
7 CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONALLY STRONG PEOPLE

Emotionally strong people are better able to manage the stresses and distresses of daily life, and recover more quickly from challenges and crises when they arise. Is your emotional engine strong enough to take you through the ups and downs of life? Are you riding a bullock cart which can topple over anytime you pass through a broken road or are you driving a four wheel, all terrain vehicle, which will ensure you a safe trip through all the rocky terrains of your life?

A common cultural belief is that people who don’t cry and are unemotional, detached are the emotionally strong ones...and the ones who cry easily and exhibit emotional turmoil are the weaker ones. Well, this is just a myth and not an accurate indicator of one’s mental and emotional strength. A person’s internal coping mechanism will determine how strong he/she is emotionally and deal with challenges and bounce back from them. For eg. Two investors invest in a startup company and watch it fail after 5 years of hard work...one cries copious tears and falls apart, the other controls his emotions but feels defeated. Both were not emotionally strong as they couldn’t sustain the pressure and crumbled. It would have been fine if they felt sad and worried over the loss of time, resources and money and then bounced back with fresh ideas and renewed energy, which would have shown their capability to bounce back from difficult situations.

Unfortunately, too many of us judge ourselves incorrectly in exactly such moments. If we react emotionally or tearfully to emotionally challenging situations we scold ourselves for being weak, even when we have every intention of persisting and moving forward and even when we believe we will eventually succeed. Tears are usually a sign of frustration and disappointment, not defeat. What you believe about your future chances of success and how discouraged you feel in the long term is far more important than how often you cry in response to stresses and bad news.

The following list will help you decide how emotionally strong you are and where you need to work on yourself:

1) Emotionally strong people are less discouraged by setbacks and disappointments: they see each failure as an opportunity to learn and improvise over the last one. They compare themselves with themselves and define their own measures for failure and success. You could do an analysis of your strengths, limitations, opportunities and impediments in order to get over difficult situations. Geet, a student who didn’t get into his desired subject of IT, sat through 5 years of Law and did some extra courses in corporate law and worked towards fulfilling his dream of working in the Corporate. He felt confident, happy and satisfied with his efforts.

2) Emotionally strong people are more adaptable to change: they welcome and embrace changes in themselves and their environment simply because it brings newer opportunities and learning which can catapult them on their way to success. New boss, different stage of life, children going away are changes that will surely happen. Preparing for them in advance, can help people cope better with changes. When Surabhi got married, she took marital counselling to prepare for the differences that will crop up due to changes in the environment, thinking and attitudes of her inlaws family. She is a happy and successful wife and mother today.

3) Emotionally strong people are able to recognize and express their needs: ability to acknowledge and express your needs is being genuine to yourself and an expression of self care. People who are self aware move faster on the ladder of success as they are devoted and passionate towards their goals and needs. Taking care of your health and exercising along with a professional career makes for an emotionally strong person. You can become aware of your needs and values in counselling and experience contentment and power as you take charge of your life.

4) Emotionally strong people focus on getting around a hurdle rather than on the hurdle itself: focussing on the hurdle can be very emotionally draining and demotivating. Emotionally strong people invest their energies in working through a problem and looking for viable solutions, which ensures their victory over stresses and strains. If you have lost money in business, then working on your sales and marketing skills could get you better gains rather than feeling defeated. Counselling can help you look at problems objectively and from different perspectives. Get in touch with your problem solving skills and feel motivated and accomplished again.

5) Emotionally strong people can learn from mistakes and criticism: who hasn’t been subjected to criticism or made some mistakes? It’s human to err. Working towards excellence rather than perfection and looking for the golden piece of advice in the strong criticism helps emotionally strong people win over situations and important relationships. Sarita, an intelligent and smart woman ignored the critical remarks of her mother in law because she knew that there is a lot to learn from her. She knew which battles to fight and which ones to let go of.

6) Emotionally strong people tend to see the larger perspective in a challenging situation: They don’t get weighed down by smaller defeats when they have the larger picture in mind. An emotionally strong employee, Martin, who experienced office politics, kept his cool and focussed on his work.

7) Emotionally strong people are able to recover more quickly from emotional wounds such as failure or rejection: nobody can reject you unless you give them the permission. Seeing each failure as an opportunity to grow and learn helps. Staying with what you can do differently next time and having fall back plans helps to reduce the impact of failure. Thomas Edison didn’t get deterred by the number of times he could make his bulb glow. He kept looking at different permutations and combinations and kept learning from each mistake. Finally, his bulb glowed and now we all can benefit from the fruits of his hard labour.

If you don’t find yourself scoring high on this list, then there is no need to worry because in personal counselling, you can build emotional strength and capacity to bounce back by working on your mindset and learning more adaptable responses to stresses of daily living.

7 characteristics of emotionally strong people

With exam time around the corner, the stress is on both parents and students. Some kids spend very less time with books and assimilate all that is there in the books. Other children may have a hard time trying to focus on studies and even harder time in recollecting what they have studied. 

What can help improve focus, concentration, and memory? Try some of these tips and identify what works for you and build your own rules.

