Role of relationship problems in depression and suicides - 
Almost everyday we read about people ending their lives by committing suicides from celebrities to common man to even children . Although this is not permitted in any religion and there is a legal debate on whether it should be legalized, the fact remains that people are driven towards this unfortunate step. Let's take a look at the common reasons for suicides to become so very common.

1) Lack of intimacy- We see that although we are surrounded by people most of people are having friends only on Facebook. Even among the people we interact everyday nobody wants to open up with anyone or allow you to open up with them.The fact that you are surrounded by people who don't share themselves with you intimately starts pulling your mind downwards. Work colleagues are bothered only about work, family is only bothered about the income you are generating, partners are obsessed with how much you can spend on them, friends are occupied with what benefits you can share with them. Therefore all in all, despite having all relationships, people feel left out and alone like as if their inner self has been left unwanted and uncared of. The monotony of mechanical life hastens the culmination of this abuse into drastic steps like suicide.

2) High demands- People are often left to fend with high demands from them from their social circle. Many people cannot attempt this and some who attempt are not able to make it. This leaves them with a feeling of failure which is often frowned and looked down upon whether it is a student or a professional. It is no surprise that today even below 10 years olds are successfully attempting suicides.

3) Inappropriate planning- Planning is a key necessity for successful results whether it is financial or relationships. but unfortunately many people are unable to obtain the correct know how which will enable to implement their plans successfully.

4) Inability to cope- Many people plan to do things but are unable to cope with the harsh realities that come with the plans. To some it may be unseen to some unbearable. So although they set out on doing something the journey is not what they had expected.

5) Lack of results- Sometimes although everything is planned well, executed well and completed well it does not fetch us the rewards that may seem appropriate to the level of efforts. This is something that is very difficult to deal for most people and is a result of many unfortunate casualties.

6) Lack of desire-It is very important to have something to look forward to in life. But unfortunately in an age where drinking water and using the toilet cost s money many people cannot think of having something to look forward to and hence this unfortunate step.

Therefore, you have to be very prudent in what we are doing today because we can never predict which way our lives may go and even importantly which way you may yourself go based purely on circumstances beyond our control dependent on the choices we make today or others make for us. Although suicide is not a sensible solution to any problem it does remain a common reality. If you are feeling suicidal please remember to seek help.

Please feel free to consult me privately for further assistance.

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Health Tip - Role of Relationship Problems in Depression and Suicides

Do you know why some people accomplish more and generally are much happier in their lives?
 
The field of Positive Psychology explains this. Research says, one of the signature strengths that such people have is "Gratitude. Gratitude makes them take better care of themselves physically and mentally. It also makes people engage in more proactive and healthy way. It promotes the motivation for exercise, healthy diet and willingness to wriggle out of any negative situations in life. It helps boost your immune system.  Since it makes you more optimistic and alert, you cope better with stress and feel healthier.

How to Have An Attitude of Gratitude?

1) Be Mindful of What You Have - Being thankful for very small things actually bring a great amount of joy. Have gratitude for small things like sunlight, rain, flowers, a cup of tea, a caring spouse, a child's laughter. It gives us the resilience to cope with tougher situations.

2) Keep a Gratitude Journal - Every night before going to bed, write down "What was the best thing that happened to you that day.  It fosters better sleep and a sense of well being and satisfaction.

3) Reframe Challenging Situations - It's not the situation but our perception of the situation that makes it challenging. You can reframe your reactions and respond by saying that "I may have a very demanding boss, but I have become more organized, patient. It will help you to attend to your work and be cheerful.

4) Practice saying Thank You - It's very simple. When you buy a bus ticket, just smile and say 'Thank You. Feel the first raindrops on your face and smile in gratitude for all the life it brings.

5) Focus your attention outwards - According to Emmons, a US psychology professor, people who are more aware of the positives in their lives tend to focus their attention outside of themselves. They feel complete, satisfied and fulfilled in their lives and are capable of helping the less fortunate ones.

If you have any questions, please click on "Consult Privately.

