HOW TO BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

“It's fine to celebrate success, but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure,” Bill Gates said. We always shower praise on those who have triumphed. Very rarely do we examine all the times the successful people have failed, and analyze how they turned their “luck” around. In this tip, you will understand how to turn failure into success and bounce back with more fervour.

1. A SUCCESSFUL MINDSET: If you’re striving to achieve anything then failure is inevitable. “Whenever you’re trying a new experiment, whether it’s a new job, a new product, a new hobby, a new boyfriend or girlfriend–whatever it is–you need to give some thought to what is your strategy and which are the possible ways to achieve it. Do you have any plan B or plan C if plan A fails? What will you do if nothing works out...and how to minimise the losses as well as taking advantage of the opportunities that you have. Assessing your opportunities and threats to success is very important. When a newly wedded girl comes to stay with her In laws, she might need to have a number of ways in her kitty to make her place in the new household rather than just stick to a few traditional ones. If one technique doesn't work, try something else. Disaster strikes when creativity is not given a place and failure was not factored in. Feeling helpless doesn't add upto success. Optimism is what people need to bounce back with.

2. LEARN AND IMPROVE WITH EACH FAILURE: Failure is just an opportunity to learn and improve. It’s a teaching moment that should be analyzed with a practical, clear mind. It helps to see mistakes as stepping stones to learning and improving and using it as an opportunity to bounce back. Every person should behave like a scientist with a mind open to exploring, assessing, making mistakes and changing. Mistakes must be embraced as being part of the process of success. If we don’t make mistakes it means that we’re not trying, and if we’re not trying then we’re not learning and getting better. Your self-worth should not rest on perfectionism, but rather value your ability to accept and learn from your mistakes. Not everyone is willing to admit when they’re wrong, which can hamper progress and relationships. When Meena and Arun started dating each other, they didn't know each other well and tried to impress each other in ways that was not working out well for both of them. It was very frustrating for them to see that their relationship was not working out. In counselling, they realised that they were not asking what each can do to impress the other. Meena told Arun that she would like to be taken out to plays and theatre by her future partner and Arun told Meena that he would like to take weekend trips to nearby destinations to get to know his partner well. When they both started doing what the other appreciated, they got to know each other better and relationship started blooming. Thus Arun and Meena assessed the situation, were open to discussion and found an amicable solution instead of thinking of their previous efforts as failure and giving up. 

3. LOVE YOUR CRITICS: How do you feel when your work gets criticised repeatedly by your boss, manager or your husband. It mighty be hurtful and demeaning to hear critical feedback, but if many people are saying the same things about your work or behaviour, then maybe it's time to give it a serious thought. When Saira was often told that she wasn't cooperative enough in team activities and tends to slacken and pass on work to other members, her mind started working. She had got the same comments in her previous organisations. She started seeing a grain of truth in this feedback and took steps to rectify complaints that stood out common in all the feedbacks and reworked her way back to become a sought after team member. Her next years' appraisal was better and got her an increment. Saira triumphed, because she knew how to learn from criticism.

4. ACCEPT FAILURE AS AN IMPORTANT PART OF LIFE: Shivani was heartbroken when her 15 year old perfect son started doing badly in exams. Her world fell apart when she came to know that he had secured 73% in 10th grade. She felt that she had failed as a parent and her son as she had not devoted enough time to her son as she was a working mother. In counselling, she was asked if she knew any parent who had never failed their kids and were always there for them. Shivani couldn't come up with any names of such mothers who had been perfect to the core. Yes, that's how real mothers are...you will fail sometimes and you will win sometimes. Every moment you are real with your child, you are succeeding as a mother. Accepting failure as a part of life and knowing that you gave it your best shot is good enough. There's magic in feeling genuine regret rather than overkilling guilt and shame. Own your failure openly, publicly, and you'll reap a harvest of forgiveness, trust, respect, and connection—the things you thought you'd get by succeeding. Ironic, isn't it?

5. GO WITH YOUR GUT: When you see a red flag, pay attention. How many times in life have you kicked yourself for not listening to that little voice in your head that says, “Something is wrong here”?. Preetam gave an interview with an organisation, going by their market reputation. Yet during the interview, he picked up feelings of dissonance within the company. After joining them, he realised that his gut was right..the company was going through major shuffle and policy changes, which were not working out for Preetam.

6. BE A PROBLEM SOLVER AND STAY CALM: In a crisis, people tend to get anxious. Maintaining a sense of Zen will not only allow you to think more clearly but will also set the tone for those around you. Kapil used to get tensed over small details. He realised that in the larger scheme of things they were really not that important. He focussed his energies on things that were more important for him to reach his monthly targets. This started calming him down.

