We have a tendency to be our own worst critics. This affects your self-esteem that in turn affects how you live your life. Self-esteem can be defined as how a person feels about himself or herself and his or her abilities. Here are a few tips that could help you boost your self-esteem.

Make the right comparisons: It is human nature to judge yourself in comparison to other factors. However, comparing yourself to others is never a good idea. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses. While one person may be great at outdoor sports, art may be another s strong suit. Find your own strengths. If you must compare, make a comparison on how you have progressed. If you like writing, look at how your style has evolved. Similarly, if you like a sport, look at the improvements you have made.
Set realistic goals: Whether its weight loss or career, it is important to set realistic and attainable goals. This should never be set in relation to another person. For example, setting a goal to get a promotion faster than your friend is a bad goal. Instead, set a timeline by when you want to reach the next step of your career. Ensure that these goals are realistic. You may have peers who have turned entrepreneurs but if you know that you do not have the necessary financial backing available, setting a goal to start up your own company may not be a good idea. Instead, if you do want to set up your own firm set a goal for the amount of money you need to put aside.
Focus on things you can control: There are some things we can control and others that we cannot. Do not focus on the latter. For example, you have little control over the education you received as a child. However, you do have control over the training and education you want to receive now. If you feel that you need to learn something more, take steps towards it. Merely saying that you did not go to a top school will not help.
Celebrate the small Stuff: Even small victories need to be celebrated. For a socially conscious person, simply going out for a cup of coffee with someone else is a victory. Similarly, booking online tickets could be a victory for a technologically challenged person. Celebrate these small things in life and you will soon be celebrating more things than dwelling on things you feel bad about.

Self Esteem - Ways You Can Enhance It!

What is Addiction?

Addiction is a condition in which individual engages in using a substance or seeking a behaviour which leads to rewarding effects in the brain and it reinforce the individual to repeat the using or seeking behaviour again and again. Addiction develops gradually over a period of time and due to the repetition of same pleasure seeking pattern individual become physically and psychologically dependent on the substance or to any other object at the center of addiction.

People can get addicted to many substances like, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, solvents, etc. In case of these substances, physical and mental dependency both can occur. There are other objects and behaviours which also activate brain reward system in the same way and can make people dependent on them, like gambling, shopping, videogames, watching pornography, etc. But in case of these objects or behaviours, psychological dependency can be more prominent.

It has been seen that there are lots of other mental problems found among individuals suffering from any kind of addiction, like anxiety, depression, personality disorders, psychosis, etc. Individual who is addicted to a substance or an object or behaviour indulge into compulsive pattern of seeking the same inspite of their detrimental consequences. Consequences of addiction can be seen on person s health, personal life, occupational life and social life. Addiction can lead to severe unmanageability in one s life.

Especially when it comes to substances, like alcohol, nicotine or any kind of drugs, we must understand how the tolerance level of the brain develops? Tolerance develops when an individual no longer responds to a substance in the way he/she did at first. So, it takes a higher dose of the substance to achieve the same effect as when the individual first used it. This is why people with substance use disorders use more and more of a drug to get the  high  feeling that they seek.



A blog posted by an alcoholic:

 I always wished I could drink like other people. But I never could. I thought it was the third drink that got me into trouble. If I only had two, then I d be fine. Thing is, once I put that first drink to my lips, I could no longer accurately predict what would happen next. I might go home, but I might not.

You d think if I made it home, then my drinking was a success. Wrong! If I made it home after two drinks, there was an insatiable need raging within me and I was gonna take it out on you.  After all, you re the reason why I had to come home. I would punish my family by being silent, or mean, or emotionally distant.

Looking back, it was never intentional. I didn t purposely choose not to go home.  I didn t leave the house with a suitcase containing a fresh set of clothes, a tooth brush and my cosmetics. Seriously, I was only going out for  a few. 

If anybody can relate to this or can understand this, he or she can understand tolerance, powerlessness and unmanageability.

How to recover from addiction?

To be an addict can t be anybody s choice, but recovery can be one s choice. The first key step to come out of your addiction is developing acceptance. For a person to admit their powerlessness in addiction to drugs or alcohol or to any other object at the center of addiction is a monumental first step to recovery. Powerlessness means the person do not have any control over his/her use of substance. Powerlessness may indicate weakness and helplessness; some may think it fosters a victim mentality. Acceptance starts developing when a person admit that he or she is powerless over the substance or object at the center of addiction and their life have become unmanageable because of that.