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5 Reasons Why Some People Accomplish More And Are Much Happier

Are you a 'What-If' person? Kill anxiety in 4 easy ways

Thinking about dangers and risks is a normal phenomenon, it helps us to stay alert and to become a good problem solver. It’s only when worrying gets out of a person’s control, it turns into a problem. If a person is constantly preoccupied with “what-if " and keeps imagining worst-case scenarios, worry actually turns into the cause for high pulse rate, insomnia, poor mental and physical health. 

Here are 4 simple steps to cope with anxiety and worry.

1. Breathing technique: The first thing to do when you get anxious is to take deep breath. Deep breathing is a powerful anxiety-reducing technique because it activates the body’s relaxation response. Try slowly inhaling to a count of 5, filling your belly first and then your chest, gently holding your breath to a count of 5, and slowly exhaling to a count of 5 and repeat several times.

2. Accept that you’re anxious: Remember anxiety is just a feeling, like any other feeling, by reminding yourself that anxiety is simply an emotional reaction, you can start to accept it. Acceptance is critical because trying to eliminate anxiety often worsens it. But accepting your anxiety doesn’t mean liking it or resigning yourself to a miserable existence. It just means you would benefit by accepting reality as it is – and in that moment, reality means 'anxiety' you are feeling.

3. Question your worries. When people are anxious, most of the time their brains start coming up with all sorts of unrealistic ideas, which most likely will never occur. To avoid unnecessary worry, one should ask himself / herself a few questions like:
- Is there a reason to believe something is wrong?
- What evidence is there that something is wrong?
- If the worst possible outcome happens, what would be so bad about that?
- What are the options I can use to handle the situation at hand?


4. Focus on right now: When people are anxious, they are usually obsessing about something that might occur in the future. It is important that when a person becomes anxious, he/she takes a deep breath and pay attention to what’s happening right now, around them. Even if something serious is happening, focusing on the present moment will improve your ability to manage the situation.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

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Are you a 'What-If' person? Kill anxiety in 4 easy ways

Anxiety is a very normal emotion, which gives rise to feelings of nervousness every now and then. An anxiety disorder is a serious medical condition in which people experience a high degree of distress and mental trauma, which causes difficulties in leading a normal life. People suffering from this medical condition experience high levels of anxiety and nervousness almost all the time. Here are the symptoms that indicate you're suffering from anxiety disorder.

1. Excessive worry - This condition persists if you worry about the day to day activities a bit too much on a regular basis. It is identified when you start taking too much stress about very petty things, which tends to affect you in an adverse manner. A noticeable sign of excessive worry can be too much fatigue.

2. Sleep problems - Problems falling asleep at the right time and problems in maintaining a sound sleep are two signs that indicate you have an anxiety disorder.

3. Irrational fears - This symptom is not generalized; instead, it is specific and subjective in relation to a particular thing or situation. The fears that are experienced under this category are sudden and unexpected in nature and there is no fixed rationale behind these fears.

4. Muscle tension - Muscle discomfort and pain is one of the leading physiological causes of an anxiety disorder. The pain felt is chronic and pervasive, and is very common among people facing situations of anxiety. If you are exposed to constant periods of anxiety, you will experience fatigue, muscle pains and unwillingness to work.

5. Chronic indigestion - Problems related to the digestive system are also a sign of anxiety disorder. In this case, you may face constant digestive problems accompanied by a common disorder called IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome). IBS refers to an anxiety situation in the digestive tract, which is characterized by stomach aches, cramping, bloating, gas, constipation, and/or diarrhea.

Apart from the above-mentioned symptoms, other symptoms of an anxiety disorder include stage fright, self- consciousness, panic attacks, memory flashbacks, perfectionism, compulsive behaviors, self- doubt, and such others.



How to know if you have an anxiety disorder?

If people understood the benefits of laughter and it could be packaged and sold in bottles, then it would sell the most. Laughter and humour is contagious and easy to  make and use. It has many therapeutic benefits besides just enjoying a good joke. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. Laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. 

A. Laughter is good for your health:
1.Laughter relaxes the whole body. A good, hearty laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up to 45 minutes after.
2.Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your resistance to disease.
3.Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve pain.
4.Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack and other cardiovascular problems. 