Create a suitable environment: Some claim that they study better with the TV or radio on, this is often not true. Get rid of background noises, phone ringtones, etc. This creates  division of attention,  where there is no 100% focus on books. Sit in a quiet environment without any disturbance for better focus. Red walls are believed to improve concentration, so try a red wallpaper, red computer desktop, etc. Sit in the same place and get into a regular routine of studying.
Draw up a schedule or timetable: Try to finish the tougher subjects or topics first by giving adequate time for these.
Treat yourself: When you have thoroughly understood a topic or cracked a practice exam well, treat yourself to a bar of chocolate or a video song. You begin to do better in anticipation of these treats.
Include breaks: A break of 15 minutes every two hours is very essential for the brain to process the information that was pumped in and to get ready for the next lot.
Work on improving brain power: Learning (memorizing or analyzing) stimulates the brain and improves brain power. So, people who are constantly studying can claim to have better brain power.
Build a concentration clock: With our attention spans spiralling down, this is very important. Force yourself to sit in one place and study. If you have the urge to break, try to delay it, first by two minutes, then five minutes, and then 10 minutes. This will gradually help you overcome the urge to take breaks.
Have healthy food: Eating healthy and nutritious food is another habit to develop, if you want to pep up your brain. Ensure your food has sufficient minerals and vitamins. Try eating fresh food and dairy products adequately.
Follow a systematic sleep routine: If you are not someone who likes to sleep for fixed eight hours, begin doing it. This works wonders for the body and mind like very few other things.
Exercise regularly: This improves blood circulation to the brain and improves brain functioning. So be it cycling or running, gymming or swimming, take an exercise break. Yoga or meditation are equally efficient. 

Improve Your Concentration - Make Your Study Hour Count!

What Does 3 Cigarettes a Day Do to You?

Smoking can cause irreparable damage to your mind and body. Chemicals in the tobacco travel to all parts of the body, leaving no area unaffected. According to available data, smoking causes 30% of all cancer deaths and about 80% deaths from emphysema and bronchitis. In addition to adversely affecting yourself, smoking also has a severe impact on your near and dear ones. According to WHO, about 600,000 people die every year from passive smoking. Out of the deaths that occur due to this, 1/3rd is that of children.

The Indian situation
While 85% of tobacco users worldwide consume it in the form of cigarettes, in India only 13% use it in that form. Additionally, 54% use it in the form of beedis. A study conducted on Indian smokers has revealed that an average of 8.2 cigarettes is smoked by an individual daily.

The study also revealed that the number of cigarettes smoked every year had grown to over 6 trillion. While 1 out of 10 adults dies from tobacco use worldwide, 5% of deaths in women and 20% of deaths in men in India are caused by cigarette and beedi smoking.

What happens when you smoke?
Cigarette smoke is made up of 4000 chemicals that are present either as tiny particles or gases and about 50 are known to lead to cancer, the toxin nicotine being one of them. In addition to nicotine, the chemicals that make up cigarette smoke also include tar and carbon monoxide. Prolonged exposure to these toxins can hamper your body's ability to filter air and clean the lungs. The smoke not only irritates the lungs but also causes excess production of mucus.

It also causes a paralysis of the tiny hair-like structures like cilia that line the airways and are responsible for removing dust and dirt from the organ. Paralysis of these hair-like structures also causes a buildup of mucus and toxic substances, leading to lung congestion. The extra mucus that is produced causes smokers to suffer from the very ubiquitous smoker's cough and chronic bronchitis.

It's also one of the many triggers of asthma, which brings about the narrowing and inflammation of the airways. Long-term exposure to tobacco smoke causes the destruction of the structure of the lung, walls of the airways as well as lung tissue. The result is a condition known as emphysema. Additionally, smoking also leads to cancer of the lung and over 80% lung cancer cases occur due to this habit.



What Does 3 Cigarettes a Day Do to You?

Both schizophrenia and autism are considered to be neurological disorders resulting from atypical neural development, occurring due to a variety of causes. Both these disorders have a genetic predisposition that may be due to environmental factors. However, there are a few basic differences between the two disease conditions.

Autism is also known as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by a spectrum of abnormal behaviour. They include persistent deficits in social communication and interaction, along with restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests or activities.

Signs of autism in babies

By 6 months - No social smiles or other warm, joyful expressions; limited to no eye contact
By 9 months - No sharing of vocal sounds
By 12 months - No babbling or use of gestures to communicate; not responding to one s name when called
By 16 months - No use of words
By 24 months - No meaningful or two-word phrases
Signs of autism at any age

Avoids eye contact and wants to be alone
Finds it difficult to understand other people s feelings
Speaks very less or has delayed language development
Echolalia - Repeats words or phrases
Cannot accept change in routine or surroundings
Performs repetitive behaviours like flapping or rocking
Has restricted interests and hobbies
Reacts unusually intense to sounds, smells, tastes, lights, colours etc.
Schizophrenia
Schizophrenia is a neuropsychiatric disorder that begins during late adolescence and early adulthood. It is characterized by delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech and behavioural changes that cause social and occupational dysfunctions.

