For years I have been practicing as a psychotherapist in different parts of the world and what I have noticed is that no matter what kind of relationship or marriage a couple are in, when they end up in my office it's always for the same reason: they want to be happier, healthier and more-connected even though the issues can vary - money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc.

Despite this each relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it, yet following certain guidelines may help proceeding happily in a relationship.

If you are struggling in your relationship (and if you are reading this article there is a big chance you are unless you are one of my friends..or both) you might find it helpful to follow some of these ideas:

1. Love yourself

You must love yourself before you can love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortcomings.

2. Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise... just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things repeatedly.

3. Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without any regard for others. It is what makes compromise in a relationship possible. If I realize that something I've done has hurt you (because I can empathize with your pain or unhappiness) I will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected.). And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way.

Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship. In Daring Greatly, Dr. Brene Brown defines vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. Given this definition, the act of loving someone and allowing them to love you may be the ultimate risk. Love is uncertain. It's risky because there are no guarantees and your partner could stop loving you. Exposing your true feelings may mean that you are at a greater risk for being hurt or criticized.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love.

Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Dr Perel, in her popular TED talk explains that neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships - which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability - damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

If after trying the above you are still struggling with your relationship, make sure you go and see a couple therapist.

Two couples talking in one couple's living room...

One says to the other, 'The work being done on your marriage.. are you having it done or are you doing it yourselves?'



8 Tips To Rev Up Your Relationship With Your Partner

No matter which kind of relationship couple are in, they always have some issues and look to be happier, and more connected, though the issues can be different for different couples -  money, sex, infidelity, in-laws, children etc. Despite this, any relationship is completely subjective and no clear cut rules can be executed on it. Yet, following certain guidelines may help proceed happily in a relationship.

1.Love yourself

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Accepting yourself fully as you are and showing yourself this same unconditional love will provide protection, healing, and confidence to work on your shortfalls.

2.Adopt a positive lifestyle

There are many different ways in which you can embrace a more positive lifestyle - practice affirmations, express gratitude, meditation, exercise. Just find something that helps you unwind and enjoy life. And most importantly - keep doing these things.

3.Empathize with your partner

The ability to empathize is what inhibits us from just going through life doing whatever we want, without regard for others. It is what makes a compromise in a relationship possible. If you realize that something you've done has hurt another person and you can empathize with his/her pain or unhappiness, you will hesitate to do that again.

4. Take responsibility: Don't try to figure out who's right

When couples come for therapy, one or both tend to think that the primary problem is their partner. Both people co-create the climate of the relationship. And both need to do some things differently to create the marriage or relationship they both really want. If your intention is to create a more positive world for yourself and those around you, it's up to you to have the thoughts, moods, and actions that will create that world.

5. Stay connected

When there is distress in the marriage or relationship, one or both usually feel some emotional disconnection. Frequently, sexual passion diminishes as well. (However, sometimes one partner will try to increase frequency of sex in an effort to feel connected).  And often, people will busy themselves with work or kids instead, or do other things to either try to feel connected or to avoid being alone with the person with whom they feel the pain of disconnection.

6. Express thoughts, feelings, and wishes 

Resentment can build when couples sweep things under the rug, so be vulnerable and don't bury negative feelings, but try to express them in a respectful way. Opening up to your partner can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, but it is the most important part of an intimate relationship.

7. Try new things together

Boredom can be a major obstacle to lasting romantic or companionate love. Psychological research has suggested that couples who experience the most intense love are the ones who enjoy participating in new or challenging 'self-expanding' activities together.

8. Preserve your independence

Neediness and caretaking in long-term partnerships -- which can easily result from looking to the partnership for safety, security and stability -- damper the erotic spark. But if couples can maintain independence and witness each other participating in individual activities at which they're skilled, they can continue to see their partner in an ever-new light.

8 Guidelines for a Happy Relationship

Schizophrenia is a disease of the mind that is usually degenerative in nature. The complex disorder is generally characterized by symptoms, such as delusions, hallucinations (both auditory and visual) and disturbances in speech and is usually chronic in nature. The symptoms are not regular and can appear at any point of time. So it is highly possible that a person suffering from schizophrenia may sometimes bear resemblance to any other normal person and all of a sudden, might exhibit symptoms typical of Schizophrenia.

The causes of Schizophrenia include:

Brain Dysfunction: Abnormalities in the cerebral cortex (the cerebrum s outer covering that is vital in regulating consciousness) of the brain is the most common cause of this disorder. This is due to the presence of abnormally enlarged ventricles in that region. The decreased brain size owing to the enlarged ventricles is often related to the hallucinations and delusions experienced by schizophrenics.
Genetic Factors: Studies have also stated  genetics  to be an important cause behind this disorder. Closer the family ties, higher the risks of transmitting the disorder.
Biochemical Factors: More than one neurotransmitter is being targeted by recent drugs to control schizophrenia.

Symptoms which most people do not experience normally, but are found in people diagnosed with schizophrenia are said to be positive symptoms. They are:

Hallucinations: These are sensory experiences of things that do not exist outside the mind. Hallucinations usually manifest in the form of auditory or visual images.
Delusions: Delusions on the other hand are false beliefs one has about oneself. Delusions are of 3 major types:
Grandeur: Wherein the person imagines himself to be a famous personality
Persecution: The belief that somebody somewhere is plotting against you and the whole world is going to get you.
Control: The belief that a larger force, let s say a witch, a demon or even a duck for that matter is controlling your actions.
These positive symptoms generally respond well to medications.
In addition to this, schizophrenics think and speak differently than the rest of the society. They jump from idea to idea, lose track of speech mid-way and often speak in fragmented and haphazardly joined sentences. They are, in fact, unable to fix their attention on anything in particular.
Examples of the most common negative symptoms include:

The flat effect: The individual basically shows no facial expression and always has a flat emotionless mask on while staring into space. At times, they have inappropriate reactions to situations. Example - they might laugh at somebody's death and cry ad get angry when something good happens. 
Avolition: This condition occurs when the individual just sit for hours doing nothing as well as behaves in a way lacking any motivation or enthusiasm.