B. The link between laughter and mental health:
1.Laughter dissolves distressing emotions. You can’t feel anxious, angry, or sad when you’re laughing. You will feel lighter, happier and confident.
2.Laughter helps you relax and recharge. It reduces stress and increases energy, enabling you to stay focused and accomplish more. It has the capacity for a person to be in touch with the present and bounce back faster from problematic situations.
3.Humor shifts the perspective, allowing you to see situations in a less serious light. You will be able to see your own mistakes as errors of judgement, learn from them and move on. You will feel less anxiety and panic reducing your heart rate and muscle tensions.

Shared laughter is one of the most effective tools for keeping relationships fresh and exciting. All emotional sharing builds strong and lasting relationship bonds, but sharing laughter and play also adds joy, vitality, and resilience. And humor is a powerful and effective way to heal resentments, disagreements, and hurts. Laughter unites people during difficult times.

C. Humour improves your Social Relationships
Incorporating more humor and play into your daily interactions can improve the quality of your love relationships— as well as your connections with co-workers, family members, and friends. Using humor and laughter in relationships allows you to:
1.Be more spontaneous. Humor gets you out of your head and away from your troubles.
2.Let go of defensiveness. Laughter helps you forget judgments, criticisms, and doubts.
3.Release inhibitions. Your fear of holding back and holding on are set aside.
4.Express your true feelings. Deeply felt emotions are allowed to rise to the surface. Its easier for others to take constructive feedback when sandwiched between something light and positive. 

D. Making opportunities to laugh together:
1.Watch a funny movie or TV show.
2.Go to a comedy club.
3.Read the funny pages.
4.Seek out funny people.
5.Share a good joke or a funny story.
6.Check out your bookstore’s humor section.
7.Host game night with friends.
8.Play with a pet.
9.Go to a “laughter yoga” class.
10.Fool around with children.
11.Do something silly.
12.Make time for fun activities (e.g. bowling, picnics, games) 

However, it is important to keep in mind that you don’t laugh at someone or in their absence. Don’t resort to sarcasm and witticism, which is not clean humor and showing sensitivity towards other people’s sentiments. So take out your laughter arsenal and get ready to shoot.








LAUGHTER: THE BEST MEDICINE

While some people see tears as a sign of weakness, for others crying is a crucial way of dealing with grief. Though as children we re told not to cry and to  keep a hold  of our emotions, letting go of a few tears can help alleviate grief and emotional distress. 

Here are a few reasons crying could be a good idea when dealing with loss.

Crying can stimulate the release of endorphins: Crying cleanses the mind of negative emotions and allows you to express your emotions. Crying can be described as a reaction to pain and in order to control pain, the body releases endorphins. Endorphins are also known as happy hormones as they block the transmission of pain signals and create a sense of contentment. These chemicals can take a little time to have an effect and hence in most cases, you will notice an improvement in your mood after a good cry.
Crying elevates the mood: Crying can help reduce your body s manganese levels. A higher than normal manganese level can heighten anxiety, irritability, tiredness and emotional disturbances. By lowering manganese levels, the brain is left with enough space for happier emotions and hence crying can help elevate a person s mood.
Crying stimulates the body s parasympathetic nervous system: The parasympathetic nervous system controls a number of functions including heart rate. Crying can stimulate this system and trigger a state of relaxation. For this reason, you may feel sleepy after crying. This gives your body time to relax and deal with the problem at hand with a calmer mind.
Crying helps deal with stress: A stressful experience or emotional situation can cause a build-up of stress hormones known as cortisol. As the levels of cortisol increase in the body, it goes into flight or fight mode as an automatic response to stress. Crying reduces the cortisol levels and helps relieve tension and stress almost immediately.
Crying is cathartic: Every day we are exposed to conflicts and stressful situations that can build up into resentments and leave a person feeling anxious and depressed. Sometimes, giving vent to emotions and crying can help release these pent-up feeling and heap cleanse the mind of these negative emotions. Crying also allows us to open ourselves up to the people around and can improve the levels of intimacy between them. In this way, it can help a person become part of a community.

Crying - Can it Help You Overcome Sadness?

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