HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

There are mainly three kinds of burns. The degree of burns is determined by the extent of damage that the burn causes. First degree burns are minor while third degree ones are extremely severe. Variety of factors could lead to a burn. They may be chemical, electrical, fire and even sun induced. Boiling or scalding liquids might result in burns as well. The burn type isn t necessarily determined by what causes it. Scalding hot water might cause all the three types of burns; based on the duration of the skin being in contact with the water and how hot the water is. 

Electrical and chemical burns need immediate tending to by a doctor as it might affect the internal body without it being apparent as the damage to the skin is not much. There are also fourth-degree burns. This type of burn includes all of the symptoms of a third-degree burn and also extends beyond the skin into tendons and bones.

First-degree burns: These result in the least skin damage and are also known as  superficial burns  as they only affect the skin s outermost layer. Redness, pain, minor swelling and inflammation are all the symptoms of a first degree burn. As a first degree burn heals, dry skin and peeling takes place. As the skin peels, the symptoms and signs disappear as the burn only manifests on the top most skin layer. It usually takes a week or little more for a first degree burn to heal without any scarring. If the burnt area affects over three inches of skin, or is on the face, then a doctor should be consulted. Home care generally suffices for a first degree burn. Healing time accelerates with rapid treatment of the burn.
Second-degree burns: They are serious as the extent of damage is deeper than the topmost layer of the skin. The skin becomes extremely sore with the formation of red blisters. The blisters might pop open and as time passes, the wound may develop a scab. Proper bandaging is required to reduce chances of an infection. Home remedies should be avoided. The burns usually heal within three weeks.
Third-degree burns: They are the most severe. They extend through each layer of the skin. They might not cause any pain due to the severity of burn as the nerves might get damaged. There might be extreme scarring if corrective surgery isn t done.

Burns - Understanding Its Degrees!

What causes warts? Can we prevent it?

Warts are small formations that occur on the skin. They appear in the form of dark protruding bumps or brown flat lesion on the skin surface. Sometimes they might also have tiny black specks on them. Warts usually form on the hands, feet, face and genitals, although they may appear on other parts of the body in some cases.

What causes the formation of warts?

Common warts are caused due to infection of the outermost layer of skin that occurs as a result of viral contamination. The virus that is responsible for this condition belongs to the human papillomavirus (HPV) family.

This infection is highly contagious and easily spreads from one person to the next. It is most likely to occur on skin that is cut or damaged as that allows easy access for the virus to enter the skin system.

How to prevent the formation of warts?

Common warts are contagious and spread very easily. Preventing the spread of the HPV virus can be done through simple steps that will help you avoid getting affected by this condition.

Some of the preventive measures that can be adopted are as follows:

- picking and scratching on warts should be avoided

- avoid biting fingernails as gnawing on the skin around the nails makes it more prone to infection

- grooming, brushing and shaving around infected areas should be done with care

- moisture and dampness should be avoided as the virus thrives on it

Do not self-medicate with lime (chuna), garlic, onion or Dettol.

Treatment

Wart removal should be done by a qualified dermatologist. It is simple, safe opd procedure which takes few minutes only and does not leave any scars.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'consult'.
Related Tip: 6 Effective Ways to Get Rid of Warts - Cauliflower-like Skin Inflammation

What Causes WARTs? Can We Prevent it?

A small piece of bone is known as a fragment and it is very common that an avulsion fracture also tends to damage the protrusions of bone to which the tendons attach. This basically means that the tendon or ligament will come away from the bone and it will take a small piece of bone with it. It is sometimes very hard to find out what type of injury you have and this is why knowing the causes and symptoms of an avulsion fracture are very helpful in determining exactly how severe the injury is. 
Here are the causes of an avulsion fracture.
Causes:
Explosive Landing: Athletes who tend to jump or land with great impact tend to get these most commonly. Therefore, it is crucial for your health that if you participate in such sports, you do follow the correct method of jumping.
Explosive Extension: Similar to how an athlete landing ferociously can get an avulsion fracture, someone who is extending the legs very violently and explosively during an exercise can also get an avulsion fracture. This is because the bone getting extended could very well damage the protrusions to which the tendons are attached. 
Symptoms:
These are the two main causes of an avulsion fracture. There are not many symptoms of an avulsion fracture. This is because an avulsion fracture can only be determined by an MRI or by an X-ray scan. Therefore it is nearly impossible to diagnose that you have an avulsion fracture without looking at the results of the tests performed on the part of your body. However, the way you got the fracture and especially the details of it are very good indications of whether you have an avulsion fracture or not.


