Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.

3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Raising your Children with High Self Esteem

Each and every person on this planet has to deal with the loss of a loved one at some point of their life or the other. It is an undeniable and unavoidable part of the human existence. However, at times, the grief can affect the person so much that their psychological, emotional and physical health may be affected. Their normal day- to-day functioning may be affected as a result of their extreme reaction to the loss of their loved one. In such a case it is ideal to seek treatment from a certified medical professional such as a counselor or psychologist. If the condition is even more serious and the patient requires help to treat him or her, then it is advisable to go to a psychiatrist.

However, the following tips commonly given by mental health professionals may help to deal with such a loss:

-Accepting one's emotion: sometimes an individual may remain in denial about the loss of the loved one or about his or her own reaction to it. This increases the negative emotion as it does not find a medium of expression. The person withdraws into himself or herself, and is slowly unable to conduct the usual daily activities. The first step therefore is to fully accept the reality of the event and one's own response to it. It can help to speak to a friend or family member about one's own response, or even release the grief by crying. Such cathartic avidities are the first step.

-Taking care of oneself: often after the death of a loved one, an individual may become wary of his or her own condition and fail to look after himself or herself. This should be avoided. Normal diet, exercise and activities are required.

-Channeling grief into productive activity: constantly focusing on the loss of the loved one can increase the trauma and stress. Sometimes it helps to focus on helping others, e.g. Volunteering at a charity or assisting others in some way. Even taking up artistic pursuits or any productive hobby proves to be beneficial.


Coping with the Loss of Loved One

There are instances when a kid doesn t show the usual signs of development compared to their peers. Most parents take it casually thinking that their child will catch up in due course only to find a larger problem associated with it. It is therefore extremely important to discuss speech and language related delays with a medical practitioner to find out whether a child is immature or has a genuine problem which requires medical help. A child can show different signs as per age:

Different age group:

Within the first 12 months, a baby should be able to relate to his environment and make babbling and cooing sound. It is often observed that by month 9, a baby is capable of stringing sounds after seeing things. If a baby is intently watching objects, but is unable to make any sound, this may be an early symptom of speech or language related problem.
Between the 12th and the 15th month, a baby should be capable of making a wide array of sounds including few commonly used words. Babies should also be able to take few basic instructions and oblige those.
Between the age of 18th and 24th months, a baby becomes smart enough to pronounce anywhere in the range of 20 to 50 words. They also start combining words and make simple sentences. They should be capable of identifying common objects and remember their names.
By the age of 3, a toddler should be smart enough to combine 4-5 words and form sentences. Kids of this age also become smart enough to take straightforward instructions and perform them comfortably. Any deviation on this should be immediately reported to the Doctor.
What are the warning signs?
If a child between the age of 1-2 is not able to do the following things:

Fails to use gesture
Use more gesture than vocalising by the age of 18 months
Produce no voice by 18th-month
Fails to perform simple instructions
A child between the age of 2-3 needs evaluation if:

Capable of imitating words but isn t spontaneous in vocalising
Repeats certain words multiple times
The tone of voice is unusual compared to his peers
Possible causes of speech and language delay:

Problems with palate leading to oral impairments
Short frenulum restricting sufficient tongue movement to produce speech
Oral-motor problems leading to speech limitation
Problems related to hearing
Chronic infection of the ear leading to speech delay
What does the pathologist assess?

What can the child speak?
What can the child understand?
Oral-motor status
Clarity of speech
Post the above evaluation a pathologist directs a plan of action. Sometimes speech therapy sessions are recommended in order to improve kids  skill. For a motor related problem, a doctor can state a plan of action and limit the expectation of parents.

Speech & Language Delay - Spot The Signs!

Every person is familiar with the remark  Stop fidgeting  but does anybody ever wonder why do humans fidget? Is there any scientific reason for such an action? This article will throw light on the underlying causes for what is known as fidgeting.