7. FIND A SOLUTION: You need to figure out how to address and remedy the situation. Start by considering your end game — what’s the ultimate outcome you’d like to see? — and work backwards from there. Daya wanted to be a good father to his children. He wanted them to remember him as a gentle and loving father. He started working backwards and his daily actions and behaviours showed to his children that Daya was a loving father. He played with them, took them for cricket coaching, went swimming, shared personal success and failures and most of all listened to them when they had to say something.

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR MISTAKES AND FAILURES: If you screwed up, don’t make excuses — just apologise genuinely for any errors on your part. Remember, that no one is perfect and it's human to err. Prema was a caring mother. She had many dreams about her daughter and wanted her to do well in studies and be a well behaved child of the family. But when her daughter started showing disinterest in studies and marks started falling, Prema used to beat up her daughter in her anxiety to do well. In counselling Prema understood that her intentions were good, but the way she communicated were not helping the situation as Prema's daughter hated her mother and maintained distance. Prema owned up her mistakes and apologised for her errors to her daughter. She also took remedial action to be accepting of her daughter and gave her the space to make her own mistakes and learn from them. 

9. BECOME PROACTIVE: Don’t let a small mistake linger and turn into a bigger one. That’s not to say you should simply be reactive, but i f you know you did something wrong, deal with it right away. Say, for example, you stuck your foot in your mouth during an important business meeting and inadvertently offended your boss or a client. Acknowledge the gaffe, apologize and try to move on without beating yourself up. Remember that, “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

10. DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS AND FAILURES: Its important to have your own definition of both rather than how the world sees and defines success and failure. Find answers to questions like: How would you be behaving when you have succeeded, what must happen to feel successful, how will your life change when you are successful? Every person has a very different view and definition for success and making it your own definition can spell failure. Don't let the world tell you whether you have failed or succeeded. It's also excellent for self esteem and works as a protective shield from potential damage. 

So, next time there’s that misstep, mistake or misunderstanding, remember to take a deep breath and be your own best publicist by remaining calm, seeking the solution and seeing the challenge as an opportunity to lead and learn.









How To Bounce Back From Failure - Tips From A Pyschologist

Gallstones are solid deposits/stones of digestive fluids that form in the gall bladder. The size of these stones varies from person to person. While some people may develop only one stone in the bladder, others may develop multiple gallstones simultaneously.

Signs you must watch out for-

Abdominal pain
Pain in the back or between the shoulder blades
Vomiting and nausea
Heartburn
Bloating and indigestion
Change in bowel movement
Dark urine
Fever and chills
Rapid heartbeat
Yellowish skin and pale eyes (Jaundice)
These are the most common symptoms that a person with gallstones encounters. One should consult the doctor right away upon experiencing these symptoms. If ignored for long, these signs can aggravate and lead to further complications.

Complications that may arise from gallstones-
There are quite a few complications of gallstones, including the following-

Cholecystitis- when gallstones become stuck at the neck of the gallbladder, it causes inflammation.
Obstruction in the pancreatic duct- a gallstone blocking the pancreatic duct can cause pancreatitis followed by intense abdominal pain.
Blockage in the bile duct- if the gallstones create a blockage in your bile duct, the outcome may be an infection or jaundice.
Gallbladder cancer- people, who have a history of gallstones, are more likely to develop gallbladder cancer.
Treatment of Gallstones-
Gallstones can certainly be treated, if diagnosed early in time. To confirm the diagnosis, your doctor may perform a CT scan, X-ray, Ultrasound or an ERCP. Once the condition is diagnosed, your doctor will recommend a surgery to remove the stones in the gallbladder (known as Cholecystectomy). The preferred choice of surgery includes the following-

Laparoscopic removal- In most of the cases, the doctor adopts this minimally invasive approach to remove gallstones. First, he makes a small incision in the abdomen. He will then insert a tube-like instrument with an attached camera into the gallbladder to have a clear sight of the gallstones, and surgically remove them from the gallbladder.
Open surgery- This is performed under general anesthesia. During this procedure, a single, long incision of roughly 3-6 inches is made on the upper side of your right abdomen. The tissues and muscles are pulled back to divulge the gallbladder. The gallstones are then removed, and the incision stitched up. Open surgery is performed when laparoscopic surgery is not suitable for the patient.
Gallstones cannot be managed with just diet and medications. A surgery is usually needed to remove the stones and cure the patient. For Laparoscopic surgery, the rate of success is nearly over 95%. Identify the symptoms before it aggravates, and consult a doctor for treatment.

Gall Stones - Is Surgery The Only Treatment?