Schizophrenia -  Can Biochemical Factors be the Cause Behind it?

Nowadays, drug abuse is a universally condemned action such that selling certain drugs are illegal. Children are not allowed to take drugs until they reach a certain age such as 21 for most states in India. Lots of problems start occurring when you are addicted to a certain drug. It is also nearly impossible to stop since the nerve cells change the way they function due to drugs. 

These nerve cells overstimulate the 'reward circuit' of the brain. This means that your brain constantly needs to be 'rewarded' and this reward comes in the form of drugs. There are many reasons why people become addicts and here are some of them.

People want to get high: This is perhaps the most common reason why people become drug addicts. The moment they take in one drug, they love the feeling they get so much that they keep wanting to go back to it.
People want to fit in: This is also a very common reason. When all your friends and perhaps even your bosses and other superiors are taking drugs, you do not want to feel left out or ostracized by your friend group. This is why many people start taking drugs.
Unintentionally taking drugs due to injuries or medical conditions: Sometimes a doctor prescribes a medicine for a certain time period but it does not work or works too well and so you keep taking the drug so that you will feel better. This happens more often than you think.
People take drugs to relieve stress: This is another very common reason why people take drugs. You may easily rationalize with them thinking that taking drugs is a good way to relax from work and family pressures. However, the long term effects of taking drugs are much worse than the stress.
Boredom from daily life: In young teens and adolescents especially, life can be so boring that they want to try something new and thus resort to drug abuse.

5 Reasons Why People Get Addicted To Drugs

Depression is one of the complex physical and psychological disorders. The disease is characterized by loss of pleasure or interest, sadness, feelings of guilt, low self worth, disturbed sleep and appetite, poor concentration and feelings of tiredness. The common effect of this condition is leads to the decreased activity level in some parts of the brain. The disease is a mild one that causes little annoyance in daily life. But the extreme stages may lead to severe effects where the affected person may fail to participate in their social life. In rare cases severity of suicide is even possible.

Depression is diagnosed by these symptoms:

    Lack of interest or joy in activities
    Sadness or low mood levels
    Feel of guilt without any reason
    Pessimism
    Inferiority thoughts
    Slow thought process
    Irritability
    Slow in interpreting sensorial stimuli
    Slow physical reactions
    Slow physical processes or digestion.

Types of depression
It can be either be a single disease or the effect of other diseases. It can also be due to two or more factors. Based on the cause the disease, it has been divided into six types, which are

    Reactive depression: Caused due to psychological struggle and stress.
    Endogenous depression: Caused due to strain or lack of rest.
    Depression by physical disease: This is caused due to any physical disease such as Parkinson s disease, stroke, hypertension, heart disease, cushing s syndrome, mononucleosis, hypothyroidism neurotransmitters in the brain etc.
    Depressive consequence of unsound lifestyle: This is caused due to less exercise, too much alcohol, coffee or tea consumption, least intake of necessary nutrients, too much sugar intake and fat.
    Postnatal depression: This happens mostly in women after pregnancy and child birth.
    Seasonal affective disorder: This happen due to cold and dark seasons of the year. The lack of light is the factor for causing depression as well. 

Treatment of depression
Best way to treat depression is through Psychotherapy, also anti - depression medicines are usually prescribed to treat the effects of depression. But the intake of these types of medicines result in nervous disorder. However, the best way to treat is through environmental changes and positive and happy surrounds to the affected person along with psychological counseling.

6 Types of Depression! + How it Affects Us?

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an abnormal condition of the mind that develops when a person is exposed to certain traumatic events in life such as accidents, sexual assault or warfare.

The major symptoms of PTSD are:

Reliving the traumatic experience over and over again; this leads to severe and long-term mental distress.
Recurring dreams about the events.
Provocation of traumatic thoughts by the slightest event that causes distress to the individual.
Avoiding memories and thoughts that might remind them of the event.
Developing a negative view of themselves and the world.
Developing social or specific phobias.
Treatment

Medication and antidepressants: Medicines such as paroxetine, sertraline and selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) help the individual address insomnia-related problems that occur due to PTSD and suppress nightmares.
Psychotherapy: This form of therapy is used to cure both mental health conditions (such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety and depression) as well as emotional problems that result from PTSD. Skilled mental health experts are needed for this form of treatment to be administered. They would listen to each individual patiently and provide effective strategies to give solutions to the problems. Some of these therapies are:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: This therapy enables the individual to adapt to changes and recognize thought patterns which lead to irrational and negative behaviour and actions.
Exposure therapy: This therapy causes the affected individual to first become anxious by exposing him/her to the traumatic memories, situations and objects by simulating them. The therapy helps the person to overcome his/her fears and become comfortable in the same environment that had previously caused fear and anxiety.
Group therapy: This popular and effective form of therapy allows the individual to share his/her feelings, fears and thoughts with a group of people who have themselves experienced similar trauma in their lives. Sharing such experiences helps reduces stress levels.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - Ways It Can Be Managed!

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