While we all know substance abuse is a social issue and learning that a loved one is affected by the problem can be nearly heart-breaking. It is definitely not something that can be easily accepted. At the same time, the affected individual needs all your love and attention and more importantly support to get through the situation. It is important to not show anger or frustration at the person but to empathize and help them get out of the situation. 

Read on to know some of the ways in which you can play an active role in supporting your loved one under such circumstances. This involves both of you coping with the situation at hand, as well as helping the person come out of the abuse. 

Educate yourself: When you are trying to help a person, you should know in detail about the substance that was being used and its ill effects. This gives you greater credibility, unlike the person who got carried with the happy feeling it gave and got into abuse. 
Ensure safety: This is both for the affected individual and yourself. With the required substance not being available, the person could look at harming either self or others, especially ones who are trying to get them out of the abuse. Though the intent is to help, they are looked at as people who are depriving the feel-good feeling produced by the substance, which is no longer easily available. Therefore, ensure safety. 
Talk openly: In the beginning, be a good listener. Once you get their confidence, make them understand that the entire situation is making you upset and perhaps angry or frustrated too. Get them to focus on your proposal of getting out of the habit together. If they are willing then this can ensure greater success in quitting the habit. Get to understand how exactly the habit developed including the people responsible for it, the circumstances leading to it, and the various chemicals that were used. The duration and frequency are also important. Tell them it is okay and that you will both get out of it with each other s support. 
Participate in therapy sessions: Individual counseling will work effectively for the primary client, but it is also important for family members to get involved. The counselor also would need support beyond the few counseling hours for completely getting rid of an individual s habit. Therapy can help you learn how to manage the issues back at home. 
Find your  me-time : With all that is going on, you will need some time for yourself to just be. Eat well, stick to your workouts, sleep well, keep your friends, and make time for your hobbies. These will ensure you are in good shape to support the affected individual. It is not possible for you to help another person when you are not in great shape yourself.

Substance Abuse - How Should You Cope With Someone Going Through It?

When it comes to the brain and the iq, is bigger the better? does size really matter? is there really a connection between the size of your brain and intelligence? with the help of findings by neurologists 
And scientists, we seek to find out!

1. Ailments and the brain: scientists have found that children with autism have a brain that has grown in a disproportionate manner in the very first year of their life. This prevents the child from making connections with normal behaviour. On the other hand, children and adolescents who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or adhd have shown signs of having a much smaller brain size. Many scientists have shown that the size of the brain shrinks as we age, and this does not have any visible effect on our cognitive abilities.

2. It's all relative: the size of the brain does not really have a bearing on the way a person's cognition gets shaped. Even large mammals like elephants and whales are finally hunted and tamed by humans who have smaller brains in comparison. The brain is made up of billions of neurons which need to function properly. It may be seen that scientists consider the brain mass in relation with the rest of the body so as to speculate about the cognitive abilities of the person. Why is this required? large animals need a well functioning and proportionate brain size to control and run their organs with proper cognition for satisfactory results, which is what we humans seem to have done.

3. Neanderthal brains: historically, the earliest man or the neanderthals are said to have had larger brains than we do. These people are believed to have brains that are at least 10% larger than the brains that we have in our modern times. The shape of their brain was different too. They were also heavily muscled people which had a bearing on the size and shape of the brain and bodies as well as the lean tissue within the brain. They also survived very successfully for a period of over 200, 000 years, which obviously points to some form of elevated cognition, as per many scientists.

4. Animals: while animals with small brains like lizards and reptiles do not perform too well on iq tests, the animals with bigger brains like elephants and dolphins perform much better. But the medium sized brains of monkeys, lemurs and other animals are said to perform in the best manner. The correlation between the body size and the brain does not seem to hold good here, as per various researches.

So the verdict as per medical science and research stands divided!

Is There an Association Between Brain Size and Intelligence?

Building your child s confidence and self image is an important part of raising a child. Self image can be defined as a child s view of himself and his strengths. If a child is comfortable with his self image, he will have confidence in himself. A foundation of self confidence is key to a child s success in his adult life. In their childhood years, a parent is the main source of building a child s self worth or self confidence. Here are a few ways you can develop your child s self confidence.

1. Avoid negative self talk: Children learn by watching their parents. Hearing parents berate themselves will make children do the same. Talking badly about yourself can reinforce a low self esteem. Hence avoid talking negatively about yourself and stop your child from doing it as well. If your child talks negatively about himself, give him evidence to prove the opposite or give them meaningful compliments. Also avoid calling your child names to shame him as these are likely to stay ingrained in his mind.

2. Celebrate uniqueness: Don t make your child feel like he has to live up to the standards set by siblings or peers. Further, do not pressurize them to fulfill your dreams. Recognize your child s strengths and celebrate his unique abilities. Help them develop their talents and set their own standards for themselves.

3. Let your child make decisions: Empower your child by allowing them to make decisions about simple things like what game to play or what to eat for dinner. Make them feel that their views are valued and thus teach them to be an active member of the family.

4. Let them work things out for themselves: Spoon feeding your child makes things easier at the time, but in the long run can have a negative effect on their self confidence. Be patient and let your child try and do things for himself. As he meets and overcomes new challenges, his confidence will grow. Give your child age appropriate chores to do around the house. This helps build responsibility and a feeling of competency.

5. Be genuine about your praise: Children are highly intuitive and can tell the difference between sincere praise and something being said merely for the sake of it. For example, if your child has made a drawing, instead of simply telling your child that he is an artist in the making be more specific and praise his choice or colours or ability of colouring within the lines.