Most people know all about Asthma, how dangerous it is and most importantly, with the rising levels of pollution and irritants how people are getting affected by it all over the world. Just like famous events, incidents and festivals have their special date in the calendar, May 1 apart from being the International Labour Day, holds another significant stance worldwide. As it is celebrated as the World Asthma Day. This day marks the initiation of the Asthma awareness campaign worldwide.

Understanding Asthma in brief

Asthma is a long-term respiratory condition, in which the airways of the human system may unexpectedly and suddenly narrow, often in response to an allergen, cold air, exercise or emotional stress. Common symptoms include wheezing, shortness of breath, chest tightness, and coughing.

Why is Asthma Day important?

World Asthma Day is celebrated every year on the first Tuesday of May. This year it falls on 1st May. The day is celebrated to spread awareness about Asthma and how people all over the world can spread it amongst their families. Therefore to commemorate the event and educate the students in school and parents at home, World Asthma day was commenced. The aim of this campaign is to make people understand the types of Asthma that can affect them and immediate safety tips so as to ensure that the severity of the disease can be curtailed. 

Things to keep in mind about Asthma

All over the world, there are several people who do not opt for Asthma treatment and that proves to be a fatal mistake later on in life. Chronic Asthma disease can be easily prevented by a simple treatment in the initial stages. People who suffer from Asthma often face chronic attacks if they forget to carry their inhaler and different kinds of allergies are also very fatal for asthma people.

Things that can trigger Asthma in people

Dust 
Pollens
Gastroesophageal Reflux
Pet Dander
Certain foods 
Exposure to chemicals 
Excessive physical activity 
Stress 
39-50% Of Sinusitis patients have Asthma also 
Extremely cold conditions
Signs someone is suffering from Asthma 

Persistent coughing
Difficulty in breathing
Wheezing 
Tightness in chest
Diagnosis and severity are established by a simple air blowing test known as Spirometry.

Chest X-ray and Sinus X-ray Help 
Serum IgE a blood test tells about type and severity
Severe cases may require special blood test known as Arterial Blood Gases to look at blood oxygen and carbon dioxide.

Sheet anchor of therapy is the inhaled medication to dilate airway and to reduce inflammation. The dose being in microgram dose is harmless and delivered to the site of the problem.  New drugs known as Omalizumab and Benralizumab are approved for specific nonresponding patients with severe asthma.

Prevent asthma from being harmful

Asthma is a chronic disease can stay for the rest of someone's life. So on this World Asthma Day make sure that you know how it can be treated and prevent the disease from harming someone you love. Here are some treatment tips.

First get to know more about asthma and become a partner with the doctor to carry out treatment for a long time period.

Be aware of the allergens that may trigger asthma and prevent them from coming in contact with the person.

Make sure to keep the doctor updated regarding the status of a patient's condition and for any sign of potential risk.

If a loved one is suffering then ensure that they lead their life as per the guidelines shared by the doctor, in order to prevent any risky situation. 

So here are the important things that you should be knowing about asthma. And, in case you notice any of the symptoms mentioned above, one should immediately contact their doctor. On this World Asthma Day be aware of the disease and keep the people safe who are suffering from it. Stay Healthy!

World Asthma Day - Spreading Awareness Is Important!

Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

There are days when you wake up but you don’t want to move out of the bed. When your alarm goes off and you open your eyes feeling groggy and disoriented.Times when you accept defeat and stop moving towards what you want to achieve in life. These are just indicators of being low on motivation and lacking will power to chnage things. It’s more psychological than physical. Follow these simple tips, to come out of your cocoon and boost your willpower. 

Try these four ways to up your willpower.

1) Meditate - Meditation is the key to unleashing your powers, especially willpower. Practicing mindfulness, even for few minutes a day can help in boosting your willpower.

2) Exercise - The magic pill of exercise is another best way to boost your willpower. It is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, at least three times a week to ensure that you feel fitter, reduce your anxiety levels and boost your overall willpower to achieve bigger and better things in life.

3) Hold yourself accountable - That’s one of the best ways to boost your willpower. If you hold yourself accountable in your own life, if you know that those reasons of not getting out of the bed are mere excuses, then you would certainly increase your willpower.

4) Set Goals - One of the reasons why people experience a faltering in their will power is the fact that they don’t set their goals. Setting definitive targets is a must.You must ensure that the goal is set with measurable quantities, is specific, attainable, relevant and timely. All of this will certainly help you in enhancing your willpower.

If you have any further questions, ask me by clicking on 'consult'.

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Top 4 Ways You Can Increase Your Willpower

Anal herpes and anal warts are sexually transmitted diseases. These both diseases affect the genitals. As these are sexually transmitted diseases, these are transmitted through sexual contact.