Addiction is a disease and recovery is not an easy process. Individuals who are already into the grip of addiction need to seek help. One cannot go through the journey of recovery alone. There is a myth that addiction is a habit and one can get out of it if he or she has the  Will Power . It s actually not true. To get out of the disease you need to develop  Skill Power , like skills to understand your physical and psychological mechanisms when it comes to the substance or the object of addictions, skills to handle cravings, skills to be assertive enough to manage social cues, skills to deal with day to day life stressors, etc. And in this process of developing skills and maintaining your recovery you need help of professionals.

A complete treatment program has three important approaches. First one is psychopharmacological (medicine) approach, second is psychotherapeutic approach and the third one is the 12 step program of alcohol/narcotics anonymous. A combination of psychotherapies along with the basic essence of 12 step program can bring greater outcomes in individual suffering from addiction.

Understanding Addiction And The Key Steps To Recover From It!

The activity of delaying or putting off something is known as procrastination. Even the best individuals battle with it consistently. However, some people accomplish something that the majority of us do not- they push past it. They do not permit it to influence their work. They develop brilliant and beneficial techniques to break past mental obstructions and remain productive. Here are a few ways with which you can beat procrastination:

Try to start: Starting something can be very difficult. However, in case that you can get over that part, you will have some level of energy. Even your brain will probably goad you to continue dealing with the task. This happens because of a mental phenomenon called the Zeigarnik impact. It says that unfinished tasks will probably stay in your memory. This is exactly why planned things and to-do lists consistently appear in your mind until you finish them.
Separate huge tasks into smaller assignments: Enormous tasks can frighten you, so you put them off. By taking that huge task and separating it into smaller assignments, you can decrease your burden make a start. This could include concentrating on one part of the research to begin with.
Ask yourself  why? : It is easier to inspire yourself to accomplish something you value. In case you are attempting to complete something, why not spend a couple of minutes asking yourself precisely why you need to do it and why it is so important to you. Weighing out the positives and negatives of the task and its benefits for you, can make you decide and perform better.
Attempt to take a break: For those who procrastinate out of having worked too much, it does not mean you have to complete the task at once. This is known as the "sunk cost bias." The "sunk cost bias" influences players, speculators, and even a procrastinator. They feel that the task will need to be completed now and cannot be completed in the future. In some cases, a task simply does not mean you have to work on it more and more after hours.
Go easy on yourself: To beat procrastination, you should be strict with yourself. However, that is not what science says. In case that you have procrastinated till now, you will probably begin on time going ahead. You need to show yourself some sympathy for your previous laziness instead of thrashing yourself about it.
Self-control is an important quality many successful individuals have. Having self-control permits you to carefully understand why you are procrastinating and can likewise, work towards it. When you understand why you are doing so, it will be easier for you to make a plan to beat it. This will allow you to see the underlying cause of your problem as well.

Procrastination - 5 Ways You Can Beat It!

Borderline personality disorder is connected with the mental health of the patient and is usually seen in the way the patient perceives himself or herself. This has a deep impact on the brain and overall functioning of the patient. It leads to problems in the personal life and relationships of the patient. These problems are usually triggered by a fear of abandonment. Let us explore the signs and symptoms of this condition to understand it in a better manner:

1. Discouraging Attitude: One of the earliest signs of this disorder includes having an attitude that is very discouraging. This attitude may remain limited to the patient or may extend to the people around him or her.

2. Self-Identity: This disorder has a marked impact on the self-identity of the patient. There is usually a rapid decline in the way the patient may view himself or herself. A self-deprecating attitude will usually be seen among patients suffering from this condition, where the self-esteem hits an all-time low along with low self-confidence.

3. Relationships: Whether it the patient's personal relationships, family, friends or work based relationships, there will be a sharp decline in the quality of interactions that the patient indulges in, due to this disorder. The interactions and dynamics of all relationships will usually take on an intense turn as the patient will have varied unfounded concerns that come from the fear of abandonment. This usually stems from some form of childhood trauma triggered by parental separation or loss.