Raising your Children with High Self Esteem

Nowadays, drug abuse is a universally condemned action such that selling certain drugs are illegal. Children are not allowed to take drugs until they reach a certain age such as 21 for most states in India. Lots of problems start occurring when you are addicted to a certain drug. It is also nearly impossible to stop since the nerve cells change the way they function due to drugs. 

These nerve cells overstimulate the 'reward circuit' of the brain. This means that your brain constantly needs to be 'rewarded' and this reward comes in the form of drugs. There are many reasons why people become addicts and here are some of them.

People want to get high: This is perhaps the most common reason why people become drug addicts. The moment they take in one drug, they love the feeling they get so much that they keep wanting to go back to it.
People want to fit in: This is also a very common reason. When all your friends and perhaps even your bosses and other superiors are taking drugs, you do not want to feel left out or ostracized by your friend group. This is why many people start taking drugs.
Unintentionally taking drugs due to injuries or medical conditions: Sometimes a doctor prescribes a medicine for a certain time period but it does not work or works too well and so you keep taking the drug so that you will feel better. This happens more often than you think.
People take drugs to relieve stress: This is another very common reason why people take drugs. You may easily rationalize with them thinking that taking drugs is a good way to relax from work and family pressures. However, the long term effects of taking drugs are much worse than the stress.
Boredom from daily life: In young teens and adolescents especially, life can be so boring that they want to try something new and thus resort to drug abuse.

5 Reasons Why People Get Addicted To Drugs

Deepika and Ranbir show you how to manage relationships against all odds

Relationships may or may not always pan out the way you expect them to. Be it with a friend, family member or your partner, certain relationships may end up getting bitter over time. The reasons for this may be tensions in the relationship, break-ups, lack of compatibility, infidelity, lack of attention to details, over familiarity and so on. Although such incidents may scar you forever, it is always possible to mend your relationships, if you intend to.

The first thing you can do is to try to build a new friendship, whether it’s with your ex-lover or anyone else  you may have had a fall-out with. Take for example, the former couple- Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika Padukone. These Bollywood celebrities have flawlessly transitioned from being ex-lovers to being good friends.

So how did they do it?
Through 3 simple ways Ranbir and Deepika were able to heal the past and forge a new and meaningful relationship:

1. They kept it formal while setting boundaries

Ranbir and Deepika comfortably worked with each other in several movies as on-screen lovers with no insecurities. The reason they were able to do this was because they had set clear emotional boundaries.
Being secure is essential for you to stop yourself from reliving the past. Setting clear boundaries may help you in accepting that things are different now and the relationship has changed. Both the concerned people must respect each other’s decisions in order to have cordial relations and not be uncomfortable in the other’s presence.

2. They accepted the differences between them

Ranbir and Deepika were only successful in maintaining a cordial relationship because they had embraced each other’s differences rather than attempting to change each other.
You can only do this by giving yourself a little time. You can personally try to accept how every individual has a set of distinct characteristics and then try to respect and accept them for it.

3. They were polite and lived in the present

Even after having a checkered history together Ranbir and Deepika chose to remain courteous and amicable towards one another. They only focused on the present scenario, instead of mulling over past grievances - The biggest reason why they are on such good terms.
You should try to forget the past and hope for an improved future. Whether you meet at a social or an official gathering, you must hold your ground, be professional and courteous towards the concerned person. Participating in loose gossip about the individual or acting petty doesn’t reflect well on your personality.
Also, living in the past is a sign of an unhealthy state of mind. Learn to let go, and move on.

By learning from the real-life example of Deepika and Ranbir, you too can balance all your relationships well, no matter what happens.

If you would like to consult with me privately, please click on 'Consult'.

Lessons from Deepika and Ranbir on How to Manage Relationships Against All Odds

Smoking can cause irreparable damage to your mind and body. Chemicals in the tobacco travel to all parts of the body, leaving no area unaffected. According to available data, smoking causes 30% of all cancer deaths and about 80% deaths from emphysema and bronchitis. In addition to adversely affecting yourself, smoking also has a severe impact on your near and dear ones. According to WHO, about 600,000 people die every year from passive smoking. Out of the deaths that occur due to this, 1/3rd is that of children.

The Indian situation
While 85% of tobacco users worldwide consume it in the form of cigarettes, in India only 13% use it in that form. Additionally, 54% use it in the form of beedis. A study conducted on Indian smokers has revealed that an average of 8.2 cigarettes is smoked by an individual daily.

The study also revealed that the number of cigarettes smoked every year had grown to over 6 trillion. While 1 out of 10 adults dies from tobacco use worldwide, 5% of deaths in women and 20% of deaths in men in India are caused by cigarette and beedi smoking.

What happens when you smoke?
Cigarette smoke is made up of 4000 chemicals that are present either as tiny particles or gases and about 50 are known to lead to cancer, the toxin nicotine being one of them. In addition to nicotine, the chemicals that make up cigarette smoke also include tar and carbon monoxide. Prolonged exposure to these toxins can hamper your body's ability to filter air and clean the lungs. The smoke not only irritates the lungs but also causes excess production of mucus.

It also causes a paralysis of the tiny hair-like structures like cilia that line the airways and are responsible for removing dust and dirt from the organ. Paralysis of these hair-like structures also causes a buildup of mucus and toxic substances, leading to lung congestion. The extra mucus that is produced causes smokers to suffer from the very ubiquitous smoker's cough and chronic bronchitis.

It's also one of the many triggers of asthma, which brings about the narrowing and inflammation of the airways. Long-term exposure to tobacco smoke causes the destruction of the structure of the lung, walls of the airways as well as lung tissue. The result is a condition known as emphysema. Additionally, smoking also leads to cancer of the lung and over 80% lung cancer cases occur due to this habit.

Health Consequences of Smoking 3 Cigarettes A Day

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