Causes and Symptoms of Avulsion Fracture

Bloodshot eyes aren't exactly the best feature of a person! When a person's eyes are bloodshot, it is quite easy to 'see' that something is wrong! Eyes are possibly the most delicate organs of the body, and are all the more vulnerable to infections such as 'subconjunctival haemorrhage'. However, as dour as such terms may sound, there is a lot which really should be known about them!

The eye has a thin layer which goes by the name of the conjunctiva, which covers a part called the sclera. Many a times, especially in the case of children, if an injury unfortunately occurs in the eye, there are chances that it may form subconjunctival haemorrhage.

The reason why this occurs is that there are some of the very small blood vessels in a person's eye break. The reason for this, apart from an injury could also be on account of a sudden increase in the blood pressure of the person. This usually takes place due to some very strenuous lifting exercise but also can occur due to laughing or sneezing!

The occurrence of a subconjunctival haemorrhage can also be closely linked to the consumption of pills which thin the blood such as aspirin.

Treating Subconjunctival Haemorrhage

Now, considering the fact that such a haemorrhage has the potential to look quite scary, it may be natural for a person to react proactively. However, in many cases this is not required at all. As a matter of fact, the issue clears up within a couple of weeks at the maximum and a week and a half, on average. If this does not happen to be the case, it is a signal that a medical professional should take a look at the patient's eye.

In many instances, a person may not even get to know that he or she is suffering from a subconjunctival haemorrhage as there is no effect on the vision of the person and he or she would probably get to know that this is the case by taking a look in the mirror or being informed of his or her eye looking red.

In order to treat a subconjunctival haemorrhage in an effective manner, the first thing to be done by a person is to avoid any medication which could be causing it. Also, it is quite important not to rub one's eye as this really does slow down the healing process.

Artificial tears help soothe the eye but they do not hasten the rate of repair. A subconjunctival haemorrhage may occur, but if a person follows the right steps, his or her vision can consistently remain 20/20!

All About Subconjunctival Haemorrhage

Food allergies have been on the rise and many food items have been identified as potential allergens. Common items like citrus fruits, coconut, peanuts, tree nuts, gluten can cause allergies. You don't need to stay away from your favorite dish just because it contains one of the allergy-causing ingredients. You can customize your dish with suitable substitutions and enjoy your food without worrying.

Peanut

Peanut is one of the most common allergy-causing items. It has severe effects on people who are allergic to it. On its consumption, the throat of allergic person swells up, blocking the airways which can lead to anaphylaxis. So, for people who are allergic to this grain legume, peanut -laden cuisines like Thai food, peanut butter, and jelly are all prohibited. But you can replace peanut with sesame seeds, pumpkin seeds, and hemp which are available in butter form as well.

Citrus fruits

Lime, orange, lemon, and grapefruit have been seen to cause discomfort in both adolescents and adults. There are so many citrus-flavored drinks that it becomes difficult to find a nice harmless drink. But, if you are allergic to these fruits you can go for strawberry, raspberry, and apple-flavored drinks, which are easily available.

Coconut

Coconut is used in place of milk in vegan recipes; it can replace milk in food items like ice cream, sweet drinks, and curries. If you are allergic to coconut, substitute it with rice, soy, oats milk and even soaked cashews.

Wheat

Wheat is not only off limits to people with celiac disease who have to lead a gluten free life but for some who are allergic to wheat specifically. Pasta, bread and many other kinds of foods are made up of wheat, but you can opt for tapioca or rice flour which is also used to make such items.

Best Substitutes for Common Food Allergens

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