Anal Herpes:

It is an infection caused by herpes virus, which is caused by the sore or blisters formed around the anus. This infection is caused by the herpes simplex virus (HSV) type 1 or 2 viruses.
The symptoms of anal herpes include red bumps or white blisters, itching and pain around the anal area, development of ulcer at the site of blisters, a coating that covers the ulcers ruptures or is bleeding, any change in the bowel habit.
Treatment

Antiviral therapy is one of the primary treatment for anal herpes. The virus responsible mainly for herpes is herpes simplex virus type II. Antiviral medications are given to patients, these medicines fight the virus. The symptoms of herpes are reduced with this therapy.
Regular use of antiviral medication is referred to as suppressive therapy. As the name suggests, people on suppressive therapy, reduce the risk of passing the infection to their sexual partner.
In severe anal herpes, the doctor might give intravenous antiviral therapy to control the infection.However, the herpes virus cannot be cured as it is considered a lifelong infection. The virus stays in the nerve cells for lifelong and is inactive for long periods of time. It only outbreaks when it is triggered by an externalfactor such as illness, stress, or sun exposure.
Prevention
As anal herpes is transmitted through sexual contact, one can lower the risk of this disease. Safety measures can be used are:

Wear a condom or use barrier protection during every sexual intercourse, including anal or oral sex.
Reduce the number of sexual partners.
If one maintains monogamy, the risk is minimal for transmitting anal herpes.
One should abstain from sex altogether, if possible.
Anal Warts:
Anal warts are small warts that occur around the anus. Another name for anal wart is condyloma acuminate. In many cases, anal warts don t cause any pain or discomfort. But, they cause irritation when they grow in size and might be itchy and/or bleed. However, if there are no symptoms seen, people suffering from anal wart might not even know that they have warts. Anal warts might occur only at a spot or even spread to different parts of the genitals such as buttocks, anus, and inner thighs over a period of time.

Symptoms
The anal warts are small bumps initially, a size of the head of a pin, which is not even noticed. However, as they grow, they can develop to a size of a cauliflower-likean appearance, when several warts are clustered together to form a huge lump. These warts are peach colored and the color may vary from yellow, light brown, or pink and it might even blend with the skin color. Usually the anal warts are without any pain or discomfort, however, other rare occurring symptoms are itching, discharge from the anus, or bleeding. Anal warts in women might appear on vagina, vulva, or at the cervix, whereas in men it can develop on penis, scrotum, groin area, or thighs.

Treatment
Topical medication can be used to treat anal warts, such as imiquimod, podofilox, podophyllum, etc. Another treatment of anal wart that depends upon the location and severity of the condition:

Cryotherapy
Electrocautery
Laser treatments
Surgery can be recommended for larger warts that do not respond to medications.

Anal Herpes & Warts - Possible Ways They Can Be Treated!

Becoming a parent is one of the greatest joys in life. It is a magical feeling to hold your child in your arms for the first time. However, as your child grows up, you will notice certain behavioural changes that can be difficult to control or withstand. Temper tantrums are common in children. A child uses tantrums to vent frustration and anger, which he/she feels toward a person or a situation.

While such temper tantrums may lead you to lose your temper, remember that children do not have the same emotional maturity as that of an adult. Therefore, rather than being strict to your child, here are some ways to deal with temper tantrums.

1. Don t try to calm your child: Temper tantrums are often attention seeking in nature. Therefore, you will make it worse if you try too hard to calm your child while he/she is throwing such a tantrum. Instead, choose to ignore the behaviour and go about doing your job. However, keep an eye out to check that your child does not do anything to harm himself/herself or others during this time. You should also verbally clarify that such behaviour is not acceptable.

2. Speak softly but with resolve: Many parents seem to think that shouting at their kids helps against temper tantrums. It does not. In fact, the more your child shouts, the more softly you should interact with them. When you shout you give your child the opportunity to shout - they do this so that they can be heard. Instead, be stern. Sometimes offering a choice can help your child feel as if he/she is in control of the situation.

3. Empathize with your child: Seeing the world from your toddler s perspective is no easy task. This is why parents often think that a temper tantrum is meaningless. However, in most cases, a child s temper tantrum is rooted in the inability to perform a task or articulate his/her wishes. As a parent, you need to devise alternate forms of communication with your child, so that he/she can express feelings better.

4. Give them some space: Rather than scolding your child for throwing a tantrum, let him/her express their frustration. This is similar to the concept of adults venting undesirable feelings. However, tell your kids to express frustration in a non-destructive way. This approach helps your child become emotionally stronger, as they learn to deal with sadness and anger in their own way, without requiring support from elders.

You need to understand that all children throw temper tantrums at one time or another. How you handle the situation determines how your child will deal with frustration and sorrow in later parts of their life.

Parenting Tips To Tackle Temper Tantrums In Children!

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