The brain is not a stagnant realm fed with a granted quota of intelligence and memory at birth. It is always in a state of flux. Exercising your brain in various ways accelerates its ability to perform better. It is in your hands to have a sharper take on situations and occurrences. Playing games that require brainstorming, solving quizzes, crosswords or playing chess makes you feel rejuvenated and tired at the same time; the reason being activated brain cells. A healthy brain will affect your life decisions positively and you probably will think rightly before you leap.

Tips to exercise those brain cells:

Meditate and calm your mind: Ten minutes of meditation each day can help you get over anxiety. When your mind is at peace you think out pros and cons with enhanced insight. This composure reflects in each of your actions. Meditation demands your brain to be quiet when it is accustomed to work; you therefore have greater control over it.
Music can improve your brain abilities: Music is the best antidote for a sloppy brain. Music excites the neurons healing a bruised memory. It gifts you with clarity of thought. Apart from listening to music one must try to play a musical instrument. Teaching yourself things puts your mind through a strict regimen of constructive activities.
Take out time to learn a new language: We are paralyzed the minute our brain gives up. Due to several external and internal reasons each one of us is likely to suffer from cognitive disorders on being subjected to extreme pressure or shock. Trying to learn a new language motivate your brain cells to have a wider vocabulary, which further restricts your chances of brain damage.  
Mental mathematics could better your intelligence: Calculators, computers and phones are ridding us of our ability to compute individual data. Computation and consolidation of data helps your mind to work faster with precision. So, you now know those lessons on mental mathematics in childhood were actually the key to a well rounded brain. 
Think of something novel: The more the number of neurons the merrier is your brain. Take pains to direct your mind on a novel track. Thinking beyond what is given and expected helps your brain grow new neurons. It builds up your creativity letting you discover more of your capabilities.

5 Tips To Help You Exercise Your Brain!

For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a type of personality disorder characterized by an ongoing pattern of varying moods, self-image and behaviour. This often results in impulsive actions and problems in relationships and at work. You may experience intense episodes of various emotions like anger, depression and anxiety that may last for a few hours to a few days.

Diagnosis of BPD
If you experience the following 10 symptoms for a long time or if they have had a huge impact on your daily life, you may say that you are suffering from BPD:

Feeling of being abandoned. You feel that people may abandon you and are constantly worried about that. You would do anything to stop it.
Frequent mood swings. You experience intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days. E.g. You suddenly start feeling low and depressed after feeling very happy and confident for a while.
Lack of identity. You don t know who you are and do not have a strong sense of your being.
Unable to sustain relationships. You find it very hard to retain relationships and make new ones.
You feel empty from within all the time.
Make impulsive decisions and show sudden reactions. You do things to harm yourself like binge eating, drug abuse or driving dangerously.
You inflict pain on yourself or have suicidal feelings.
You have anger issues which are very difficult to control.
You get paranoid or dissociate when you re stressed.
You experience all your emotions very intensely be it anger, happiness or sadness.
Self-Care - How can you help yourself?
If you start feeling overwhelmed, focus on one feeling at a time. It will help channelize your energy and thoughts into finding a solution for that emotion. Different therapies help different people at different times. You are the best judge to decide what benefits you the most.

Follow these tips to get through the various emotions that you may experience.

When you are angry and frustrated
Rip a newspaper
Hit a pillow
Listen to your favourite music
Go for a walk or do some vigorous exercise
When you are depressed and lonely
Wrap yourself in a blanket and watch your favourite movie or TV show.
Write all the negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear the paper.
Use positive affirmations to comfort yourself.
Cuddle a pillow/pet/soft toy
When you are tensed and anxious 
Try to shift your focus to something else like music, yoga or meditation.
Take a deep breath, use relaxation techniques and focus on your breaths.
Take a warm bath to help soothe your mood.
When you want to harm yourself
Rub ice over the parts where you want to hurt yourself.
Take a cold-water bath to cool yourself.



Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - Tips To Help You Diagnose The Problem!

Get off the mobile and go outside - Are these words being heard more commonly nowadays, than at any other point in time in life? The answer could be frighteningly real as humanity has just stepped in one of the newest forms of a psychiatric disorder. What's worse is that the medical world is divided whether if this should be considered as a disease and separate field to be dedicated to it or simply pass it off as a generation growth that the future has to embrace. 

Let us look a little deeper about the disorder and the serious nature that it weans.

What is internet & phone addiction?
Only recently did Internet addition and phone addition become part of the diagnostic and statistical manual of the mental disorder - Meaning that internet addiction is now effectively considered a psychiatric disorder and there are chances of identifying and treating it using medically approved means. As the name suggests, internet addiction and phone addiction means that the person is using his creative and designated time on the medium when he is no longer required to. Simply put it becomes an obsessive habit on the part of the person to look into the phone and use the internet as a routine activity. Long-term addiction can lead to many psychological factors such as withdrawal symptoms, depression, and general loss of awareness about the surroundings. For most people, the syndrome can be an underlying factor of an even more severe health condition that the person is trying to mask by whiling away his time with the internet and the mobile. Across the people who get affected by it, the common traits are the internet gaming and social media.