4. Impulsive Behavior: Patients suffering from this disorder will also display impulsive behavior that may lead to gambling, and other risky behavior. This kind of behavior can usually lead to accidents and losses as well as further lowering of the sense of self-esteem that the patient may experience. Also, abuse and binge eating are some of the symptoms of this kind of behavior.

5. Suicidal threats: There may be threats of suicide by patients who are suffering from this disorder. This usually happens because most of these patients end up feeling lost and empty, which makes them think that their life and all its activities are completely futile. If you happen to meet someone who consistently talks about how useless he or she is and how nothing in life seems to have a purpose, then you may want to recommend this person to a psychiatrist as these are the earliest signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder.

6. Mood swings: The patient will also suffer from intense mood swings. These could last up to several days and even weeks. These mood swings could go from happiness to severe anxiety and even shame.

Signs and Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

India is all set to celebrate its 75th Independence Day on 15th August 2021. This day marks the Independence of our country from the British. So, every year the Independence Day is celebrated throughout the country with great fervour. So, this Independence Day, let's take a pledge and abide by the fact that we will take up small measures to restore our health. Below are few healthy habits that we must follow.

Freedom to be ourselves: By having the freedom to be ourselves, basically refers to the idea of having certain choices without being bound by any kind of limits, social stigma or pressure. People should have the independence to do anything that they want to do. Going deep into it, it is basically having the freedom to grow and attain the level that people want to achieve, in an unrestricted manner. This would only be possible if one is allowed to make experiments with their choices.

Constant progress towards a fulfilling life: Today s world is filled with a variety of stress. We are always in a hurry to catch up with our goals and meeting our targets. So, in pursuit of all this, there is every possibility that we might lose out to make time for ourselves and our relationships.

So, this Independence Day, we must take a pledge and abide by the fact that we will take up small measures to restore our health and rejuvenate our relationships and this constant progress will enable us to achieve something big in life. Now let us talk about certain healthy habits that we must follow in order to be free from diseases or health problems.

Healthy breakfast: A nutritious and healthy breakfast is of utmost importance as it provides us with the much-needed energy to carry out our activities throughout the day. A healthy breakfast is one which includes fruits, eggs, a portion of oats or barley to have a great mix of protein, fat, vitamins, minerals and carbohydrates
A good night s sleep: Research has shown that a sufficient sleep at night is essential towards getting an efficient mind, as it helps to bring forth improvements in cognitive skills, sharpens memory and keep gastrointestinal disorders away. Ideal sleep hours for women should be 8-9 hours and for men, 7-8 hours should be ideal.
Fluid intake is important: Drinking 8-10 liters of water every day carry great benefits for one s health and well-being. Water helps to remove toxins, makes the skin glow and people don t feel dehydrated.
Exercising daily is good for you: Staying fit and healthy in this competitive world is a must. Fitness cannot be attained only having healthy food but doing exercise on a regular basis is also essential. So make sure to make time for working on your cardio, abs, legs, chest, so that on an overall basis, you are fit and fine. Walking, jogging, cycling and doing normal free hand exercises can help in attaining good health.
Avoid long gaps in-between meals: Generally, we tend to have three big meals, breakfast, lunch and dinner. In the midst of these three, the normal gap is of 5 to 6 hours, which often leads to a drop in our blood sugar level. Ideally, which should be avoided and in place, a habit of eating something healthy after every 2 or 3 hours should be adopted.
Restore your health with a cup of Green Tea: Green Tea has great health benefits as it is filled with antioxidants, which ensures brain to function better and thus lower the chances of getting plagued by cancer. It also makes the body system free from toxins. One cup of green tea in the morning or taking it even at the end of the day is ideal. Make sure not to have more than 2-3 cups every day as it can lead to stomach problems, restlessness and insomnia.
Wash your hands frequently: A number of diseases and health ailments spread from unhygienic habits and that is something which is in our control. We should encourage people around us, such as kids, household help, relatives to wash their hands from time to time. This will help us in controlling the spread of diseases.
The above-mentioned habits are only indicative, however, there are many more that we should adapt according to our health requirements.

Independence Day Special - Let's Take A Pledge To Stay Healthy & Embrace Healthy Habits!

No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

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