Signs of Schizophrenia

The symptoms of schizophrenia are usually observed between ages 16 and 30, such as e.g. delusions, hallucinations, thought disorders, movement disorders etc.
Delusions are false beliefs of the patient that may take many forms like delusions of persecution or grandeur. You may feel somebody is controlling you or may think you have extraordinary powers and abilities.
Hallucinations are when the patient hears voices more than seeing, feeling, tasting or smelling random things, which are not actually there.
Thought disorders are when the person jumps from one subject to another for no logical reason.
Some negative symptoms i.e. these are symptoms which are normally present in a healthy individual, but are absent in a schizophrenic patient. E.g. absence of facial expressions, lack of motivation etc.
Cognitive symptoms affect the individual s thought process. They can be positive or negative based on their expression. E.g. poor  executive functioning  which deals with the ability to understand information and make decisions using them, finding it difficult to focus etc.
Although both Autsim spectrum disorder and schizophrenia are interlinked in their causes and neurological background, the symptoms for each disorder are different. 
Consult your physician if you happen to observe any of these symptoms in your loved ones.

Autism & Schizophrenia - What Is The Difference?

There is a wide range of remedies that are available to treat depression in young adults. While there is no proven way of treating depression, broadly there are three approaches that is psychological, medical and natural. The key is to know the cause of depression. Once the cause is known, a qualified professional decides the course of treatment.

Psychological Treatment: Psychological treatments revolve around talking with the patient and change the way he thinks. It equips an individual to cope up with stress, depression and conflicts. The three most popular treatment approaches are CBT, IPT and MBCT.

1. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is an approach where the behavioral pattern of the patient is analyzed and a certain change in behavior is suggested to deal with depression. CBT is a problem-solving approach where a psychologist first analyzes the problem and helps a patient to see the problem from a more positive aspect. 

2. Interpersonal therapy (IPT) deals with problems related to personal relationships. It analyses the relationship pattern of a patient and specifically addresses them to drive away depression. 

3. Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT) is a group activity and encourages a patient to express their feelings. The idea is to share as much as a patient can. It helps the mind to focus on the present rather than wondering it to something irrelevant that causes depression.

Medical treatment: Medical treatment deals with depression with the help of antidepressants. Medication depends on the level of depression. For more serious depression, such as psychosis and bipolar disorder, a doctor often prescribes psychotic drugs along with antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Medical treatment is suggested only when psychological treatment fails. A patient might have to get admitted in a good facility for a short time or full period of the treatment.

The natural treatment: It is related to lifestyle changes and helps a patient overcome depression. It can be followed along with other forms of treatment. Some good practices are as follows:

1. A good diet: A healthy diet often helps to fight depression. Serotonin rich food such as coconut oil, fish oil, eggs, cherries, Omega-3 acid greatly helps in fighting depression.

2. Stay away from Caffeine: Any caffeine related products such as coffee, cigarettes or liquor should be avoided during the depression.

3. Meditation: Meditation greatly helps in overcoming depression. It offers the much-needed piece of mind and helps to concentrate more.

4. Daily exercise: It has been observed that regular physical activities such as walking, running and free hand exercise can be of great help in overcoming depression. It uplifts mood and reduces stress.

5. Pumpkin seeds: Pumpkin seeds contain important elements such as magnesium, healthy fat, amino acid and L-tryptophan. Pumpkin seeds help to secrete serotonin and serotonin, in turn, help in fighting depression.

How to Treat Depression in Young Adults?

Each and every person on this planet has to deal with the loss of a loved one at some point of their life or the other. It is an undeniable and unavoidable part of the human existence. However, at times, the grief can affect the person so much that their psychological, emotional and physical health may be affected. Their normal day- to-day functioning may be affected as a result of their extreme reaction to the loss of their loved one. In such a case it is ideal to seek treatment from a certified medical professional such as a counselor or psychologist. If the condition is even more serious and the patient requires help to treat him or her, then it is advisable to go to a psychiatrist.

However, the following tips commonly given by mental health professionals may help to deal with such a loss:

-Accepting one's emotion: sometimes an individual may remain in denial about the loss of the loved one or about his or her own reaction to it. This increases the negative emotion as it does not find a medium of expression. The person withdraws into himself or herself, and is slowly unable to conduct the usual daily activities. The first step therefore is to fully accept the reality of the event and one's own response to it. It can help to speak to a friend or family member about one's own response, or even release the grief by crying. Such cathartic avidities are the first step.

-Taking care of oneself: often after the death of a loved one, an individual may become wary of his or her own condition and fail to look after himself or herself. This should be avoided. Normal diet, exercise and activities are required.

-Channeling grief into productive activity: constantly focusing on the loss of the loved one can increase the trauma and stress. Sometimes it helps to focus on helping others, e.g. Volunteering at a charity or assisting others in some way. Even taking up artistic pursuits or any productive hobby proves to be beneficial.


Coping with the Loss of Loved One

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