The addiction in today s world:
The velocity of the disorder is yet to take on the world. As of now only two countries- South Korea and China have identified the disorder as a disease and treatments are administered. Europe and United States have just categorized it as a disorder and research is being done on it. The general treatment plan that exists now aims to understand the patient first. The psychiatric treatment tries to successfully make a minor bridge between the user and his addiction. From practicing different time of using the internet to suggesting new schedules and goals, the person can be slowly be eased backed into the society. The purpose of the psychiatric treatment is not to block the internet/ mobile usage completely but to limit them. A person is educated to get his satisfaction in other forms like relations ships, outdoor activities than to depend on the internet. Apart from it some depression reducing drugs can also be had at the insistence of the psychiatrist.

Medical Possibilities
Professors argue that Internet addiction and mobile addiction is not exactly a disease. It simply determines an underlying medical condition of a person that needs more treatment. Though still in its early stages the medical world has made it clear that its contribution towards these mental addictions would increase by massive miles within the turn of the decade.

Internet & Phone Addiction - Can It Be A Sign Of A Medical Condition?

Life has its ups and downs, but often we hold on to the downs for much longer than the actual event. While the trigger or anger, pain and hurt are beyond our control, the amount it can affect us is well within reach. Here are a few ways to cope better with emotional upsets.

Give yourself a window to be upset: Be realistic and give yourself a time frame to give in to your emotions. Whether, angry, sad or frustrated tell yourself that you have only 1 day to be upset. In a way, this will diffuse the anger and frustration and once this time is over, you can start planning ahead.
Take responsibility: Try analysing what you may have done to make the other person react in the way he or she did. Focus on what you could have done better and you will find yourself feeling more empowered.
Get physical: Exercise and other forms of physical activity decrease stress hormones and increases the productions of endorphins or happy hormones that elevate the mind. Exercising also gives you time to focus on yourself without distractions.
Express yourself: Whether it s through art or writing, find an outlet for your emotions. This keeps it from being bottled up inside and gets the pain and frustration out of your system.
Breathe: Breathing techniques like ujayii and anulom vilom can help calm the mind down when it is troubled and upset. These breathing techniques also keep your emotions from escalating.
Get company: It is never a good idea to isolate yourself when you re feeling blue. Instead, find people who you can open up to and share your thoughts with. This will give you a fresh perspective on what is going on.
Look at both sides: No event is ever completely bad. No matter what may be troubling you look at both the good and bad sides of it. This can help minimise your loss and make it easier to let go of the problem.
Do something different: The best way to get your mind off something is to give it something else to focus on. If you re troubled by something that happened at work, go for a drive or play a sport. Similarly, if you re having relationship trouble, go out with a few friends or read a book to take your mind off it.
Visualize: Imagine the person or the event that is upsetting you as an object in your mind and visualise it melting away. Remind yourself that the anger or frustration you are feeling is worse than the person or event itself.
Clean up: Organise your desk, your room or start cleaning up space around you. This will take attention away from whatever is troubling you and give you something to do.

Are You Emotionally Upset? 10 Ways to Get Over it!

Being a victim or witnessing a horrific accident or personal assault can leave you shocked and scarred. Sometimes, these conditions last for months and years with memories of the traumatic incident triggering intense emotional and physical responses. This is known as post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. It is a fairly common anxiety syndrome and can be treated in a number of ways including drugs, exercise and psychotherapy. However, this treatment aims only to control the disorder and there is no known cure for PTSD as yet.

Exercise not only keeps the body fit, but also helps the body release endorphins. Endorphins help fight stress, fear and pain. Thus, exercising helps focus on the body and its movements instead of your fears. It can also help elevate the mood of a person. Low to moderate intensity exercising is ideal for a PTSD patient. Aerobics, pilates, yoga or martial arts like tai chi are known to be effective ways of reducing stress and anxiety in PTSD patients. Breathing exercises like pranayama can also help calm and relax the mind.

Exercise for a PTSD patient should be planned in repetitive sets. This enables the person to slowly master the type of exercise being done and regain control and confidence in himself. It also needs to be predictable so as to avoid triggering a PTSD emotional or physical response. Non competitive exercises are better than competitive exercises as it does not create an opportunity for the person to feel stressed. Exercising and practicing breathing techniques can also help a person analyze himself and his response to stressful situations. By understanding their reactions, a person can slowly bring about changes to handle stress in a better way.

For a PTSD patient, exercise should not be seen as a group activity but as an individual effort to increase self control. Patience is key here both for the patient and the therapist. It is also necessary for the person to have realistic goals from his exercise regimen. An exercise program for PTSD patients also needs to be flexible. In order to meet the needs of a patient, it may need to be changed in accordance to the medication he is under. Small incidents like having a flat tire when cycling can trigger anxiety in a person suffering from PTSD. However, if dealt with correctly, it can bolster confidence in the long run.

Lastly, exercising also helps improve self-image and build confidence which helps a PTSD patient break out of his protective shell and socialize with others.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - How Exercising Can Help You Overcome?

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