This also leads to a general lack of interest in things and people around them. They could have had hobbies, which no longer interest them.
Disoriented: They find it difficult to be aligned to time and space. Directions which they clearly know could seem difficult.
Not able to connect the dots: While the elderly people are generally good at telling stories and anecdotes, with dementia setting in, this becomes difficult.
These are some symptoms which can help identify if a near one is slowly developing dementia. Identifying in the early stages can help in arresting progress and extending support.

Dementia - How To Know If Someone Is Suffering From It?

Excess of anything is never healthy and the same applies in the case of alcohol. Alcohol experts have come to a conclusion that drinking too much alcohol reduces affects negatively in both the genders.

Alcohol Myth Busted

Since time immemorial, people have considered alcohol to be an aphrodisiac. However, this myth has been busted time and again by the side effects of excessive alcohol. On the contrary, alcohol is known to induce depression after consumption.

Alcohol, if consumed in unnatural quantity over a period of time can turn conditions like 'brewer's droop', which otherwise might be temporary into permanent impotence. Alcohol addiction is a cardinal sin for couples planning on having a baby. Women, whose bodies are much more sensitive and complex than a man's body, react greatly to even a small quantity of alcohol. Even government's guidelines on low-risk alcohol consumption unit do not guarantee no harm, and people are known to have taken much longer time to get pregnant and irregularity in their menstrual cycles even after abiding by the government's guidelines.

What Is Moderation?

No one is asking you to completely cut down on alcohol. But moderation should then be a religion for all the drinkers. Moderate drinking includes no more than 2 drinks per day (US. Centre for Disease Control and Prevention). The explanation is that your liver can act on alcohol at one standard size drink an hour, so heavy drinking means that too much alcohol for the liver to handle and hence unhealthy toxins are released in the body having an adverse effect on the sex life.

Some of the more common problems caused by alcohol in a couple's sex life are:

Long-term erectile dysfunction: The most common of all the problems, erectile dysfunction can most commonly be attributed to heavy drinking. 60% of men who are alcohol addicts are known to be suffering from loss of sexual appetite.

Ruined Families and relationships: Alcohol can be considered one of the biggest inducers of divorce among couples. It makes people less caring and more and more involved in their drinking antics. 90% of domestic violence incidents include alcohol.

Side effects of smoking: Drinking is usually accompanied by cigarettes and a cocktail of these two substances can be a deadly weapon against your sanity. For men below 40, erectile dysfunction primarily happens because of excessive smoking.

STDs: Alcohol consumption helps people shed their inhibition and cases of unprotected sex increases. It increases your chances of actually getting an STD. 50% of all impromptu sexual encounters happen in the presence of alcohol and 60% STD spread when alcohol is also in the picture. Young adults who consume alcohol at an alarming rate are 7 times more likely to indulge in unprotected sexual intercourse.

Hence, we see that alcohol addiction does not compliment healthy sex life and therefore people must toe in line at the right time to ensure the wellbeing of their lifestyle and sexual activities.

Alcohol And Its Effect On Sexual Life

Personality refers to the enduring and habitual patterns of behaviour, cognition, emotion, motivation and ways of relating to others. In simpler terms, it's the persona we have for the world to see and interact with. If these patterns or ways of relating with others become nonadaptive or pathological, a personality disorder develops.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is such a disorder of personality that causes mood swings, self-esteem issues, impulsive behavior and recurrent self-harm behaviour. It is very difficult to lead a normal life with these varied psychological issues.

The symptoms begin to appear from early childhood but they take a serious form only when one reaches adulthood. Issues with behavior and emotion are difficult to treat, people suffering from this illness should be willing to spend a lot of time and be dedicated towards his/her recovery. Through treatments and therapies, they do make significant improvements over time.

Causes

The exact cause of borderline personality disorder is not known but various reasons have been hypothesised as possible aetiology. Neuro-chemical disturbance in the brain, genetic vulnerability, some kind of childhood trauma like abandonment, death, neglect and/ or sexual abuse are probable causes of the disease. Prolonged and chronic stress/ anxiety may also lead to triggering of BPD symptomatology in vulnerable individuals later in life.