Fidgeting and its underlying causes

Scientific research has revealed that fidgeting has many benefits still most people get annoyed when they see another person twitching and tapping. Most people do this seemingly without any control over their movement when they are ordered to be still. Research shows that there is at least one biological reason to back this action.
Since the same brain area is used for movement and speech, it is only natural that gestures are interlinked with thorough preparation for a speech. People tend to move their hands more when they are looking for a word to say, but are not being able to find it. In a recent study, it was found that school children between the age of 6-8 years who use their hands a lot can come up with the right answers during lessons.
While this is one theory, another neurological theory suggests that a portion of the mental load is off-loaded through the process of fidgeting when people have to tackle complex problems or thoughts. The theory is called cognitive load hypothesis. The offloading mechanism frees up the mental faculties thus, devoting them to the mental process. While this may not be a definitive explanation for fidgeting, it does go to show that there is a link between a person s hand movements and their thought and speech process.
Other reasons for fidgeting

Other than the cognitive advantages, some evidence has also been found linking fidgeting with metabolism. People who fidget are found to have a higher metabolism and lower BMI. This difference can be seen between thin and overweight people. Fidgeting amidst lollygagging during the day helps burn up to 350 calories a day. Also, fidgeting among other incidental physical activity helps keep an individual fit.
Among other reasons, fidgeting also serves as a coping mechanism for people with ADD. If a person is engaged in something that he/she is not interested in then the additional sensory-motor input that is even slightly stimulating or entertaining helps the brain to get completely engaged. This helps to maintain focus on the actual activity being performed by the individual.
So, fidgeting helps distract that part of the brain that is getting bored. This helps the other parts of the brain focus better on the actual activity. This is known as floating attention which perhaps is an evolutionary trait that dates back to prehistoric times. In those times, the ability to focus entirely on a task with undivided attention was not favorable to the human since doing so could make them unaware of the enormous ravenous beast hiding behind the bushes.
Thus, though there is some degree of understanding is there when it comes to fidgeting, more research studies are required to gain further insight. Consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

Fidgeting - Why Do We Do It?

Smartphone Addiction is a Sign of Depression

There are some people who just never seem to get off the phone. They would be looking at their phones all the time, messaging, using social networking sites or simply clicking their pictures or playing games. A study suggests that addiction to the smartphone is linked to and serves as a sign of depression.

The study reveals that individuals who have been diagnosed with some form or degree of depression tend to use their phones more. In fact, smartphone addiction is correlated to clinical depression. So, if your teenage son or daughter or someone you know have been using their phones too often, then this might be a red signal towards depression.

Smartphone addiction can be seen as a compulsive behavior and is typically noticed among depressed people. At the same time, it can result in depression as well. People who are prone to developing depression symptoms may also use their phone more often. Their excessive usage and smartphone addiction may actually make them irritable and sad, looking at photos of others, noticing other people’s lives may make them feel that their lives aren’t perfect. This can in turn lead to feelings of extreme sadness, cause depression or even suicidal thoughts.

So, make sure that you keep a tab of how often people use smartphone in your family. If you suspect behavioral changes with smartphone addiction, consider getting a consultation with a psychologist or counsellor.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Your Addiction To Smart Phone Reveals Something Shocking About You!

Being a victim or witnessing a horrific accident or personal assault can leave you shocked and scarred. Sometimes, these conditions last for months and years with memories of the traumatic incident triggering intense emotional and physical responses. This is known as post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. It is a fairly common anxiety syndrome and can be treated in a number of ways including drugs, exercise and psychotherapy. However, this treatment aims only to control the disorder and there is no known cure for PTSD as yet.

Exercise not only keeps the body fit, but also helps the body release endorphins. Endorphins help fight stress, fear and pain. Thus, exercising helps focus on the body and its movements instead of your fears. It can also help elevate the mood of a person. Low to moderate intensity exercising is ideal for a PTSD patient. Aerobics, pilates, yoga or martial arts like tai chi are known to be effective ways of reducing stress and anxiety in PTSD patients. Breathing exercises like pranayama can also help calm and relax the mind.

Exercise for a PTSD patient should be planned in repetitive sets. This enables the person to slowly master the type of exercise being done and regain control and confidence in himself. It also needs to be predictable so as to avoid triggering a PTSD emotional or physical response. Non competitive exercises are better than competitive exercises as it does not create an opportunity for the person to feel stressed. Exercising and practicing breathing techniques can also help a person analyze himself and his response to stressful situations. By understanding their reactions, a person can slowly bring about changes to handle stress in a better way.

For a PTSD patient, exercise should not be seen as a group activity but as an individual effort to increase self control. Patience is key here both for the patient and the therapist. It is also necessary for the person to have realistic goals from his exercise regimen. An exercise program for PTSD patients also needs to be flexible. In order to meet the needs of a patient, it may need to be changed in accordance to the medication he is under. Small incidents like having a flat tire when cycling can trigger anxiety in a person suffering from PTSD. However, if dealt with correctly, it can bolster confidence in the long run.

Lastly, exercising also helps improve self-image and build confidence which helps a PTSD patient break out of his protective shell and socialize with others.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - How Exercising Can Help You Overcome?

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