Symptoms

Prolonged dysthymia/ sadness
Feeling lonely/ misfit
Emotional dysregulation or Frequent mood swings
Significant interpersonal issues
Self-Injurious behaviour like making cuts in skin, burning, pricking etc

These symptoms are warning signs of borderline personality disorder and should be paid attention to:

Abandonment issue - People suffering from BPD have serious abandonment issues. They have an intense fear that they would be left alone and often act out to restrict their love ones from leaving. Sometimes their strategy is to not get too close to protect themselves from being left alone, so they appear aloof.
Disturbed self-image - People have self-esteem issues, they sometimes love or hate themselves or see themselves as evil. They have unclear goals, views, beliefs and often end up changing their friends, lovers, jobs, sexual identity frequently.
Dysfunctional relationships - It is very difficult to maintain a normal relationship for people with personality disorder. They tend to have quick short-lived relationships and get put off very easily which leads to a lot of heartbreak.
Suicidal tendencies and frequent self-harm behaviour like cutting skin using blades/ sharp objects are common.

Drugs and alcohol abuse, eating disorders and sexual promiscuity are other forms of self-destructive behaviour commonly encountered in this population. Extreme aggression, delusions, transitional Psychotic states are other possible symptoms of BPD.

Love and support from family and friends are crucial for patients suffering from this disease. Prolonged counseling sessions, therapies and the effort to break away from the chronic gloomy thoughts will definitely lead one to a better life.

All about Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline personality disorder (bpd) is a mental illness. A patient suffering from bpd maintains unstable relationships with other people, shows inappropriate emotional reactions and possesses suicidal or self-harm tendencies. It is purely a personality disorder caused due to multiple factors. Patients suffering from bpd may find it difficult to stay alone. They fear abandonment and loneliness. Yet they have a tendency of showing mood swings, sudden emotional outburst or anger and hostility. This prevents them from having a long lasting relationship in life.

It usually starts affecting the patient's life from early adulthood. It however seems to improve with age. The patient also has distorted self-image. He or she is unclear about what they want from life or what they are in reality. Even minor incidents can trigger intense reactions in people with bpd.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

The signs of suffering from bpd are listed below:

Intense and frantic effort to avoid abandonment or loneliness
Unstable relationships with people and changing the attitude towards them drastically. It can change from being in immense love with each other to intense hatred.
Developing paranoid thoughts and having dissociative feelings-the patient often lacks the feeling of self and suffers from identity crisis.
Suicidal feelings and attempts
Tendency to cause self harm or destruction by drug abuse, driving irresponsibly or be having unprotected sex
Reflecting intense depression
Chronic boredom
Sudden anger and hostility
Causes for borderline personality disorder.

Borderline personality disorder can be caused due to multiple reasons. Usually it has been found by researchers that it occurs to patients who have had a disturbed childhood. Complex and unpleasant happenings in the childhood may leave a deep impact on the patient's personality, which comes back as a disorder in his or her early adulthood. From mental, physical to sexual abuse in the childhood can lead to this condition in adults.

Besides, researchers have discovered recently that this illness has hereditary links. Some genes may be responsible for bpd. Improper functioning of the brain is also another factor. Especially, the portion of brain that controls emotions might not be functioning properly in co-ordination with other parts of it.

Diagnosis.

There is no particular clinical test that can diagnose bpd. It can be diagnosed by a series of interactive session with the patient by a psychiatrist.

Treatment.

The treatment of bpd involves three steps- psychotherapy, medications and support from peer and family. Dialectical behavioral therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy and psychodynamic psychotherapy are used in treating the patient. There are no specific medicines to cure identity crisis, boredom and loneliness. However, other symptoms like mood swings, depression and anxiety can be treated with anti-depressants and mood stabilizers. Antipsychotic drugs are also helpful to a certain extent. In extreme cases, hospitalization may be needed.

A Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder

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